Savor the Wanting. ~ Luis Congdon

Via Luis Congdon
on Jul 30, 2013
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De-stress Your Dating Life by Being Open to Possibility.

Recently I met an amazing woman.

We had an incredible connection, the kind where potential for a great relationship was immediately recognized.

Though I barely knew her, we continued to share moments where it felt like we were communicating without speaking, talking without words. Then the next day I began to feel anxious and uneasy about seeing her. What would I say next time we saw each other? Did she like me? Did she enjoy and experience what I experienced?

This was the kind of anxiety where the potential of a new love both overwhelms and worries you, even though it’s also exciting.

I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about; it’s happened to all of us at one time or another. Sometimes it can be so exciting and intense that it feels like too much to bear. It’s that emotional roller coaster where part of you wants to escape the feelings of uncertainty, and another part of you just loves the excitement, the potential! This kind of emotion can easily psyche you out about something you want to pursue.

But what do we do about this?

In feeling my excitement, I realized that it was such a great thing to feel all those feelings. Though a bit nerve-wracking, these were signals that the universe was getting me closer to having a new and amazing intimate relationship. I realized we can turn that sensation into a positive by acknowledging it and valuing it.

Feeling this is wonderful: it means that our soul is closer to discovering the soul of another. It shows we are capable of having these feelings, even if it seems as though they don’t appear often. During the course of a relationship the feelings will evolve and change, and this initial excitement won’t last forever.

But why not revel in the excitement while we can? Isn’t it great to be capable of having such a feeling? It’s certainly better than the feelings you have when you aren’t sharing time with anyone. Thank yourself, thank the universe, thank the other person, be grateful with everything you have and are.

Feeling the excitement of being close to where we want can rattle us and shake us off course—or it can be a signal that we are closer to having what we truly want.

And when we revel in it, give thanks for it, we attract more of it. This is the universe saying, “What you focus on you get more of.” As we extend gratitude, we will attract more of this wonderful sensation, and make ourselves more available to accessing such remarkable feelings. Always remember that what you focus on increases. Focus on gratitude and love, and you’ll always get more.

As you savor these feelings, rest assured, the universe will grant your wish. Know that your job is not to figure out the how or when the manifestation will occur. This means being okay if that person who helped those feelings occur in you doesn’t become your lover.

That other person just arrived to help remind you of the possibility. When you can be excited for the possibility without attachment to how it comes about, you open yourself to experiencing the joy that the universe wants to deliver to you.

I recently shared this very concept with a friend who has been stuck on a particular girl—a girl who has not been clear about her feelings for him—and it’s been driving him crazy. She seems to really like him; then suddenly she disappears. She acts very turned on by him, but when it’s time for intimacy she shies away and finds excuses to avoid him. This is a big issue for him. He doesn’t know what to do. He says that he’s been envisioning them together. He says he’s been using the secret to attract her, to ‘make’ her his girlfriend.

To me, this seems like the wrong way to fully utilize his creative powers. In our conversation, I suggested he feel what he would like to feel and then allow it be her or allow it to be someone else. This allows the universe so much more possibilities. For all we know, she just came to him to help him open up to the possibility of deep amazing love. If he doesn’t hold the universe to making her the one for him, he opens himself up and allows her freedom.

As you savor the feelings, savor the joy of love. Savoring the possibility of love is really enough. Enjoy the emotions, the excitement and the possibility this person is bringing up in you, while allowing the universe to deliver your wishes to you in a way that will surprise and amaze you beyond what you imagined.

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Asst Ed: Renee Picard/Ed: B. Bemel


About Luis Congdon

Luis Congdon’s professional work started at a Yogic ashram, where he taught both mediation and mindfulness classes. After two years of living at the ashram, Congdon went on to teach Marriage Education Courses. Teaching the work of Drs. John and Julie Gottman gave Congdon an in depth education into what makes marriages fail or succeed. Congdon has professionally worked with over 200 couples, taught hundreds of classes on the marital success, helping couples create intimacy, helping people find and keep their ideal partner, teaching self-esteem and self-love, and much more. He has taught courses to teen mothers, executives, musicians, fathers, singles and been featured on Huff Post Live, New Spirit Journal, and other top rated blogs. His work consists of using traditional therapeutic practices combined with mindfulness, yogic, neuro-linguistic programming along with some of his own original methods.


8 Responses to “Savor the Wanting. ~ Luis Congdon”

  1. Molly Torres says:

    Good writing, Luis!

  2. Kandee says:

    This feels like it was meant for me to read today-Thank you Luis. This was exactly the message that I needed as I am in the early stages of an amazingly in-sync relationship with someone new and wonderful after a long time of being alone and dealing with a painful divorce. I have been excited but scared to death. This helps me let go of the scared and see it as wonderful no matter what the final outcome is longterm.

  3. Darren [Australia] says:

    Wow, like Kandee above, this article has truly resonated with me. I feel you've really captured something here and opened my eyes to something I couldn't quite see. Thanks heaps!!!

  4. Luis Congdon says:

    Kandee & Darren-

    Thank you for the kind words. I am honored to of been able to give support and help create a shift in your outlook.

    Best of luck to both of you and your dating. I am sure you will do great.

    To love- Luis Congdon

  5. Luis Congdon says:


    I’m glad it give you a new outlook. I know dating can sometimes be overwhelming and this small shift in perspective really helped me enjoy the amazing ride it is.

    Thank you

  6. Luis Congdon says:


    Thank you. I’m honored this article helped. Divorce can really shock us and it can take a lot get back out there in the dating scene. I love your words, “This helps me let go of the scared and see it as wonderful no matter what the final outcome is longterm”

    Wow! That’s powerful! I know you’ll do so great with dating- that’s an amazing attitude sure to make you really attractive.


  7. Theo says:

    hey Luis! this was a really great article for me to read while I am going into the dating world. I really appreciate your words and look forward to seeing more of your work on here! Thankyou friend.

  8. Luis Congdon says:


    I appreciate your kind words. I hope you get a chance to read my other article “Feng Shui for Dating.”

    I wish you the best in your dating. It’s a fun process to go out there, meet new people, and fall in love. The best to you. Feel free to write me and let me know how it all goes.