“Women don’t Lie.” ~ Anonymous

Via elephant journal
on May 9, 2011
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This article comes via the mother of a longtime friend of mine, who I and many of us know to be a gentle bear of a man, far kinder and sweeter than me or just about anyone I know..! We here at elephant are happy to support this important dialogue. I would only ask that we conduct any discussion in a respectful manner, given the many painful and troubling questions it invites. We must all remember that while you and I are free to bike around and work and eat lunch and take our dogs for walks, friends of ours may be stuck in similar situations as the below. Right or wrong, this is a situation that calls for compassion and insight. ~ Waylon Lewis, ed.

I cannot tell you my name because what I am about to talk about is an ongoing legal matter. I will tell you that I am a feminist. That I fought for the rights of women to be believed. I worked for a rape crisis center in the 80s. I helped organize and participated in Take Back the Night events. I am friends with therapists and activists who have worked tirelessly for the rights of women and children. I was sexually abused as a child, and it defined my life for a number of years.

I am also a mother. I have raised a beautiful son, now a beautiful, caring man. He is honorable and strong. He has a deep spiritual practice. He is a man sensitive to the needs of women. Because of my involvement in “the movement” and because at some point he became aware of my own painful history, he is empathetic to women who have been abused.

Last year a woman, we’ll call her Sarah, accused my son of attempted sexual assault. She said, she thinks he tried to rape her. She and my son had been dating for a couple of months, but mostly they were consoling each other, I think. He, brokenhearted over the recent breakup of a long term relationship, she, confused over her on again, off again boyfriend who didn’t treat her very well.

This woman was also feeling a lot of conflict between her purported Christian beliefs and being attracted to two men. Discussions with her therapist didn’t help because, as she told my son, (let’s call him Robert), the therapist said, “what’s wrong with being attracted to two men?” But she couldn’t deal with that, and came to Robert’s house and told him she didn’t want to see him anymore. It wasn’t quite as clear cut as that because she lay down on the bed with Robert and there was flirting and fondling before she came to her decision. When she did, Robert agreed, and got up, walked her to the door. They hugged and he walked her to her car.

I know a lot of this because my son and I are friends. He had reservations about this relationship and had voiced his concerns to me. Sarah had told him that her father had abused her as a child and she had been in therapy for a long time. She had been on serious medications for bi-polar disorder for most of that time. Last summer while they were dating, she decided to get off of her meds. She told Robert she was experiencing blackouts. “Is that normal?” she would ask him. She had exhibited some strange behavior through the course of their relationship, but he had great empathy. I think seeing this reflected his own damaged soul and mine. But he was relieved when she called it off.

I have talked to therapists about bi-polar disorder, the meds that treat it and what happens when a person goes off those meds without a doctor’s supervision. None of it is good. One therapist I talked to said that false accusations skyrocket when someone decides to go cold-turkey. But because of rape shield laws that have been in place since the early 80s and because of defense lawyers’ fear of seeming to be “victim bashing,” these things more than likely will not be brought up. Nor can we bring up her litigious nature and her perception that a lot of other people, including a massage therapist, are out to hurt her.

That was the last of it for a month and then she began to think that Robert had ‘tried’ to rape her. She contacted the police. A policewoman wired her up and had her call Robert at 9pm one night. I have seen the transcript of that call and through the words on the page you can feel her desperation as she begs Robert to admit to something, anything that will “prove” her allegations.

You can hear Robert’s bewilderment as he denies over and over again her false accusations. At one point, he calls her sweetie (as he calls all his close friends), “Sweetie, I know you’re in pain.”

Despite no evidence, despite the fact that she is obviously a troubled woman, despite other attempts by her in the past to accuse people of hurting her in some way, despite her own admissions of wanting to sue others still, despite my son’s spotless record and the support of myriad women who have known him for years, the state has chosen to pursue this “case.”

If you think that women don’t lie to get back at men, how naive can you be? Yet we live in a culture of “women don’t lie,” a culture fostered by women’s groups since the 70s. A culture I helped create and support. A philosophy I believed.

Because why would women lie? The process of coming forward, going through the legal system was so horrific, so humiliating, why in the world would a woman put herself through it?

But that was then. Then, sexual abuse was hidden and women were maligned and humiliated if they dared come forward. And strong, brave women stood up for the rights of their children and themselves.

Now there are women’s groups with a strong political voice. There are women in political office, policewomen, and so on. Men and women now are predisposed to believe women when they accuse someone of rape. It is sometimes a knee jerk reaction that we have not evaluated for its veracity. We have not wanted to hear that women sometimes lie. The system has supported all women even those who lie. They’ve made it easy for them. If it is proven that a woman has lied, they are not prosecuted. They are at most sent to counseling. And being a “victim” can be intoxicating to some. It can let them off the hook for being responsible for their own actions.

But who is going to protect our sons? We who were on the front lines in the 70s when things were bad for women, we have raised good sons. Men we are proud of. Who will stand up for them?

