We heart your imperfect (perfect) penis. {Adult}

Via Tanya Lee Markul
on Sep 25, 2012
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Photo: Matter of Size



Not too long ago I wrote an article called ‘Your Ugly Vagina Is Normal & Gorgeous,’ so I only thought it fair to explore some of the taboos of male genitalia—specifically the ‘size’ of penises.

I was inspired to write this piece based on a BBC documentary called ‘My Penis and Everyone Else’s’.

The size of one’s member isn’t necessarily a coffee table discussion, so how do we gauge how ‘big’ the problem is if men don’t want to talk about it?

Well, I started to do some research and my first question was—what is the average size of a penis?

The Penis Erectus Lengthus. 

According to Dr. David Delvin, for decades, medical documents and articles have stated that the erect penile length is typically about 6.5 inches (16.5 cm). However, more recent numbers share that the length of an erect penis is about 5.88 inches (14.9 cm), which is considerably less than the ‘old’ measurement.

With further investigation, I have discovered that in numerous other medical documents and research findings that the ‘range’ is more like 5 to 5.7 inches—at full attention (12.8 to 14 cm)—to which 90% of men fall into.

Please note, these figures are for varying ethnicities and adult ages.

And, well, despite popular belief, there seems to be no real correlation between a person’s height, size of hands, feet or nose with their penis girth or length.

If you’re curious—the man with the largest penis in the world, according to a variety of sources, measures out to be 13.5 inches (34.29 cm), and from what I read, in 2008, he had been single for many years, was living at home with mum and hoping to find a partner who wouldn’t find him a freak of nature.

So, who’s to blame for the miscalculations of membership sizes?

No, it’s not Ron Jeremy. It’s self-measurement. It’s just unreliable.

According to research, those who have performed the self-measurement tend to provide ‘larger’ statistics than those gauged by a physician or a professional penis measurer.

Well, enough said about that, and it’s the nose that grows longer with lies, not the penis! Ask the guy made of wood!

Another thing: ethnicity and penis size—there are all sorts of varying statistics, research, lack of research and numerous agreements and disagreements on this topic.

African men have the largest penises while Asians, the smallest, but then again Asian women have the smallest vaginas, right? Wrong.

Or at least I haven’t found any solid evidence stating that any theories regarding ethnicity and penis size are 100% true. What I have found out concerning this topic is that there are many opposing sides. So, perhaps it’s safest to trust your own experiences and do you own experimentation. Have fun.

You can also check out the The Penis Size World Map. I recommend being ‘largely’ sceptical. You’ll see why.

Have companies exploited a society-generated obsession or is size something partners demand?

“I do think pornography and the way it seeped into culture has had some effect because it’s so saturated, it’s so become a norm that people are seeing sex and their bodies through a completely distorted lens.” -Rowan Peeling, Former Editor of the Erotic Review.

Sure, the world of porn tends to attract actors with a certain size, but don’t we know that most of them aren’t ‘typical’?

Perhaps we need to remind ourselves that not every other guy is John Holmes. Not even close—not by a ‘long’ shot.

In today’s world of sex toys, vibrators and gadgets, it seems there are a lot of solutions that could appeal to a partner’s need for size, but what intrigues me more, is why someone would feel ‘bad’ about their penis size.

I can’t help but wonder how much of our opinions are actually ‘real’ versus what has been implanted into our brains and low self-esteem by the media, companies and even doctors looking to make a profit.

What do you think?

Despite the pills, crèmes, pumps, weights and exercises out there, there is nothing proven to lengthen the size of a penis other than surgery.

Penis enlargement surgery—go, go Gadget penis extender.

I read that the majority of men who have penis enlargement surgery aren’t satisfied with the results (one man in the BBC documentary had the surgery four times and was still unhappy).

Studies also show that the surgery may add a half an inch to the length of the flaccid penis while not adding any length to the erect penis.

According to the Mayo Clinic, most men who want the surgery are within a normal penis length range. In addition, studies prove that even men with micro-penises—medically defined as a penis less than three inches when erect—are completely capable of enjoying a fulfilling sex life and having children.

