Letter from John. March 20, 2012.

Via elephant journal
on Mar 20, 2012
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A letter by John Friend of Anusara Yoga.

But first, some context via elephant editor Waylon Lewis (feel free to skip):

A month ago, leading yoga teacher John Friend was accused of various things by an anonymously-backed web site.

After an initial calm phase, during which we sought to sift agenda-driven accusations and fact, elephantjournal.com has published some 90 articles representing different perspectives from former and current Anusara yoga teachers and students, as well as from outsiders. Nearly all of them are critical.

I published the first and only interview with John Friend, where questions regarding his affairs (which he admitted to publicly for the first time) and the dissolution of the Anusara, Inc. pension (which I clarified through discussion with his anonymous accuser and nine pages of legal documents, which we released) were addressed for the first time. That said, I was not then offered a real interview (the questions were submitted ahead of time, and received days later). My request for a live, open interview has been ignored.

We subsequently published critical statements and discussions with Bernadette Birney, then Douglas Brooks, Amy Ippoliti, then Emma Magenta, and most recently two “Anusara grandmothers.”

While just about all of our coverage has been critical, hopefully all of it has been fact-based, and fair.

As this painful but powerful story winds down, national press has only begun to cover it—and so though many in the yoga community may be ready to get back to the mat, the greater public is just beginning to get a sense of the many difficult yet vital lessons that the mindful community has begun to learn. ~ Waylon Lewis, ed.


Below, the new letter from John Friend.


Dear Teachers and Community,

It has been a long, painful, confusing month plus for our beloved Anusara yoga community, and for that I wish I could personally and sincerely apologize to each one of you.

Understandably, there is still much confusion about the allegations that precipitated this upheaval and where we should all go from here.

Because of the privacy of others involved and the complexities of the situation, it has been difficult to communicate openly during this time. So thank you for your patience.

In order for the Anusara yoga community (and those who have left it) to heal and move forward, it is imperative that I address the allegations, as well as report on the work being done to help evolve Anusara yoga into a new, more sustainable paradigm. My statement here is offered in sincere hopes of bringing as much clarity as possible.

With the help and encouragement of others I respect and sometimes disagreed with, I have suspended my public teaching as of February 20th to allow for a needed period of self-reflection. In this past month, I have been listening intently to countless valuable suggestions from various segments of our community for restructuring the organization, which I acknowledge as something that is overdue.

With respect to management, I have resigned as a director and officer of the company. We are working toward potentially transferring the ownership of the company to a third party who is not connected to me personally or to my staff, yet continues to be within the community.


With respect to the allegations that have been made and other criticisms, I offer the following:

I take full responsibility for being out of integrity in my intimate relationships. I have entered into intimate relations with married women. I am deeply remorseful about my actions in this regard. I will never violate these sacred boundaries again.

I fully recognize that there is a fundamental power differential between student and teacher, and employer and employee. Over the 15 years of Anusara’s history, there were students, who at one point were employees, with whom I was intimately involved. I have earnestly tried over my years of teaching to honor the integrity of my relationships with students. Nonetheless, there were times when I failed in that effort. Even then, however, I was careful and respectful when entering into closer relationships and only after years of cultivating deep trust and friendship with those students. There was never a rush into any of these relationships. My former wife, to whom I was married for 10 years, was initially a student of mine.

Regarding the charge that I am a “sex therapist,” I am absolutely not a sex therapist. I once described the nature of a private relationship as therapy in an effort to hide the relationship, and this was both wrong and the source of the false label.

The speculation that I am a drug trafficker is ludicrous and untrue.

Since I was 15 years old, I have openly practiced and belonged to non-traditional spiritual groups dedicated to bringing positivity into the world through healing prayer circles. I have never had sex during ceremony within these circles. I have never been part of a “sex coven.”

The charge that there was illegal action with the company’s pension fund is simply not true. There was an honest mistake in the administration of the pension plan, which has been corrected. We have verified that it complies with all legal requirements.

Now that there is the beginning of a genuine plan in place for moving Anusara yoga forward independent of my management, I am taking a sabbatical to embrace a process of self-awareness, transformation, and healing. I will be on teaching hiatus and have sought out professional therapists who are helping me on my path.

