10 Horrible Yoga Gift Ideas.

Via Birdie Greenberg
on Dec 20, 2010
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It’s gift-giving season, and this post is for all you non-yogis out there.  The ones that are heading into the last week before Christmas filled with stress because you still have no gift for your wife/brother/partner/dad/best friend who loves all things yoga.  On the one hand it is a wonderful opportunity to supply him/her with a yoga arsenal – books, props, music, etc. – to support their yogic endeavors.  On the other hand, yoga and all things yoga is like a freaking foreign language to you.  You just don’t know where to begin.

In an effort to help narrow down your options, I have compiled a list of ten things NOT to purchase for your favorite yogi for Christmas.  Here they are, in no particular order:
10. The Inappropriate Neti Pot

You’ve heard your lovely little yogi talking all about wanting a neti pot, a nasal cleansing device which you can learn more about here. While this would make a wonderful and affordable stocking stuffer, be aware there are certain neti pots (like the one pictured above) shaped more like something one might “stuff” elsewhere, if you catch my drift.  So, for the love of all things ho-ho-holy, skip the phallic neti pots and stick with the more traditional version which is made with white ceramic and looks more like a teapot.  Like here.

9. A Stinky Mat

A new yoga mat is a fantastic gift idea.  But, unfortunately, a lot of them smell.  In fact, “smelly yoga mat” yields nearly 300,000 results on google. Yeah, it’s that big of a deal.  All yoga mats have a little bit of a smell, but some are worse than others.  I would suggest a mat made from natural rubber – still has an odor, but it isn’t overwhelming and fades quickly.  Bottom line: put your sniffer to the test this holiday season.
8. Trippy Meditation Glasses

Your daughter has recently started a meditation practice.  You’re not really sure what this means, but back when you were growing up meditation sometimes meant hippies and acid trips. You thought you might encourage a substance-free meditation practice with these neat glasses you saw online.  Stop. Put the credit card away and opt instead for a beautiful meditation pillow or zafu (my friend makes some cool ones here). Not only do these “Trip Glasses” reflect a total misunderstanding of meditation, but they come with the following warning: “Rapidly blinking lights may cause seizures.” Now that’s freaky, man!

7. Geri Haliwell’s Yoga DVD

What the?! Baby Spice has her own yoga DVD!?  Apparently, some time this year Geri Haliwell, the former Spice Girl, came out with a yoga DVD entitled “Geri Yoga”.  According to last week’s edition of the U.K.’s The Daily Mail, “Geri Yoga” was ranked one of the year’s ten worst celebrity fitness DVDs. Skip this one, Bub.

6. Man Yogi Shorts

Can’t figure out what to get your favorite Man Yogi? I know, Man Yogis are notoriously hard to shop for.  In part because there is not a whole lot out there geared specifically to men.  And what is out there can be a little…confusing. I can just imagine you searching for that perfect gift for said Man Yogi, it’s a little late at night, too much web surfing is making you a little nutty (pardon the pun) and you just don’t know what looks good anymore.  What I’m trying to say is…those little speedo-ish yoga shorts you’re contemplating? No. Guys shouldn’t wear sausage casings to a yoga class. Period. Why? Let me set the stage: crowded class + prasarita padottanasana (a.k.a. wide-legged forward fold) = I think you get the idea.

5. Cat Yoga Stuff

I can imagine your dilemma. Your favorite Yogini really loves her cat. She also really loves yoga. Here’s the thing: the two things often collide in very creepy ways. Remember the whole dogs playing poker painting? Kind of like that. So this year, leave the yogi cat thing off of your list of things to get her for Christmas.

4.  Dog Yoga Stuff

You can pretty much apply everything I said above to dog yoga things.  Sorry.

3. Doga Gift Certificate

And for that matter, “doga“.  Your boyfriend’s local yoga studio offers “doga” – partner yoga for people and their…dogs. Skip it, and opt instead for a 10-class package…for people.
2. F*CK YOGA Flip Flops

Okay, I personally think these flip flops are awesome.  However, some yogis are verrrrrrry serious. And unless your yogi has a wicked sense of humor, take these bad boys off the list.

1. Yoga Snail

I’m not even sure what it is, but its the creepiest thing I’ve seen in years.  Steer clear.
So, yogis, what did I leave off of the list?  What yoga gifts should your loved ones steer clear of?  For that matter, what are you hoping to see under the tree this year? Better comment now, Christmas is right around the corner!



About Birdie Greenberg

Birdie Greenberg has been a struggling yogi since the summer of 2004, when she was stressing herself out studying to pass the bar exam. In an effort to chill her out, her mom dragged her flapping and squawking into her first yoga class. She never looked back. Four years later, she became a Registered Yoga Teacher with Temple of Kriya Yoga in Chicago. Birdie lives and works in Los Angeles, California. And when she's not yogaing or blogging, you'll probably find her hiking in the mountains with her handsome husband and her two beloved furballs. You can read more about her personal yoga journey at her blog, Yogi, interrupted.


22 Responses to “10 Horrible Yoga Gift Ideas.”

  1. YogaDawg says:

    Ha ha, good job (though I think you need to rethink your feelings regarding the dawg yoga stuff 🙂 Best!

  2. echo says:

    this was great!!! passing the list along, haha.

  3. Hardy har har! You are, of course, the only exception to #4. That goes without saying.

  4. cartier love says:

    It's so funny!! Thank you for sharing……

  5. cartier love says:

    haha ..well done!!!

  6. Tali says:

    That's not baby spice, that's ginger spice. I probably shouldn't admit to knowing that but lack of fact checking is bothersome.

  7. Oh dear! this had me cracking up!, very funny

  8. SKV says:

    @Tali – oh my god, I noticed too! The fact checking doesn't bother me so much… aren't the Spice Girls are all kinda the same?

  9. AngelaRaines says:

    Hilarious! And what the heck is that snail thing?? It's horrendous! Love this list, thanks!

  10. elephantjournal says:

    So funnny! Thanks, Birdie. ~ Lindsey B.

  11. yogiclarebear says:

    cute list, hehe! but, i really like the cat yoga stuff (hides with shame)

  12. really funny – I have not seen many of the gifts – praise the lord! Ha. ha.
    happy holidays.

  13. yogabird says:

    Thanks for the comments, everyone! Happy Holidays!

  14. […] 10 Horrible Yoga Gift Ideas by Birdie Greenberg […]

  15. James Hackney says:

    Geri Halliwell was "Ginger Spice", actually

  16. Thanks for a laugh! I was ready to see some of the products I sell but luckily you left them off. Still those glasses looked kind of cool….

  17. chad says:

    I think Bikram posed in his book in like Speedos or something. Let the men wear what they want in class, better short shorts than surfer baggies or biker shorts. Iyengar practically wears a thong a lot of the time. Hugger Mugger makes nice "safe" yoga shorts for men, although they look a little like Depends or pull-up diapers.

  18. samantha says:

    OMG… this is soooooo funny!!! Thanks for the laugh 🙂

  19. I was kinda hoping someone would give me the inappropriate neti pot/ stinky mat combo! But yeah, the snail is out of the question. He's disgusting.

  20. […] to start with 10 Horrible Yoga gift ideas! It’s a pretty funny […]

  21. FizzyLizzie says:

    Awwww, I love my dog yoga calendars, and having one up on the wall with all the benefits of the poses helps me learn too.