The 10 things you’ll do once you start yoga (that have nothing to do with yoga). ~ Lee Anne Finfinger

Via Lee Anne Finfingeron Oct 6, 2011

Bonus! Best yoga video you’ve seen for a long time.

The 10 things you’ll do once you start yoga (that have nothing to do with yoga).

  1. At least once, you will force yourself to try to be vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, gluten-free (insert any over-zealous diet here)/drink Kombucha/buy bottled water before class and pour it into your sustainable water bottle before the teacher/students/Whole Foods cashier next to you sees.  (If you’re craving meat, just eat it! On your deathbed, will you really be glad that you didn’t have that steak on your 30th Birthday?)
  2. Your iPod will now include a heavy serving of Kirtan music that you will listen to on your very long commute to your yoga studio. (It’s cool; if you want to listen to Kirtan occasionally, go for it!  When you start listening to it while driving and falling asleep—time to go back to your old playlists. Do not switch over to NPR!)
  3. You will pretend not to notice that your ass now fits in a size six instead of an eight, but you’re secretly thrilled.  (When you get down to a four though, watch it. People will talk.)
  4. You will go back to your natural hair color/remove your hair extensions/cut your hair short in an attempt to stop paying so much attention to your vanity. (Try not to cut it too short—the growing out process is a bitch and then you’ll just need more hair extensions. I did.)
  5. You’ll attempt to read the Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita, or the Upanishads while your stack of fashion magazines calls to you from the next room. (Really, why can’t I like Rachel Zoe and yoga? Now that I’m thin enough to actually wear her clothes, why should I pretend I don’t want to?) (See #3.)
  6. You will take a retreat. Hello, Kripalu!  (It’s ok—those other people probably are weirdos. So are you. Eat your breakfast and shut up. No really, shut the f*ck up—it’s a silent breakfast.)
  7. You’ll start taking photos of yourself in yoga poses. Often. And you’ll think that other people care.  It’s like the modern-day version of the vacation slideshow. No one gives a sh*t, but they’ll pretend like they do so that you do the same when they whip out their own photos.
  8. You will at some point wear mala beads, which will break all over the floor of your 6:15 A.M. class.  (Basically, it’ll end about as well as when I wore my Grandmother’s rosary beads to dinner at age six. Silver Lining: The company was kind enough to re-string them for free, and now I just wear them like a really cool wrap bracelet. It’s very hippie chic. Thank you September Vogue.) (See #5)
  9. You will become a cheap date. Remember, you just dropped two sizes and you continue to spend at least an hour a day sweating and twisting and breathing. You’ll be buzzed from one drink!
  10. You’ll get over yourself. If you teach yoga, you’ll hope that people show up because they like taking class from who you really are. If you practice yoga, you’ll keep showing up and you’ll realize that the other sh*t doesn’t matter. 

Like elephant yoga on Facebook.

 Originally published by our elephriends over at Recovering Yogi on September 19, 2011. 
**********************************************************************************
Photo courtesy of Anton Belovodchenko

About Lee Anne Finfinger

Lee Anne (LA) Finfinger is a full-time Yoga Instructor, born and bred Pittsburgher. She and her husband live with their rescued cat, Harmony. When she’s not in a studio, LA can be found baking, traveling, hanging with family and friends, mentoring in the community (yeah that looks like B.S, but it’s not!), reading, writing and knitting. She can be found at: www.lafinfinger.com.

409,998 views

Appreciate this article? Support indie media!

(We use super-secure PayPal - but don't worry - you don't need an account with PayPal.)

237 Responses to “The 10 things you’ll do once you start yoga (that have nothing to do with yoga). ~ Lee Anne Finfinger”

  1. joy says:

    man…my ass hasn't seen a size 6 or 8 or 10 since I started yoga 5 years ago…wonder what I'm doing wrong….

  2. loren says:

    Yoga Sutras have nothing to do with yoga? Hm, I'd beg to differ. Asana, if anything, has less to do with yoga than the sutras do, and yet we objectify asana to no end in the west. My prayer is more of us read the sutras, not less.

  3. Lizzie says:

    If this article was called, 'The 10 things you’ll do once you start yoga (some of which YOU THINK have nothing to do with yoga), if you have no clue what yoga is actually about and are doing it because you think it's cool and you want to be ridiculously thin,' THEN it would be funny! :)

  4. Petra says:

    Just love it. Its so true….just listen to my yoga-mates in the rest-room..i will try to not laugh the next time when hearing this :-)

  5. elephantjournal says:

    Mike brother, I think she's making fun of those who try on veganism as lifestyle, instead of from real inspiration. I think she's…kinda on your side. Humor! ~ W.

  6. Mike says:

    I agree with you, but it was unnecessary to call veganism "over zealous." Veganism is cruelty free, healthy, and good for the environment. Why call that over zealous? Shouldn't we all strive to be the best we can for the planet?

  7. Nate says:

    Cruelty free? I just want to fill you in on a couple of facts. Humans are no different than lions, hippos, primates, canines, or any other living creature. We are all animals. We just happen to be humans and have the brain power to question our role on this planet. In the end though, like all other animals, we are meant to feed on eachother as a means of survival. This is what we humans have decided to call "the food chain." Everyother animal on this planet is driven by instinct. So the fact that cattle, pigs, and chickens are edible and quite frankly delicious, we eat them. If the human population didn't eat them, I am sure evolution would figure out a way for them to eat us since cattle, pigs, and chickens would vastly out populate the human race in less than a decade. So in all honesty, Vegans and vegitarians who are choosing this lifestyle to be cruelty free, pull your prude heads out from the depths of your rectal cavities and become a part of the world God intended for us. Thank you.

  8. Julia says:

    There is no such thing as a yoga "Bible." The Bible is the bible yoga is yoga

  9. Julia says:

    who named you yogi? Yourself? Thought so

Leave a Reply