Even when you plan a change, you never know how deeply it will cut and what you will have to let go of in the process.Â
We are so enamored with what we expect to gain itâ€™s easy to forget even what we desire causes us to lose part of ourselves.Â Â
I never thought of myself as a person who needed to change or how others perceived me, other than a healthy dose of humility and insecurity. I certainly would not be accused of being trendy as my nature is more inclined to comfort and availability. Then one day, I realized that I am part of a growing trend toward redefining ourselves and the roles we play.
Our cultural perception of ourselves is shifting. What would have been inconceivable 10 years ago is now playing out in front of us like a story you just canâ€™t put down because itâ€™s so mind-blowing you have to stay and watch.Â
Our young ones are calling us to bring fluidity to what we once took for granted.Â
Traditional roles, dynamics, and expectations we once considered irrefutable are being questioned and re-evaluated. Where we previously had two choices for gender, there are now three, or a dozen of ways, to identify as the younger generations refuse to be limited by their genitalia. Theyâ€™re asking to be seen for who they are without the confines of normative gender identity.Â
Change is happening.Â
Then one day, the truth that I have to stand up for a change in how people perceive me arrived unexpectedly. Knowing that a change I never expected to make had to happen and I would never be the same.Â
My decision was already made because my heart already changed.
My awareness arrived when I realized I had outgrown the name others knew me by. It took all of two seconds, but I knew in that moment it wasnâ€™t an option anymore. It was done. Please believe me when I say that the last thing I wanted to change about myself was my name. Been there, done thatâ€”not doing it again. No, thank you. It is so much work.Â
Yet suddenly, I find myself in the middle of court applications, birth certificates, and government officesâ€”only to find out more was going to change than I could have anticipated.
The unplanned changes all started when I had to fully read my birth certificate to find information to change my name. It turned out that my birth certificate lists my home address at birth as a trailer park. My memories of our first home are warm and fond and I never shied from that truth. I had just never seen the actual address and it really made me stop and reflect.Â
You learn so much about yourself when you change your name.
I had to know what other interesting information was to be found. It was only a few boxes later on the quarter sheet of certified mimeo paper from decades ago when I saw it. I actually think I felt the room shift a little as the surprise hit me.Â
For decades I had my time of birth wrong.Â
Not a significant differenceâ€”a mere shift of 39 minutes off from the time I had always believed it was.Â Â
No big deal, right?
Actually, it is a big deal to me. Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated by people and what makes us who we are. The ways we are different and the ways we are the same. My fascination has carried me through a wide range of studies from psychology and coaching to astrology and enneagrams. Itâ€™s my passion. I find the synchronicities with astrology charts and personality traits intriguing.
Seeing that change shifted my perception of myself.Â Â
Those minutes change my birth chart in ways I donâ€™t yet know. Iâ€™m still me with all my quirks and idiosyncrasies.Â But I canâ€™t help but wonder what those 40 minutes meanâ€”maybe nothing, maybe everything.
The reality of this reality coinciding with my name change does make me stop and think.
How much change does the Universe have in store for me?