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September 21, 2022

At Age 35, I Discovered who my Biological Father Is (& 4 Lessons I Learned in the Process).

 

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This year, more precisely in January, I found out who my biological father is. Unexpectedly.

This was extremely enlightening. Freeing. Life-altering.

I always felt something was left unsaid in my own history. In fact, silence can be so much heavier than truth and the energy of “secrets” can always be felt.

I’m now profoundly glad, joyous, that I found the truth and brought light to a half of me. It may be seen as “normal” to know from birth who your parents are, so it’s hard to explain what it feels like to discover at age 35 who your biological father is. It is like rebirthing a part of you. It is like knowing more of who you are.

I feel that I always asked for a clear “revelation” about my paternal line over the years. I called that in. But for some reason, this never took place before. Maybe, I wasn’t ready.

From a young age, I was always drawn to Judaism, the Jewish community. Its tribe.

It had been for years that I was secretly and intuitively drawn to this culture, for no evident or rational reasons. Indeed, there was no physical proof ever of having any actual connection to a Jewish line.

Last January, I decided to do a DNA test.

I thought that I was just doing this for fun, like many of my friends. I wasn’t deliberately searching for an answer. But deep down, I’m sure that my spirit was ready to unearth the truth and found this way. I, therefore, discovered at that time that I’m half Aschenazi Jewish, genetically—as an ethnicity.

In fact, there being “Jewish” isn’t seen as a religion, or a spiritual belonging—rather it is experienced as a lineage, a genealogy-ethnicity. They can trace Aschkenazi and Sepharadi lines easily—as these were almost constantly endogamous in time, over the years and centuries, and until recently. 

That morning of January, I remember opening the results maybe 20 times, as if I needed to see this over and over to make sure the miracle of revelation of my paternal line was actually happening. That I wasn’t dreaming.

This was one of the most powerful mornings of my life. Deep down, I wasn’t surprised at all to make this discovery—instead, I felt all of this was the confirmation of something I always knew. It was now proven that my intuition from all these years was right.

But that’s not all. The second gift was even of more significance. Through more in-depth research, I got to discover…reveal…with zero percent doubt, who my biological father is.

The joy became even bigger. He was a man of stature, intelligence, and light. A man of knowledge, of writings, and of songs. Also, they said—of elegance and personal power. He was solar and energetic—and astrologically too, he was a Leo.

Sadly, he is already gone in the ethers. Yet I’m learning so much about him, his family history, that I believe he is living a second life.

There is a Mexican proverb saying that one’s first death is when discovering they aren’t immortal. Their second one is their actual physical death. Their third and last is when their name stops being spoken out. Well, there will be quite some time before he dies a third time.

When I first visited his spirit at the cemetery, his soul felt joyful, relieved. I heard he was truly glad too that I eventually found out, and got there, to meet him somehow. I felt that perhaps, he too had been calling me from the other side. Guiding my way back. So many synchronicities have been on my path—maybe they were omens or clues, sent by his energy, so that we find each other.

When one grows up with key information missing, one could say this is like having a big large book in your room, constantly there—but written in a lost language, not intelligible. One knows the book exists—it’s not because it can’t be read that its energy vanishes. It’s the opposite. What’s unsaid, actually grows taller in its energy. So you know the book can’t be moved, yet you never can read it.

I felt, at last, the right words, the right names were revealed. Eventually, the book could be opened, read, and discovered for real. The energy of silence could at last start decreasing.

So, here is what I want to tell you through this post:

One, please never lose hope. If you keep sending signals to the Universe and taking baby actions toward a vision, or the resolution of a big thing in your life—ultimately, I believe this will work. You will be rewarded. You are heard. Eventually, may you not lose hope—the light always seeks to prevail.

Also, trust your intuition. Trust yourself. For years I “knew,” in my belly, that I was from a Jewish lineage. I just knew. From my trips to Israel, to two exes, to my profound interests or even way of thinking, I just knew. Well, your inner knowing is everything.

Your inner knowing is your inner flame. As long as it keeps burning, even if you have no evidence, no rationale, no justification of something to the rest of the world—this is where the “truth” resides and this is what you must follow. This voice is your unique soul path. 

Lastly, be happy with what you have. If your family and the way that you were conceived has weirdness and secrets, don’t see the darkness in there but the light. The light is that you were supposed to be born with this scenario—this mold. You were supposed to come from there—this genetic material, this line. There is a gift, some magic in there. The Universe wanted things to unfold in this specific way.

If you were born under circumstances that are unusual or not classical, find the beauty. There is much grace in there to be found. From the beginning, something in you, in your energy, was romanesque. Something was unconventional. And somewhere, you came here to help the world evolve to a more open-minded perspective. A less constructed vision of “the right circumstances” to grow up with or be born into.

Perhaps even, you came here to be that story. Maybe, you came here to find a way to find your story back. Maybe, your task was to hear your intuition enough to unearth the truth.

In all ways, this is what the Universe gave you. As energy to be passed on, a mission, a gift, or a task. And I believe there is always a reason why. There is always a reason why.

~

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