I am now appalled to think that I was one of these women who thought that women don’t lie…and where there smoke there’s always a fire. Despite having raised a beautiful son, I was a sexist. Then I started doing research. There have been studies done since the 80s citing the percentage of rape allegations that are false.  Some studies say as high as 60%. People who have been dealing with this for years have tried to tell us that women do lie. But we haven’t wanted to hear.

(I will quote these studies but will not footnote them. They are listed at the end of this article.)

In a 1996 study published by the U.S. Department of Justice, “Convicted by Juries, Exonerated by Science” Peter Neufeld and Barry C Scheck co-founders of the Innocence Project stated:

“Every year since 1989, in about 25 percent of the sexual assault cases referred to the FBI where results could be obtained, the primary suspect has been excluded by forensic DNA testing… These percentages have remained constant for 7 years.”

Colorado’s own Craig Silverman, a former Denver DA and a zealous prosecutor of rapists, was also critical of what he calls the “politically correct victims advocate’s view” held by many prosecutors who want to “always believe the woman.” Silverman states:

“During my time as a prosecutor who made case filing decisions, I was amazed to see all the false rape allegations that were made to the Denver Police Department.  It was remarkable and surprising to me.  You would have to see it to believe it.  Any honest veteran sex assault investigator will tell you that rape is one of the most falsely reported crimes that there is. A command officer in the Denver police sex assaults unit recently told me he placed the false rape numbers at approximately 45 percent.”

Feminist rhetoric has merely replaced the old stereotypes. Now instead of being humiliated and scorned when we come forward, we are welcomed with an all-encompassing “Women Don’t Lie.”

“Due to the institutionalization of feminist ideology within the legal system – along with the political correctness that pervades our society – a lot of men have been defamed, imprisoned and/or fined due to the false accusations that were made against them by women.  For this reason, a lot of Divorce lawyers encourage their female clients to falsely accuse their husbands of rape, child abuse and/or domestic violence.” – Aaron Larsen

We have systematically refused to consider the possibility that women lie. We have even attacked those who wanted to discuss the possibility. Law professor Alan Dershowitz reports that he was accused of sexual harassment for discussing in his law class the possibility of false rape allegations. Some colleges with speech codes have equated talk of false rape allegations with “discriminatory harassment.”

Why would women lie?

Why wouldn’t women lie? They lie to protect themselves, to alleviate guilt, or because they are delusional. They lie because they can. For all the reasons that people lie, women lie.

“Empirical evidence does not support the widespread belief that women are extremely unlikely to make false accusations of male sexual misconduct. Rather the research on accusations of rape, sexual harassment, incest and child sexual abuse indicates that false accusations have become a serious problem. The motivations involved in making a false report are widely varied and include confusion, outside influence from therapists and others, habitual lying, advantages in custody, disputes, financial gain and the political ideology of radical feminism.” – Frank S. Zepezauer

But there is another reason women lie about rape. Rape is a deeply personal crime. Some women even harbor rape fantasies. Falsely accusing a man of rape can be deeply satisfying because it is sexual and even romantic. And it cuts to the heart of a male/female relationship. In his paper, Patients Who Make False Accusations, Dr. Richard C. W. Hall cites a particular case in which:

“We talked to a young borderline woman, who reported that she had made allegations to her county medical society that her psychiatrist had been sexually inappropriate with her. She reported that she was angry at him, that he had not given her the attention that she wanted, and that she made up the charges to get even. Although she candidly reported that he had never touched her, she said that she ‘was sure that he wanted to.’”

I have watched my son for 40 years. I have watched him grow from boy to man. I have seen him in his interactions with women and men. I have marveled at his sensitivity, his empathy. Many times I have thought, “Wow, he is a feminist’s dream. A man who listens. Who cares. Who is strong and deeply spiritual. A man who can be a woman’s friend. Who can comfort another in time of need. He is truly a good and decent man.

But if you would discount the word of a mother, what about all the women in his life? The girlfriend that has known him since high school to his most recent girlfriend? All have come forward on his behalf. All have remained his steadfast friend even after their romantic relationship ended.

And what of the word of their parents who have come forward? Including two psychotherapists who work with battered women. What of the casual dating partners and friends from far and wide, both male and female who have all come forward on his behalf? They too have spoken out for him. This man is not capable of doing this thing.

Never have I been to visit him that someone did not congratulate me on raising such a fine man.

Our good men are being harmed. This good man is being harmed.

“Due to immense pressure from rabid feminists, the state was placed in the position of convicting as many accused rapists as possible, or face an onslaught of abuse from second-wave-feminists….” – Aaron Larsen

The current climate in Colorado appears to be: Try them all. Let God sort them out. I have been told that there are political reasons for that. Reasons that have nothing to do with the validity of a particular case but with the fear of an attack by an opponent in an election. The District Attorney is an elected official. But doesn’t the state have better things to do than try meritless cases? Isn’t there a voice of reason somewhere?

