How to Love an Empath.

Via on Jan 22, 2014

Heart in Hand.

I’ve battled my bleeding heart for my entire life.

“Mommy what’s wrong?” My back was turned. “How does she know I’m upset?” I thought, even though I knew the answer.  She sensed my sadness, she always does.

I don’t lie to my children. When I’m sad, happy, angry or frustrated I show it. I tell them the truth because I want them to always feel secure to express themselves without fear of being told their emotions are invalid, irrational or insignificant.

So I replied, “Mommy’s feelings are hurt today honey. My heart is sad.”

“I know how that is Mommy, my feelings are hurt all of the time.”

She paused, wiping her warm little hands up and down my back, “Mommy, it’s so hard being a nice person.”  

I never thought of it this way, but it’s true. Being nice, loving and willing to open my heart to the people around me, makes me susceptible to pain.

At the tender age of five, my daughter has already learned this lesson. She and I are cut from the same cloth. We are highly sensitive, emotionally expressive, moody, compassionate, nurturing beings.

We feel more than we think.

This is a blessing and a curse. It allows us to understand people and see things others don’t. However, when we remove the shield we become vulnerable and in this vulnerability we can be hurt.

I’ve battled my bleeding heart for my entire life. I don’t want to anymore. I love that I can touch my emotions, delve into them, experience them and move forward. I can sense other people’s emotions too, as if they were my own. Slowly, I am learning how to keep myself protected while I remain exposed and empathetic, without being untrusting and guarded.

I’ve tried to fit the mold for long enough, to not let other people affect me. I try to analyze the way I feel with logic and pragmatism; I fail every time. I’ve been told over and over again that my feelings aren’t real and they don’t exist. I’ve felt misunderstood and invisible for far too long. I know they exist. They are real.

Every day, I interact with others and I feel them without words, so does my daughter, she did it tonight and she was right, I was sad. Mothering my daughter has allowed me to love her in the way I’ve always needed and wanted to be loved.

How do I love her (an empath)?

(This applies to children, friends, parents and romantic partnerships).

It’s simple; I honor how she feels and I reassure her that her feelings are important. As an empath, she needs extra time to process her emotions, whether she asks for alone time or she wants to talk it out. I nurture her in the way she is asking to be loved, whether it is through tears, screams or silence.

She needs extra affection, it helps her feel safe. Most of all, I celebrate her sensitivity because it is a gift. She is on this Earth to love with all her might.

If you love an empath, feel blessed because you hit the karmic jackpot. Who better to love and support than someone who lives to love you back, completely.

This poem is dedicated to my daughter and to those of us who feel it all.

To Love An Empath

By Rebecca Lammersen

 

 I’m all feelings, that’s it.

Lit with emotions that just won’t quit.  

I wish,

I wish I could turn them off with a switch,  

But that’s not an option,

Till I’m buried in a ditch.

 

There’s always a trade to be made,

Every decision keeps me saved.

Sometimes it causes strife,

Cause I refuse to cut the emotions outta my life.

 

My dream would be,

To express all and be received,

Yet no one wants to love the girl who seems dis-eased.

You’re not deceived,

So stop believing the lies you feed.

You must understand,

I’ve been freed.

 

Sometimes I question how to get by,

But I’ll never give up,

I’ll continue to try.

Every time I dive into my head,

I can’t seem to make it heard or said.

See, the feelings keep dripping from my heart,

Cause it’s the only way I know to live my art.

 

Forced to hide inside my mind.

It’s torture in here,

The joy, the sadness just won’t disappear.

 

You ask me to shut it down,

Cause then I can’t make a sound,

So I don’t disturb you and your ground.

But I can’t, I won’t.

 

Either love me fully or let me go.

I don’t have time to be a ghost.

I took off the sheet when I realized,

It’s the only way to stay alive.

 

Next time I cry,

Next time I scream

Hold me close,

Please don’t leave.

Just keep me open,

So I can bleed.

