And now I realize I was nothing to them,
only a weapon of beauty and grace
used to harm eachother,
fueling envy and wronged intention
making each wound deeper,uglier
I’m often desired by those who intend on changing me, but not in the way of an inspired transformation,
neglecting A glorified growth,
only feeding their own benefit
soaking in the sunlight till its invisible by the clouds return
where i remain to square one with only my troubling emotions

ive alway sbeen intriqued by the stranger things,
mezmirized by brighter colors
while lately yearning to explore the deepeness of the darker shades of our light,
listening to a different voice, then my repetitive promises that melts the ground around me
so i lose my balance focus and motivation
loosen my strength, and lose grasp of who i am and who i want to be
and i had tragically fallen down into a lost causse
creating a new definition for lost
hopeless, and oficially taken my blessing of flife for granted
and forgot my purpose is more than myself.
and my destructive behavior impacts the beautiful souls that have shaped the strong parts of me
only to understand another point of view other then my own
to be lost can be a positive thing
as long as you can follow it up with being found
otherwise we can become meaningless
waiting for a fantasy to save us instead of saving the salvageable pieces that remains
ive been resting the loud parts of my chaos,
spirtually cleansing my ears canal,
and watching the drops of miracles around me rebuild the home of my body mind and heart to the value it could be,
other then the undervalued critism ive given my old me,
selfish and insecure
ive blossomed to confident and certain of my future
i am happy today
healthy,
hopeful