Those who are angry with me have helped me back to the path as much as those who have supported me—and to all of you, I am grateful.

My best to each of you,



About elephant journal

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99 Responses to “Letter from John. March 20, 2012.”

  1. Why do we expect yoga teachers to be beyond mortal temptation, neuroses, conditionings and personality glitches. It's the new "minister" who falls from his pulpit syndrome, only in this case, it's tipping off the yoga mat platform. It's so much fun to be indignant, to point the finger of shame and blame at the other guy. This story is as old as the hills, just the players change.

  2. Love Yoga says:

    The issue at hand is serious Michael and not related to past events concerning a book or face book so stick to one point at a time.

    The allegations are serious and people want ot see concrete evidence instead of thiry part anecdotes or links to some blog as proof.

    If you have proof for the allegations bring that forward now. Otherwise all that appears to be happening here is an attempt to malign the character of someone.

  3. Credibility ? says:

    It is clear you have an axe to grind here. You have seen drafts and heard stories.

    Why should we assume that you are credible? Do you have some concrete evidence in the form of documents.

    Try scanning them if you do. Maybe UPS has a shipping number for the trafficking charge?

  4. Michael says:

    John's PR firm sent out the letter and then asked everyone to disregard it and use the "FINAL VERSION". I suppose if you knew Anusara, you'd understand that this is standard operating procedure.

    Regarding the pension, I read the YogaDork pension timeline provided by a former employee. No axe to grind…

    There's also the conflict between his latest statement and the e-mail to Laura in the coven regarding the sex during rituals… is pointing that out grinding an axe as well?

  5. Anusari says:

    The teachers that have spoken out are eye-witnesses.

    The site that was up showed photographic and e-mail evidence.

  6. Love Yoga says:

    No one has seen that site JF exposed incase you have not heard.

    I have not seen one eye-witness testamonh here also.

    Only I have heard from second party that John disclosed the truth to. No eye witness accounts have been listed on EJ yet. Or the inner circle know or I read it on her blog.

    Not one eye witness account and I have been following FriendGate 2012 very closely.

    Maybe some compelling evidence will surface and then will be credibility to these claims but not yet.

  7. Iyengar Yoga says:

    Lets see Iyengar studied with Krishamacarya…

    who studied in Himalayan caves with guys with white beards…

    who were connected to the nine nath gurus…

    who was started by Matsyendra but wait…

    He had a patent on his yoga that require you to wear a bathing suit in a hot rooom while practiing…

    JF is in violation of patent law also?

  8. Colleen says:

    Doug, thanks for your insight regarding why a very visible yogi’s personal behavior matters, or should matter, to all of us who teach yoga. Too bad your comments were lost in the noise. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out in the mainstream media once they really grab a hold of it (beyond William Broad trying to sell his book). I haven’t seen any sort of response to the JF scandal from Yoga Alliance, but perhaps that will come along the way, in some fashion. I was fascinated to learn he was not registered with YA. Here’s hoping we don’t all have to go to massage school!

  9. Christina says:

    having sex during a ritual and using sexual/sensual energy are two very different things. just sayin.

  10. Christina says:

    Again, sex during rituals is very different than harnessing sexual/sensual energy. And just because two of the members of a coven are putting a little more sensual energy into the rituals doesn't mean the whole coven is on board with this. Just representing the wiccans out there.

  11. Kristin says:

    There have been many yoga teachers and spiritual leaders in way worse scandals than this one, so I really don't think John's personal foibles in his private life (adult private life that is) are going to single-handedly push more regulation in the yoga world. That is a trend that has been happeneing for years in many states and may actually not even be a bad thing (would be great if all yoga teachers knew massage therapy and were a bit more trained to give adjustments). Doug, I think you, like many people out there have a personal axe to grind for sure. Sorry to see another good yoga teacher like yourself, get into this silly finger pointing game.

    John created a very good style of yoga and is a very good yoga teacher. He is also a man with his own downsides. We should all learn from the experience, like he is attempting to do, and move on. I like the letter and feel bad for the crap he has had to listen to on account of his personal information getting hacked by an angry person.

  12. IRM says:

    I second Colleen: Thank you, Doug!