This is how to love the life I lead.

Relephant reads:

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Want Me Now. {Poem}

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Editor: Cat Beekmans

Photo: elephant journal archives

About Rebecca Lammersen

Rebecca Lammersen is the founder of Yogalution, a donation based yoga studio in Scottsdale, AZ. I love being alive. I love being a mother. I love teaching yoga. I love to write. I love to know. I love to not know. I love to learn. I love to listen. I love to read. I love to travel. I love to dance. I love to help. I love to serve. That pretty much sums me up. Check out Rebecca's website and her articles at The Huffington Post. Subscribe to Rebecca's feed and never miss a post!

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71 Responses to “How to Love an Empath.”

  1. Keith Artisan LivingArtisan says:

    Great article ! I've been thinking about writing about empathy as well ; here is an article I wrote about being highly sensitive that you may find intriguing. http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/01/yoga-the-h

  2. Monika says:

    I cried just reading this…the poem hit me dead on center! Thank you for sharing. May I share your poem? Blessings, and I totally get YOU!

    • Lucy Phillips says:

      Dear empaths

      It made me cry too, the depth of it and it reminded me of my life, so true that people try to take advantage of a good Heart, but no matter what they do to us we need to keep on shinning and loving and don’t let them take our happiness away. Clear ourselves of negative energy by imagining a white light shower over our heads and bring the white light through every body part, until the feet, then imagine the energy coming out of your feet and Into the earth that’s the negative energy leaving then do the same with the outside of the body this is cleansing and should be done regularly and when ever you have been interacting with people. Then put up a shield this allows love in and helps block the negative energy. To shield imagine you are surrounded by a sphere of white light then say archangel Michael please protect and shield me now. This is powerful for empaths and sensitive people.

      Hope this helps you.

      Namaste

      Lucy

  3. Nichole says:

    Thank you for this: Beautiful.
    My daughter and I BOTH "get it"

  4. Jey says:

    Thank you so much for your article Rebecca. This fits me to a "T" and I can honestly say I don't love being an empath. I "FEEEEEEEL" too much, I'm "TOOOOOO sensitive". I've been told that my whole life. It's just the way I've been since the get go. It's nice to know that there are others out there just like me. It's even nicer to know that you are a loving, guiding force to your daughter. I wish someone in my life understood me like that.

    • Dawn says:

      Jey, a book that may give you some insights is The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron. Look it up! Its great.

  5. Tanya says:

    I am proudly an empath. And I agree we should be adored and cherished for how we are. Thank you for this. :)

  6. This gave me the chills because of how relevant it is. Especially this:

    "Either love me fully or let me go.
    I don’t have time to be a ghost.
    I took off the sheet when I realized,
    It’s the only way to stay alive."

    Perfect, Rebecca. Thank you thank you. <3

  7. Sheila says:

    Thank you for posting this. It's so true.

  8. Tina says:

    I get this completely!!! Biggest obstacle is about learning to allow the right people in…manipulative, abusive people take advantage of a kind & sensitive hearts like ours. Other biggest obstacle is how much longer it take our hearts to heal after being wounded. Right now I am having the most difficult time in regards to have given sooo much to someone who just cut me off as if I were nothing but apparently at one point I was sooooo much more. When looking at it…he had a lot of traits that are what emotional a users do.

  9. Keane says:

    Great post. I totally feel ya (empathetically, I mean)!

  10. steve says:

    Well, personally for me, I am getting tired of people stating that they are more empathetic than "normal people". We ALL have the capacity to be compassionate and empathetic. We all CHOOSE whether or not we are going to be caring to others. NO ONE is special because they are empathetic. They are just doing what human being is meant to do. My daughter recently told me that she was more empathetic than others and in the next breath did something that was so self-centered and very hurtful to others because she was concerned about doing what made her happy. To have empathy and compassion is also to know and understand grace. And this means that you go about your life spreading light and NOT telling the whole world that you are special and different because you do this…

    • Jordan says:

      Respectfully, I believe you’re wrong. It’s one thing to care, but it’s a completely different thing to feel another person’s emotions as deeply as an empath does. I’m not sure how old your daughter is, but if she’s young I really wouldn’t expect her to understand empathy. My SO has no grasp of empathy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not his fault and I love him so much, but he operates on a totally different emotional level. Some people are just not able to be empathetic. That being said, those who are empathetic have a gift, and you’re just another one of the people discrediting us.

