How can we know who we desire to have in our lives when we do not see for ourselves what we want for the health of our own heart, soul, mind, and body?
There is a hidden, simmering anger buried deep in many women’s hearts as we come through teen years and cross the bridge into adulthood. It’s been carefully covered up by performance, compliance, and in some cases, rebellion.
We crossed the bridge from teen to adult, unsure of our own identity, and looked to others and society for the road map to experience belonging. Falsely equipped by society’s brainwashing, the media, and even our own culture, women are targeted to perform—to look a certain way, to behave a certain way, to belong.
We either complied or chose to blaze a rebellious trial with anger pushing the envelope—pity to those who stood in our way. Granted, a generalization, but one where you may find yourself somewhere between the two extremes.
Relationships, but mainly intimate relationships, this is where the imprinting over a lifetime rears its head. Anger emerges through suppression, trying its best to find an outlet. Because anger is always the shouting of our souls saying we’re going the wrong way.
Intimacy: In-To-Me-See. Our souls know the truth of that word and long to feel the fullness in our hearts that the soul is meant to deliver. But if we don’t know ourselves, if we haven’t examined what makes up the desires of our hearts, then we attract people to connect to in our lives based on a false identity and the illusion of what we have come to believe we want and need to experience intimacy and belonging.
We chose relationships for security and status—out of compliance to family or culture. Rarely (unless we have been brought up in a household and culture where we were encouraged to explore our hidden talents and natural characteristics) did we choose relationships out of the clarity of mind that this is a person we prefer to spend time with over anyone else.
We were told we could have it all!
The 70s came, and with it, the feminist movement. Simmering anger emerged when the life women had built did not bring them the security, safety, and fulfillment they were promised. They found themselves with dissatisfaction, loneliness, and a loss of identity. They lived a life feeling invisible and locked in a cage, built by their own hands, from a belief system imprinted over the years.
Instead of finally finding openness and freedom to explore what it meant to be a woman, the pendulum swung far to the other side. Feminine energy became demonized, and the masculine energy that had repressed women for so long was operating in full force by many women’s feminist movement leaders.
Women were told they could have it all—family, career, independence. But in trying to fill all those roles, we lived a life of performance, always keeping up with all those around us who bought the same lie. We became part of the consumer machine to drive an economy we no longer had time to enjoy. The fruit of our labors was ignored, as the call of career and family life filled the time.
Many women gave up their feminine intuition, creativity, insight, and passions to live in a dominant world full of masculine energy that neither fed their hearts and souls or those they chose to love. They became unbalanced in their energies, leaving the healing part inherent in women closed off, believing that feelings lacked the power to make it in the world.
The mind was almighty and revered over feelings and intuition. This lie separated women from their most valuable of gifts. Feelings were passed over—ignored—as logic tried to balance the playing field between masculine and feminine. Sadly, this also disconnected women from their souls—the soul that came to create, nurture, bring calm, peace, ingenuity, beauty, and life to the world.
After decades of hearing the feminist cry for equality, the scales are still unbalanced. And many women are still simmering with anger deep in their hearts. This emerges as sarcasm, manipulation, belittling of men, over-aggression, feuding, and competition with other women, all because we’ve lost our way and are separated from our inherent power as creators with an empowered identity.
We don’t have to tear our lives apart.
Sometimes we may find, once we turn our attention inward, that what we have built no longer serves or was ever in line with our nature. Case in point, Eat, Pray, Love was an example of how off course, we, as women, can become when we have followed a path society has trumpeted as a success, only to find at the destination a void and an empty heart. She walked away from the lie and found her soul.
No one. No one can give us our power back but ourselves.
First, we must acknowledge that, innocently, we believed the lie that we are weak as women, and to be strong, we must lean upon our masculine energy to be seen and heard in this world. We have not lost our power; we only laid it down. No one can take what is woven into the DNA of women. It may lie dormant, but it can rise once the light shines.
Second, there is nothing weak about feminine energy. We are built to carry the seeds of life—whether we give birth physically to a human being, project, or movement. Women set the tone of the home, workplace, education, and society. A woman carries within her the power of life or death. (Have you ever heard two women fight? The tongue can be a wicked, sharp weapon.) We must get back in touch with our truth and embrace the magic of being the creators of beauty and life that we are.
Third, women are co-creators in the world where it takes both energies—masculine and feminine—operating in harmony to build a healthy society. This isn’t about gender roles, but energies. We are energy beings, and it’s time to recognize who we are and start living through our souls.
Have you connected to your soul today?
Your soul is never angry. Your soul carries all your truth, potential, creativity, and limitless inspiration. It patiently waits to be acknowledged and invites to lead you to freedom, confidence, and the life you came here to live.
It’s always been there waiting for you.
It’s never too late.