January 15, 2022

3 Tips for Being Genuinely You.

Each day, I choose a quote to embark upon the day, and yesterday’s quote of the day is one that has stuck with me.

“I’m a human, and I’m multidimensional. If I was the perfect form of anything, I’d be boring. If I was a free spirit all the time, I would be boring; I would lack depth. If I was dark and enigmatic all the time, then I would lack relatability.” ~ Halsey

When I choose quotes, I do so with intention, always. It’s not just something to post. It’s something that spoke to me or provoked thought, thus I like to pass it on in the hopes that the same will happen for you.

I’m a seeker, eternally searching for something, but that something isn’t any one thing. It ebbs and flows, comes and goes. Sometimes, it’s satisfied by a good book or a temporary change of geography. Other times I need to dive deeper into something, a course, or a series of workshops.

One thing is for certain—it’s not a constant, just like the searching is never over.

Some people say if you are constantly seeking, feeling as if something is missing, then you must not be happy within yourself or complete. I don’t agree.

I think there are a multitude of reasons why people seek—and why people try so hard to find something to throw themselves into.

For many, that can be constructive—a hobby, a social group, a parish or temple community, volunteer work.

For others, it can be destructive—the bottle, drugs, eating disorders, gambling, sex, overspending.

Friends may tire of me saying that there is no one-size-fits-all. But there isn’t.

Some people are consistent, simple, and predictable. We can set our clocks by them, know their likes and dislikes, and trust in their never—if rarely—changing.

Others are constantly evolving, complex, and reliable—but likely not predictable. We never know what they’re doing from one day to the next other than their work responsibilities. They are made up of several layers, each one beckoning to be unpeeled. They change like the wind but are steady in any storm.

And that all works in the larger scheme of things. We’d be one heck of a boring human race if we were all the same.

I fall into the latter category; however, I think it is important to clarify that these personality traits exempt family, friends, and acquaintances. Though I can be bohemian and eccentric, eclectic in tastes, I am unyieldingly committed to my loved ones and my seeking is outside of my relationships.

Relationships are not our end all be all. People disappoint and hurt us. People cannot make us happy nor is it their responsibility to. People can enhance our lives, but it’s not their job to fulfill us.

Thus, there must be pursuits that satisfy us deep inside on a level that only we can determine. And it may change often.

The important thing is not falling into the trap that society—or even family and friends—asks us to.

We do not need to pick a political party and believe in all of their policies and vision 100 percent. We can be independents (unenrolled), which, in my opinion, is made up of the strongest people of all. It is not black and white—ever.

Nothing is.

One can be fiscally conservative and socially liberal. One can see some good in republicans and some good in democrats. Why are we made to feel that we must choose one over the other at all costs?

We do not need to subscribe to one religion and believe in all of their teachings 100 percent. We can learn about many and participate in any way we choose.

I have grown as a person by attending services at churches, temples, and other places of worship, all denominations of faith. I am a Christian with a deep faith in God, but I am not overtly religious. I am a Buddhist in many ways, but not all. I can relate to the Jehovah’s Witness, but I am not a follower. I do not think any one religion is the right one nor is any one religion better than another.

We do not need to have one hobby in which we throw ourselves into. We can have several, and even if none of them particularly stick, it’s perfectly acceptable to be serial hobbyists.

Just think of the multitude of things we will try and learn. An expansive array of interests can bring such knowledge and excitement to our lives. Then, we can share that with others.

The key thing is to believe in yourself. Don’t try to fit into a box because that’s what others want and need.

Here are three tips to being genuinely you:

1. Be confident in your complexity—even if you, like the rest of us, are learning, growing, and changing every day.

2. Be confident in your direction—even if you take winding roads, get lost along the route, or never quite find your way.

3. Be confident in being you—because you owe it to yourself and the world at large who will benefit from your authenticity and sincerity.

 

 

~

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