5 Yoga Tips for Better Sex.

Via on Dec 29, 2010

Ladies, feeling like you want to stoke the sensual fire?

Since the advent of Viagra, pharmaceutical companies have been on the hunt for an equivalent “solution” to female “sexual dysfunctions.” I’m putting those terms in quotation marks because they deserve to be treated critically. I’m opposed to pill-popping and the idea that women’s sexual responses can be analyzed and then labeled—with men’s as the benchmark.

A recent article in Psychology Today suggested that what influences women’s sexual responses is, surprise, more complex than what influences men’s. The article went on to report that for most women some of the biggest barriers to a satisfying sex life are:
- The inability to be present. Women are tending to worry about the kids, wonder if the dog’s been fed, and what the neighbours might think if they overhear.
- Insecurities. Men are thinking “Damn, this feels good.” Women: “I need to switch positions, this one doesn’t flatter me at all.”

It got me thinking about how yoga practices can help.

Here’s 5 practices that came to me to share:

1. Mindfulness. In any moment, we can practice mindfulness: simply staying present and aware of what is is going on in any particular moment, and consciously dropping out of thoughts that take us away from that moment, no matter what they are. Yoga philosophy advocates this, and practicing yoga asanas enables us to practice this. But you don’t have to be a yogi to try it. Mindfulness can be practiced anywhere, anytime, off a yoga mat.
Bed bonus: Strengthening our mindfulness muscle off the mat means it’ll work better for us in bed–when we want to remain fully present, rather than distracted.

2. Body love. Learning to consciously appreciate all the ways our body serves us–feet that carry us, legs that hold us, arms that reach for our dreams–helps us begin to drop out of the mind-chatter that critiques our looks, especially compared to what’s considered “sexy” in popular culture. People who practice asana often feel this appreciation for their bodies, as they grow stronger and more physically able, through loving-kindness, and more able to drop out of self-criticism through mindfulness. Anybody can practice these techniques, off a yoga mat. One way might be to simply spend some time checking out your body; use your hands to explore your arms or legs and other areas, consciously and with loving-kindness dropping out of negative self-talk when it arises.
Bed bonus: Practicing body appreciation out of bed helps us to stay out of body-criticism during sex.

3. Feeling what is. Then we can take this mindful, loving-kindness practice into our experience of sexual sensations, staying mindful and non-judgemental of what we’re feeling.
Bed bonus: This one’s obvious. If we’re more aware of the pleasurable sensations we’re feeling, and not judgemental of them, we’re more likely to enjoy them.

4. Body lust.Research shows that women’s sense of themeselves as sexual beings comes mainly from one source: themselves. It makes sense then that combining the above practice with a sexualized version of the body love and appreciation practice would help us women better enjoy sex. In other words, practicing being mindful of our body’s sexual responses and our body as a sexual vessel–all through loving-kindness–helps us learn to see and love our sexual selves.

5. Brahmacharya. When I was doing teacher training my teacher, Gloria Latham, summed up the modern yogi’s take on brahmacharya, or celibacy, this way: When you’re having sex, have sex. When you’re not, don’t. In other words, be present and mindful during sex–make it meaningful. And when you’re not having sex, don’t fantasize about it. In anticipation of the critiques I might get on this post, as far as I can tell, teachers of Tantra practices including Kundalini yoga–including me–don’t advocate celibacy, but rather see mindful, conscious sex as a way to tune into and experience Kundalini energy.

For more on this, including Yoga Masters’ Mark Whitwell and Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa’s take on it, read Opening + Closing: Experiments with Pleasure and Pain.

Namaste,

Lindsey

About Lindsey Lewis

I’m a yoga teacher, life coach in-training, retreat host, business woman, and entrepreneur. I write, I paint, I draw, I dance. I get outside every day. I challenge myself. I meditate. Riding my cruiser bike along the seawall rocks my world. Being of service is essential. I’m committed to helping the world find their freedom. I believe in love. I believe in the human capacity to evolve, to grow, and to make the world a better place—even if it’s simply through our re-vitalized presence. Let's connect! I'm at Libre Living. Twitter http://twitter.com/lindsey_lewis and Facebook www.facebook.com/lindseyonline. Also, Libre Retreats on Twitter @libreretreats

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19 Responses to “5 Yoga Tips for Better Sex.”

  1. Tamara says:

    Great article Lindsey! Love the Bed Bonus comparisons!!

  2. Benjamin Riggs BenRiggs says:

    I particularly like the 5th suggestion, Brahmacharya. If sex is to be meaningful then we have to be present. It is obvious that sex is more than an activity when all those involved are actually involved! Great article!

  3. [...] Makes Everything Better, Including Sex – If sex toys aren’t your bag, try these yoga tips for better sex. Mind over, er, dildos? (Elephant [...]

  4. Joe Mohr says:

    Nicely done, Lindsey. This article is relevant for yogis and non-yogis alike!

  5. Lynn Hasselberger Lynn Hasselberger says:

    Appreciate this post, Lindsey. Especially like #3–Feeling what is. How easy it is to judge what you're feeling. And, of course, overall mindfulness. Easy to start thinking about what's not getting done while you're … doing. Cheers!

  6. [...] The aforementioned article, references men being attracted to yoga as it purports to have wonderful benefits for their sex drive. Fair enough, likely and quite possibly [...]

  7. [...] Telling others that you’re a yoga teacher seems akin to telling them that you’re great in bed. While that doesn’t sound like a bad assumption, it’s really not the first thing I want people [...]

  8. Joe Sparks says:

    Most of our existing cultures treat nearly all closeness between genders as being available only through sex, rather than through deep emotional connection, through intelligence, through camaraderie, and through

    fun. In these patterned cultures, there is a contaminated confusion between closeness and sex, and many men have been left with a rigid attitude that “closeness is avaiable only through sex.” This channels the need for human contact and connection into what comes to feel like a need for sex in order to have closeness. This approach usually leads to a backlog of desperate lonliness, a frozen preoccupation with sex, and lives dominated by sexual compulsions and inhibitions.

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  11. Julian Walker yogijulian says:

    nice one – but OH! there's so much more…. :)

  12. [...] in, I believe I’ve done my job. If this encourages them to enjoy a more active and exciting sex life, I couldn’t be happier for the fireworks that yoga brings into their bedrooms or kitchens or the [...]

  13. [...] over our sexual desires and outputs is necessary for a strong and clear minded yoga practice. Bramacharya has been interpreted as total abstinence, or as sexual activities for the “homemaker” (It is [...]

  14. [...] time, I practiced. I read sex tips. I learned tricks. I withheld my feelings. I never, ever told anyone how I felt about them. I still [...]

  15. Julie says:

    love this post. it is dead on.

  16. Aimee says:

    Good, one Lindsey! Thanks for posting!

  17. scoochdaily says:

    Lindsey, Great post! Hits home on every point – I like the bonus features!

    Licia Morelli

  18. Widyanti says:

    wow…great post…now I know why I also feel it so great in this couple of months…thanx to Yoga…

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