    I think your voice in this discussion is very relevant, given the fact that you saw the writing on the wall early on in the history of Anusara. You tried to reform the structure, and decided to leave when you saw that your voice was drowned out.

    As you said in another comment thread, every time you would speak up against unfair practices, you would invite another firestorm of rebuttals. Thank you for your courage & integrity all along!

  13. Brian Smith says:

    Kristin, You are forgetting that JF is breaking the employment laws. Is that ok to you?

    If anyone would like to find out how many Anusara Employees filed claims with the Texas Work Force Commission its free. Request in writing with name and contact info. or fax your inquiries to:

    Open records division -Texas Work Force Commission
    101 15th street room 266 Austin, TX
    Their fax number is 512-463-2990

  14. Brian Smith says:

    hahahah the Angry Person wanted to have a voice. Yoga this or yoga that. All these so called yoga people want to forget and move on what this guy did to employees of Ansuara. Not only did he have sex with them he did not pay them. I am sorry but I can not afford to work for free. My apartment in the woodlands TX (a 1 bedroom cost) $950 a month. That is not including utilities.
    Great yoga? i did not think it was that great when JF mocked indians from india talking like them. I could not believe it. Impatient jerk wanting me to take his photo for the cover of some video he made. The handful of women saw how he was acting.
    When I try to get him to come to the Hare Krishna temple in Houston he spoke badly and mocked the religion.
    All this is coming from the mouth of the founder of Anusara Yoga??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

  15. Katy Poole says:

    This is the first sensical explanation about why this scandal "matters" to any yoga teacher outside of the Anusara community—and why the mainstream press will love to eat this "news" up. You are a clear and thoughtful writer, Doug, and I'm glad to have discovered you through all this. Thanks for the valuable insights.

  16. mattalign says:

    Gosh Brian. I can understand your animosity but you might want to think about who this is hurting more, you or John. It's not good to have all of this hostility bottled up inside of you. Maybe you and John should go to some group counseling together and get this worked out. It would be good for both of you. I offer this with respect and compassion.

  17. Michael says:

    Let me examine the facts:

    1. In a letter to a jilted ex-lover, he addresses why they entered that "no strings" relationship… to enhance their rituals efficacy.
    2. He claims he never had sex during rituals

    1 and 2 do not make sense together.

    Either he shrouded his desire to have an affair in a Wiccan cloak to sell it to this woman, which should tell you how seriously he takes his practice of Wicca or he is lying about what he did with regard to the coven. Every statement released thus far has been riddled with inaccuracies that have been called out by his own teachers/community. It's getting pretty absurd.

  18. Michael says:

    Keep #[email protected]#% that chicken Christina.

  19. transgressor says:

    please explain….
    oh and 'just sayin' is the ultimate in passive aggression….

  20. transgressor says:

    please explain….

  21. transgressor says:

    Here is one of a number of things at stake with regard to the issue of sexual behavior — and the issue of John Friend conducting ‘sex therapy’ in particular. Many feel that this should be considered a purely private matter of activity among consenting adults.

    But in the context of the yoga ‘industry’ as part of the health industry, this matter is an open invitation to regulation. Any massage therapist, for instance, would have had his license revoked and would face legal penalties if not arrest, as well as a lawsuit for the kinds of activities (specifically ‘sex therapy’) to which JF has already admitted.

    When these matters draw greater attention through the media (and it’s coming, folks), it will be the basis for an argument that yoga teachers should be held to the same laws and standards — in other words, there will likely be a strong argument for regulation that will impact all of us.

    There is ALREADY a law under consideration in Florida to require that all yoga teachers be certified massage therapists. (The law itself is unconnected to these events, but does set a precedent) An owner of a studio in Florida who is a friend of mine is already pursuing massage training and certification in anticipation of this law, so she regards it as a very real possibility that it will pass.

    You should know what this entails, if you don’t already. First stop and consider the possibility that your career as a yoga teacher could come to a grinding halt as you take a year off to study massage therapy. If the laws are pursued on a state-by-state basis (very likely), then traveling teachers will have their options narrowed accordingly.

    After stopping to think how well you would fare under those circumstances (including the cost of massage training), consider this: massage therapists have to be fingerprinted at the police station because the state holds them under the perpetual suspicion that they are potential prostitutes or operating ‘massage parlors,’ and it is routine for the police to check up on them,including studios that hire massage therapists. They certainly do it in Virginia, unannounced and at whim.

