I’m Not Here. ~ Meg Weidner {Video}

Via Meg Weidner
on Nov 2, 2013
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The opposite of depression is not happiness. It’s being present.

“I’m Not Here” is an emotionally raw and personal short I created to literally help me break free of the me that was spiraling into a state of deep depression.

I remember seeing a picture of my daughter and myself, and I couldn’t recall anything about that day. I could physically see her hand in mine but I couldn’t really remember feeling her tiny, precious hand in mine. It scared me. I didn’t know how many other moments I was missing with her.

“I’m Not Here” is what I call the detached time in my life when I wasn’t present for the people who matter the most to me, and also when I wasn’t present in myself.

From this vulnerable state I wrote “I’m Not Here.” It has two points of view: one is from the point of view of the mom who is deceased and recalling her life from the grave; the second point of view is from her daughter, now grown, who is wandering through the cemetery and remembering her mom.

I was fortunate in a sense that my depression was caused from external circumstances. I say fortunate because the root was external and it gave me control to recognize the situation for what it was and allow me to make a choice to redirect my sadness.

Through the process of making this short film I realized that the opposite of depression is not happiness. It’s being present. I still have feelings of sadness, doubt, insecurities and fears, but I own these feelings, they don’t own me.

“I’m Not Here” was a wake-up call for me and has been my ultimate liberation, my saving grace.


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Assistant Ed. Paige Vignola/Ed: Bryonie Wise


About Meg Weidner

Meg Weidner is a creative artist with an affinity for elephants, pink elephants specifically. She is the creator of short films “You’re Too”, “I’m Not Here” and the web series Om Sweet Home on You Tube. While proud of her accomplishments, Weidner remains forever humble as her daughter keeps telling her that her talents are walking and changing toilet paper rolls.


One Response to “I’m Not Here. ~ Meg Weidner {Video}”

  1. YesuDas says:

    Beautiful, Meg–and, I think, spot-on. Sometimes it's real work not to split, to check out. Lovely little film.