Dr. Richard C. W. Hall in his paper, Patients Who Make False Allegations, The Role of the Forensic Psychiatrist, has created a checklist for the evaluation of patients’ allegations. It follows:

1)    Is accuser creditable?

2)    Is story consistent and believable?

3)    Is there a motive for revenge or mischief?

4)    Have other allegations been made previously?  Does a pattern of allegations exist?

5)    Has the patient been counseled in their charges by some professional who has a vested interest?

6)    Is there any physical evidence of misdeed?

7)    What is the reputation of the accused?

8)    How does the accused respond to the charges?

9)    Are there issues of custody, property settlement, divorce, or suit involved?

10) Is there a history of personality disorder – antisocial, narcissistic, borderline – in either party?

11) Is there a history of alcohol or substance abuse in either party?

If the state were to apply this or any reasonable checklist to the allegations against my son, this “case” would have gone in the trash bin months ago, we wouldn’t be out thousands of dollars, countless sleepless nights and the feeling that the system simply doesn’t work.

If anyone can accuse a good man of something like this and cause him so much grief, then what has our system become? The terms rape, sexual assault, sexual abuse have become so ubiquitous as to be meaningless (although still very much emotionally charged).  We have cast such a wide net that laws and statutes that were devised to protect us from the worst of the worst, the serial rapists, sexual predators and pedophiles are now being used to punish men who urinate near school yards or a boyfriend who takes the arm of his inebriated girlfriend to get her out of a party.

An article titled Feminists Fallacies Hurt Police Training states:

“If every incident between a man and a woman can be framed as a prelude to an atrocity, then all men can be branded as predators. The error in logic, that all men are potential rapists, allows feminists to link attitudes and behaviors for which there is NO connection and allows them to condemn the mild-mannered man given to the occasional caustic comment to sharing an axis with O.J. Simpson.”

That is not to say that there are not terrible crimes committed against women and children every day. According to Believe Her! The Woman Never Lies Myth, Frank Zepezauer says:

“This growing gap – between the  anguish suffered by the victims of traditionally defined sex crimes and what is suffered by victims of ideologically defined crimes – suggests that the crisis we face is not the result of a sexual misconduct epidemic but of the crisis mentality itself, an ever more hysterical vision of a ‘rape culture.’”

This hysterical crisis mentality has created a gap between our awareness of the now highly visible victims of sexual misconduct and the almost invisible victims of false allegation. The lesser known victims have their own stories to tell, enough to reveal another long ignored injustice that demands remediation. False allegations of sexual misconduct have deprived a rapidly growing number of men and women of their reputations, their fortunes, their children, their livelihood and their freedom. Wasting the time and money of families and communities, and have left some so desperate that they have taken their own lives.

Zepezauer concludes:

“For that reason, in the current revision of our sexual misconduct code, we must retain as a guiding premise the realization that women can lie because we know that, for several reasons, more than a few women have lied, more often than idealogues have admitted….too often, in any event, to be ignored by our jurisprudence, feminist or otherwise.”

It’s time that we admitted what is right in front of us. Not every woman tells the truth and not every man is a potential rapist.

Please someone, tell the State of Colorado.

~

Sources used in this article:

MND, mensnewsdaily.com, “During My Time as a Prosecutor I was Amazed to See all the False Rape Allegations that Were Made.”

North Shore News, Alana Mercer, “Feminist Fallacies Hurt Police Training?

Men’s Rights Online, Aaron Larsen, “False Accusation Issues”

Dr. Richard C. W. Hall Publications, Dr. Richard C. W. Hall, “Patients Who Make False Allegations”

Salon Newsreel, Cathy Young, Who Says WomenNever Lie About Rape?”

FoxNews.com, Wendy McElroy, “False Rape Accusations May Be More Common Than Thought”

IPT Journal, Frank S. Zepezauer, “Believe Her! The Woman Never Lies Myth”

Richardwebster.net, Richard Webster, “False Allegations: End This Cruel Injustice”

AND

The Witchcraft Trials in Salem:  A Commentary by Douglas Linder

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Comments

314 Responses to ““Women don’t Lie.” ~ Anonymous”

  1. Robin Juhl says:

    Ellen says: “dangerously uniformed generalizations and conclusions.”

    Like the “all men are rapists” and “all sex is rape” that was so popular among the “feminists” not so long ago?

    Yes, I know what rape does, because I have grown close to two different ladies who over the years have shared their stories. But too man “feminists” give a rats behind when a man is falsely accused.

    False rape accusations, like rape, RUIN lives. The accuser’s name is withheld while the man’s is blasted. That, too, is wrong.

    Both rape and false accusation of rape should have the same punishment, once proven!

  2. atlas says:

    increasingly, i'm coming to believe that government is so supportive of feminism since it can be used as a convenient political tool that publicly can be rationalized to strip away our civil liberties, divide and conquer the sexes and families, create conditioners where even more people seek jobs, increase consumer spending and taxation, politically intimidate and financially oppress men, and vastly expand the size and power of government.

