21 Loving Ways To Make A New Friend

Via Tanya Lee Markul
on Mar 10, 2011
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So You Wanna Be My Friend?

It can be pretty darn hard to make a new friend in the fast paced world that most of us live in.

I’ve read that people with friends tend to live longer, feel better about themselves, are more motivated to go out and try new things and have a more compassionate disposition about the world. There are many situations that can make us feel isolated (depression, grief, having a baby, working too many hours, moving to a new neighborhood, shyness, inertia, etc), but no matter what, it’s worth doing what it takes to make a friend.

Friends make us feel supported, give us affection, they bring us good times and make us feel worthwhile. And, the best part is we can give it all back.

1. Use social networks (or don’t use them). Find ways to connect with old classmates, old roommates, old colleagues or other local newbies on and off the Internet.

2. Joining a dating or singles website or group. There ain’t no shame!

3. Try something you’ve never done before. Audition for a play, do a detox retreat, organize a Pillow Fight Club (yes, it’s real), take new style of yoga class. Heck, I’ve just learned about Hillybilly Yoga and the downward facing hound dog!

4. Invite a fellow yogi for a cup of tea after yoga class. Not always easy, I know, but I’ve been to quite a few studios where they serve tea or the studio is situated close to a café. I’m sure if you are a usual to a class that you also know who the other usuals are.

5. Look up when walking down the street. Are you observing what’s around you or are you going through your to-do list or creating artificial conversations in your head? Take your headphones off, look up, check people out and see who’s out there.

6. Make eye contact. Don’t be shy. Say hello, thank you, whatever, and make polite eye contact.

7. Smile more and have a positive attitude. Positive energy attracts everyone! A smile can even be felt over the phone! I’ve read that 86% of people say that they are more likely to strike up conversations with strangers if they are smiling.

8. Say ‘yes’ to things more often. Next time someone asks you to do something, do it. Don’t make an excuse, just say YES. Haven’t you seen ‘The Yes Man’?


9. Hang out at a coffee shop. Coffee shops are great place for all sorts of people all caffeine-ed up and ready for convo.

10. Join a book club. Even if you don’t like to read, just hang out, add your two cents, make something nice and share it.

11. Volunteer. Local library, meals on wheels, animal shelters, soup kitchens, senior centers and the zillion other community activities that take place. If not, make one up.

12. Go to a seminar or workshop. Take a weekend meditation or yoga workshop or go listen to an inspirational speaker.

13. Learn a new craft. Take an art class, learn to crotchet, knit, paint, write – the opportunities are endless.

14. Get a new job or a part-timer. If you can manage, change locations, apply for a new role, work part-time at a café or the library.

15. Join a support group. Breastfeeding, mothers-to-be, natural childbirth, new mothers, OK, there’s more than just mommy and baby support groups.

16. Take a night class at a local community college. Love math? Go for it. Always wished you taken that last sociology class? Do it.

17. Take a first aid and/or CPR course. Hey, good to know if the need should ever arise.

18. Steal friends from other friends. Why not?!

19. Meet your neighbors. Been living in your apartment or house for a year and still don’t know your neighbors? Bake something and get your booty over there.

20. Carpool. Help the environment and have a chitchat to and from work AND save on gas!

21. Talk to everyone and anyone. Chances are you have some really good stuff to say and share and there’s someone out there looking to do the same.


About Tanya Lee Markul

Luring the magic of what is natural back into our daily lives, Tanya Markul is a freer of creativity, of inner beauty + power, and an enthusiastic igniter of the wild spirit! She re-writing the wild flower sutras, and offers a refreshing & badass view on spirituality, wellness & authentic living. Sensitivity is her tree trunk, flower stem, and nucleus. It is her belly, and her heart. Tanya is an artist of life, a faery of trees, a wanderer of the dark, a writer of heart, a misfit yogini, and an Urban Priestess apprentice. She believes in the power of your personal weird, quirky, magic, and that only path toward inner freedom & light, is through the dark — eyes closed, heart open. Tanya is the creator of The Urban Howl, Yoga Write Now & Waking Wild. Join her free forum for monthly yoga & writing practices here. Join her free forum for 30 days of exercise for 30 days here. Join her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter & get her free weekly & quirky newsletter here.


11 Responses to “21 Loving Ways To Make A New Friend”

  1. A friend mentioned to me another suggestion: attending an art or music show as there are always like-minded people there. 🙂 Thanks Kevin! 🙂

  2. LOVE this. I'm going to use these techniques more often. Thanks for this article. I'm going to send it to some of my enemies. Maybe they will be my friends afterwards.

  3. Thanks James!! And, do it — what a good idea!! Who could be your enemy anyways?! 🙂

  4. Bud Wilson says:

    Thanks Tanya, Like 'em – with perhaps the exception of # 18! … the "why not" – because it just doesn't embody the spirit of friendship and human kindness… is that enough of a Why Not for you to reconsider? 🙂

    You could encourage folks to join our World Nature Quest here: http://worldnaturequest.org and learn to make friends with the Earth again… what a concept!

  5. Thanks so much Christina! 🙂 xoxo 🙂

  6. Hi Bud! Thanks for your comments and I appreciate your feedback on #18! But, I suppose if you have some really good friends, they won't mind if you make friends with their friends (maybe the word 'steal' is a bit harsh?! 🙂

    And, yes, we should all definitely learn to make friends with the Earth – why not?! 😉 😉 🙂

    Much love,

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  9. Denise says:

    Awesome article Tawny!!! Looking forward to reading more of your writings.

    Love Aunt Denise

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