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My Father: Starting Yoga at 87.
I thought long and hard before publishing this article.
My 90-year old father recently entered hospice care and only has a few months to live.
I hesitated because everyone has sad family situations like this, and I knew I wanted to write about it partly just to deal with the painful anticipation of losing the father I love so much.
Ultimately, I was able to justify it by reminding myself of the Yoga connection, and by reprinting an article about my father that appeared on the Sunday front page of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel two years ago. I figured if Milwaukee’s daily newspaper thought it was interesting enough for its front page, I shouldn’t hesitate to think it might be interesting to Elephant Journal readers, too.
The photo above shows the Yoga connection. My Dad took up Yoga for the first time when he was 87. He saw me doing it, and wanted to do it himself. So I showed him few things, gave him a copy of “Yoga Made Easy” by Howard Kent…and soon enough it became part of his regular routine (along with his weight-lifting and exercise machines.)
Below is the article from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, which captures this wonderful man who is my father pretty perfectly, I would say. (Gee, I wonder who I owe my joie de vivre to.)
I hope you enjoy reading it.
Scooter helps senior stay in the driver’s seat
88-year-old finds that giving up his car doesn’t mean giving up his independence
by Bill Glauber
Joe Weisenberg needed a new set of wheels.
He was 88, and his grown kids wouldn’t let him buy another car — his reaction time had slowed, they said.
But the former Navy pilot wanted to be mobile, to have fun, to cruise Milwaukee’s byways like a teen in a ragtop.
So, he and his son started a search for another vehicle. A motorized three-wheel bicycle was too complicated. A moped was out of the question. But one day in August, father and son walked into a store and saw the perfect set of wheels — an electric, four-wheel mobility vehicle with comfy swivel seat, rearview mirror, turn signals and horn.
They bought it used for $1,200, and Weisenberg climbed aboard.
Now, it’s hard to get him off the vehicle or off the sidewalks. Weisenberg doesn’t just go for spins in the neighborhood from his home at St. John’s on the Lake retirement community on Milwaukee’s east side.
He takes full-fledged daytrips, at 5.75 mph, up to his son’s house in Fox Point or down to the Basilica of St. Josaphat on the south side, extended treks by the lakefront or long days of window-shopping downtown.
“I wouldn’t trade my scooter for a car,” Weisenberg said.
The story of Weisenberg and his mobility vehicle is a small tale of modern life in aging America. Just because a senior gives up his car keys doesn’t mean he has to give up his independence.
But it takes a lot of work and planning.
Some seniors who decide it’s no longer safe to get behind the wheel of a car might take a seat on a bus. Others might get rides from friends and family or take cabs.
But for Weisenberg, the mobility vehicle works just fine, the best of both worlds.
He still enjoys a good walk around the neighborhood, but the man can really drive. He can artfully turn the vehicle in his apartment, zip down hallways and roar down the sidewalks.
“He’s going to create his own senior Hells Angels group,” said his son, Bob Weisenberg, 58.
How father and son negotiated the switch from a car to a scooter is the stuff of family drama. They hashed it out over nearly two years.
“I loved cars, I always had cars,” Joe Weisenberg said. “And I loved driving.”
But after Joe Weisenberg’s second wife died in January 2006, his son had that talk that most every grown child secretly dreads — the one where they try to convince a parent that it’s time to give up the car keys.
“No one told me I couldn’t drive . . . just Bob,” Joe Weisenberg said.
But the father listened to the son. He sold his Chrysler convertible before moving from a retirement home in Pennsylvania to spend a year living with his daughter in San Diego. Living in the suburbs, he felt isolated without a car. But he did his best to keep his independence, walking, getting rides. But he couldn’t bring himself to take a cab, it felt so extravagant.
In March, Joe Weisenberg moved to Milwaukee. And he started lobbying for wheels.
“Dad was talking about buying a motor scooter,” Bob Weisenberg said. “Every time he saw a Vespa he’d say, ‘I’m getting one of those.’ After a while I thought he might be serious, so I started some research.”
Father and son made the rounds and found the perfect vehicle.
What advice does Bob Weisenberg have for other grown children faced with the dilemma of coaxing their parents into giving up driving because their skills have diminished?
“You have to make the decision and stick with it,” he said. “If I were doing it again, I would try a lot harder earlier to find an alternative.”
It might be getting colder, but Joe Weisenberg still makes his daily treks, exploring a city he has come to love. He has places to go and people to see.
“The question is: What do I do when it starts snowing?” Joe Weisenberg said.
Copyright 2007, Journal Sentinel Inc. All rights reserved.
Via Bob Weisenberg http://YogaDemystified.com
That was a great article, Bob. It can't have been an easy conversation to have but sometimes those are the ones who really define who is on our team. Happy holidays to you and your unstoppable family.
Thanks, Amy. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Starting yoga at 87. Love it. Tell your father BRAVO! I am so glad you posted that top photo. It embodies the spirit of yoga. There is no age limit. I am thinking about you during the difficult time nonetheless. All the best Bob! Thanks for a great write-up!
Thank you, Farnoosh.
that's awesome! that is what yoga is truly about.
Thanks, Linda. I agree.