  3. Meintoo says:

    My son has been on Colorado’s sex offender registry for over 12 years – almost half his life – because of a false accusation.

    It gets worse for him as time goes on, not better.

    Time heals all wounds – except this one. A false rape accusation is the gift that keeps on giving – you can never escape the incessant punishment.

    I have had to talk him down several times over the years from ending it all. The police harassment,trying to apply for jobs, neighbors acting like Ted Bundy has just moved in next door. Barred from seeing his son from threats of another false accusation.

    I too, raised a good son. He is young, yet his life is essentially over. With all the new laws and sex offender hysteria mounting, it’s only a matter of time before he ends it, or someone ends it for him.

    I tried telling people this was happening years ago, and was met with ugly derision and even threats.

    If I knew then what I know now, I would have taken my son and fled this country – except this is getting to be a world wide epidemic.

    God help the innocent. God help those falsely accused.

  4. guest says:

    I am shocked by these comments, by Kimberly Johnson, why are you shocked? If you think that being falsely accused of rape is NOT a heinous crime, then, what?. I personally witnessed a terrible travesty of justice involving a woman who put her 2 daughters on the stand to accuse her ex-husband of YEARS of abuse (odd that nothing was ever reported), and he got dishonorably discharged from the military of 19 years lost a big piece of pension (that she would have half of) and damn near went to Leavenworth! Of course after it was all over, both daughters recanted and said their mother put them up to it (to which she admitted), and the mother served NO jail time! I bet that this man (who is now known as a sex offender by the state, and has spent a lot of time trying to get this erased from his record), really thinks it is great he has been put in the position of not being around his daughters for his protection due to false allegations. Yeah real funny.
    For far too long the specter of false allegations concerning rape/abuse/molestation has been swept under the rug, and as a result many people are adopting a "prove it" attitude, and it does suck for the people who have been raped/abused/molested. However, why does the false allegations of these charges NOT result in prison time (like 5-10 years)?
    To the author, I will say this, maybe it's time to become an advocate of jail time for ALL who are guilty of false allegations, not just women. So Kimberly, why is it so hard to understand many people are sick of being screwed around and lied about?

  5. Ashley says:

    I'm appalled by the maliciousness of these comments. As a rape survivor I am nervous to post here at all for fear of your unmitigated hatred, even though I was the victim of that crime and not the perpetrator. It saddens me that there are false reports of rape. It also saddens me that a forum to discuss our response to sexual assault has become so aggressive and blaming.

    I am disturbed if this is representative of the elephant community. I'm also disturbed that the moderator is only policing the feedback directed toward his friend.

  6. david says:

    NO Kimberly, we are NOT suggesting that women should not have a voice. You are being histrionic and combative.

    We are suggesting that you are part of a political mechanism that basically assumes that men are all perps. Let's see your cred here – how long did it take you to acknowledge that the Duke rape case was a lie? Did you believe the lying stripper until the bitter end?

    Should women who lie about rape be punished?

    I know what you are thinking deep down, something like "sure a few innocent men may go to prison, but we gals have to stick together".

    Well, use guys are going to take a page from that playbook and stick together as well. All you have accomplished is to solidify my suspicion of womens' intellectual honesty on this issue.

  7. david says:

    Kimberly-

    Here's the big lesson in all this – you and your type are losing this political battle, big time. And all the whining in the world will not change that.

    Ellen-

    I USED to believe that all those rapes were real. But I have seen so many false accusations successfully prosecuted, that I think that you are just a big dupe who listens to women craft their lies. You believe them out of an act of FAITH in your fellow women.

    There are hundreds of innocent men in prison because some emotionally-challenged women decided that he "deserved" to be punished.

    Feminists have institutionalized and made legitimate female lying.

  8. Jennifer says:

    Ashely, I am with you. The massive hatred on both sides of the argument is overwhelming. I also agree with Waylon at the beginning of the article where he asks that we have compassion. I believe that means compassion towards all parties. I am a victim of child-hood sexual abuse, and have been studying psychology and mental disorders in school working towards my bachelor’s so that I can counsel. I think that compassion should be extended to the men who are so horribly impacted by being falsely accused and to the women who are dealing with massive mental disorders.
    All these comments prove is that we are still separated (us against the world) which is a huge boost to our egos (by which I am referring to the yogic concept of the ego; the ego is all about survival and acts from fear, not compassion) When we react out of fear, there is no room for compassion. I believe the revolution of our society is not about fighting, or refusing to understand the other side of an argument, or reading/listening to comments with the express purpose of responding instead of understanding. The revolution of our society will come when we learn to love the unlovable and pardon the unpardonable.

  9. gus3 says:

    As a survivor of multiple false accusations of sexual harassment, I’ll say to the “feminists”: Welcome to the unintended consequences of your demands. By demanding more credence to the accusers, you’ve elevated the sociopaths in your ranks, at the expense of your own sons, your own flesh and blood. I hope you’re happy.

