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October 5, 2022

Finding Truth and Love Within

I was brainwashed in a cult for seven years. It was a Tantric Buddhist Mysticism cult and it was disguised as “Personal/Professional Development,” but it was still a cult. It still ruined my life. It still sucked me in and destroyed me. And the experience of utter devastation taught me lessons I may have never learned elsewhere. The biggest lesson being this:

We all give our power away. Daily. We all are brainwashed. We are bombarded by messaging constantly that tells us we are not okay. We are bombarded by messaging that tells us we have to look younger or thinner, make more money, be a better mother/father/friend/spouse, wear better clothes, drive better cars, be sexier, more fun, whatever-it-is, you-name-it. We need more of it, or less of it. But most certainly we are not okay the way we are. Not worthy. Not lovable.

It’s bullsh*t! And it needs to stop.

We are taught to people-please when we are children. Our survival depends on pleasing the adult around us. And in our effort to fit in, we betray ourselves. Slowly, step-by-step. We hide what makes us weird. We hide what makes us feel flawed. We hide what makes us different. We apologize for it. We feel shame around it. And then we build facades. And in doing so we become soul-sick. In our effort to fit in and be loved we hide, or apologize for, or feel shame around everything about us that makes us unique. Our skin color, our sexual preferences, our innate desires, our unique skill sets. Our “deformities,” our trauma. We stuff it all down, and we put on a smile, and we blend. And then we hit adulthood or middle age and wonder why our lives feel so empty. We have a “mid-life crisis.” Everything starts to fall apart.

What if we took our power back? What if we stopped basing our self-worth on externals? What if we used the power of our mind to ignore the messaging that tells us we have to change, or hate, or be afraid? Our time here is our most precious gift. Our attention is our most important resource. That’s why media spends billions of dollars yearly vying for it. What if we stopped giving it to them? What if we turned within instead? Made our own choices? Listened to our own Inner Guidance?

Now is the time to assess: Are we in toxic relationships? Of any kind? And I am including in this category our relationship with media. Toxic relationships suck us in because we want to love and be loved. We want to feel included and accepted, seen and heard. We want to feel as if we belong. Toxic relationships keep us stuck because they train us away from our own Inner Guidance. In our effort to feel loved and safe we hand our power over to the partner, the “friend,” the guru, the “expert,” the influencer, and we defer to them. Step by step we ignore our own Inner Knowing and we do what they tell us to. We are innocent when we do this. We are loving and trusting. But, we are betraying ourselves in a very big way.

We are drawn to people who are authentic. Self-confidence and authenticity is magnetic. People who strongly go against the norm are magnetic. They are often demonized and ostracized in the beginning, but always they are admired and worshipped once they have found their way. It takes strength of character to do this. It takes strength of mind. It may even take losing “friends.” Losing “safety.” But spending our lives locked in a cage is worse. Spending each day soul-sick is worse.

It is time to start turning off the TVs and taking a break from the phone. It is time to close the computer more often. To get quiet. To listen within. Trust me, I know. Group-think can only get us when we refuse to remove ourselves from the group. We blended to not feel outcast. We betrayed ourselves to be part of the tribe. What if we voluntarily cast ourselves out?

I only survived my cult experience because I got kicked out. And it was the distance that saved me. Can we cast ourselves out? Strip off the facades? Bring back the authenticity? In a world of eight billion people we are unique. We are the only version of us there is. Don’t you think it’s that way for a reason? We can’t get others to see from our point of view or understand us because they are not us. They are seeing through their own unique lens. What if we stopped trying so hard to get others to understand us and we began to take the time to understand ourselves instead? We would be so much happier. So much kinder. So much more patient. Our lives would be filled with so much more joy because they would be lives we created based on our true essence of self. They would be lives aligned with our soul. With our Divine Purpose.

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