January 28, 2022

The Pandemic has me Feeling Stifled, Unfree & Depressed (but I know what I Need to Cure It). 


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Universe, listen to me. I need a break!

It has been more than two years! Two achy but healthy people rattling around in one old home during a pandemic is long enough. I feel stifled, unfree, claustrophobic, restless, annoyed, angry, frustrated, confused, depressed, numb, and tired.

I know what you’re thinking. Doesn’t she know how lucky she is? You’re right. I am lucky.

Despite all my negative feelings, I am mindful that there are beautiful human beings in our world who have had no one in their lives for at least two years. They don’t feel safe to roam about in stores or go to a place of worship, don’t know how to communicate through social media, and no one even thinks to go beyond their narcissism and call them on the phone just to say, “hello.”

I am also aware of all the millions of people who have died and all the overwhelming grief that resonates throughout the world.

I am like a rebellious toddler throwing a wild tantrum, and truthfully, I’m ashamed of my entitled attitude and behavior. Still, try to understand, Universe. Too much is too much. I need a break!

I promise when I come back from my secluded island of breathing my breath and basking in delight at all the natural beauty around me, I will appreciate what I have in my real life once again.

But first, let me go to my island of paradise and savor the mouth-watering fruits from the low-hanging trees, drink in the salty ocean air, sleep by the hypnotic sound of the water, sing joyfully with the birds, compose songs of peace and write successful novels, dance with the butterflies, and ring my Tibetan singing bowl filled with healing prayers for wellness, rebirth, safety, unity, peace, love, and hope.

I promise, Universe. Once I get this break, I will embrace my beautiful old home with that handsome man. I will recommit my body, mind, and spirit to love and appreciate him with fresh eyes, renewed passion, and gratitude.

Transport me to my island of utopia and give me a break from all this monotony. If you do this for me, I promise I’ll “be good” through the rest of this pandemic and beyond.

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