    To those not yet falsely accused, I’ll offer this advice: Expose the career “victim” quickly. Don’t let yourself be put on the defensive. Instead, put the investigators themselves (the false accuser’s tools) on the defensive, and demand impartial evidence of wrong-doing, or else a total retraction of the accusation.

    And to those women who have had to deal with real crimes, real attacks, real assaults: I’m sorry that your accounts are met with skepticism, but you have this article’s author and her ilk to thank.

  10. HMLewis says:

    I think it is important to note, that while there are certainly false accusations of rape in which there was no rape (or assault). Some of the instances that are falling under this supposed 60% seem to be cases in which the wrong person was accused, not cases in which nothing happened. This doesn't make a woman a liar. If someone is later exonerated by DNA evidence, because the technology is not available before, it does not mean that the woman lied about the rape, but instead misidentified her attacker. The incidence of misidentification, as in any crime, is highly elevated when they perpetrator is of different race than the victim and/or witness. Studies have shown that people often, maybe even the majority of the time, misidentify a suspect when that suspect is a different race. It doesn't make an accuser a liar.

  11. hmLewis says:

    The vast majority of women never make false claims, so this silver bullet you speak of is rather ridiculous.

  12. HMLewis says:

    Multiple false accusations by multiple women? Did this all happen at once, or over the course of years? If it is the latter, then I say that maybe you should watch what you say. You may not think you were being sexual or perverse, but your words deemed otherwise.

    As someone who has been sexually harassed on a regular basis since I was 11 years old (early bloomer). I can attest that what some people say in fun, or whisper behind others backs, is certainly hurtful, uncomfortable, and is sexual harassment. And, it's not just men that do it either. In fact, the only person I ever reported for sexual harassment was a woman in the work place. In my experience, men have usually kept their harassment of me in school or out on the town.

    If however, it all happened to you at once, then I can more readily see that it was some sort of gang-up on you for some "revenge" of some sort.

  13. guest says:

    I don't doubt for a second that you are correct about the mis-identification. However, if t really does
    no good once the accused gets "into the system". Why is there NOT a vehicle for erasing these wrongful charges form "the system" and all other related systems? Exactly, how do you safeguard the falsely accused, the damage has been done.
    And as for punishment, i think it SHOULD happen in provable cases, but I doubt it will happen. For false accusations there should be jail time, because if this is all about justice for the person who is raped/molested, why should there not be justice for the falsely accused. Even if exonerated the falsely accused will bear the stain of this more than likely the rest of their life. Rape should be punished harshly, but should false accusations.

  14. guest says:

    I hate to say this, but, the question that comes to my mind, is that now, that the original author has had this land on her doorstep, will she show the same tireless dedication to punish those that falsely accuse (specifically to done maliciously)? Or will she just "go back to sleep" once this problem is resolved?(if it ever is)
    My other question is, if this had not landed on her doorstep (via her son's "friend"), would she have even bothered to realize there was a problem?
    .

  15. guest says:

    Compassion huh? Well, instead of compassion why not try justice? You state that you think that compassion should be extended to men who are horribly impacted by this false accusation? Horribly impacted, try RUINED, I am not interested in the "compassion", I am interested in justice! When a person gets 'ruined" (and there are quite a few ways this happens) how do they seek redress? Are the supposed to "suck it up, and deal with it"?
    Here's a question, just what is supposed to be said to a person who is falsely accused, , and then new evidence shows this person was not guilty? What do you say, sorry, MY BAD? Really do you pay their legal bill, replace their good name, tell me what? And "us against the world", really? Then i guess YOU are the one that drew that line.
    For the people who have suffered rape/molestation/child abuse, I extend my sympathies, but, if you trash somebody wrongly, there should be a penalty for you. And the people who do this because they are mentally ill/disturbed/dazed and confused, they deserve no better than jail time if they falsely accuse someone. Harsh
    but, with an accusation like this, you had better be right.

  16. atlas says:

    meintoo wrote of the feminist's silver bullet nether stating anything about the majority. the comment of yours is ridiculous.

  17. gus3 says:

    “Multiple accusations over multiple years” translates to multiple accusations in college, where three girls (I refuse to call them by any term denoting adulthood) decided, at separate times, that my public statements, in classrooms and in the student newspaper, were offensive to their pro-victim sensibilities.

    Oh, and don’t forget the female manager eight years later, who decided that my asking her what her wonderful perfume was, constituted sexual harassment. Another career victim, only this time, I told the company they needed to show clear cause for the accusation. They couldn’t, and their HR director told the two managers involved that they had to drop the matter.

    I refuse to play the game by their rules, when those rules are designed to make me a loser by default. You say my words “deemed otherwise”? No, YOU deemed my words otherwise, without even knowing what those words were. That makes you complicit in their false accusations against me, equally ready as they to presume me guilty.

    The end result of that thinking, is exactly what this article is all about.

