What Happened When I Didn’t Complain for 32 days. ~ Susan McFadzean

Via Susan McFadzeanon May 28, 2014

Freedom

Bonus:

Mindful Speech & Elocution in Buddhist tradition.

I love challenges.

I love the idea of having a sort of competition with yourself to see where you can push yourself, and also when you need to back off and give yourself a break.

So I decided to do a contest with myself where I committed to not bitching for 32 days and here is what I learned.

I complain a lot.

I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but I am ashamed to admit that the very first day I started I caught myself complaining (mentally mostly) at least ten times before breakfast. So I made the trick in the first few days to catch myself when I was complaining.

To a large extent, I found that it’s important to look within yourself and acknowledge what you’re complaining about and have the discernment to realize when you are being petty and when there is something underlying your complaints.

If you can change the circumstances, great—if you can’t, let it go and carry on with your day with cheerfulness.

I started noticing the beauty around me more and more.

After practicing catching yourself complaining daily and work to letting go, you begin to see that there is actually beauty in so many things that we often complain about. The taste of tea, the feeling of walking around without any shoes on.

I learned more about what dulls my spirit and what brightens it.

I saw that the more I noticed my complaints, the more I was able to see how unnecessary they were. As far as time-wasting goes, I think that complaining is the biggest of them all. Let go of the complaints and love comes rushing in.

Love, compassion, understanding flows through you as if to say “why didn’t you do this sooner, this is a way better feeling.”

It brought my awareness to my fears.

I could see the fears of being negative, of failure, of boredom bubbling up through my complaints. The fear of being a failure, fear of financial loss, and fear of being like the person you are complaining about.

I noticed that my complaints often ending up being directed to the actions of other people, some affected me, some didn’t. And more often than not, complaints involve nasty, uncaring words directed to that person. I realized that the uncaring, nasty person I was when I complained is not the authentic version of me: I endeavor to be a kind person, through my actions and my words. 

Not bitching has helped me become aware of when I’m not following my own code of ethics to be a conscious being. Conscious of what I do and say to the humans, animals and environment of this world.

I encourage everyone to do their own version of a #nobitchingcontest if you’re not afraid to stalk your fears, to look inside and find out what brightens your spirit and what dulls it.

~

Relephant:

The Complaints Stop Here. {Adult Language}

~

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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About Susan McFadzean

Susan McFadzean is a Yoga Teacher and student of life. She is currently living in South Korea, drawing inspiration from her travels and learning as much as she can about life, Yoga, inspiration-creating events which she just wants to share with the world around her. Her main goal is to offer different perspectives to the world and hopes that through her writing will bring about even a small shift in the overall consciousness of human beings, and looks to inspire through bringing beauty and positivity to the world. To follow her #nobitchingcontest, and other challenges, visit her website, or follow her on twitter @LittleYogiSu.

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19 Responses to “What Happened When I Didn’t Complain for 32 days. ~ Susan McFadzean”

  1. Jim says:

    I think I'm going to give this a try. I don't consider myself a complainer, but maybe I am and maybe I need a different outlook. Thank you for leading the way.

  2. Lauren says:

    Woo this seems like a tough challenge. I don't know how much I complain, but it's definitely daily and a problem. I think I will give this a try but start out small, maybe a week at first. :) And it will most certainly not be one of "those" weeks… if you know what I mean! Thanks for sharing how impactful your contest was for you!

  3. Victoria says:

    I tend to complain…a lot. I am going to do this. I need a new outlook and this is JUST the way to begin. Thank you!

  4. Ruby says:

    I can soooo relate, I too have been thinking along the lines of NO Bitching! And from your results, it is on. Thanks for a great post!

  5. kay says:

    Hi, yes, noticing is the first part and then NOT condemning, blaming ect yourself when you notice the internal chatter, possibly, "oops judging", notice, breath and move on. Practicing only 1 hour daily if a whole or half day is too much. Remember when you are continually looking out you cannot look within. light and love k

  6. Beth says:

    this is weird. I really needed this. serendipity

    • maria lynch says:

      Yes I got the same feeling WEIRD, I was just saying to myself my God maria every thought send to be a negative or poor me thought. Well maybe I will try this someday but not today, I have to clean my stupid house, cut my grass because my boyfriend is soo lazy! (LOL…get it?) Actually yes I will try it for one hour beginning RIGHT NOW

  7. Zee says:

    My bf tells me I complain a lot. I feel so bad when he tells me this and yet I can't stop myself sometimes. I am really going to make a conscious effort, starting RIGHT NOW to NOT complain. It's my worse vice. Thank you for helping us to be more aware.

  8. Susan says:

    Let me know how your challenges go, would love to feature some in my blog!

    Thanks for all the love and best of luck with your challenges…loving all the positivity!

  9. Bay says:

    I saw this headline yesterday and found that I was still thinking about it this morning at the beach. I have tried to maintain an awareness since then of my own complaining/being judgmental. It brings to mind the a well-known quote from Hamlet:
    "Why, then, 'tis none to you, for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." This can be looked at in different ways, but the words still hinge upon the same point.
    It's a tough thing to do: If somebody is being a blatant asshole, for example, it is almost second nature to call them out on it. But, by not complaining, etc. the essential lesson boils down to "Be the bigger person".

    Did that make any sense? I'm kinda just typing out my thoughts…

  10. Ed Herzog says:

    This is great stuff Susan! I think most of my complaining is internal so I'm going to focus my efforts on not complaining to myself!

    (BTW, the link to your blog is broken).

  11. Lisa says:

    I wouldn't call it complaining. I would call it enlightening others in their opportunities for growth.

  12. Susan says:

    Thanks for letting me know, Ed, here is the link…this should work!
    http://www.peopleshouldbeshocked.wordpress.com
    I love reading all the amazing comments, keep the feedback coming!

  13. Susan says:

    Thanks for pointing that out Ed, here’s a link to my blog, this one should work: http://www.peopleshouldbeshocked.wordpress.com
    I’m loving all the positive comments and support, you are all awesome!

  14. Hannah Harris Hannah says:

    Very self-aware! Inspiring read, thank you.

  15. Cathy says:

    Great article. I think you're right- most of us probably don't know how much we complain. I am going follow your advice!

  16. Jan says:

    I've been working toward this "no complaining" thing and have found it is really a bad ingrained habit. Now I find that I suddenly realize, mid-sentence, that I am bitching and I feel my dulled spirit, and vow to stop this unhealthy habit right now, but this habit is deep, so I try, try again….I'm happy to read that I'm not alone. I have had some very painful childhood memories surface that I think caused me to develop a habit of discharging anger through whining and complaining as I continue to become more conscious. Sometimes, now, I think of something I want to start complaining about..the urge is strong, and then I have an immediate over-riding thought: NO, DON'T SAY THAT. Then the urge passes and, I am grateful and at peace that I didn't complain. I think that is progress and, I like the resulting feeling. I do think writing out fears, angers daily and tossing the paper out is a way to help the mental process heal.

  17. Arlene says:

    I think this is a wonderful idea!!! I definitely want to try this. I want to see more color and bright and reduce the amount of time, energy and heart I spend on complaining. That's for the great idea!!! Catching myself will be a challenge, but I can do this! Thank you for sharing!

  18. Amy says:

    WOW, my roommate is always telling me that I complain A LOT. Who knew i wasn't the only one! On one hand it's nice to know I have company, on the other there is lot of people complaining. I will consciously give this a try. One fucking day at a time!

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