January 18, 2013

I Married Superman: 10 Characteristics of a Quality Guy.

Wonder what it takes to marry the best husband in the whole world? I can tell you. Here, the top 10 qualities that make up a really great man, x-ray vision not required.

I married Superman.

No, he doesn’t own a cape—but he does have super powers.

He makes me feel like the most amazing woman alive. He treats me with the care and respect I deserve; he loves our little girl in a way that melts my heart—and every single day I thank God that I married this man.

Top 10 Characteristics of a Good Quality Guy

So what should you look for in a guy? These 10 things:

1. Humor. Life has ups and downs, and dramas and supporting characters that we sometimes wish would vanish. So your guy should make you laugh.

2. Intelligence. My man has a Master’s degree in Geophysics and another Master’s in Medical Physics; with work experience in both fields. Basically, I’m married to a genius. Does your guy have to have an I.Q. better than Einstein’s? No, but you definitely need to be able to relate to him on a mental level—and he should bring out your own curiosity and intellect too.

3. Physical fitness. Your guy doesn’t have to leap tall buildings in a single bound—but if he takes care of himself physically, it’s a sign of self-respect.

4. Patience. Being in a relationship with me probably isn’t easy. I’m neurotic and hyperactive—and impatient. So I’m eternally grateful that I married a guy with the patience of a superhero. Trust me, if he has patience with you and your quirky qualities, it makes life that much easier.

5. Loving feeling. My husband loves me; truly loves who I am inside and out. Pick someone who really likes being with you.

6. Soulful. My guy is so spiritual. He always has been. Being with someone with a spiritual nature is enriching to your life—and to the relationship you share.

7. Commitment Lover. Back in high school, I had a theory that my girlfriends should date guys who liked worn out jeans (I’ve dated my husband since I was 14). My thinking was that if he had trouble getting rid of those perfectly worn pants, then he was also more likely to enjoy long-term relationships. Now I’m not too sure of the accuracy of this adolescent idea, but your ideal partner should show a level of commitment in other areas of his life besides you.

8. Good taste. My favorite clothes and jewelry are hand-picked by my husband. I don’t think that this has to be a requirement of a successful relationship—but it sure doesn’t hurt either.

9. Compliments. Your perfect mate should spend more time highlighting what’s great about you than harping on your lesser traits; not because he’s blind to your reality, but because he loves you for who you are and knows that we live up to the standards that are set for us. In short, we grow to be our best selves in a nurturing, positive environment. And its up to us to learn how to accept a compliment.

10. He doesn’t take your crap. Okay, so I do mean the above statement in number nine. However, that doesn’t mean your guy should turn his head when you treat him poorly, try to control him, or act in a way that’s beneath you. He should encourage—and if necessary demand—that you rise and shine to the occasion; that you be your best self.

Life is challenging, and a great partner should make your life easier not harder.

Finding a good guy is possible.

Good luck on your quest.

Mindful Bonus:



Relephant reads:

A Married Man’s Secret Tears. 

Dear Husband, If You Do These Things, I’ll Make Your Dreams Come True.

We aren’t all married yet, and our Super(wo)man has yet to be imagined. Until then:


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Ed: Kate Bartolotta

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Charles onyedikachi. Mar 6, 2016 7:09pm

What a nice piece!
I fall under the categories you listed but fortunately or unfortunately most Women don’t appreciate what they have.one man’s meat is another man poison.

TahitiNut Jan 31, 2016 10:44pm

It's far easier to write a list AFTER you find the guy than before. In fact, I'd suspect that writing such a list BEFORE finding a guy is an indication that the guy, once found, will be lost. How many women would write a "before" list that didn't include sex or intimacy?

As a guy, I found the list fairly amusing…mostly because of the heckling remarks I heard in my head. I believe I possess at least 9 of the 10 attributes listed yet I've yet to find a woman who'll stick around. Married twice and the only feedback I got when I asked "What did I do wrong?" was "Nothing. You were the perfect husband. I guess I'm not meant to be married." Uh-huh. I guess honesty wasn't either's virtue. (And, since they couldn't stay out of other guys' beds, I guess I should've known.)

One interesting thing to me is that I'm sure 9 out of 10 that read the above paragraph will be 'sure' they 'know' what the 'problem' was, and it would somehow be nearly all my fault. That's been my experience, at least. (A failed marriage is 'always' mostly the guy's fault. That's why the word 'cuckold' was even invented.)

TahitiNut Jan 31, 2016 10:33pm

It’s far easier to write a list AFTER you find the guy than before. In fact, I’d suspect that writing such a list BEFORE finding a guy is an indication that the guy, once found, will be lost. How many women would write a “before” list that didn’t include sex or intimacy?

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Jennifer S. White

Jennifer S. White is a voracious reader, obsessive writer, passionate yoga instructor and drinker of hoppy ales. She’s also a devoted mama and wife (a stay-at-home yogi). She considers herself to be one of the funniest people who ever lived and she’s also an identical twin. In addition to her work on elephant journal, Jennifer has over 40 articles published on the wellness website MindBodyGreen and her yoga-themed column Your Personal Yogi ran in the newspaper Toledo Free Press. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in geology, absolutely no degrees in anything related to literature, and she currently owns a wheel of cheese. If you want to learn more about Jennifer, make sure to check out her writing, as she’s finally put her tendencies to over-think and over-share to good use. Jennifer is the author of The Best Day of Your Life, available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. She’s also as excited as a five year old to announce the release of her second book, The Art of Parenting: Love Letters from a Mother, available on Amazon.