It seems as though every day has been a transformation for me lately.
I hadn’t realized it until a few months ago, but the change that is occurring within me on a daily basis is pretty interesting to me. Has it always been that way and I just didn’t have as much self awareness to realize it? Or have certain events and circumstances in my life just provided a catalyst for more change?
Who knows? But it is interesting to know how much is brewing at any given moment. I feel like each interaction with someone, each work opportunity and each class period is leaving me with new layers of myself to uncover and new thoughts to marinate in.
But it’s interesting in the sense that each time I feel like I have gone through an individual digging process, for a brief moment in time I feel clarity and feel like I have gone deeper into myself. Then, a new opportunity for self growth emerges and there are yet other layers to uncover. It is remarkable, each human literally has millions of layers of complexity. Now whether we have the chance or even desire to do the digging is individual. Not everybody has either one.
But it does raise questions for me. Are any of these processes more true than the others? It seems as though I can generally categorize these years of my life as “processing years,” and I feel it is due to where I am in school and what I am studying. I truly felt as though when I finished nursing school and for the few months after, I was done for the moment with heavy processing. Then I started at Naropa University, and it started all over again. Each chapter of my life afterwards has offered great opportunity for reflection and growth.
So should there be any reason for me to discount what happened to me then? I did for a little while for some reason, I was just feeling as though the current “digging” was the most true. And for a second forgot to appreciate the past “digging.”
The digging isn’t painless though. And because of that, sometimes we forget to appreciate the process because we as a society are so inclined and eager to avoid the pain and release it from our conscious and memory. Then we may forget the journey. But here, marinate in the pain. Know that this kind of pain is good pain. This is the pain that stimulates change, and encourages transformation.
All of these self transformations contain such a plethora of truth. Each one allows for the next to happen. It is the staircase of life. I read a quote a few days ago that I really loved: don’t just stare at the steps, step up the stairs.” So step up through each of these processes and appreciate every single moment. They make you who you are today. No single step should be left unattended and unacknowledged. They hold so much significance and importance.
Remember the journey, don’t just appreciate the finish line.
Ed: Kate B.