How to Love an Empath.

Via on Jan 22, 2014

Heart in Hand.

I’ve battled my bleeding heart for my entire life.

“Mommy what’s wrong?” My back was turned. “How does she know I’m upset?” I thought, even though I knew the answer.  She sensed my sadness, she always does.

I don’t lie to my children. When I’m sad, happy, angry or frustrated I show it. I tell them the truth because I want them to always feel secure to express themselves without fear of being told their emotions are invalid, irrational or insignificant.

So I replied, “Mommy’s feelings are hurt today honey. My heart is sad.”

“I know how that is Mommy, my feelings are hurt all of the time.”

She paused, wiping her warm little hands up and down my back, “Mommy, it’s so hard being a nice person.”  

I never thought of it this way, but it’s true. Being nice, loving and willing to open my heart to the people around me, makes me susceptible to pain.

At the tender age of five, my daughter has already learned this lesson. She and I are cut from the same cloth. We are highly sensitive, emotionally expressive, moody, compassionate, nurturing beings.

We feel more than we think.

This is a blessing and a curse. It allows us to understand people and see things others don’t. However, when we remove the shield we become vulnerable and in this vulnerability we can be hurt.

I’ve battled my bleeding heart for my entire life. I don’t want to anymore. I love that I can touch my emotions, delve into them, experience them and move forward. I can sense other people’s emotions too, as if they were my own. Slowly, I am learning how to keep myself protected while I remain exposed and empathetic, without being untrusting and guarded.

I’ve tried to fit the mold for long enough, to not let other people affect me. I try to analyze the way I feel with logic and pragmatism; I fail every time. I’ve been told over and over again that my feelings aren’t real and they don’t exist. I’ve felt misunderstood and invisible for far too long. I know they exist. They are real.

Every day, I interact with others and I feel them without words, so does my daughter, she did it tonight and she was right, I was sad. Mothering my daughter has allowed me to love her in the way I’ve always needed and wanted to be loved.

How do I love her (an empath)?

(This applies to children, friends, parents and romantic partnerships).

It’s simple; I honor how she feels and I reassure her that her feelings are important. As an empath, she needs extra time to process her emotions, whether she asks for alone time or she wants to talk it out. I nurture her in the way she is asking to be loved, whether it is through tears, screams or silence.

She needs extra affection, it helps her feel safe. Most of all, I celebrate her sensitivity because it is a gift. She is on this Earth to love with all her might.

If you love an empath, feel blessed because you hit the karmic jackpot. Who better to love and support than someone who lives to love you back, completely.

This poem is dedicated to my daughter and to those of us who feel it all.

To Love An Empath

By Rebecca Lammersen

 

 I’m all feelings, that’s it.

Lit with emotions that just won’t quit.  

I wish,

I wish I could turn them off with a switch,  

But that’s not an option,

Till I’m buried in a ditch.

 

There’s always a trade to be made,

Every decision keeps me saved.

Sometimes it causes strife,

Cause I refuse to cut the emotions outta my life.

 

My dream would be,

To express all and be received,

Yet no one wants to love the girl who seems dis-eased.

You’re not deceived,

So stop believing the lies you feed.

You must understand,

I’ve been freed.

 

Sometimes I question how to get by,

But I’ll never give up,

I’ll continue to try.

Every time I dive into my head,

I can’t seem to make it heard or said.

See, the feelings keep dripping from my heart,

Cause it’s the only way I know to live my art.

 

Forced to hide inside my mind.

It’s torture in here,

The joy, the sadness just won’t disappear.

 

You ask me to shut it down,

Cause then I can’t make a sound,

So I don’t disturb you and your ground.

But I can’t, I won’t.

 

Either love me fully or let me go.

I don’t have time to be a ghost.

I took off the sheet when I realized,

It’s the only way to stay alive.

 

Next time I cry,

Next time I scream

Hold me close,

Please don’t leave.

Just keep me open,

So I can bleed.

This is how to love the life I lead.

Relephant reads:

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Editor: Cat Beekmans

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About Rebecca Lammersen

Rebecca Lammersen is the founder of Yogalution, an intimate, boutique style yoga studio in Scottsdale, AZ. I love being alive. I love being a mother. I love teaching yoga. I love to write. I love to know. I love to not know. I love to learn. I love to listen. I love to read. I love to swim. I love to travel. I love to dance. I love to help. I love to serve. That pretty much sums me up. For daily inspirations, check out Rebecca's website. Visit her yoga studio website and peruse her articles at The Huffington Post. You can also find her on Facebook. Subscribe to Rebecca's feed and never miss a post!