      • Joe E says:

        "Respectfully, I believe you're wrong. It's one thing to care, but it's a completely different thing to feel another person's emotions as deeply as an empath does."

        Jordan: Science disagrees with you. As long as you are willing to put yourself in someone else's shoes, you can indeed feel another person's emotions as deeply as they do. There is no special quality, other than choosing to do so. Read the 2013 article called "Empathy for the social suffering of friends and strangers recruits distinct patterns of brain activation." It states how, in an experiment, people showed more empathy toward friends and less toward strangers, but when they were told to imagine a stranger was someone they cared about, they became as empathic toward the stranger as the friend. They measured empathy using fMRIs. Studies with fMRIs are new, but I bet we will start seeing more of the same when it comes to empathy. Moreover, as an empath, wouldn't you REJOICE in the fact that ANYONE could be as empathic as you? The world needs more people being sensitive and intuitive and compassionate and empathic. Empathy, according to science, is teachable. What an amazing gift you can bring to others—showing them the way that you have been on your whole life.

        • Jarret L. says:

          Joe, there are some things that science cannot qualify nor quantify and this is certainly one of them. Science has not yet gotten to the level of being able to fully map out, nor for that matter to understand, all the neuro pathways of the brain and what their purposes are. Just recently there was a Yale study that argued against age old doctrine of which the brain cells die and are not replaceable. The study points out that certain chemical reactions stimulate the growth of certain types of brain cells with the use of certain cannabinoids. I only mention this so as to provide a point that science is, more often than not, wrapped in theories. Many of which can be disproved. I'm a Psy/Soc major and have lectured in classes at the junior college level on topics such as the one this thread is related to. As for rejoicing for others to be more empathic, to each their own (formed by their own socialization and experiences). I would rejoice and at the same time, I'd be wary of another feeling as much pain from others as I often do. It's a lot like the scene from the movie 'Bruce Almighty' when he decides to hook up everything to the internet and get the messages that way. He suddenly starts hearing all the anguish, anger, resentment, depression, and many other emotions less than smiling from all over the world. As an empath, it is a lot like that. My experience with dealing with others emotions on a high volume is that, when I'm around people that I know, I can somewhat mute it so that I don't feel them so acutely. It's like I know their energy signatures and my radar can attune to those at will for the most part. In large crowds though, amidst many people that I don't know, it all just comes rushing in and it's quite a laborious process mentally, to dissimenate between danger and help wanted. This is not like walking a balance beam, it's more like walking a tight rope and the stakes are a lot higher.

    • Ian Harvey says:

      I'm with you here, Steve. I'm a little tired of this "self-othering" (terrible turn of phrase, I know) and self-labeling that we engage in when we feel marginalized. I just wrote a righteous rant on my previous love affair with the "introvert" label that applies pretty well: http://bodymindconspiracy.com/you-are-not-your-in

      No matter how special or justified your label makes you feel, you're still negating all of your many facets that can't be described by that word. I had to shake the "empath" label once I realized that I just tend to have hyperactive embarrassment, shame, and sadness reactions to certain social cues. I'm almost certainly a better listener now that I'm not overflowing with mental sewage every time someone feels pain.

    • Lea says:

      Who said it was special? Believe me, nobody would choose to be an empath, it hurts. The world needs all types – people who can go out and fight on the front lines and bring about change without being destroyed by what they see and experience in the process, and people who are incredibly responsive to pain and suffering who can highlight the need for change and provide nurturing and support. We wouldn't survive as a species without both types. None is more 'special', we all have our strengths. Some people really don't have the capacity for empathy, and we need them too otherwise we'd never move the world forward, we'd all be too worried about hurting someone's feelings.

