The Importance of Dying.
In the past three years I have lost my grandmother, an aunt, my brother and my mom.
I am just 31 years old.
If you take the timeline just two years further back, four more significant family members passed away, as well.
My mother’s in-home care nurse used to call us the Kennedy’s—we were blessed in so many ways, yet also seemingly plagued by loss.
Life is death, just as it is birth, and (depending on your belief system) rebirth.
Here in the West we are hell bent on denying that fact and slowing the process. People renovate their faces and bodies like their homes. Mortality is kept hidden within mortuaries and dead bodies are rarely seen unless manicured to look like dummy-doll versions of people’s former selves.
In the East, dying is understood as a natural part of life. Perhaps because there’s belief in rebirth, which makes death easier to grasp and less final. There are entire sects of Buddhism devoted to learning how to meditate so that upon death, their soul will be in a peaceful state and more likely to achieve a higher birth order when reborn.
The reality is we’re all going to die, just as we were all born.
And loss is unfortunately a part of life. People who have experienced little bereavement are actually the exception rather than the rule.
Death never gets easy though, no matter how many times you go through it. And with each person who passes (or any loss really; including break ups or divorces) old wounds are brought to the surface like scar tissue aching on a rainy day.
What is hard is learning to live when those we love are gone.
I didn’t believe I could live without my mother. A friend who lost her father recently asked me how I could go on after something so sad. We don’t move on, but we do move forward.
And death can actually be a blessing as it is a reminder how precious life is.
For without death, life would have no meaning.
Like elephant spirituality on facebook.
Ed: Lynn Hasselberger
Incorrect source, offensive, or found a typo? Or do you want to write for Elephant?
Dear Sarah,
thank you for sharing this very touching and senstive information. I think it is very important to address the topic of loss and dying a lot more. I absolutely agree that death is a part of life. The Eastern approach does see it like this, and the belief in afterlife puts death and loss in a bigger context that makes it less threatening and thus reduces the mental stress that is related with the experience of loss.
Thanks for sharing this, Sarah, I'm very sorry for all of the losses you've had to incur, but I do admire your view and strength. I hope I can use this post to my benefit as I've lost my father this past April, and it was my first huge loss. Good luck to you in your life. I hope to see more great advice like this from you soon!
Sweet Sarah, you are such a powerful inspiration. Your passion for life is contagious and you truly light up a room. I'm so sorry for your losses but thank you for offering such a mindful perspective. I really appreciate you and your point of view.