It's never too late to start yoga! I admire your Dad's good grace in accepting the changes in his lifestyle necessitated by aging. And I love the photo of you two doing yoga together. Thanks for sharing your Dad's story with us EJ readers, Bob!
Awesome article, Bob!
~ Suzi
Thanks, CinnamonZen. Glad you enjoyed it.
(Comment from gdr23 at Yoga Journal Community)
Any age is a great age for starting yoga! I have a 90 year old man in my class who has been doing yoga now for @ 4-5 years! He is my most faithful student, rarely misses a class! It is all about the attitude!
Thanks for the post, Bob.
I love this line: "No one told me I couldn’t drive . . . just Bob"
What?! Bob's not "someone."
More seriously, I think it underlines what's so difficult about this sort of thing: 'no one', meaning no one with real authority, will tell you it's not safe to drive. Just your kids. And we can all only hope we have kids like you.
Thanks, ndsmith. I really appreciate your thoughts.
I think your Dad is a pistol. Love the photos – they speak so eloquently. Thanks for sharing this journey with us. It encourages us to live our very best and to love with all our hearts.
Thanks, Donna. Yes, he is a pistol, Curious Joe.
He has a 15 month old great grandson (my grandson) who is already exhibiting the same traits!
Hi Bob – I am a photographer in Denver and have devoted the past year to a project called "My Life", taking the last portrait of people in hospice care, terminally ill or advanced in age. The project is designed to bring social awareness to the issue of end of life care, and a first cut slideshow of the images can be viewed at http://lucia.zenfolio.com/mylife/slideshow – and was also featured as my story on http://www.photoinduced.com/4159/lucia-de-giovann...
I would love to include your father if he would like to, he is lively and lovely…
Please let me know, lucia@luciadegiovanni.com
In Peace and Light.
Lucia De Giovanni
Hi, Lucia. I sent you an e-mail from your website.
Bob, pull your torso straight up over your hips in warrior II. You are leaning over your forward knee too much…Only messing with you. Beautiful post!
Yoga Dawg. I was wondering about the wisdom of putting my warrior out there for all the expert Yoga teachers in the world to adjust!
Kudos to you Bob! We need to get your dad on national TV and let everyone know that it is never too late to start yoga.
A wonderful story Bob, Your dad has been an inspiration to the human spirit – persevere and have fun!
My thoughts are with you as you take the final class together, here in earth school. May your time together be one of serene presence and grace. blessings to you both, Karin
Mom sent me this article when it was first published and I reread it today. I love the story and I know grandpa was blessed to have the children he did!! I am thinking about you and everyone on this day!! Love to all, Uncle Bob!!
Love, Megan
Bob – thank you so much for sharing your story about your dad – as you know, Uncle Joe was an extraordinary man – he always had such an intense sense of curiousity about everything. He appreciated and was open to all that life had to offer. I love that he shared many magical moments with anyone he met. We will miss him. Much love to all of you – Suzie, Brent and Mom
Joe passed away peacefully last Sunday morning, Jan 3rd.
Thank you all for your thoughts and good wishes.
Bob Weisenberg
I'm so sorry to hear about your father, Bob… it looks like you posted this article just in time. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story…
Thank you, roseanne.
what a fantastic story. I LOVE seeing you and your dad practicing yoga. I also understand about the scooter- my grandpere had one and was SO PROUD of his scooter. he never had a drivers license in his life, but that scooter gave him such independence. He passed away two years ago.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Much Light and Love to you and yours.
Thanks, Lisa. It always surprised me that there weren't more senior scooter excusionists out there. My Dad hardly ever ran into anyone else. It made me realize how unusual his sense of adventure was. He was happiest when he was lost and had to find his way back, which, happily, he always did.
So sorry to hear of your loss Bob. My thoughts and prayers are with you. May your heart and mind be filled with your most favorite memories of your times together…
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, though it sounds like you had some quality time with him in his final years. My thoughts are with you.
By the way, is that you in the Hard Rock t-shirt?
For some reason I've always pictured you with a beard…
Just happened to see this, Jay. Yes, that's me. Never had much more than a vacation beard before.
I am grateful that I belatedly found this, Bob. It resonates on many levels, from senior mobility (an issue that will affect us all), to yoga's benefits at any age, to your father's admirable zest for life. That photos is priceless, seriously. While I am sorry to hear that your father is gone, I am heartened to know that you bonded in his last three years. Thank you for sharing your story.
Great post Bob. I have been struggling with independence for health reasons over the past year (I'm 44) so I can really relate to that feeling of loss when one can't drive or get out in the way they did before. What a great solution you found for your Dad. I'm sorry to read that your Dad is in Hospice now. I guess every good ride has to come to an end.
blessings,
Laura
Dear Bob, thank you for posting that aritcle and the lovely photos, my heart goes out to you. My Dad turned 90 this year as well and I feel isnt long for this world either, only wish he had started Yoga at 87 !! His brother, my Uncle Mohr, on the other hand is still living life full throttle at 96 – he celebrated his 96th birthday by doing the highest bungee jump in the world !! When asked the secret of his longevity he replied " Life is just too damn interesting to die " , amazing folk
Blessings
Love that quote, Shirley. 96. Wow. I actually was not well prepared for my Dad's passing because his father lived to 101 and I always assumed he would, too.
Thanks for writing.
Bob