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I remember being approached by a guy in a bar in Sydney way back when I was shy.
Shy people don’t tend to talk much.
I was unable to engage in a conversation. Well, not to his standard anyway.
He ended up saying, “Well, you’re pretty boring then, aren’t you?” and walked off.
I skulled my drink and went home. I was ashamed of myself.
Growing up, I was always shy and was given that label. You know when people talk for you and say, “Oh, yeah, she’s okay; she’s just shy.”
Turns out, I didn’t need to hold onto this old belief anymore. I could choose to reframe shy.
I always felt like I had to “be” a certain way because being shy and quiet wasn’t okay.
But there is nothing worse (and more uncomfortable) than feeling like you have to pretend to be someone you are not.
I just couldn’t walk confidently into a room and approach people.
I always had to head straight to the toilet or straight to the bar for a shot. I did this a lot.
I felt insecure and embarrassed for feeling so awkward.
I used to say, “If people don’t like me, that’s their problem, and I am okay with that.”
But that was bullsh*t. I wanted everyone to like me even if I didn’t like them.
I realised I had to let go of this belief when I started giving my daughters advice—advice that I wasn’t taking for myself.
Not only that, when building my business, I thought I had to do what everyone else was doing. They were being seen on Facebook, doing live videos, and posting selfies. All of this didn’t feel right to me.
By chance, I had come across a free personality test online. It wasn’t until I read the results of that test that I finally started to feel content with who I was. It was like my shyness had a better name, and it was being validated as totally acceptable and okay.
I then came across a quote that validated even more exactly who I am and a quote I now stand by:
“I used to think I was introverted because I liked being alone. Turns out I just like to be at peace. I’m extroverted around people who bring me peace.” ~ Unknown
I now feel comfortable being me.
I now feel content with showing up how I want to show up.
If I want to sit in the corner and observe, then that’s what I’m going to do.
If I want to get drunk and put my hand up to be hypnotised on stage, that’s what I’m going to do (that’s for another story).
If I don’t have the mental energy to attend, then I’m going to stay home, not answer your call, or respond to your message right away.
I’m not always going to “fit in,” and that’s okay.
Because I am now comfortable with who I am and will attract the right people for me.