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June 14, 2013

Can I Be the Seeker, the Constant Adventurer & Still Create the Foundation & Stability I Need to Feel Whole? ~ Jillian Locke

Release Your Inner Seeker

I am light. I am free. I am unbound… and unfocused.

I am balance waiting to emerge. To coalesce into some sort of form, if for no other reason than to create and do what I was meant to do.

Always distracted, day dreaming… how do I pull it in? Bring my power back, direct it towards the sources where it can do the greatest good? Lost in my head, always lost in my head, lost in the dream, the journey… am I ever really present on my journey?

How much am I missing by living through my head rather than my heart? How many walls am I unconsciously building by losing myself in such weighty analysis when I could be feeling my way through life, through decisions, through this journey? How many words have I missed by always chasing after the unspoken ones? How many worlds or opportunities have I missed while running after the ghost tracks in my head?

When I can’t deal with the weight of the analysis, I leave. I pack up and leave. When I feel like things aren’t moving or have become stagnant, I bolt. And there’s both a positive and negative to that. I’ll never stop growing—that’s for damn sure. But there’s such solace, such comfort in having a home base: security, stability, a hearth, a heart. Home is the heart, and home is wherever you make it. It grows throughout our journey; it swells and retracts, changing shape, color and size. It can blacken or it can emanate the most beautiful red hue. It can grow bigger than our heads and then shrink to the size of a finger nail. It always remains, just as we do, just in different forms. Our journey determines that form, as well as our response to the myriad experiences and paths we choose to go for, because we choose everything. Coincidences do not exist—everything and everyone in our lives is there for a reason—we attracted them. We pulled them into our experience for one subconscious (universally connected) reason or another.

I’m a gypsy, a traveler of both time and space. I acknowledge and honor the illusion of time, the enormous and minute parts of it. I feel the invisible bridge that ties my past experiences and existences with my present. I tune into nature, people, body language and words left unspoken to find my answers. I’m a seeker, always have been, always will be. There’s way too much of this world left to see and experience, way too many answers I haven’t even formed the questions to yet, way too many points of light to bask in the warmth of. I can’t stop now.

But with travel and adventure and truth-seeking comes a void—that place in my heart that craves all the comforts of stability and family: a solid home, a solid family, a solid touch stone. A place and a heart to always come back to. A connection, completely unshakable, forged in the flames of creation. A connection to myself, to my land, to my heritage. A connection to love.

Can all of these things exist at once? Can I be the seeker, the gypsy, the constant adventurer and still create the foundation and stability I need to feel whole, grounded, confident and most of all, loved? What is stability, in the most basic sense?

The dictionary definition states that it is “the strength to stand or endure: Firmness.”

Shit yeah, I’ve got that under control. If nothing else in my life, I possess the strength to stand on my own two feet and endure anything. So in that vein, the notion of stability resides in who we are and how we approach life. Our endurance, stamina and wherewithal when faced with life’s toughest decisions—our ability to trust and believe, like the leap of faith from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

(Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade—Leap of Faith)

Actually, Indiana Jones is the perfect example of a stable seeker. He has his career and his home base, but he also understands that, “if you want to be a good archaeologist, you gotta get out of the library.”

Jackpot.

Indy is also a traveler of both time and space, traversing the globe with the sole mission of uncovering the past to bring information, light and knowledge to the present. Only by understanding the past and listening to the musings of those who came before us can we truly begin to understand ourselves and others. And isn’t that what we all want at our core? Understanding, connection, unity, love. We all want to belong and to know where we came from so that we may better understand where we’re going, and of course, why. Who are we at our core? Why are we here, and what can our greatest contribution to (the illusion of this) time and place be?

Some call me a gypsy, but I think we’re all gypsies in our own ways, whether we physically uproot and feel like we’re creating a million new lives for ourselves in this one we currently inhabit, or whether we simply explore the terra cotta of the spirit from the same spot, the same home, the same land.

Our minds and souls are just as vast, if not more so, than the physical land we walk on. The important thing is that we do walk and travel over whatever expanse we choose to explore, because what a tragedy it is to waste the opportunity to discover all of this beauty… this indescribable, irresistible, inexplicable beauty.

Become the glorious embodiment of epic. Release your inner seeker.

 

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Ed: B. Bemel

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