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January 30, 2022

A Love Letter to my Fellow “Emergency” Cesarean Mamas.

 

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Editor’s note: I put the word “emergency” in the title in quotes because many of the cesarean sections happen after a long, non-progressing birth. They are more often than not a last option, after a cascade of other interventions. They often do not feel like emergencies to the birthing person. This doesn’t take away the fact that some cesarean births are emergencies.

 

I see you. I feel you. I love you.

As if our beautiful pelvises haven’t suffered enough in this unrelenting, fast-paced, unsupportive society. To have our babies cut from the homes we worked so hard to protect them in for nine long months may feel like the biggest assault to our spirits yet.

To not be the first to touch your child as they emerge from the deep waters of your womb may create an inconsolable longing in your heart. To grapple with the grief of the initial separation when they decided it was more suitable for your baby to spend the first minutes, hours, or days of their lives under the care of medical staff than in your loving arms.

There are so many ways that this experience of birthing our babies challenges us—since the very beginning of our lives as mothers. Whether it’s our first, or we’re doing it for the third, fourth, or fifth time. Whether it was elective or not. We must heal on a deep level and build back even more strength than we had beforehand to compensate for the trauma our bodies have incurred.

Let’s consider something radical. What if this experience of birthing was actually a gateway into more resiliency, more pleasure, and more aliveness?

If your cesarean happened as the final option after a long, “unsuccessful” labour, have you considered that your baby and body were perfectly in tune and functioning excellently?

Of course, things were slow to progress in an environment full of strangers, bright lights, and the constant threat of interference and time constraints. Have you considered that perhaps your surgery was a necessary initiation into the powerful, important work of womb healing? Which is, in fact, the very work that is so desperately needed in order to heal the planet.

As long as we can recognise the magnitude of our experience, and in time, take the steps to metabolise the big feelings we have around it, we are doing the soul work of the healer, alchemist, and activist in this world.

Yes, trauma healing is a form of activism. Rising after our darkest days with more capacity for love, compassion, and awareness, rather than the opposites is incredibly inspiring—these are the qualities the new leaders in this world need in order to make real change.

If you tune into your pelvis and feel sadness, anger, or grief for what you have endured, if you experience numbness or pain rather than pleasure during lovemaking, please don’t let it discourage you. This is a perfect indication of the need to begin your journey to healing.

Seek out others who have successfully healed after similar experiences, learn how to process your trauma through somatic modalities, bring yourself out into nature more often, and really listen. Learn how to massage and release tension from your vagina and teach your partner how to do it for you. Learn how to use vaginal steaming and castor oil packs to break down/prevent scarring and adhesions and replenish your tissues, trust your ability to heal.

In time, you may come to see the way you birthed your baby was exactly how it was meant to be—to bring about the changes that were needed in order for you to gain a greater sense of self-actualisation.

The system may be broken, but rather than handing over your precious energy and grappling with it, can you accept your experience, recognise your desire for wholeness, and begin the process of healing? These actions direct your life force back into your beautiful body and will propel you into a different mindset.

What bigger accomplishment is there than being able to endure such a monumental experience and not only recover after the fact, but to thrive!

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Ffion Thomas  |  Contribution: 1,310

author: Ffion Thomas

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Editor: Juliana Otis