How to Say No (in 25 Bad A** Ways).
I’ve mastered the fine art of saying yes.
I will say yes, for the most part, to anything you ask me to do; I love you, you see and I want you to be happy.
And I am bendy and flexible and so I will warp myself into all sorts of shapes and sizes to make sure that I honor the yes that I gave you (you know…because I’m a good person.)
It doesn’t matter how stressed or how out-of-my-way I have to go to make it happen; I would rather put myself out then let you down.
But sometimes, my yes is really a no.
My body can turn my yes-into-a-no, as can my facial expression, or the tone of my voice. If you are clever, you’ll hear the no in the yes and if you are honest (unlike me, it would seem) you will call me out on it.
Why is saying no so difficult?
As soon as a no pops into my head, I fill with guilt and send myself into a dungeon full of negative thoughts—for example: I am a bad person…You won’t want to be my friend anymore…I’m not doing my part to save the world.
(Really, there is no rationale to where my mind will take me when it comes to saying no; needless to say, I am a work-in-progress.)
This year, I commit to being completely, compassionately, lovingly honest (even when it’s hard…especially when it’s hard) because I’m not honoring myself—or you—when I don’t say what I mean.
I will say yes when I mean yes (truly, madly, deeply, from my heart yes) and I will say no when I mean no (without holding guilt for doing so).
And when I am in doubt and my courage wavers, this list will surely help:
Source: justinemusk.com via Bryonie on Pinterest
And for the record, I’ve learned that there is as much love in saying no as there is in saying yes.
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(Source: tazzmarazz.tumblr.com via Amanda on Pinterest)
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#23 kicks @ss…
Ha!
<3 Love it!! So glad you decided to write it up. I would write more but…umm… somethings have come up that need my attention. hah!
Thanks for the inspiration…now, I must go and stick pins in my eyes!
I love this article! I tend to say yes on some occasions when I really should say no. The tendency dwindles with age, however
Thanks Jennie!
Nice work Bryonie. This is good. I’m going to go with a 15/16 combo. Cheers, B
Thank you! Great combo.
Bryonie, your article rings true with my recent decision to separate with my husband. It is a light hearted way for me to look at my new found ability to speak my mind/my heart, and finally say no. Fuck no.
I needed some humour. Thank you.
Hi Chelsea…you are most welcome…I'm happy that this lifted your spirits…and keep speaking your mind/heart. xo
Saying NO is a way of setting healthy boundaries. A wise man I once knew said that the meaning of the word "NO" is one of the most important lessons that we can teach our children. One of the reasons that Americans have such an aire of entitlement is they haven't heard NO quite often enough.
NO NO NO NO NO NO! Feels good to say NO, yes?
I so agree wit h you on your statement about Americans having such an air of entitlement because they don't hear the word NO enough. Especially now our schools teachers and parents are sheltering our children from the real world, and they are not being taught the meaning of the word NO. Then when our younger generation enter the real world and reality they do not have the proper skills and tools and therefor that sense of entitlement really comes in, they feel they don't have to work for anything and that they should be given everything because that's what they have been taught all through school. It is sad.
Thank you! The article was AMAZING!!! I loved it!
Excellent – thank you!
No 21 preceded by 'Thank you for offering me this wonderful opportunity but….'
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[...] Saying no is often the way to say yes. [...]