It’s eight in the morning and I’m sitting in my kitchen with tears of sadness streaming down my face.
Thirteen years ago today, I married the love of my life, a boy I met when I was 17. He was a freshman in college and I knew instantly that my life would never be the same. Since then, I have spent everyday with that boy. We have been through ups and downs and all of the in-betweens. I have watched him turn into a man and a father.
We have been together for 20 years now. I have been with him longer than I have been without him. We have a love that started as a whirlwind romance, and deepened everyday as we’ve walked through sickness, wellness, family strife, Hollywood bullshit, magical trips, quiet moments, deep heart-wrenching conversations, therapy, long nights, early mornings, financial success, being broke, pregnancy, babies, kids, moving, natural disasters, and the ordinary moments that are more beautiful than an ocean sunset.
I am blessed and grateful and I know that if I die tomorrow, I will have been one of the lucky ones to have experienced this kind of love.
So why, on a day where I get to remember and celebrate 13 years ago when we chose to honor our love by getting married, am I sitting here crying?
I was at the Human Rights Campaign Annual Dinner over the weekend. I heard person after person talk about how they, too, had this kind of love. They, too, had that chance moment when they made a soul connection with the person they knew they would spend the rest of their life with. Yet, they were not allowed to get married. They were not allowed to be with their love when they got sick.
And, to top it all off, there were actually other people in this world that were cruel to them and harassed them, simply because of who they loved. As if it was a choice.
I just watched this video that mirrored how I feel about my love. A video that washed over me like a wave of realization—how easy it is for me to be with my love. How the world smiles at us when they see us together. How even the law supports us and all we go through, as a couple. I was born this way. It wasn’t a choice. Thirteen years ago, we decided to get married… and we did.
It was that simple.
There are still over 34 states that do not recognize gay marriage. In more than half the country, if you are gay you have no legal right whatsoever to help your love when they are ill.
This is not a gay thing.
This is not a straight thing.
This is love.
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Assistant Editor: Andrea Charpentier/Editor: Bryonie Wise
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. How to Love a Woman who Scares You. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. A Letter to my Children: You do not come from a Broken Home. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. How My Sister’s Death Transformed my Self-Perception.