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If neither of us have a voice, the answer is no.

When I found my last partner, I thought we were destined for marriage and a forever love. What I didn’t realize was we were both stuck. We were stuck in what we believed and wanted the other person to be. We were both stuck in egos that didn’t serve us and weren’t who or what we truly were inside. I say we, because every relationship is two-sided; it’s a dance and it’s a mirror.

We were living from fear, caught up in our traumas and walls from our youth—basically refusing to grow up and listen to each other with care and humility.

Allowing each other to stand in their power, be triggered, become vulnerable, open our hearts, and listen to one another would enable our souls to guide us, to heal, and to grow.

When we have found that place to open our hearts in the past, detach from expectations, become loving, abandon egos, and practice humility with one another, our relationship and communication was always a breeze. The time spent together has always been meaningful and memorable. How do we stay in that place, though?

Practicing presence, every day. Practicing patience, every day. Practicing nonviolent communication in a loving and calm way, every day. Practice gratitude, every single day! Accepting who my partner is and not expecting them to be anything other than who they are. Finding unconditional love for myself and them can help me hold zero expectations.

I’ve found over the last few years that I wasn’t listening to my partner; I wasn’t even listening to myself. My soul was lost in the depths of a facade I had created to protect myself from losing control and getting hurt. I wasn’t even speaking and sharing about me; I didn’t know how to convey my needs. We were both holding expectations of one another and there was a breakdown of communication. My soul was screaming, and my partner was too, as her frustration built.

I feel we attracted each other into our lives to face our fears, insecurities, and unresolved conflicts inside ourselves. We also attracted each other for all our good qualities. The ones we treasure about each other still, it’s important to never lose sight of these. The fears and insecurities, however, make the world seem dark and gloomy. Especially when we’re so focused on what everything can be and not focused on what everything is, we get lost again and have zero gratitude or space for each other to find that humility and the love to meet on the level to hear one another clearly and compassionately.

So much of this ties into self-respect, which in turn would allow me to show respect for my partner. Space is needed for both of us and time to process everything between us and even around us. The respect to give the space, to allow each other to stand in their power, be in the divine feminine and masculine, become vulnerable, and the strength to forgive while letting go of fear, ego, and insecurity.

I see where this journey is headed; it’s one of the most difficult journeys to make in life. As we are on separate treks, each path meanders. Sometimes the trail darts in opposite directions, sometimes they are side by side, and when everything aligns, they become one. If I listen, if my partner listens, we will be able to hear our souls and find the love inside each other to help guide us. Wherever those paths lead, it will be a beautiful voyage and the growth will be endless.

It’s time to listen.

~

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