It’s easy to say that we care.

And maybe we do. But if we take a closer look at our behaviors, we might be shocked—disgusted, actually.

When it comes to intimate relationships, caring can be complex and…tricky. We could stay on cloud nine for days then suddenly get upset about a small thing. The truth is it’s not easy for people to show their love and be available 24/7.

While some of us genuinely give a damn about our relationship, we might not always know how or when to show our affection. That is why it’s crucial to understand some of the behaviors that might sabotage our connection.

1. Having a hard time expressing our feelings. 

Not knowing how to express what we feel is absolutely normal and okay. Some of us struggle with finding the right words, especially when in distress or under pressure. What’s not okay, though, is not making the effort to learn how to effectively communicate. Not having a healthy emotional expression is due to many reasons that stemmed from our childhood. We might have grown accustomed to a lack of communication, so breaking the habit can be challenging. But if we give a damn about our partner, we need to improve our communication skills. Find out what’s blocking you from expressing your emotions freely because with time, it may lead your partner to blame, anger, resentment, depression, and feeling unseen.

2. Not having the motivation to change. 

I’ve always believed that we can’t make people change—especially their core character traits. However, I’ve also always believed in compromise. I’ve always believed in partners coming together if they want to build a healthy, long-term relationship. If and when what we’re doing or saying is hurting or annoying our partner, we need to make some changes so the relationship can prosper. We don’t change who we are; we only change habits. At the end of the day, nobody’s perfect and we all need to make a few adjustments so we can thrive together under one roof. Remember, needs that aren’t met almost always break the couple apart. That said, if we genuinely care about someone, we should take into consideration their needs and wants.

3. Refusing to accept responsibility for our actions.

Struggling to admit that we’re wrong is a common problem in intimate relationships. If you’re dealing with a partner who denies responsibility, then you might know how painful and challenging it can be to feel seen and validated. “Apologies” don’t make relationships better; it’s owning to our mistakes and learning to do better that improves relationships. So if we give a damn, we need to be responsible for our actions and words. Doing this will build trust, reliability, and security. It will bring partners closer together and strengthen their bond.

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