January 14th was the day my book came out.
Many people might think family and friends would ring you, you’d celebrate, and you would have marketing events. I had nothing. I did not celebrate—no parties were made for me or by me and no loved ones really surprised me. It was really just another day.
The only person that gave it meaning was me. I was proud of myself.
A few years later, I have not made my advance back. I have given away more books than I probably sold and I wish I could say otherwise, but that isn’t reality. I am not a bestseller and I have not made money that I can put away for my daughter’s future on this book. I have not become suddenly Instagram worthy for a blue tick. I have not had brands or companies want to sponsor me. I am simply the same girl but in a better place mentally.
For me, I don’t need to mark it with a big celebration like social media pushes us. I only need to mark it with this breath I am taking. Why? Because a few years ago, I didn’t even want this breath. So, isn’t that an accomplishment?
I want this breath and am grateful for it now. Even though so many think my life has changed by financial means or status because of my book, it hasn’t, in reality. I am still the same Tassie, goofy girl who goes red-faced. I am still that ordinary girl walking side by side with everyone else.
As you scroll through my posts on social media, you will see many versions of me from little to now and how she has evolved through these photos physically, but you won’t see the most important changes, mentally. You also won’t see the depression, the mental and physical abuse endured, the financial struggles, the baby loss, or my suicide attempt.
In all posts I shared of me on social media, there is something hiding behind what we all think is a perfect person. The struggles exist if we see it or not. I have realised and I hope this is what my book will help remind you all of.
Happiness is never about a degree or a job or someone else’s love for us. It is never about the clothes we wear or the scars we have. It is never about following in the footsteps of someone, society, changing our bodies, or some 30-day program. It is also never about being liked by others.
Happiness is always about discovery, hope, and listening to our hearts and souls. It has always been about being kinder to ourselves and it is always about embracing the person we are now and the person we are becoming.
One day, I hope you will all understand that happiness is not a 24/7 good life. It is always about learning how to live with ourselves, the challenges we face, and realising that happiness is never in the hands of others. It was about you. It was always about you.
Namaste, and gratitude to you all.
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