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February 12, 2024

6 Things to do When Things aren’t Going the Way You Want Them To.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ~ Unknown

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There will be so many phases in life when everything will feel out of control.

You won’t be able to figure out the head or tail of things and you’ll be trying your best to make sense of something!

You’ll wish for something, and something else will happen. Life will catch you off guard and throw you in the deep end and you’ll somehow have to learn to stay afloat at least.

These phases could be short-lived or could last for a really long time. They will be difficult, challenging, and exhausting. Your emotions will be all over the place and you won’t know what to do with them.

At times, you’ll want to give up everything and simply run away. At other times, you will want to simply shut down and hide. Then there will be times when you will want to trick yourself into believing that everything is alright even when the reality is far from it. You’ll also find yourself wondering “Why me!?” and there won’t be any satisfactory answer coming your way.

These are the times when we need to learn to sit back and tune in. Irrespective of what’s happening outside, the only thing we really have in control is our own self. In reality, it’s not really about what’s actually happening outside of us but what it’s creating within.

“Truth be told, you will never really know just how strong and adamant you are unless adversity strikes. Then you learn courage, you build resilience, you learn to persevere, you build character.” ~ T. Whitmore

No matter how unpleasant, challenging, or difficult things may be, whatever is needed to deal with them is within us and until and unless we’re able to tune in and figure that out, we won’t be able to change anything.

During such confusing, challenging, and tumultuous times, it’s important to:

1. Figure out where and how to use your energy

When there’s too much coming our way, we tend to lose the plot. Everything seems urgent and important at the same time. However, not everything needs your time and attention at every minute. Sometimes, you need to de-prioritise certain things and people so that you can focus on the more important ones.

2. Filter out who has access to you and when

You don’t need to be available to everyone for everything. Stop engaging with people and activities that aren’t important at the moment and are draining you.

3. Cope wisely

It’s easy to get lost in habits that give temporary relief but cost you your long-term comfort. Ask yourself if the way you’re handling yourself and situations is working for you or not, and if not, then switch to a more constructive alternative.

4. Meet your needs

Take care of yourself and address your needs so that you have enough fuel in you to carry on.

5. Ask for help and support

Because you can’t do everything on your own!

6. Be kind to yourself

After all, you are going through something difficult. You need to have your own back more than ever.

We all tend to get frazzled when life starts coming from all directions and that’s only human.

We get flustered, confused, and lost especially when dealing with the uncontrollables. But the fact is that in life we will always be grappling with things that we will have to accept and can’t change. Then, it’s only about managing them to the best of our ability. At the same time, there will also be things that we can change and we need to work toward those. But when we don’t do either of these things, we subject ourselves to a great deal of distress.

Life won’t stop coming. No matter how hard we try or how much we plan, some things will go off track. The only thing we can do is to tune in, focus on what is really in our control, and loosen the grip on what we can’t control or change and keep walking.

That’s how we build resilience. That’s how we grow, and that’s all that there is to life.

“Resiliency is something you do, more than than something you have. You become resilient by continuously learning your best way of being yourself in your circumstance.” ~ Al Siebert

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