  18. guest says:

    Good God! That poor teacher. This is a perfect example of a travesty of justice. This man and his family have been royally screwed over by his employer, the whole investigative process, and the accuser. This is a stain that will never go completely away, and on top of it all, his employer sure comes across as having an agenda to get rid of him. Cowards, nothing but gutless cowards, all of the ones involved who put this family through this.
    Now, with the above being said, exactly who will pay for this screw-up, the child (not a chance, nor her parents), the cops/prosecutor (that will be a cold day in hell), his employer for screwing him around (unlikely, unless they really get stupid and he gets a good lawyer) and then the TAXPAYER will foot the bill for their mistakes.
    More peoples lives/reputations screwed over, and, with his legal bill and gutless employers game playing this is not over for this family. I guess that "nobody really" is responsible.
    Here is a start, sue the parents, that's right, sue the parents. As they are legally responsible for the underage child, let them get drug through the system and face the consequences/legal bills, just like this teacher and his family, but I sincerely doubt that will happen. Unfortunately, unless somebody takes them to task, then you can forget about personal responsibility.

  19. Paul Elam says:

    I am sorry to hear of your troubles, especially for your son. As a writer in the men’s movement one of the first pieces I wrote was an appeal to women to consider the fact that misandric feminism would not spare their sons or other men they love.

    http://www.avoiceformen.com/2010/04/02/a-message-to-women/

    This is not an “I told you so.” It is a “I wish you had listened.”

    I hope, through the difficulties you now face, that you keep working to help other people listen.

  20. Render says:

    Actually, the 60% number comes from the military, if I recall correctly. You see, they aren't allowed to refuse a polygraph. The 60% number of false accusations is because of the number of recanted accusations when faced with a polygraph demand.

  21. Eoghan says:

    You say you spent time fighting for a womans right to be believed and organizing take back the night rallies…. the reason that women are treated with suspicion is that women lie about rape, abuse and victim hood, take back the night works by presenting a false and exaggerated reality about rape, in other words feminists groups lie about rape to the public.

    The famous 2% or rape accusations are false, is also another feminist lie.

    II. AT THE HEART OF THE TWO PERCENT FALSE CLAIM FIGURE
    A. The Overwhelming Consensus
    One highly respected legal academic, elected by her peers as
    president of the prestigious Association of American Law Schools,
    recently reported that “the overwhelming consensus in . . . research
    relying on government data is that false reports account for only
    about 2 percent of rape complaints.”
    9
    It is indisputably true that,
    largely through the efforts of legal dominance feminists, there now
    exists a consensus among legal academics that only two percent of
    rape complaints are false.
    10
    This purportedly empirical statement is
    ubiquitously repeated in legal literature. Dozens of law review
    articles reiterate that no more than one in fifty rape complaints is
    false.
    11
    This empirical fact, however, is an ideological fabrication.
    12
    http://ncfm.org/libraryfiles/Children/rape/greer….

    If feminism wasn't to put the idea that women lie about rape and abuse to bed, a better approach would be to go after the women that do lie, and not lying about rape in order to achieve its goals.

  22. Guest says:

    Off the topic of rape and accusations but OT with lying – How about the lie "it's your baby"? Let's paternity test every child and see just how truthful women can be 🙂

  23. AntZ says:

    Feminist cries for protection have resulted in laws making paternity testing illegal in many parts of the world. For example, New York state prohibits paternity testing, as does all of Britain.

  24. AntZ says:

    "I have video and audio equipment I control running. "

    Most US states allow recording equipment in your home. Most US states do NOT allow recording equipment outside of your home, unless you have consent of all parties.

    I have a recording of a woman that I dated 13 years ago, calmly stating that if I ever left her, she would accuse me of domestic violence and rape. Later, I recorded her holding the phone, threatening to call police, and hitting herself on the lips with the phone receiver hard enough to draw blood. All the time she is saying, "do you think anyone will believe you NOW?"

    She called the police, falsely accused me, and my illegal recording saved my behind (I paid the rent, but the apartment was leased in her name).

  25. AntZ says:

    Hello karma.

    As you know, my mother is a bigoted sexist feminist. She and her coven of man-haters cooked up countless ways to humiliate and dehumanize men — and then they tested their cruelties on their male children.

    I would welcome any one of these horrible women, if they chose to renounce thier hate movement and fight for the MRM.

    This is a war in which we MRM have far fewer soldiers than the enemy. We cannot afford to be picky.

  26. KARMA MRA MGTOW says:

    So you are saying the women that lie about rape -somehow in your warped little female brain – help the women that DO NOT LIE ABOUT RAPE.

    Okkkkkkkkkkkkkay then……

  27. dude says:

    There is a problem with the women in this culture. part one

    Yes, I know, there are problems with men, too. Believe me, I have heard about them for the last forty years. Some of it true and fair, much of it neither. It was a necessary dialogue just the same. So is this.

    To understand this we need a brief look at history. Women, in the past, were denied voting rights, couldn’t own land and didn’t have much access to employment that would give them the freedom to make it on their own.

    This needed to change, and of course, did, as can be confirmed with a cursory glance at the world around you. I laud those changes. But the problem was in how we got here.

