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It seems as though, oftentimes, the moment we think we’re evolved and self-aware, life throws us a curveball right to the gut to really put our groundedness to the test.
The truth is, sometimes, we think we are healed because our shadows haven’t truly been revealed until we are in a situation that exposes them. The reality is, no matter how “godly” or “woke” we think you are, there is a duality within each and every one of us. All the prayers, books, workshops, and meditations in the world do not make us immune to our own humanness, or less susceptible to reverting back to subconscious patterns.
When we’ve been wounded in our lives, especially by those we have loved the most, it can be difficult to see past our own wounds. That “trauma lens” can often dictate the quality and trajectory of our relationships, new and old. There’s a difference between acknowledging we’ve been a victim and honoring the pain we’ve been through, versus continuing to stay in a victim mindset and projecting your pain onto others.
Cycles often repeat themselves when we’re afraid to let go of our pain and we hold on to the fear of being wounded again—but it’s that very fear that causes more pain in the long run.
Deep down, we know that fear is not of the divine. It is poison to the mind and a prison for the soul.
We can’t see clearly when living in fear.
We can’t love wholeheartedly when living in fear.
We can’t live freely when living in fear.
Yes, it is a part of the human experience. But it is most certainly a deceptive sentiment derived from subconscious attachments at the core of our ego. The only way to overcome it is to not allow yourself to become it.
Healing has never been a linear journey. There isn’t always a finite point or some sort of ascension that wraps us in a super-human bubble after x amount of meditations and ceremonies. The only way to truly improve the quality of life is to surrender. Completely surrender. Not once, or twice, or 100 times, but daily.
Every morning I wake up, I need these parts of myself to die:
My old self.
My fearful self.
My superficial self.
My victim self.
My wounded self.
My egoic self.
I can’t experience true freedom, happiness, or peace until I learn to take full responsibility for my own healing and surrender to my humanness.