      • Cynthia says:

        I am, and I think I would choose it, if I could. It hurts, yes, but it also makes all the good things so much more. Every feeling is so much sharper and it feels so fantastic to be able to help others by knowing them before they even talk to you.

    • John says:

      I'm an "empath" and I don't CHOOSE to care about others, it happens against my will.

    • amber says:

      Being an empath means far more than being empathetic. We pick up on people's energies feelings and emotions as if they were our own, that's not something that can be learned or taught.it's like being psychic, except instead of picking up on peoples thoughts, we pick up on people's energies, vibrations, and fEelings

  11. @ItsJustInU says:

    I agree that we all have the capability to choose empathy and compassion. What I think this article was pointing to, however, is that some people are more sensitive to the emotions of others. For some, being able to almost instantly feel what another person is feeling can serve as a reminder to be especially mindful and compassionate with someone. Other people are less in tune with others' emotions, and may need more observable evidence to know what another person is feeling. (And then of course, there are those who are just completely oblivious to anyone but themselves, but that's another article lol.) I don't think either of these ways of empathizing with others is better or special – they are just different ways of interacting with the world; different degrees of sensitivity. What matters most is the choices we make when we become aware of others' suffering.

    • Deb says:

      Well said…..I am one of those people who, like Ian, said, is an introvert who tends to be "hyperactive' to certain "social cues" and emotions. I don't want to label myself as an 'empath'. I have just read a book by Gay Hendricks and he talks about social/persona masks….we all have them but, most of us, also have the capacity to be empathic…some have not learned it and some don't want to!

  12. Kelly says:

    This is perfect.

  13. Mary Ann Kyle says:

    I agree with Steve. No one is more or less than anyone else. I also think its irresposible parenting to expose and therefore teach depression to a minor.

    • Ami says:

      Yes some are more in tune than others. Teaching depression to a minor? Um, not really. If anything it teaches a child to not run from difficult emotions (that will inevitably arise) and turn to neurotic behaviors because they don't know how to handle what they are feeling. That is irresponsible.

    • Oh, and we have SOO much control over depression and how it consumes us. We have it and we deal with it the best way that we can. Sometimes you can't even get out of bed. It is a chemical imbalance. No one would ever choose to be unhappy. Don't be so quick to judge. This is not a lifestyle choice. Try learning about it before you cast judgments.

  14. Hi, it sounds like you might have Borderline Personality Disorder. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personali

    I am BPD and I've been in therapy for it and you definitely have most of the traits, including strong emotions, moodiness, volatile feelings that change easily, being extra sensitive to everything, fear of abandonment… just feeling overwhelmed by emotion in general. You should read the wiki page… the best treatment for BPD or even if you don't think you have it, a great treatment for feeling this way is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, which incorporates a lot of mindfulness practice as well as traditional therapy stuff. I did a 6 month program and it was really helpful. No medications required or anything. And it's based on Eastern Religion and some zen stuff, developed by Marsha Linehan at University of Washington and has been clinically proven to make a huge difference in many studies of people with BPD. There were people in my group who didn't necessarily identify as having BPD but still found it helpful.

    Anyway, when I was reading this article I really thought you might benefit from reading more about this, if you haven't heard about it already.

    • Ven says:

      I thought the same thing while reading this. For decades, I've been very up-close and personal with more than one person who suffers from BPD. The signs you pointed out here are right on, and I saw hints of them in the article, too.

      It's one thing to be highly attuned to the feelings of OTHERS, and for this "empathy" (heightened emotional awareness) to grant you compassion and the ability to connect with others in ways that others can't. It's a very different thing to feel imprisoned within yourself by highly extreme and intense emotions that you cannot describe or escape, and which you feel NOBODY can understand.

