There are so many words to convey the meaning of a person you’ll spend the rest of your life with: soulmate, other half, better half, twin flame, the one, significant other, husband, wife, partner, lover, spouse.
And as a love coach, people always assume that I’m married. They are mistaken—and at times, I simply politely ignore their incorrect assumption.
But sometimes, I correct the offending party and let him or her know that “we’re not married.” To which they immediately look embarrassed, then shocked, and then ultimately, confused.
And the unspoken question hangs in the air: “How are you a love coach if you’re not married?”
Or more accurately, I’m sure they are thinking: “How are you a good love coach if you’re not married?”
It’s a valid question, but it’s also a bit insulting. It assumes that I believe in a certain type of relationship and a certain stereotype of what finding true love means.
Perhaps I am gay.
Perhaps my spouse passed away.
Perhaps my religion forbids marriage to someone outside of my religion.
Perhaps I don’t believe in marriage.
Perhaps the last statement above is much closer to the truth than the other three.
You see, regardless of the fact that I’m a love coach, I don’t necessarily believe in marriage. I don’t believe that anything in life is certain. I don’t believe that soulmates equal forever. I think “the one” can be the one for a while. But there’s no guarantee that he’ll equal forever.
And I know that plenty of other love coaches will declare otherwise. They’ll tell you that you can find your twin flame, and you’ll spend the rest of your life with him or her, and you’ll enjoy “happily ever after.”
That’s not what I teach. And that’s not what I believe.
I love my man dearly, but there has never been an ounce of my being that believes that I’ll be with him forever. I’m not that naive. The only constant in life is change. My soulmate might be by my side for the rest of my life, or he might be by my side for the better part of a decade. Or, we might end it tomorrow.
I don’t think that I’m being cynical. Or that I’m blocking myself off from love. Or that I’ve got issues. I think I’m simply being practical.
I teach my clients to raise their vibration and attract in an amazing, high-quality partner who is a match for their new vibration. But who they are attracting is a match for who they are at this point and time. Might that change? Might the two partners grow at different speeds and at one point decide that it’s simply not working out anymore, regardless of how much love and respect they share for one another?
If I’m offending you, I don’t apologize. This is the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
I’ve always been on the trajectory of extreme personal growth. And many times in my life, I’ve simply outgrown those around me. And there’s a chance this could happen with my partner.
And why would I go through the effort of marrying someone and making the vows of ’til death do us part, if I don’t believe that it’s true?
Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not knocking the institution of marriage. And for many, marriage is the right choice. If you believe in marriage, and you are willing to commit to a person and growing together (and fighting together), and ultimately staying together for the rest of your lives, then please, by all means, tie the knot.
But if you’re the 50 percnt of the population that seems to think that marriage is something that is as easily tossed away as yesterday’s newspaper, I ask you to consider a bit more what promises you’re making…and why you’re not keeping your promises.
I won’t make a promise that I am not 100 percent certain I’ll keep.
And I don’t think it’s healthy to stay with someone once you’ve outgrown the relationship and it’s no longer serving the betterment of both parties.
And I’m also not a fortuneteller who can predict the future.
Do I love my partner as much as I possibly can? You bet yer sweet ass I do!
Will I be with my partner for the rest of my life? It’s a possibility.
Am I always looking to become a better person and go deeper into my personal growth and what lights my heart and soul on fire and to serve in a greater capacity on this planet? Heavens, yes!
And that’s the only thing I know for certain in my life…I think.
Author: Emyrald Sinclaire
Image: courtesy of author
Editor: Yoli Ramazzina