    The reality is that the gender roles of our history were traps for both men and women. Women were relegated to home and children; men to sacrificial roles as protectors and providers. It wasn’t a conspiracy. It was just a matter of survival, and for many thousands of years it worked quite well to that end.

    But once men made the environment safe enough for women to metaphorically "leave the cave," it was only natural and right that men change and allow that to happen.

    And ladies, we did.

    This is the simple but accurate truth of the matter. Men and women developed gender roles that facilitated the survival of the species. And once those roles were not necessary, they did begin the often complicated path to change.

    The problem here is that your knowledge of these historical events is largely shaped, convoluted rather, by feminism. Feminists taught you that your history with men was of unremitting evil; that you were chattel, slaves to men who held all power and shut you out with extreme intent. They even gave it a name.

    Patriarchy.

    It is a word that has become synonymous with oppression. But feminists were loathe to remind you that “Women and children first,” was the patriarchal mantra, and that much of the social norms, even when misguided, were a product of a code adopted for the sole purpose of preserving your life. It wasn't always fair, but the unfairness wasn't always yours. Men died by that code, and trained their sons to do the same.

    The fact that we still do is the subject for another essay.

    So what happened? As feminist distortions were increasingly embraced, and intertwined with the legitimate need for change, men did what they usually do. They reacted to the message and not the messenger and unblocked the entrance to that cave.

    Many of you spit on us on the way out. Many of you still do.

    It has to stop.

    This isn’t just about decency. And it is not just about the chasm of mistrust that separates us from each other, or the legions of the walking wounded from this godforsaken gender war. It is about our future. The vilification of men that you have accepted as appropriate now translates to catastrophe for our sons, for your sons.

    The problem is that what we say, think and feel about people invariably translates into what we actually do to them. Nowhere is this more evident than with our sons, in the here and now.

    If you take an honest look at the academic environment to which our boys are subjected, you will see that their masculinity itself is under attack with ideology that teaches them they are inherently flawed.

    Christina Hoff Sommers documented this in her highly recommended book "The War Against Boys." She writes, "The pedagogy is designed to valorize females, such as teaching history in a woman-centered way. Boys are to be inspired to revere Anita Hill and to “enjoy” quilting. At the same time, schools discourage activities that are natural and traditional to boys, such as playing ball together."

    She goes on to say, with sad accuracy, "Most parents have no idea what their children are facing in the gender-charged atmosphere of the public schools.”

  28. KARMA MRA MGTOW says:

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

  29. KARMA MRA MGTOW says:

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

  30. KARMA MRA MGTOW says:

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

  31. KARMA MRA MGTOW says:

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

  32. KARMA MRA MGTOW says:

    By Paul Elam

    Tomorrow, Monday, May 16th, from 11:00 a.m. to -12:00 noon, PDT, Steve Berkimer of the False Rape Society will be on Newstalk 1380 broadcasting from Southern California discussing false rape/sexual assault claims, with Andrew Pari, on his "Chasing the why" show. The show can be listened to live at http://tunein.com/radio/KOSS-1380-s26278/.

    A copy of the broadcast will be posted to FRS shortly afterward, which I will also steal and post in the sidebar here (if they let me).

    Way to go FRS! This movement is moving because of men like Steve and Pierce!

  33. KARMA MRA MGTOW says:

    You going to post a link or five?

    "only 25% of women " That's one in four you low IQ meat head!!

  34. KARMA MRA MGTOW says:

    All the time she is saying, "do you think anyone will believe you NOW?"

    2011 version….well honey there are thousands of viewers watching us on YouTube right now.

  35. dude says:

    You where VERY LUCKY.

  36. […] now says she was naive to believe that women don’t lie about rape. Writing on a blog called The Elephant she […]

  37. meinto says:

    I too have been rape, which, unlike YOU, the idea of someone making a false accusation MAKES ME MAD!

    How can you say you have "survived" rape, then whine and complain about these responses to being falsely accused? Ad if THAT isn't a form of rape!

    Yes. Ashley. You ARE disturbed.

  38. LeeReynolds says:

    "If we simply take more time before getting intimate–say two or three years, we are more likely to find out. People can't cover up their true selves that long."

    Anyone who wants to wait 2 or 3 years is already revealing their true self – sexually dysfunctional.

  39. Quartermain says:

    This is one of the biggest reasons, more and more men are withdrawing from women, and going their own way.

    When it becomes to men that interactions with women carry an overwhelming amount of risk with very extreme minimum of reward, more and more withdraw leading to a gulf between the sexes that may never be bridged.

  40. LeeReynolds says:

    Legitimate criticism is not "hatred of women."

    No one cares what you've got between your legs.

  41. LeeReynolds says:

    The problem here is not that women are bad, or that men are bad, but that our society has been poisoned by a flavor of Marxism that seeks to divide people up and set us at war with one another.

  42. Kimski says:

    I concur.
    The mother helped creating the system that is now engulfing the son.
    -How's that for maternal love?

