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Many people’s imaginations go wild when they see someone doing yoga.
It can often be misappropriated in the world of social media and, being that we are visual creatures by nature.
However, it has raised this common question: does yoga make for better sex?
Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things…anyone remember that song?
The truth is, yoga can create better sex but not in the way the world thinks; it is on a much deeper level than people think. Everything is connected.
A fancy yoga pose may create fun but the truth is, great sex is about creating a great connection to yourself and the person you are with.
Yoga is a great example of how we can look at self-care and how self-care is what truly creates better sex. And that is what yoga is about: self-care. So, yes, it does link to better sex—when practiced mindfully.
Yoga is a form of self-care that helps us to work with our inner world, our inner voice, and gives us a position to feel connected to ourselves, get to know ourselves, and feel beautiful in our own skin whilst enjoying our own company and being more compassionate and realistic with ourselves.
Yoga, to me, is powerful because not only does it help with mental health, it helps us to learn about our likes and dislikes and it helps us build strength, flexibility, mobility, and fitness. It also helps us to learn what turns us on and off in life. It teaches us the balance between repression and excess.
You see, knowing what turns you on is a question people automatically think is sexual, but being turned on in everyday life is what brings our lives more joy and happiness and helps us to live a full, passionate life. And to know what turns us on in life can help us build tools to manage our mental health and find routines of self-care.
Here are some great examples of self-care:
>> Going for a walk
>> Enjoying the sunrise
>> Making a good cup of tea
>> Reading a book
>> Listening to music.
By doing these activities, we get out of our heads and connect to our bodies. In turn, we connect to our sensuality and we turn ourselves on. The orgasm is not the goal in sex. As well, the destination is not the goal in life. It is all about the journey, energising ourselves, staying focused, and being embodied.
One thing I love to do is turn on some music and just start dancing. I let the moves flow and my thoughts slip away into the abyss of life, so I can remember what joy feels like when I am stressed and get out of my head and into my body.
So how does this connect to good sex and yoga?
By doing self-care, we learn that sensuality is healing and can be done without sexuality being involved. It helps us to tune into our bodies, which is what we need when we are intimate with ourselves or another or to enjoy life on a day-to-day basis when we do any activity.
Have you ever had one of those stressful days or weeks and sex just isn’t on the cards because you cannot feel it or get out of your head? It most likely has nothing to do with your partner or those around you and it most likely has everything to do with you not being able to turn yourself on.
Sex has never been about another’s looks or your looks or what fancy moves you can pull. It’s about who we are, our self-care practices, being present, and knowing ourselves. The most powerful thing about sex is that it comes from within to turn ourselves on—we are the drivers.
The reason so many people have trouble having good sex is they are not present within themselves, they have too many worries or thoughts, or they do not know themselves.
The best way we can improve our sex lives is to get to know ourselves. What makes you feel good? What calms your thoughts? What do you like? What don’t you like? What connects you to the moment? What connect you to your partner?
For me, one of the greatest ways to learn about myself and do self-care is to create sensual experiences like:
>> Having a bubble bath with essential oils. Feeling the water. Smelling the oil. Meditating.
>> Going outside and looking around at the beauty of nature. Feeling the breeze in my hair, the sunlight on my skin. Looking at the trees. Smelling the air. Listening to the birds sing.
>> Having a massage or learning how to touch myself to soothe myself. Not sexually, but in a way that stimulates the nervous system to get out of the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) and more into the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest). You could even do this with foam rollers and self-massage tools as a recovery session.
To create good sex, we need to learn to create a friendship with ourselves and our bodies, make peace with who we are, enjoy who we are, and know what we love. When we have a good relationship with ourselves, we can have a good relationship with anything we do—including sex.
So, the long answer is yoga can improve our sex lives by helping us build a self-care routine and get to know ourselves—it’s not about the fancy postures directly.
If yoga and good looks were what made good sex, every yogi would be having good sex and no relationship problems.
Good sex is about a pleasurable, sensual connection. It can be built through yoga or other self-care rituals. It helps us to remember that life has value and spark on the days when the going gets tough or pain overwhelms us and we are in strugglesville.
At the end of the day, if we want a good life, a good yoga practice, a good relationship, or good sex, they all require us to connect better to our bodies through our senses and sensuality first (without sexuality) so we can learn about ourselves.
And from these beautiful foundations, magic grows—as does our sex life.
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