According to the American Urolological Association the techniques and procedures used in penile enlargement surgery have not been proven through research studies to be completely effective or even safe. The long-term side effects are unknown.

The price of the surgery ranges between 3,000 USD and 10,000 USD.

Alternatively, one could also consider getting physically fit, doing a bit of pubic maintenance and getting rid of the ol’ beer belly. A counsellor and/or some self-acceptance practice could also do the trick.

What do women really want (and expect)?

A little survey I did with 10 random females ages 25-45…see their answers here.

So, does size really matter?

At the end of the day, I don’t believe anyone should answer this question. We do enough damage judging each other with unrealistic sets of beauty standards set by the superficial, synthetic beauty world that we all in one way or another seem to be addicted to.

Think about it, if these sources told you that you were perfect, they’d be left with nothing to do (and without a lot of your money).

Penises come in many ranges, sizes, bends, lengths, colours, wrinkles—and they’re all normal.

There is a hell of a lot more that goes into a person than the size of their anything. Instead of reaching a level of perfection set by anyone else, let’s gauge perfection by what we have.

This article was originally published on Rebelle Society.

Read more: Your Ugly Vagina is Normal & Gorgeous.


About Tanya Lee Markul

Luring the magic of what is natural back into our daily lives, Tanya Markul is a freer of creativity, of inner beauty + power, and an enthusiastic igniter of the wild spirit! She re-writing the wild flower sutras, and offers a refreshing & badass view on spirituality, wellness & authentic living. Sensitivity is her tree trunk, flower stem, and nucleus. It is her belly, and her heart. Tanya is an artist of life, a faery of trees, a wanderer of the dark, a writer of heart, a misfit yogini, and an Urban Priestess apprentice. She believes in the power of your personal weird, quirky, magic, and that only path toward inner freedom & light, is through the dark — eyes closed, heart open. Tanya is the creator of The Urban Howl, Yoga Write Now & Waking Wild. Join her free forum for monthly yoga & writing practices here. Join her free forum for 30 days of exercise for 30 days here. Join her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter & get her free weekly & quirky newsletter here.


25 Responses to “We heart your imperfect (perfect) penis. {Adult}”

  1. mark says:

    Standing and looking at a statue in Florence, Italy last summer, my wife remarked the great sculptures were made with a smaller than normal sized penis because a large one was considered distasteful and unbecoming (I'm not going to point out all the double meanings in this comment). Being a male my entire life and having played sports in school there were many shapes and sizes on display in any gang shower. I'm not sure why men are enamored with size but at least we are consistent. I believe (but have not done any research) men notice large breasts so maybe we focus on the penis when we judge ourselves? And I wonder if it's just the US men who are consumed with size? We have been so sexually repressed as a society (anyone see the "news' article about the Olympic women's water polo team when a boob popped out. It came with the NSFW tag. Really? A breast? So what!) that perhaps it's to be expected that both sexes would be fixated on body parts. Part of our legacy as country is to think bigger is better for everything.

    So my position is as long as my penis can put a smile on my face and hopefully on the one I share it with, then the size issue is a moot point.

    Thanks for having to courage to write about this topic. I found the vagina one fascinating and my feelings towards a vagina is pretty much the same as the penis. Work it, use it, enjoy it.

  2. Tanya Lee Markul says:

    Hi Mark – thanks SO much for you response. GREAT question about it if it only pertains to US men — we definitely can feel the repression — nearly everything we look at in American society (magazines, movies, television, products) tell us we're not good enough. Such a shame! I haven't heard about the women's water polo team – REALY?!

    Thank you for your kindness —— work it, use it, enjoy it and OWN IT. 🙂

  3. papa_tom says:

    It's difficult, if not impossible, to ascertain where the phenomenon first took hold, but my guess, based on my own experiences, goes a little something like this: boy meets girl, boy and girl dig each other, boy and girl have sex, but an incongruency of sexual chemistry and respective parts (specifically, noticeably smaller boy part respective to girl part) leads to disappointment and a nagging feeling in the boy's mind about what could have been "if only", completely neglecting the incongruent chemistry.

    Only after reading the kama sutra years later did I realize how those wise sages from the Indian sub-continent got it right. Size does matter, but only a little bit and only for certain positions. 😉 …there's more than one way to have fun.

