Via Kelly Grey
on Mar 17, 2012
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Silence walks me out to the ledge and says jump and there will be nothing there to catch you.

The winds of my body are in an uproar, tossing my mind to bits.

In Afghanistan, the Buddhas of Bamiyan crash to the ground and what rises out of the rubble is a madness in my heart that allows no room for answers.

Twin towers fall, and it doesn’t hurt, I mean really hurt, until I hear of a woman calling her husband and three kids to tell them she loves them, right before the plane drops down into a heap.

My shoulders are two towers that barricade my heart and it takes a 20 hour plane ride and a 4 hour jeep trek up into the foothills of the Himalayas, to Sivas temple, to even begin to recognize the gate, the wall that keeps me out.

A beautiful boy, no more than 12, watches the temple fire, kept burning all day and all night.  He touches the ash, the vibhuti, to my forehead and we sit in silence, forgetting the world, the story, the script.

Again I am walked to the ledge, yearning to drop off, knowing not even the ethers could catch me.

Ashes by Simran

In this temple, this silence, this empty space, there are no claims to god, bought and dug up like a gold mine and rationed.

There are no palaces of words and ideas staking ownership over the ‘right’ path.
No trademarks or labels to mark the hierarchy.
There is nothing to theorize or grip to.
There is only this movement towards abandon, a need to live empty, to not follow any rules.

A movement as soft as the early morning light — it’s shimmer of gold breathing gently down this mountain….

A movement as easy as a Red Tail suspended in the updraft…

As steady and as fierce as Mother Ganga melting away rock.

It is a moment, after years of searching, of following this path or that, when finally dropping off onto unbroken ground, not previously seen, I recognize  that there is no path and no one to blame.

It is a movement toward the heart, found in the silence of these mountains, this temple…

In the eyes of a boy tending fire…

And in a woman half way around the world, suddenly feeling at home.


Editor: Braja

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About Kelly Grey

Kelly Grey grew up on the east coast and wandered out west early on to find her home in the desert. She has been teaching, practicing and studying yoga since she was 15 years old, starting with TM and chanting with the Hare Krishnas on the Washington lawn, after getting kicked out of the Smithsonian for having no shoes. / She has advanced certification in Sivananda Yoga and as an Ayurvedic Practitioner and teacher. She studied Bikram Yoga and Astanga yoga intensively and is a Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapist. She is also a licensed massage therapist and Reiki master and received certification in India in Pancha Karma therapies and Abhyanga. / Kelly opened up and ran Yoga Shala in Arizona for eight years and started many programs still existing today in the local community colleges, private colleges and health clubs. / Her love is the river. Her guru is her dog, Penny Lane.


2 Responses to “Silence.”

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