The opposite of depression is not happiness. It’s being present.
“I’m Not Here” is an emotionally raw and personal short I created to literally help me break free of the me that was spiraling into a state of deep depression.
I remember seeing a picture of my daughter and myself, and I couldn’t recall anything about that day. I could physically see her hand in mine but I couldn’t really remember feeling her tiny, precious hand in mine. It scared me. I didn’t know how many other moments I was missing with her.
“I’m Not Here” is what I call the detached time in my life when I wasn’t present for the people who matter the most to me, and also when I wasn’t present in myself.
From this vulnerable state I wrote “I’m Not Here.” It has two points of view: one is from the point of view of the mom who is deceased and recalling her life from the grave; the second point of view is from her daughter, now grown, who is wandering through the cemetery and remembering her mom.
I was fortunate in a sense that my depression was caused from external circumstances. I say fortunate because the root was external and it gave me control to recognize the situation for what it was and allow me to make a choice to redirect my sadness.
Through the process of making this short film I realized that the opposite of depression is not happiness. It’s being present. I still have feelings of sadness, doubt, insecurities and fears, but I own these feelings, they don’t own me.
“I’m Not Here” was a wake-up call for me and has been my ultimate liberation, my saving grace.
Like elephant journal on Facebook.
Assistant Ed. Paige Vignola/Ed: Bryonie Wise
hot on elephant
The story behind the Elephant-headed God. 379 shares Visual Yoga Blog: Refresh your Eyes the Yoga Way. 166 shares Boomers vs. Millennials: Will We stay the Course or Change It? 385 shares Instead of Sabotaging another Relationship, here’s how to Run into your Fear. 995 shares Join: Elephant’s Winter 2017 Academy. 9 shares The Benching Mind-F*ck: Worse than Ghosting. 1,730 share The Fourth Kind of Love. 2,137 shares What Teens need from their Parents. (Hint: It’s not Grounding & Punishment.) 1,681 share How Open-Hearted Men can Show Up for Strong, Independent Women. 2,599 shares October Energy Forecast: Prepare for Limitless, Unconditional Love. 4,400 shares