  4. theveganmarshmallow says:

    When I read these articles I feel so guilty to admit that I do prefer a larger penis- in both length and particularly girth.

    Granted, the whole package really, truly does matter in a relationship.

    I think I'm spoiled now because my partner is amazing in bed…even despite his 9 inch long member that is nearly as thick as my wrist

  5. Auki says:

    Thank you for a sensitively written article on a subject that is super-sensitive for many men. If our culture would only measure manhood (and womanhood) entirely on the basis of the content of one's character, as opposed to measuring manhood by the size of the sex organ, I would venture to say that there would be a lot more happy men, women and couples occupying this planet together!

  6. nunh says:

    I think it is immature to worry about such fickle things as length, girth, looks etc. But, I do believe everything matters. I also believe that the physical side of life and sex has nothing on a person's intellect, seduction, smell, and talents. So may factors – so little time – so much fun. Stop worrying about the silly things.Nice article.

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  11. Jeff says:

    Asinine post.In your effort to try and “be fair” and rational here you come off pretty condescending.Then you tread into the race and size thing-which has been debunked many times over.Oh unless you watch too much porno(which most women do these days)Women and the media are responsible for the bigger is better and size matters spew.It is always coming out of your mouths.Women are hypocrites they complain about wanting to be treated with fairness,respect and equality but rarely do you ever reciprocate any of those same behaviors to a guy…..Guys aren’t stupid-we know women use the size thing as a get back and an ace card to slam men.Goes right along with alot of women using sex to trap men and then witholding it as a weapon (abusive)

    • Kari says:

      Wow, that is sad that you have such disdain. Reading this causes me to be thankful (once again, many times daily) for my relationship with my man. Wish for better love for you, in whatever way works for you.

  12. Mickey says:

    In the end, penis size and the other article on labia surgery are about the same thing. It is the pervading theme of the culture that we live in. It is everywhere, and it is everything. It is, by now, in our DNA. We need to be convinced that we are lacking, and the only way to fill that lack is to look outward. Anything outside yourself that you need you must "obtain". How are things obtained in our culture? Money.

    The last post talked about the hypocrisy of women by using this to get back at men. Where do they get this? Social conditioning. And what is that conditioning for? To keep us convinced that everything we need is outside of ourselves. So we spend our lives searching and obtaining, and never being satisfied with the obtainment. It's fine for 5 minutes, but then guess what, you feel empty again and need to fill it. And where do you go to fill it? Outside yourself. And every time this happens, we give away a little more of our power, until we are simply slaves to the culture.

    I'm average size. Would I like it bigger? Sure. When I find the genie in the bottle, if he gives me 30 or 40 wishes, it may be somewhere towards the end…

  13. dani says:

    I find it quite interesting–and extremely sexist–that your article on vaginas has multiple zoomed photos of labia and a couple shots of nude women, but your piece on penises has but a couple of cartoonish representations of phalluses, and a guy with a tape measure. Considering that the topic of both articles was roughly the same (genital enhancement surgery) I'm not sure why it was (a) OK to plaster women's private parts all over your article or (b) taboo to plaster men's private parts all over your article. In a society where women still have great challenges not being objectified, it is disappointing that you're playing along with the band.

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  17. Steven says:

    Hi There Tanya,

    Great post, thanks for addressing penis size in a decent way. Personally I don't know what is worst, the media hyping up that a man's penis size should be above a certain size and that a man isn't complete without it or that somehow he is a failure with an small penis or even an average sized penis. Also all the companies trying to sell us magic pills and potions to magically increase the size of our penis' overnight. In my view it has made penis enlargement somewhat of a joke and something that many men don't think can actually happen.

    I have to disagree with your conclusion that there is nothing out there to increase the size of your penis – I really think penis enlargement exercises do work, I am proof of that but it takes hard work, time and dedication to achieve it – it is not a magic fix.

  18. Tmoney says:

    Hey fellas,

    I’ve had a variety of sizes and I can honestly say that I much prefer average sized men…the larger ones tend to hurt and just don’t fit as nicely. I’m not in the minority, either. 😉


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