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83 Responses to “How to Love an Empath.”

  1. Thank you for this, Rebecca. <3
    This fits me perfectly. Over the last year, the idea of being an empath has been floating around whenever I've seen articles popping up. I haven't given it that much thought, to be honest; 2014 was a really emotional year, not in a good way, and I felt like there just was something wrong with me. I was just depressed, nothing I can do about that other than take vitamins and exercise and deal with it. Embracing the idea of being an empath will lead me to a new kind of freedom, I think.
    It's started because I'm traveling in Morocco (alone) and my heart has been aching for the animals. The dogs, the cats, and I've wondered if the camels are actually happy (I heard someone say they saw one of the owners kick one like a soccer ball). I thought that it was a "Western thing," to feel so much for the animals, to want to take them home and save them. A stray dog was following me home after I gave it some love for a little while, and it broke my heart. I told others who I expected, as Westerners, to understand my aching heart; but they responded indifferently.
    That was when I knew that I am different.
    On another, but related note, I feel that protecting myself was a big cause of stress in my relationship in 2014. I was afraid to soften into my female qualities, trying to "survive" in a "man's world", enhanced by my sensitivity… and I fought against my watery qualities. But now, I know that I can learn how to shield myself, but also soften into my relationship and truly show up as an unconditional lover – without fear!
    So, anyway. Thank you! I am feeling less alone and like there is a good reason that I am the way that I am. :)

  2. Karen says:

    This was so beautiful…thank you

  3. Sheroonia says:

    Hey Rebecca,

    I read your beautiful articulation & m mesmerised the way you expressed the feelings i never figured out. Thank you for writing something so beautiful & extraordinary.

    ” love me completely or let me go”

    I literally had no idea that i was an empath & this concept definitely lead me to freedom one day i know.

    Prayers & blessings ♡

  4. a-torcrchered soul says:

    A friend shared your poem with me earlier tonight. After I read it. I brushed the tears away and thanked her for sharing it with me. You found a way to say the things that I have been trying to for months. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

  5. aniri says:

    Perfect timing, reading this article now, after almost a week of emotions fighting inside my soul, not knowing where they come from and what they want from me. I am one – empath and Seinsible soul, i feel things, not only i don't know if they are mine or not but i also do not know what they are trying to say to me. And I'm always fighting to discover what they mean.
    This is a great lesson – ;let go, accept the emotions as they are, accept it is normal for them to be there, accept that it is normal for me to be down or on a montagne rousse every once in a while

  6. Melissa says:

    Thank you for this article and poem. I am currently struggling through so much…people think I’m crazy when I just feel more. I just quit drinking, which I was only doing to drown the emotions out and to be more fun. Then it became an every day thing…now that I’m done I’m starting to feel again, and in a way I feel sorry for them and their numbness; those that don’t know how to feel. I’ll never drown out the emotions again.

  7. Danielle says:

    Hi! I first heard the term "empath" in Star Trek the Next Generation about one of the characters when I was in high school. Her skills seemed to mimic and explain my emotions and sensitivities, so I started asking if it was a real thing. In the late 80's, early 90's. It isn't a real thing, but I thought it sounded cool and decided to call myself one anyway. Unfortunately, as another commentator mentions our sensitivity and emotions is more a symptom of other issues and ignoring those can lead to bigger life problems like codependent relationships, constant bouts of depression, avoidance of others to avoid their feelings and pressure, and in some cases attempts to self medicate with drugs or alcohol to numb the feelings. Some of us struggle with wanting to commit suicide as well. It is especially hard when we have these wonderful precious gifts and don't learn healthy boundaries or ways to care for ourselves and then mistakenly teach our daughters and sons that they should just ride out the negative or believe that they are an "empath" instead of directing them to the appropriate therapy and tools to prepare them for what can be an overwhelming life. There are so many positives to our personalities beyond the emotional sensitivity, usually creativity and intelligence to name just two… We needn't suffer unnecessarily and neither should our children.

  8. preeti gajbhiye says:

    thank you so much i know how much emotions you feel from others without even a word.

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