October 8, 2010

Trees About to Get Naked and Maybe I Should Join Them.

I’m a little jealous of the way the trees can show off like that—blasting color on their way to shedding the accumulation of this year’s leaves. If it were only that easy with my personality and personal effects… But these things seem to cling to me like peanut butter sticks in a dry mouth.

“Just let it go,” a friend might say. “You don’t really need that anymore,” someone kind might say.

Yeah, I don’t really need my guilt, shame and bad habits—really.

Bu-bye, cloudy, manipulative fear. Go ‘way.

But if I stopped believing the limiting things that I’ve been telling myself for so long, what then? It would mean that I’d walk through my life a bit differently. Perhaps better.

Yogic musing in Urdhva Dhanurasana.

The best thing someone told me today was that my obstacle was okay with her. It meant something because she was with me in a situation in a yoga class (actually a teacher training) I’m taking. We were working on assisting people in and out of Urdhva Dhanurasana (see picture to the right.). After I assisted my partner as she did a beautiful drop-back into the backbend, she was ready to help me. I wanted help standing up from the pose.

She needed help understanding what I needed. She can easily stand up from a backbend, and I need a little help. I told her about the forest of fear that seems to keep me from “seeing” the way to standing up. She said it was okay, and seemed glad to help. …said something like, “oh you don’t believe…”

Yeah, I don’t always believe in what might be on the other side of this or that experience, and it can be very difficult for me to trust that I’m going to be okay or succeed.

So what I’d like to drop like those old leaves, is that crusty gown of fear that seems to obscure my way to seeing success, or even honest failure (in yoga and other thangs…). But what I suspect is that just like nature has timing for trees, nature also has timing for me.

*…jus’ a little sumthin’ from Yogic Muse*

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