  43. jillian says:

    i worked as an investigator for a very large public defender's office this past summer in which i sat in on a particular rape trial. our client was the man who had been accused of rape– his nephew was the one who accused him. my job was really fascinating because it put me at odds with my own stances; on several occasions, we represented men accused of rape. in this case–the one with the uncle/nephew–our client was completely innocent. he was found innocent. which brings me to my point: the conviction rate for rape is extremely low. for accusations of rape for a person that a woman has known for more than 24 hours, the conviction rate is only 35%. (good article here on statistics: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27825997/ns/health-wo

  44. david says:

    By the way, we only need to win over a majority of the men to change the political climate.

    We do not need single woman to side with us, even though there are many traditional women who fully acknowledge that feminism has destroyed the character of women and made them too risky to marry.

    Why am I so confident? Because I know that I can count on most feminists to maintain their stubborn, foolish attitude come what may. The inability or unwillingness of feminists to show even one ounce of conciliatory behavior means that they will eventually go too far and lose the support of all but the most willingly deluded.

    To all you women who keep falsely accusing men of "hate". You are no better than women who falsely accuse of rape:

    You have no moral code other than the desire to win at all costs. Men know that about you know and will avoid you, because you lack honor.

  45. C.K. says:

    Has it never occurred to you that the cops put a stop to a false accusation before it goes any further ? That perhaps the D.A. recognizes a false accusation when he or she sees one ? That perhaps juries know a liar when they see one ?

    Just think for a moment : Maybe the reason that you erroneously believe that so few "rapes" are punished is because there are a lot more false accusations than you want to believe.

  46. If you get to be anonymous, then so do I says:

    What gets me is not just the false rape accusation.

    It’s when I read a little deeper into this, and saw what had actually happened with the son she raised, the son called a “beautiful strong man” who was “sensitive to the needs of women”.

    He was being used as a Small Emergency Backup Guy and emotional tampon by a bipolar woman, and after a couple of months (months!) of “dating” her, he tried to break out of the friend zone, and all hell broke loose.

    I’m sorry, Ms., but you didn’t raise a “beautiful strong man”. You raised a cripple. I know you love him and wanted the best for him, but you have wronged him grievously.

    You spent too much time worrying about the wrongs he might commit, rather than about the wrongs he might suffer. You have taught him not to assert himself, not to stand up for himself, not to be a man.

    This is why he has to date emotional cripples. Because healthy women want healthy men, masculine men who will challenge them, and engage their femininity, not “sensitive nice guys” who “understand their needs”. Healthy women want a playmate, not a therapist.

    Men like your son are unable to mate, or must scrape the bottom of the barrel, because women don’t respect them. Your son is dating a bipolar woman precisely because only a woman who needs that much niceness is willing to put up with the lack of assertiveness and of even (sexual) aggression that comes with it.

    Feminism has begun to eat itself because the men that it has made are not attractive, even to feminists.

    The fact is that this “on again, off again boyfriend who didn’t treat her very well” is more attractive to this woman than your son is. He may treat her badly sometimes, but his ability to assert himself appeals to her instinctive attraction responses in ways that your son cannot… or rather, is afraid to.

    This is your fault. You treated your son like a potential problem, hazard, or risk, because he was born with a penis. You were more concerned about him than for him. You were so worried that he might become a hammer, that you made him into a nail.

    You betrayed your own flesh and blood in the name of an abstract philosophy.

    If your eyes were open, you might be able to help undo the damage. By telling him that you were wrong. By telling him that macho is a Good thing. By telling him that masculine power built civilization, and sustains it, and that real, healthy, beautiful, admirable women are drawn to, rather than repelled by, it. You could tell him that no doesn’t always mean no.

    But I don’t think you are strong and secure enough to do that

  47. Kratch says:

    Not to mention the varied definition of rape on those surveys, some of which would include inappropriate catcalling amongst the examples of sexual assault.

  48. Kratch says:

    "While I can appreciate the perspective of a distraught mother, in what appears to be an unfair situation, I cannot appreciate the need to then call the majority of women liars nor the blaming of feminism for a large oversight for the difficult position of the falsely accused man. "

    And yet, you are part of a system that routinely calls all men potential rapists, abusers and pedophiles, And don't seem to have an issue with that.

    "Accusing a man of rape is "romantic." Surely she has never sat in a room and been grilled hour after hour over minute details "

    You confuse the consequences of the accusation with the accusation itself. There are some false accusers who never even consider the harm they will cause, claiming to have never wanted to hurt the man. I've heard one story of a man who was charged with rape because he slept with a military officer, and she ended up sleeping in and being late, so she cried rape (of all things) in order to avoid the consequences of being tardy. She claimed to have "not known it would go that far", and that "it quickly spun out of control, and she was too scared to reveal the truth".

  49. Kratch says:

    Problem with that is that illegal recordings are generally inadmissible as evidence. All you get out of that is a second charge (possibly even a second sex charge IE making a sex tape without consent)