Boulder is about to get “f”ed. ~ Rob Jackson

Via elephant journal
on May 22, 2013
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Just past noon as the sun soared high I walked away from the Boulder Courthouse, addled with camera gear, feeling small as a gnat.

Heck, the whole of Boulder was but a gnat under the commissioners’ gavel—the “f”word* had just been slammed down on us.

*Heretoforth, all instances of the “f” word are in reference to the other f-word….word that’s a verb—it’s not four letters but five and rhymes with “attack”. It’s the f-word that deserves nothing but lower case and is not speakable as a whole for that would be offering too much attention to a word deserving none. Not enough info? Here you go: the oil and gas industry loves to “f”.

In normal life, it would have been just another perfect Boulder day—blue skies, agreeable spring-time temps, happy with my chosen path and my girlfriend by my side. The Flatirons, bear sightings, the whole bit!

But the “f” bomb struck and I was relegated to gnat status on May 21, 2013—Boulder and I were snuffed in an instant by one fell strike of a gavel.

Now, after 12 hours of steering my former happy self back into semi-workable human form, I have decided to release a series of insights into the Rights, Ways and Rules of the World After Boulder Got it’s “f” Cherry Popped.

Here goes numero uno, with more to follow in future posts:

1. Money, business and politics are so intertwined that they’ll make Plain Looking Janes prescribe poison for the same land they were elected to serve.

As today proved, the hellish trifecta of money, business and politics will make three educated women vote to do something in a highly populated area that is known to be extremely harmful to human beings in highly populated areas.

Some like to say that because this style of “f”-ing that uses horizontal penetration just reared it’s head in 2005, we have not had a sufficient period of time for adequate studies into the health and safety impacts of said “f”-ing.

In my opinion, that alone would have been fair enough reason to extend a moratorium on “f”-ing in Boulder County. However, the commissioners decided that a fair study of health and safety impacts was not a prerequisite to opening the floodgates of “f” fluid.

I call bullshit. Our neighbors in Weld County, home to some 18,000 oil and gas wells, are evidence enough of the perils of “f”. They are suffering horribly—cancer, respiratory illness, organ failure, the list goes on.

Somehow, the life or death implications of the “f” word were once again swept under the rug today. By mothers nonetheless—and thanks to a heavy dose of money, business and politics.

I can only surmise for I don’t know the whole of it (the “f” industry loves it this way), but I wonder if the the ladies posing as Boulder’s Board of Commissioners might have made such an unreasonable decision to allow “f”-ing in Boulder because the trifecta from hell is so much bigger than them and these women just have to see the view from the top.

Deb Gardner, Cindy Domenico and Elise Jones expect a big ole’ cut of the bottom line for themselves. They want piggy banks the size of Big Bill, who was the world’s largest pig at 2,552 pounds until he broke his leg and they put him to sleep (it’s true, look it up on Wikipedia, more reliable than the “f” industry).

The weight of money can break legs just the same as the world’s most grotesque pig belly, but money has gleam! It’s got sheen! Those ever-calling beams are what draws these women in! So…golden! Vast oceans of gold coins! In gazillions of piggy banks the size of Big Bill!

What else could explain such an irrational decision to “f” our county? Nevermind the health and safety of the “f” word.

Boulder’s a college town. Home to a party college at that.

“f” now and study later.

“f” it.

Or maybe these three women yearn after higher political office and more supreme honor? Maybe they’re stuck amidst a mid to late-life crisis of a power trip? Early onset dementia? Or maybe it’s something I can’t quite put my finger on because I don’t harbor it within myself.

The only certainty being that the something that these women want is for them and it is to be hoarded by them. And it’s related to money, business and politics. Anything to the contrary?

“f” the land we walk on!

If these women thought about the people they were elected to serve then we’d not be lying awake tonight. Wondering where the first wells are to be “f”-ed. Whose faucets will flame first. Whose health will be ravaged first. And when they’ll start draining our precious water reserves and poisoning our aquifers in a careless gesture of “f”-ing it all to hell.