    So as a yoga teacher you could also be subjected to visits from the police during your classes as they look in to make sure you are not illicitly curing students’ migraines by adjusting their mula bandhas.

    This may seem like a bit of hyperbole to be sure, but not really very far from the truth.

    This is what is at stake for all of us, and why the issue even of sexual behavior is significant and merits a serious look.

    How the issue is handled will have a bearing on the future even of teachers who have never heard or cared about Anusara, and there is no sweeping it back under the rug as a purely private matter.

    Even when writers in the media say, “This is nothing new,” that very statement presents an argument for someone to say, “Well it’s time to put a stop to it!” And there are tax dollars and fees to be made in doing so.
    Doug Keller

  22. Doug says:

    I beg your pardon. The letter written above is by John Friend. It contains admissions of guilt — including not only the relationships in which he engaged, but also recognition of the power differential in teacher-student relationships that make this a serious ethical issue. Moreover, he admits referring to what he did as 'sexual therapy' at one point, though he then takes it back. Calling it sexual therapy is a problem, whether you later 'take it back' or not (calling it adultery instead) once you realize the consequences.

    I repeat, these are things (and more) that are admitted to here and in writing by John Friend himself. What is the point of asking about 'eye-witnesses' and calling it internet rumors? It is a confession, though a very measured and qualified one. When measured against his previous testimonies and public statements, not all of which are entirely consistent with each other, it raises questions about truthfulness.

    It has been standard policy on the part of Mr. Friend and those who speak for him (often at his direction) to write off criticism as amount to nothing more than the grumblings of bitter, angry people with axes to grind or subconscious motives. It really gets tiresome, and your comments fit the pattern to a 'T'. Following the same pattern of commenting, you start by attempting to Ingratiate yourself by making a bland compliment, reframe the issue that shows little understanding of what was actually said, and then project motives and a psychological attitude with poison-pill language (bitter, axe to grind etc. etc.) to discredit all criticism. And of course finish by trivializing the issue, discounting any significance to it and trumping all other opinions with your own high-minded attitude.

    You want evidence? Look at the letter at the top of the page. Is that not 'evidence'? Is it 'second party' or a direct communication?

    And to point out the consequences, both real and likely, to follow from this issue, which is both public and becoming more public, is both relevant and legitimate, and presents a perspective that has not been highlighted before.

    For you to write off all comments that you find inconvenient, disagreeable, or not in alignment with your world view, particularly by characterizing them as stemming from deep-rooted psychological issues, is an ad hominem ploy and attempt at manipulation. It's really getting tired.

  23. Doug says:

    You can disagree with my opinion and state your own without attempting to delegitimize my own view by saying I just have an 'axe to grind,' can't you?

    Is this your attitude toward anyone who does not see the world in the way that you do?

    I did not say JF's admitted actions would 'single-handedly push more regulation into the yoga world. I did say that the issue matters, and I said why.

    I repeat one last time. The question raised in this discussion was 'why does this matter' and I gave an answer for consideration. You may not agree, and you certainly can state your opinion without delegitimizing mine with your assumptions about me (designed to prejudice others). Attributing ulterior motives to me doesn't make my opinion wrong any more than it makes yours right.

  24. IRM says:

    Thank you, Doug, for pointing out to Kristin's aggressive semantics. "You can disagree with my opinion and state your own without attempting to delegitimize my own view by saying I just have an 'axe to grind,' can't you?"

    I can see now first hand from this thread, that whenever you are speaking up, you are getting the "firestorm" that you said you have experienced for years now from the Anusara incrowd. I agree that it is not fair to attack you personally for the comments you make, just because you are so identifiable & a known quantity in the AY world. Thank you for speaking up anyway, because your word does carry a lot of weight with those of us who are paying attention to the facts!

    This is comparable to a smear campaign in politics: Just repeat some negative propaganda over and over about the opposing candidate, and eventually some of it will stick & enough people will buy into it. Like you mentioned when JF & close followers spread rumors about you having a "mental disorder" to discredit you. We know that that is not the case, fortunately, as much as they like to suggest things like that.

