Selena Gomez reveals her new song ‘My Mind And Me’ was the inspiration for the title of her documentary. pic.twitter.com/5kN8J8ygDX
— Pop Base (@PopBase) November 3, 2022
I woke up this morning feeling refreshed, physically.
Mentally though? That’s another story.
I had woken up around 12:30 a.m. feeling crabby and hot and restless, but more than anything, I couldn’t calm my mind.
My thoughts were racing. One after the other.
I tried to just let them flow and label it “thinking.” I tried to focus on my breath. I tried counting backwards from 100. I tried scrolling on my phone as a way to distract myself. (I don’t recommend that last one.)
But everything I tried just left me feeling more anxious. Anxious about things that weren’t even happening in that moment. Anxious about the fact that all my attempts to calm my mind were failing.
After about two hours, my anxious thoughts became more exhausting than intrusive and I passed out.
As I got ready to start my day, a song came on my Spotify playlist that felt like it was specifically written for the night I’d had. A story written for the sometimes tumultuous relationship I have with my mind.
Selena Gomez’s latest song, “My Mind & Me,” was released this weekend, along with a documentary of the same name that finds her delving deep into her mental health struggles over the past few years.
The New York Times review calls the documentary (which is currently queued up on my “Up Next” list on Apple TV) “sincere and soul-baring” and likens watching it to “eavesdropping on a 95-minute therapy session with the artist.”
I’ve followed Selena’s career as an actress and singer for years, but it was when she became increasingly vocal about her mental health, be it body image or the stress of fame or her bipolar disorder diagnosis, that I became a true fan.
Opening up about what goes on in our minds can be terrifying. Being honest about our anxiety or intrusive thoughts or stress or depression or suicidal ideation or feelings of worthlessness or hopelessness can feel like we’re allowing people in to see a side of us that we don’t always understand—and we are left wondering if those same people will love us or judge us.
And on the particularly bad days, we have to decide if we’re going to love ourselves or judge ourselves.
There’s something about the way Selena sings the lyrics that feels like she’s not just reaching out to us but reaching out for us. As one YouTube viewer commented: “She is not just singing…she is talking to us. Let’s make her feel heard.”
“Wanna hear a part to my story? I tried to hide in the glory
And sweep it under the table so you would never know
Sometimes I feel like an accident, people look when they’re passin’ it
Never check on the passenger, they just want the free show
Yeah, I’m constantly
Tryna fight somethin’ that my eyes can’t see
My mind and me
We don’t get along sometimes
And it gets hard to breathe
But I wouldn’t change my life
And all of the crashin’ and burnin’ and breakin’, I know now
If somеbody sees me like this, then thеy won’t feel alone now”
Hear the rest of the song below:
And the next time I’m struggling to calm my mind, to not let the anxiety rule each minute, I will remind myself of a question Selena asks herself in the documentary: “How do I learn how to breathe my own breath again?”