January 17, 2013

Tips from a Gentleman: Jack Donaghy, Don Juan & the Art of Stalking.

Love-Life Advice for Humans on Earth.

There has been some discussion about what it means to be a gentleman around here lately, so I felt it only appropriate that I make an offering.

I will attempt a definition of sorts. I hope that what follows serves as both explanation and inspiration. But first, here’s your Lucky ‘13 soundtrack. 

Q. Mommy, what’s a gentleman? 

A. For starters, the qualities referred to herein as that of a gentleman, warrior or sorcerer (one who is of the Source) are in no way gender specific.

The focus is how to access and apply aspects of the Divine Masculine, so these are universal principles applicable wherever nobility is needed.

The research for this article has been a life-long process. Funny then, to realize that it was a friend I met in high school that was able to elucidate most succinctly the principles that, to me, best signify gentlemanliness.


In The Power of Silence, Carlos Castaneda’s Don Juan describes three areas of expertise over which all warriors seek mastery.

These are the Mastery of Awareness, the Art of Stalking, and the Mastery of Intent.

I will attempt to unpack and interpret a smidgeon of Don Juan’s wisdom. He says:

“The mastery of awareness is the riddle of the mind; the perplexity sorcerers experience when they recognize the astounding mystery and scope of awareness and perception.”

I believe he is describing what Otto called,mysterium tremendum et fascinans, the mystery that is both awe-inspiring and fascinating.” Both of these esteemed gentlemen are pointing toward the stupefying experience of that which stuns you with awe while drawing you inexorably into its ineffable mystery.

In my experience, nature, a thoroughly beautiful human, or certain blends of tea are examples of potential portals into the realm where paradox is preempted by the underlying unity of atoms and galaxies. This is a sacred, playful space. Wildly calm.

Having mastered his own mind, the sorcerer is able to harmonize these two impulses, of electric awe and magnetic attraction. The balance of these competing forces move him to and fro as appropriate.

His assemblage point has shifted such that he becomes an alluring conduit for synchronicity. The electro-magnetic frequency he emits literally magnetizes people and things to him, or as the case may be, repels them. Aligned in this flow, his total openness is also his protection.

A true gentleman maintains big-picture appreciation while engaging every little nitty-gritty corner of creation. He conducts himself with genuine curiosity and respectful deference.

G. K. Chesterton said,

“Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

Wikimedia Commons

It is not noble to boo-hoo an inconvenience; to sulk inspires no one. Deeper awareness can only result in greater gratitude.

The more you know, the more you realize how little you know. Once you know this, you know to be grateful for the forces beyond comprehension that have allowed you to know so much.

However, it is also true that, “in much wisdom is much grief; and he who increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.” ~ Ecclesiastes 1:18

Don Juan did mention something about “perplexity…”

Anyone who has ventured into psychedelics or transcendental meditation knows new plateaus of consciousness can be destabilizing. Indeed they must be, otherwise we would never be motivated to recalibrate ourselves to a higher state of being.

To overcome the overwhelm, to integrate and normalize that (at first) scarily ecstatic state is to achieve a certain mastery over the inevitable tumult of life. Such mastery allows one to maintain an attitude of both amused detachment and fully active engagement in the midst of even the most outrageous circumstances.

Mastery of Awareness bestows many ancillary benefits beyond mere awesomeness.

On a gross level, the navigation of spatial dynamics becomes effortless. This can include impossibly excellent feats of athleticism, competent dancing in the face of complex polyrhythmic percussion, and carrying reasonably sized carry-on luggage.

These graceful physical gestures are the outward expressions of inner mastery. A quick swivel of the shoulders invites a desirable voice into group conversation, while a tactical box-out can prevent an unwanted interruption.

The gentleman is a cuddle puddles’ comfiest spoon.

The warrior often holds doors open—not to be overtly polite, but because he is naturally in position to do so, and thereby facilitate convenience for all.