    I feel that Kristin is out on something of a witch hunt here, also going from her last comment on the thread after Suzey & Betsey's article. "Sorry to see another good yoga teacher like yourself, get into this silly finger pointing game." Silly?? This is not a game for us, so please stop ridiculing it like that. You are insulting all of us here who are trying to have a reasonable discussion about this.

    Kristin, you said: "We should all learn from the experience, like he is attempting to do, and move on. I like the letter and feel bad for the crap he has had to listen to on account of his personal information getting hacked by an angry person." Are you suggesting that it would have been better if all of this would have not come to light? I, like many others, am grateful that it imploded, and it was after all his own words & email trail that brought it out. It is not time yet to move on, it is time to get everything out on the table, without omissions, half-truths & "seductive misinformation", as Sarah Faircloth put it so well on her blog Kula Without Borders.

    I believe in "The truth will set you free." Do you? Even if it is an inconvenient truth. Enough people do have a reason to be angry with John, that is true. It took an anonymous site to bring it to light, so that his powerful spin control couldn't crush a single messenger. Doug knows first hand what it can be like to be blacklisted by the almighty John.

    So please let's have a discussion here without personal discrimination & bullying behavior 🙂

  25. IRM says:

    "Love Yoga" – I have to say that is a funny name you chose this time as your pseudonym. Probably everyone here loves yoga, that is why we are even here discussing it. You sound very much like "Don" to me, a.k.a "Due Reason", a.k.a "Kangoroo Court" a.k.a "ByeBye". As ByeBye two days ago or so, you first caught my attention, attacking Michael by suggesting he needed therapy, bringing a whole new tone of personal aggression into our previously pretty pleasant online banter.

    Many of us know you from your often bullying comments from our last thread on Suzey's & Betsey's article. Can you please just use one name, so we know whom we are dealing with, not a shadow army trying to look like more than one?

    Your trademarks are double-spaced posts (to make them look more substantial, I assume), misspellings, & aggressive language. Doug uses his real world name, and you take advantage of that by attacking him personally. So here we go again, you said:

    "It is becoming clear to me that your message about John has deep rooted resentment in your sub sconnscious to draw parallels to comments and issues that are not related to him at all."

    Please leave Doug's psyche alone! Just take his words, which have quite a bit to say to us. Everything I have read by him on this topic speaks volumes & sounds very reasonable. This time, his voice will not be drowned out by the overly loyal Anusara defenders.

  26. FREE says:

    Doug, don't waste your time or energy on responding to this idiot. We can all see through the idiocy.

  27. IRM says:

    Thanks for summing it up so succinctly:

    "For you to write off all comments that you find inconvenient, disagreeable, or not in alignment with your world view, particularly by characterizing them as stemming from deep-rooted psychological issues, is an ad hominem ploy and attempt at manipulation. It's really getting tired."

    In our last thread, Anusari tried to explain the facts from her very-much insight perspective in the headquarters office, to no avail. This person, who uses all these different made-up voices, will not be convinced by us. See my post below, identifying "Love Yoga" as the same poster we have tried to reason with before. He (or she) has not tried to cover up the style of his posts. (I will call him "he" because he wrote as "Don' quite a bit the last time around.

    Reason will not go very far here. He will continue using every trick in the book to discredit other commenters who are calling a spade a spade. This is bullying language & denial of the facts.

    Actually, this first-hand experience now does convince me even more: all the stories of online spying & blacklisting & stalking & discrediting of "unaligned troublemakers" that were described to be common usage in Anusara are true!

  28. Barb says:

    Here is a pretty intelligent post regarding John Friend and his motivations.

  29. EFT says:

    please consider emotion freedom techique

    while tqpping you would say…even though i have anger and resentment for john I deeply and profoundly accept my self.

  30. love Yoga says:

    my last post here…

  31. Love Yoga says:

    It is important to honor the experience of others in their yoga. I will not comment on EJ again.

  32. IRM says:

    I'm sorry I don't meant to have the last word, since you already said you will not comment here anymore. It just seems too contradictory, though, to hear you say that "It is important to honor the experience of others in their yoga."