      Borderline Personality Disorder is a potentially seriously damaging condition that can lead to destroyed relationships, self-harm (like "cutting" or burning), impulsive behaviors (like drug/sex/food/spending addictions or reckless driving), and (in 8-10% of BPD sufferers) even suicide. Parents with it (diagnosed or not, and most aren't) can unknowingly inflict serious damage on their children.

      Aside from this, behaviors like raging, lashing out at others, name-calling, destroying property, and threatening people (and then, almost immediately, intensely regretting these behaviors) are NOT "empathic" qualities. They ARE, however traits of BPD. I encourage others reading this to look into BPD if you have (or are close to someone who has) these traits and/or the ones that exileandcunning mentioned.

      To exileandcunning: I think you deserve a lot of credit for taking the reins in your own life, and for helping others to do the same. As you probably know, most people with BPD don't seek treatment (or don't complete it if they do)–and many are unwilling to consider that they have a problem, even though everyone close to them knows it.

      Thank you for having the courage to share from your own experience. I wish you the best on your path!

    • Lynn says:

      I am empathetic and have been diagnosed with BPD. I have been working with a therapist who teaches Dialectic Behavior Therapy for over 11 years. I am no longer diagnosed BPD, but am still empathetic. It does not change the fact that I am empathetic, just how I deal with my emotions and those of others.

  15. hippiehonest says:

    How do you protect yourself from the energies? I have a hard time, I'm also trying to learn to protect myself in my dreams as well.

    • Sandy age 73 says:

      Study a few grounding and protection techniques. I use stones for both and wear or carry them with me.

      • Armadeon says:

        Sandy is right, knowledge is key. Two points I'd make are:

        Train yourself through observation to tell the difference between internal and external emotions.

        Negative emotions from others stay with you after they've walked away, it's a bit like a game of tag. You can 'de-tag' yourself by a conscious effort to release it. After a while (for everyday situations) it becomes quicker and easier than using shielding techniques.

        When things are swamping you too much make a conscious effort to positively polarise your own output – remember Will directs emotion.

    • Cynthia says:

      I have a mantra I use every day on my way to work, to ground myself. I tell myself: "You are in control of your mind and body, you control your emotions and thoughts. You decide what you want to feel." I just say it out loud and repeat it for a while and it helps me face all the external influences that come with seeing and feeling other people and their emotions. I do pick up on their vibes heavily, but I just repeat my mantra in my head and I gain control over whether I am affected or not. (Unless it's really, really heavy emotion.)

  16. Vernon Nielsen says:

    Definitely both a blessing and a burden. really it can be overwhelming to be empathic. But i think we all devise our self protection techniques as we go , ranging from blocking everything and becoming emotionally dead to just learning to be open and loving and having healthy boundries. I think with the lack of open acknowledgement of this form of electromagnetic energy exchange, its blocked us from realizing deeper more substantial uses of our energy as a species, the world is very tough on realized empaths. people dont even have to say anything to send us off in a different direction and it may not even be directed at us. Some of us deal with huge energies with related things like kundalini, or a past love interest that turned out to be an addict whos emotions are out of control, man some of the horrors of energy i have felt in recent years,,,,,You just cant explain that stuff in words.

  17. Ginger says:

    It's just incredible to read this and know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Thank you so much for the validation and beautiful expression of our gift.

  18. Marie says:

    Wow, I could not have said it better myself! Nice to see I am not alone! I wish some day someone (apart from my wonderful daughter who is like me) will have the courage to really love me (not from a distance)

    Blessings to you <3

  19. YogaDoulaSpain says:

    i can't thank you enough for putting into words this better understanding of myself. <3

