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Why do people say holding on is what makes you strong, when letting go is often the most courageous thing one can do.
Throughout my life, I have “quit” things. Some small and insignificant in the scheme of things and some much larger.
I’ve quit diets, exercise, my writing in the past—all of which I came back to when I was in a happier place. I’ve joined things and then decided they weren’t for me so quit.
But this isn’t really the quitting I’m referring to. I’m talking about quitting something that is life-changing.
Yep, I’ve been a quitter; well, that’s the label I gave myself.
You see, I’m my harshest self-critic. Queen b*tch, the little voice in my head used to like to say the most awful things. She could be relentless with her put-downs and made me believe on more than one occasion that I was weak; I didn’t try hard enough; I failed; I will never succeed.
It always left me feeling the same way. Guilty. Shameful. Guilty for “giving up” and ashamed for not being a stronger and better person.
On my journey of healing, I have had a profound epiphany. Sometimes “quitting” big life things, like a relationship or a job, is us finally listening to our instincts. Maybe “quitting” is just a term we use to beat ourselves up, when we have finally become brave enough and vulnerable enough to speak our truth and walk away from something that no longer serves us in the way we both need and desire.
When I look at the ending of my 25-year marriage, some may say, I quit or I gave up. But what about the years prior where I tried, where I tried so hard to fix things. To make things work. All the moments I struggled—with my husband, with the relationship, and most of all with myself. Where I held on so tight because it’s all I knew. Where I refused to acknowledge my intuition, my creeping anxiety, because I didn’t want to hurt my husband and I didn’t want to hurt my kids.
I didn’t want to break my family. I was terrified of what others would think. I was scared. I stayed and I fought for as long as I could, and in the end I made the decision that I thought was best for our long-term happiness.
This is not “quitting” in the way we use this word. No, this is following your gut. It’s following your heart and soul. It’s being courageous enough to make the change. It’s knowing it will be f*cking hard and painful but doing it anyway because you have to live in alignment with yourself. Because you have to listen to your truth, rather than the lies you tell yourself.
You need to have the strength of character to know that living your authentic life is more important than keeping everyone else around you happy—at the expense of your own true happiness.
If you know deep down that something feels off. Maybe you daydream of being elsewhere, doing something different. Maybe the rawest version of your wants and needs are not currently being met, but you are too scared to admit it. Trust me when I say the inner voice will get louder. Your gut feeling will become stronger. Your body will begin to feel it in every cell until you listen.
It’s not easy. In fact it’s bloody hard, but you know what’s harder? Living a lie. Living a life that no longer resonates with you at the core. Knowing you have changed and what you want has changed. When you are brave enough and become strong enough, you will know the path you need to take.
It will not be “quitting”—it will be walking away, and you will be:
>> Following your inner desires
>> Raising your energetic vibration
>> Acknowledging you have grown and the path you were on is no longer the path you should be on
>> Alive, you will feel like you have awoken from a slumber
>> Able to grow into the very best version of yourself
>> A better person in all aspects, including a better parent. Why? Because you are finally being honest with yourself, and authenticity is the most attractive and passionate part of a person. When you are in the best environment for your well-being and growth it’s magnetic. All those in your life will see it and benefit from it. My kids have been the biggest beneficiaries of the person I am today.
>> Taking full responsibility for your own happiness
Finding what’s right for you can sometimes differ from what you always envisioned. It can most definitely take you down some different paths, but when you know in your heart and soul and you have the guts to pursue, you will have come home to yourself.
But turning over several stones to find the one that sets your soul on fire, the one that shines physically, spiritually, and emotionally, instead of settling for the safety of the first stone and your comfort zone, is a journey few are prepared to walk.
Finding what lights you up can take a long time and come in the most unlikely of places. But you have to be willing to turn the stones and be brave enough to choose a different stone, should that be your soul’s desire.
Don’t be afraid to walk away, if walking away is being true to yourself. Don’t be afraid to “quit,” because sometimes “quitting” guides you to exactly where you need to be.
We can’t live our most empowered, fulfilled, and beautifully passionate life, while trying to labor away at some place or with someone who doesn’t light up our soul anymore.
We can’t and won’t be able to manifest the life we truly desire, if we are unwilling to be true to who we are.
Sometimes “quitting” is the best thing you can do for yourself, and ultimately those you care about, because it gives them the opportunity to grow into who they are meant to be.