    Above, you addressed Doug personally by saying:

    "It is becoming clear to me that your message about John has deep rooted resentment in your sub sconnscious to draw parallels to comments and issues that are not related to him at all."

    That didn't sound to me like honoring other's experience. Actually, it felt like you twisted it around & tried to discredit his reasonable post by questioning his motives & sanity.

  33. Penny says:

    Waylon, PLEASE could we not have people saying “shut up” in this conversation? I admire your wisdom in patience, but some people will never learn just by speaking to them from our elevated and evolved vista.

    Also, Elephant Journal has done a FABULOUS job of covering the dustup over John Friend. I see no reason for you to be on the defensive or offer “context” to those that want to snipe from the sidelines. I do agree with you– this story is winding down now and is just about all played out.

  34. Penny says:

    Sorry, Waylon– I meant to post that under the offending post. I don’t know why it appears to show up right above that post.

  35. Yoram Braun says:

    Beware of the guru. Having personally studied with Patabi Jois when he first came to Encinitas I watched as the Guru grabbed the breasts of the women he assisted. Were I to have done that "sexual assualt" would have been screamed in the one room Ashtanga Yoga Church. But noe of the women uttered a peep, kissed his feet and went on their merry way. Yoga West. Yoga East. Yoga Wherever.

  36. IRM says:

    To Yoram Braun – thanks for bringing that your eye witness account I had heard some references to Patabi Jois in the vein of the usual guru abuses, but don't know too much. I think it is relevant here because it is another yoga method founder who was not walking the talk. Not long ago, I drove by the big Patabi Jois yoga center on the main street in Encinitas, with huge photos of the founders smiling from the windows. I was kind of wondering what was really behind that facade. There is enough to be read & heard about the abusiveness in the world of Bikram yoga.

    I second the "Beware of the guru", and want to add, beware of all those lineages, too! They have a way of intimidating people into feeling tradition must be right. The lineages can turn out to be pretty fishy, more like a conglomerate & mix up of different elements put together with good PR to be sold as the highest truth. I would just recommend to investigate before you join, as other posters have said, especially if tantra is quoted as part of the mix. Don't leave your discrimination behind…

  37. Guest says:

    It's amazing how I thought this was really deep when I considered JF my teacher, and now it sounds like absolute meaningless drivel now.

  38. bob says:

    oh my, his tour schedule is sooo valiant. get a clue…

  39. […] yet, while John Friend was tapping a few sexy ladies on the possible sly, and according to a letter posted on elephant, admitting to as much, right out in the open was this total mess—The Paris Hiltoning of yoga lifestyle culture—that […]

  40. […] I teach Asana practice—if I am very lucky and the student presents, yoga may happen. I am in love with what I do and I will speak out against those who through their own ignorance diminish or threaten the sanctity of the experience. […]

  41. VeloCityGirl says:

    He *was* a good businessman, until his d*ck took over. And I think that's another reason why all this matters — the many teachers invested in the anusara training schedule who will take a financial hit because of the CEO's actual and perceived transgressions.

  42. Amarnath says:

    OK, get some therapy BUDDY. It doesn't matter where you're from, just stop blaming others for your feeling small.

  43. mike says:

    Dear John, You don't have to justify yourself to anyone.
    I disagree that there is a 'fundamental power differential between student and teacher..and employer and employee.' unless one or both parties place it between you. These happenings all occured between conscenting adults.
    I've read naughseating excuse letters from former members of Anusara all of whom have shown gross irresponsibilty & denial.
    Your the only one that I can see is taking responsibility for you place & being clear about what is not your 'stuff'.
    This witch hunt would never happen in Australia! come move here! donig some SunSals as we speak!xMike

  44. mattalign says:

    I feel sorry for you.

  45. […] his own community and teachers‘ outrage, and perhaps most crucially his own (lack of) openness, blame-accepting or even conventional crisis management (obfuscation is not a winning strategy when […]

  46. […] the March 20 letter—his last before going on sabbatical—Friend said he was “absolutely not a sex therapist” and […]

  47. […] Letter from John. March 20, 2012. | elephant journalMar 20, 2012 … 30659098 Responseshttp%3A%2F%2Fwww.elephantjournal.com%2F2012% 2F03%2Fletter-from-john-march-20-2012%2FLetter+from+John. […]

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