Hell—the same place that money, business and politics join forces and prevail. Not so different from the many “f”-ed territories in the rest of the world. Except somehow we were lullabied into thinking it would be different here. For this was once a mecca called Boulder.

Before May 21, 2013, Boulder was a reliable safe haven where “F”-ing (note the capital) was but an experience of great pleasure. “f”-ing meant love-making, soft or hard, gentle or rough, however you prefer.

Now there’s a new “f” word in town, thanks to money, business and politics, all intertwined in the most disgusting orgy of all. And Boulder, sweet little Boulder, shall be subject to testing of the most violent form of “f”ing ever borne down.

This blog was inspired by a certain event at our humble Boulder County Courthouse on May 21, 2013, when three women and a gavel strike said: “f” you, “f” your land and “f” your water and air, too! To be continued…


 Rob JacksonRob Jackson is a documentary filmmaker based in Boulder, Colorado. In 2012, he co-produced and edited Streams of Consequence, a solution-based documentary on the rivers of Patagonia and the opportunity for Chile to be a world leader in renewable energy. More recently he edited the DVD Extras for Chasing Ice, the renowned Boulder documentary about climate change. Rob is currently working on educational yoga videos with Amy Ippoliti and 90 Monkeys and has a multitude of other projects brewing.


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Ed: Bryonie Wise

Source: Uploaded by user via Jordan on Pinterest




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7 Responses to “Boulder is about to get “f”ed. ~ Rob Jackson”

  1. Amy says:

    F. We sure tried. There must be a way to stop this still. Sit in at the first f'ing?

  2. Here in Denmark we're about to fight the same battle. We, the people, get overruled by greed and an endless thirst for more of all that we already have plenty of. And of course it's perfectly safe. Your North American history of "f"ing seems so far away in an abstract, fairytale manner, that any comparison is denied. All we know is that it will rain money when we open the gates and let in the gas industry… "f" us, the people, and our land – the sorry leftovers…

  3. tabsmagic says:

    Its disgusting , depressing…….we must stand up against this!

  4. Testblog says:

    Boulder is about to get “f”ed. ~ Rob Jackson | elephant journal

  5. Matt Kapinus says:

    Curious- the article lumps Elise Jones in with the other two who voted to let the moratorium expire. Didn't Elise vote to keep the moratorium alive? I'm asking because I think it's important to keep our strong and supportive alliances. Anyone care to speak to this?

  6. Rob says:

    Hi Matt, you're right that Elise originally supported extending the moratorium for two years on May 21. For the record she ended up voting in favor of "f"ing after Deb and Cindy played their cards in favor of lifting the moratorium. So, on the books, all three voted for "f"ing. Elise does have a pretty extensive environmental track record and she probably deserves credit for her speaking up for a moratorium even if her final call was to the contrary. And moving forward, she will probably be the people's strongest ally. So maybe grouping all three commissioners together under the banner of "business, money and politics" was a little bit unfair but Elise's official vote was the final slap in the face of a hugely disappointing day. Maybe she wanted to appease her fellow commissioners with whom she works every day for political purposes? Just a guess. Moving forward I will keep your point in mind and am curious to speak with Elise herself. In sum, I believe it would have been more honorable to stick to her original vote. Thus my decision to lump them together. Thank you for pointing this out though. Here is a video of Elise directly following the decision:

  7. Rob says:

    Here is Elise Jones' official comment following her decision to side with the other commissioners for "phasing" of the "f" word: "I supported an extension of a moratorium for two more years based on the need for more data and studies to fully research and understand the public health impacts from hydraulic fracturing and horizontal drilling. However, in lieu of that, I also support my fellow commissioners’ proposed phasing approach to restrict new development under our new set of oil and gas regulations because it will help reduce impacts out of the gate and allow us more time to measure fracking emissions and do what we need to do to protect our residents and clean air and incredible natural resources that make Boulder County such a special place to live" — from the Boulder County website:

  8. Matt Kapinus says:

    Thanks Rob. It sounds like her heart is in the right place, although it's tough to say for sure when such a big financial carrot is dangling in front of our elected leaders. Keep doing what you're doing.