  20. Iona Eubanks says:

    I am an empath to the degree that I do psychic readings for a living. I love your raw honesty here, and I feel that it is an important conversation. I was excited to read this article, but for me there are areas where it comes up a little short. It's like I want to give you a big hug and tell you it gets better. Know the ditch, keep it clean, but you don't have to spend so much time down there bleeding. Beware the perils of protagonism as defense mechanism. We are not nicer, nor more nourishing than anyone else, that's a myth. Statistically, we do not spend more time in compassionate selfless service, in fact many of us sit in our rooms and pout all day. As an empath, I am responsible for my own equilibrium, boundaries, and self care. It is my job to ask myself important questions like, "How mainstream-able am I?" or, "Can I take public transportation and still be sane when I get there?", and "How many consecutive hours can I realistically spend at a social gathering before I want to bolt, and how do I communicate that without offending anyone?" You know what I'm talking about! We hurt other people just being the way we are too. So, forgive, self regulate, communicate gently. Many empathic children are better off homeschooling or doing independent study, so plan for that. p.s. It's a gift.

    • Ian Harvey says:

      I ain't sure about the psychic thing, but you certainly have insight. If you had a blog, I'd read it :)

    • Deb says:

      Yes Iona you have great insight. I am learning this about myself. Unfortunately, we are often told there is 'something wrong with this way of being" (BPD someone suggested above???!!! – hate labels). I am slowly learning my own 'power'. Your questions are great….I was going to many a social gathering that I felt I had to attend for various reasons….I don't go anymore!!!

  21. Sharon Cross says:

    As an empath and I thank you for this article and poem. <3

  22. Tricia says:

    I stumbled across this post, ironically as I am feeling a panic attack brewing. I’ve never been able to put my feelings into words the way you just did. I felt as if you were reading my soul from the inside out. Oh, to know that I’m not alone. This helps so much. You describe my personality completely. Thank you!

  23. Joshua says:

    The most interesting part is that it’s normally female seen as the only empath. I relate to this article word for word, but as a male and I can tell you it is no different. The issue I’ve had is that other men see it as a weakness and therefore I have few male friends, and those that I do have are predominantly artists or very curious and accepting individuals. And from the female side I’m seen as the sensitive artsy guy and a good catch, but have allowed myself to be abused and used many times out of being the martyr for others feelings and taking on all the emotions in any experience, and with that often times all the blame, hurt and judgement. Often narcissistics are attracted to me for what I can only believe they see as a usable personality type, and they are the most difficult to read due to their unhealthy sociopathic principles. Granted, with my emotions I can often be misunderstood. The true gift of any empath is the ability to live w it but not in it. We are usually the INFJ or the enneagram 4. We live on the inside. To be able to roll with the feelings, not to personalize them or make them more than what they are is an everyday meditation. Realize it is a gift not a curse and we experience life as no other could fathom.

    • Coco says:

      Wow, Joshua. You hit the nail on the head. I, too, am an empath. I am an ISFJ personality (not exact, but close to what you mentioned). I was married for many years to a narcissistic man who made me feel that my emotions were irrational and invalid. I became very depressed. I am thanking Spirit that, as difficult an ending as it was for me, that I am now out. I am still trying to learn coping techniques. It's nice to know that there ARE others out there who are like me. Blessed be.

  24. Brenda Pendergraft says:

    Thank you for this! As an extremely sensitive empath myself I have felt this but was unable to craft it into words. Thank you for speaking for those of us without a voice!

  25. @spacelion88 says:

    Why is it assumed that an empath is always female?

  26. Jenny says:

    Thank you, Rebecca!! You have no idea how much this means to me and how happy I am for coming across your poem and thoughts. I can relate 100% and reading your article has helped clear my logical, exhausted mind. Namaste!

  27. Vicki says:

    Some of us were born into this world with busted-open hearts. We feel it all, all of the time. It is not easy and we did not choose this and we are not more “special” than anyone else. But it is who we are and it is hard to explain (so hard) but we have a choice: to fear our own hearts or to love them fully and develop ways to keep them strong (time spent with trees usually works for me). Thank you for this piece. You have a gift (not a disorder). Keep shining, shining, crying, laughing, feeling, shining. The world needs your light now.