Effortless grace in action arises out of accurate anticipation. Accurate anticipation derives from intricate observation of ever-fluctuating surroundings. Perfectly intricate observation is Mastery of Awareness.

And how does one accelerate the path to mastery?

Do kriya. Practice pranayam and qigong

Swami Sri Yukteswarji via kriya.org

In the Art of Stalking, one’s prey is the knowledge of sorcery, the pursuit of the very source of one’s own life in relation to the superstructure of forces that shape life as it is. Having mastered awareness, one must take action.

The warrior must be “ruthless, cunning, patient, and sweet.”

“Ruthlessness should not be harshness,
cunning should not be cruelty,
patience should not be negligence,
and sweetness should not be foolishness.”

Please, take pause to consider the magnificence of this summary.



In my understanding, Don Juan uses the term “ruthlessness” to suggest perfect resolve in the pursuit of self-actualization and activation.

This means accepting full responsibility for one’s circumstances, however painful, and remaining steadfast on the path to an open heart regardless of what terrors arise.

Ruthlessness is related to righteousness. As Mahatma Gandhi once said,

“Never apologize for being correct, or for being ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the Truth is still the Truth.”

In practice, this can have drastic consequences; speaking truth to power is not always the best career move.

To divulge your true feelings to anyone necessarily exposes you to risk, and it takes a certain degree of practice and faith to develop the operational knowledge that in fact, you are in greatest danger when not in alignment with your own living truth.

You must be both immovable object and unstoppable force when it comes to maintaining your own integrity. This is no occasion for compromise, so be ruthless.

Discussion Question: Is Gordon Gekko ruthless?


Cunning need not be associated with any nefarious espionage.

The highest form of cunning dissolves constrictive barriers and creates previously undreamed of delight.

The cunning gentleman wields the power of synchronicity.

Synchronicity is a mechanism through which the universe offers elegant solutions to previously intractable obstacles. Having deciphered the puzzle of awareness, the sorcerer is in cahoots with allies outside of time who ensure all the pieces come together to form a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.

There is nothing more gentlemanly than cultivating oneself to be this conduit for perfect resolution, wherein karmic loops are closed, made complete and transcended.

Who doesn’t want to be the person who appears right on time with exactly the right stuff?

Proper cunning cuts through the illusory limits of space and time, allowing the adept to offer the ideal solution with apparent effortlessness, and with no expectation of reward beyond the satisfaction of having done what needed doing.

Performance of duty without complaint or hesitation—indeed with vigor and diligence—is most gentlemanly.

Patience is the opposite of negligence.

It requires the keenest observation to know when to retreat in order to advance.

This is perhaps most true in relation to potential romantic partners. More often than not, charging straight for the goal is counterproductive. Any deservedly desirable partner will be well practiced in dodging these aggressive tactics.

Instead, the application of attentive patience creates space in which equilibrium can arise, in which each party is free to advance or retreat freely, as feels appropriate.

Thus, through disciplined self-containment, you have established the ground for the push-pull that makes being in relationship so dynamic and fun.

Source: art.com via Melinda on Pinterest


A certain sweetness towards life is indicative of an evolved perspective.

Gentleness with children of all ages is evidence of mastery.

Be mindful though, that this does not devolve into idiot compassion. A sweet disposition is not equivalent to simpleness.

In this world there exist vile forces ready to prey on the naïve, waiting to manipulate unguarded good intentions for the benefit of falseness. It is a truly terrifying experience to awaken to the reality that one’s best efforts have been steered to serve the perverse. Therefore, maintain awareness in the pursuit of sweetness, and patiently cultivate ruthlessness and cunning as your allies.

I won’t go into any further analysis, but I encourage you to ponder how Don Quixote is the ideal embodiment of the esoteric gentleman I’ve described.

A more worldly example, is Jack Donaghy:

I will leave you with that. Perhaps next time we can get into a discussion on the Mastery of Intent. Until then, be well.


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Ed: Brianna Bemel

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