August 28, 2012

Soulmate: Read Back of Bottle for Instructions.

What’s with the word “soulmate”?

And does claiming “your beloved” as such give you the right to torture your gift from the universe?

It depends on baggage.

Or as some people say “the karma between y’all.”

Baggage has become synonymous with words such as leprosy, food poisoning, pirate teeth and anything which can make others inhale quickly.

It’s the sum of your past experiences (in the case of karma, past lives too) and is usually seen in a less than positive light, unless as some allude to, it can include children.

I’m talking about emotional baggage.

Its actual weight cannot be measured because it’s internal; it can be shared, and vomited outward upon unsuspecting innocent bystanders, a.k.a., your soulmate.

We all do carry some things forth, but when you meet a soulmate, be prepared not hide any of it, whatever luggage you have comes flying off the rack.

One group of people is fortunate to meet a soulmate when it’s accompanied by some crazy synchronicity as they look into each other’s eyes and fall deeply, passionately in love, riding off into the sunset together, forever.

And then there’s Group Number Two.

They meet. Yes, crazy synchronicity happens. In fact, it’s almost hair-raising. You’re walkin’ three feet off the ground, not sure if you’re comin’ or goin’ and scared sh**less.  The love is there. The passion. The friendship. Crazy-making is there. The amazing similarities, connection and in some cases a sense of psychic connection.

The problem with Group Number Two is either one or both are scared sh**less, or what I like to refer to as the existence of ridiculous complications that make one wonder why you ever had to meet. It makes you ask what kind of surgery can be performed to excise this connection.

I’ve been a card-carrying member of Group Number Two for a while now.

The thing with Group Number Two is somewhere, somehow, probably before you were ever born, you decided you wanted to really learn and grow, or die trying in this life.

So, the brilliant plan was hatched to meet your soulmate in the future, when one or both of your lives includes baggage that is either insurmountable, or obstacles overcome at the pace of an emotionally handicapped snail.

This love is rare.

This connection is what stories and songs are written about, the drama, the torture, the depth of emotion is soul-touching and yet, the baggage blocks the road to bliss.

And everywhere you go, there “they” are in some form.

Thank you, Universe.

I also know it’s a psychological phenomena, but for the purpose of this post, we’ll go with the crazy-making that ensues…even my daughter text messages me a picture that looks just like her ex-boyfriend’s car, asking me, “Why does this happen? I’m going through my day and I see this. Why?!”

Here are a few examples of baggage that exists in these relationships:

>> You or your mate has been abused, addicted to drama and therefore trust takes longer to bloom than it took to build a pyramid.

>> One or both of you is married or in a serious relationship.

>> One or both of you cannot remain vulnerable because you are afraid of engulfment.

>> You or your soulmate have been hurt and have so many walls that you could have blasted through to the other side of the world by now.

>> One of you is heterosexual, the other homosexual, and the heterosexual is in denial, calling it a friendship.

>> Abandonment: it could happen 10 years from now, so let’s just sabotage the whole thing now and not find out if it lasts. Great idea!

Fan-freakin-tastic! Maybe this soulmate just doesn’t feel they deserve this kind of love?

These relationships aren’t ones you walk away from and get over easily.

Usually there’s some kind of invisible umbilical cord (not etheric cords). These suckers are made of steel because maybe they can’t be removed unless you’ve cleaned your karmic plate. You think you’re going about your groovy life without said emotionally s-l-o-w soulmate and boom! They are sitting on your front doorstep. Ready for love.


Crazy-making? The relationship is never really over until either the karma between the two of you chills out or one of you is no longer in human form (and sometimes death doesn’t change it).

The lessons are amazing opportunities to discover self-love and to really learn to love another person, unconditionally.

As a member of this group, I say, “What ego?” and yet, I also say, “Boundaries, so I can love myself and not be angry with you.”

It’s a place to become the most confident, kind, generous version of yourself as you experience what it is to grow through the situation; it forces you to deal with your own baggage. And isn’t that why we’re here?

And if you fight it, make it harder, you still don’t escape. You can become bitter, compartmentalize more, but that pain in your gut, anxiety and sadness, doesn’t dissipate.

Give into it and allow it to unfold however it is meant to, without control or a guaranteed outcome. I’m not telling people to divorce, move or do anything drastic; those are not my decisions to encourage.

The relationship is meant to be the clearest mirror you have ever experienced. Whatever you are going through, so is your soulmate and again, it’s an opportunity for your growth.

Either the day comes where you are together, adults, in a solid intimate relationship or you’ve grown, learned how to cultivate your own happiness, accepted who you are, what you really want, what you’ll give and how you want to be treated, and then you move on, not tied to the steel cord.

It can be part of the journey or the journey, which keeps on moving you to the purest, most authentic version of yourself.


Editor: Brianna Bemel


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