  28. Tammy says:

    I disagree. U must be unexpierienced in order to feel this way as an empath. Empathy is a gift that should not hurt or cause uncertainty. It is is a sixth sence that is given to u as a purpose in life to help others. Never feel sorry for yourself. Feel sorry for the people who arnt as great as you. The ones who don’t get to go through. Life understanding

  29. Sonal says:

    When I started reading about this I felt you were writing about me. :) It is a blessing to understand others and have those psychic powers if one may call them, but instead of considering oneself weak/sensitive/emotional/vulnerable/misunderstood by others, I took the route of learning to control this gift by letting me affect me positively, by using it to grow as an individual and professional (and on rare ocassions reach out to those who are willing to accept that empathy). It is true that it is a double edged sword, but also remember, you hold it! And as a mother, apart from being happy that your girl is like you, you might want to also start moulding her to make it her strength and prepare her for her wonderful future.

  30. Tamara Star says:

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  31. Cathy says:

    Thank you for this beautiful and vulnerable article! I’m sitting here writing a letter to my five year old daughter on this very topic, in the hopes that it helps her one day to understand and love herself a little more.

  32. Asya says:

    WOW! So many a-ha moments in this read and among comments. I've always felt guilty, as if I knew too much about them while peeking through their window or something. For the first thirty years of my life I thought all those feelings, thoughts were mind without realizing just how connected I am with the Gaia network and all the living creatures on her. Through many many different grounding modalities, countless books, forums and endless meditations…etc…. even if for a second, managed to turn off all the radio stations in head and energy tsunamis in my physical and emotional body. I found myself. I've met my own raw edgy feeling for the very first time. That split second of an ascension was my 'red pill'. From that moment forward, there was no going back. No more playing small. No more playing victim. I had to face all of those 'demons' head held high with dignity and grace. Love begins with being kind to yourself. For as long as I can remember, I've longed for a mentor who can show me the way, and tell me why I could see/feel/ hear/know these things. After roller coaster over roller coasters of a life time, confusion beyond despair, when you hit the bottom of the rock bottom where it feels like your emotions can actually kill you…. you have to make a choice. Either fight against the roller coaster and plumped to your ending… or stand tall to this enormous giant of a 'bully' inside of you and simply acknowledge their presence… "You are not mine". Plant your roots to the ground so strong and gentle like a proud tree… and observe. So much current runs through your body that you feel like you can light an entire city with it. First, you are beyond terrified, then excited to be able to feel such presence. The moment you stand up for 'yourself' the at the darkest hour of the giant, the moment you become your own savior. Lion turns into a tiny little cat who has been yearning for your attention all along. That's all they wanted, just a simple awareness. Love begins with kindness to yourself… complete and utter presence is the only cure for the awareness of ones physical and emotional body. If I constantly have to train myself to stay present and watch my awareness take over with love, grace and dignity…. so be it :) in reality aren't we all there anyway?

  33. Jan says:

    Wow, I had my fortune told by this amazing woman, and she told me I was an empath. I had never heard if this, but afterwards U realized she was right. Something inside me clicked and I started understanding my life, and how I was indeed an empath. It’s been a blessing and a curse. Thanks for your article!

  34. Rhae says:

    I say every time I come across an Empath, who is free to release…as we mostly all are. I like to shout THANK YOU – THANK YOU, for becoming another voice for us.

  35. Debra says:

    It’s very nice to know the uber sensitivity I have had all my life has a deeper meaning and purpose. It’s very nice to know it’s not just females who experience it either.

  36. Wovensong says:

    What is the source of emotion? Where does it come from? When it leaves where does it go? Do pleasant and unpleasant emotions come from the same place or different. Investigate. Can something different be done with this engery, this feeling? Where does it reside when it is there?

