Family…it’s something we hear so much about this time of year. For some it invokes feelings of love and connection and for others it brings up feelings of disconnect and dysfunction. The beliefs about family also contributes to continued trauma, abuse, people pleasing and the compromising of boundaries.
This time of year, many are anxiously awaiting the gathering of their families, and for others there’s feeling of anxiety and dread. They wish they had the families they see on social media and Hallmark movies, secretly wondering why they weren’t blessed with a family like that.
Under the guise of “family” people often put themselves in toxic, unhealthy situations, compromising their own boundaries and mental well-being for “family”. There’s stress, sadness, division, abusive behaviors and excuses made. Issues that have been swept under the rug leaving a mountain in the middle of the gathering that no one wants to acknowledge. The disapproval runs deep and it is felt without a word even whispered.
Why do we put ourselves through this? Guilt and the idea of “family” perhaps?
For many in my community this is the case. More often than not I hear that their families are not on the same page as they are. The term “black sheep” or the “different one” is often how they are described by the others. It’s something they have to learn to accept and heal to move forward in this world and continue their mission as light workers.
Lightworkers and healers are still human, and it still hurts. This year the division runs especially high and I myself, am doing my best to work through the emotions this brings up. There is no “family” Christmas this year for us, for a multitude of reasons, that at times, weighs heavily on our souls. Working towards forgiveness and acceptance is the goal, and still the reality is piercingly painful sometimes. Amidst the chaos, is the realization that this is the first Christmas my Dad isn’t with us. Last year with lockdowns he wasn’t able to be with us either, yet the realness and finality is here. Acceptance yes, and still the emotions accompany it.
So, in a meditation a message was gifted to me, yet I know if was a gift for the world. These words will help shift the perspective around what “family should be” and help to find acceptance to what your family really “IS”.
Your Birth Family is the CAREGIVER of Your Soul,
Your Soul Family is the NURTURER of Your Soul
“Family” is who you choose it to be. So, if your birth family doesn’t feel loving, healthy and accepting of you, YOU can choose your SOUL family. Choose the ones you feel accepted around, the ones you can freely be who you are without hiding certain aspects of yourself. Who challenge you to more and hold space with you when you struggle. They are your greatest cheerleaders and they very well may be people you just meet.
That instant connection is your SOUL recognizing their SOUL, acknowledging that you are FAMILY!