  37. Ashley says:

    Thank you for writing and sharing about being an empath. Sometimes it is difficult to express or process the emotions of others while feeling our own strong emotions. I have been told through out my life I'm "too sensitive". This is who I am and I wouldn't change it, I embrace it :)

  38. Coco says:

    Wow… I have no words for this. For many years I was trapped in a marriage where I was made to feel that my emotions were invalid, irrational, and insignificant. This just confirmed that it wasn't me, it was him; that it's ok for me to be the way I am I am definitely an empath). Thank you and blessed be.

  39. Donna says:

    Thank you for the validation!! I am normal! I am not broken! Ever since I was a little girl I can still hear my daddy saying “Donna you have got to get your heart of your sleeve.” Well I will be 52 the end of this month and I have yet to figure out how to do this. Through the years and life trials and tribulations I have learned that my sensitivity is a weakness, a burden, which has left me feeling like a failure. My mind is always busy thinking and feeling. It is downright exhausting! I am so unhappy! I have spent a lifetime wanting to be somebody else. I am really interested in how I can stop feeling the woes of the world, or how I can feel them without being consumed by them. Can anybody give me some advice on where to start?

  40. Katie says:

    Do you find that movies affect how you are feeling?

  41. LilithP says:

    Hi my name is Patricia.
    As an empath I relate to this in a very deep level. Its lonley because most people don't seem to understand.
    Thank you so much. This will stay in my heart for the rest of my life. Bless you and your daughter.
    Hugs from Portugal*

  42. cookie says:

    Thank you for this article. I’ve always felt stupid and idiotic and weak that I couldn’t control my emotions. It has never dawned on me that others are also this way and there’s nothing wrong with us.

    I’ve learned to shut off, and shut it down. Only feeling anything when id drink heavily. I’ve had to re-learn how to feel my emotions in my first year of sobriety I am trying to be accepting and loving towards myself.

    Hearing that others also have felt this makes me feel not so alone.

    Thank you thank you thank you.

  43. Kristine says:

    I love this article, really sums us up, I think my 13 year old son may be one. I can at least help him, being one myself.

  44. srose19 says:

    Thank you so much for this! This is exactly how I feel as an Empath. Reading your post really made me feel so less alone! I really thank you for sharing the way Emapths truly feel, especially in today's society when emotions and feelings are a no-no and if we have them we are told to figure out why we feel them and fix it. I plan to mother the same exact way, where my children will always feel comfortable to share how they feel and anything going on in their lives and not be afraid to be the way they are. Thank you so much!

  45. Wonderful article. I'm empathic as well and I struggle day to day. I never truly considered what it must be like for others living with an empath! We must seem up and down all the time for no apparent reason. How blessed you are that your little one is so sensitive…though I'm sure it's challenging at times.

  46. @Mfourgeaud says:

    ! Thank you for these words, always feel good to see that others went through the same kind of experiences. ^^
    I now bless life for this gift, even though I hated it for so long. So many smile came back to life because of it.
    In a society where people tends to be too busy to take care of their feelings, I see our kind as their emotional safety valve.
    One thing I don't agree though, even if it was a long struggle, I can now mix those feelings and logic. And it should be part of the education of all empath! :)

  47. Guest says:

    Thank you for your insight and validation. My sensitivity feels like a curse most of the time. People think they can say anything, yet it's my fault it hurts…I'm too sensitive. Sometimes I can see and feel what others do and I feel like I shouldn't because it's personal, but I see it. I'd rather be sensitive than insensitive, but it hurts and costs a lot. It makes it impossible to do the kind of work I'd like to do, helping others, because I can't deal with others not caring and me caring too much. Thank you for expressing this beautifully.

  48. Angil Pari says:

    Nice Information share…. its really lovely blog.

  49. rafal says:

    as highish on the empathic scale:

    let me state….. I learn the response ability to be the vessel for the bursting waves within me.

    pax..

  50. MissGulla says:

    I so connected with this! It's so comforting to know more empaths and highly sensitive people are sharing more of who they are :) I wrote this and wanted to share – http://www.boycottthebs.com/how-to-love-an-empath… – 15 ways to help someone love an Empath!

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