Caution: adult language ahead
It’s so tempting to try and put the pieces back the same way after everything falls apart.
It’s so tempting to scramble and create chaos in a feeble attempt to create some kind of order.
We know that method has never worked. We know it, yet we do it, time and time again.
But then there comes a day…a day when things all of a sudden snap. They break. They shatter, and what we are able to gather from the million pieces of glistening, fragmented glass, even if only for a split second, is truth. We see flashes of things we’d rather not see; revelations about ourselves, our lives, our patterns and defense mechanisms. We see every single way in which we’ve tried to avoid what’s really going on inside.
We see that instead of swimming in our vast sea of sadness, we’ve been doing all we can to walk on water.
Think about that. It’s really fucking difficult to walk on water—impossible, some might say—but we do it.
We do it to avoid every bit of emotion that we perceive as a weakness.
Every single flare up of vulnerability that we interpret as something that may set us back, hold us down or become the key to our undoing. So we perform miracles and walk on water.
We perform miracles to avoid anything that will make us feel, anything that will break down the strict façade of strength and nonchalant attitudes we attempt to project.
We’re crumbling inside, but we’ll do anything to avoid sinking to the depths that will bring us face to face with everything about ourselves that we just can’t face.
It is the pain that says something is now happening which will bring you to wholeness in due course. It is a different pain to the one which says ‘go too deep here and you’ll never return’: the pain of fear, denial, of living a half life because so much is banished to the shadows. ~ Sarah Varcas, Astro-Awakenings.uk
Know what though?
All of those things we can’t face are our personal pearls. They’re our buried treasures of insight—all of those precious jewels that we deny because we think they’ll be the very keys to our undoing are exactly that, but in the most transformative, miraculous way.
We talk about shedding skin and really becoming and being all that we can be, but when we’re too fucking terrified and in too much denial to really examine and accept ourselves for exactly who we are…too put it as raw as possible…we ain’t shit.
Seriously—we ain’t fucking shit until we dedicate and commit to ourselves enough to fully explore, discover and accept all that we truly are, perceived weaknesses and pathetic routines and plastic defenses and all.
Like a snake shedding its skin as a form of renewal, the Full Moon in Scorpio calls to each to shed the layers that are ready thus bringing a rebirth, allowing a new skin to emerge…It may feel like a deep and powerful purge of clearing out a long-held false security blanket… ~ Dipali Desai, Celestial Space Astrology
With this exploration comes chaos, always.
There are all sorts of chaos—violent, exciting, invigorating, terrifying. But we see everything through the lenses of our personal perception, so we can choose to see the action of everything we’ve built crumbling as a tragedy.
We can choose to see it as the floor going out from under us and our carefully laid foundation giving way.
But foundations were made to be broken and rebuilt. We can see chaos through the lens of desperation and despair while we frantically scramble to put the pieces back together, or we can see it as an opportunity to smash the shit out of everything that has so clearly not been working; if things are falling apart, it’s because something isn’t working.
And that something has been built upon and compounded by various other parts that haven’t been working, and in our attempt to make them work, we’ve just added to their instability and faulty design.
When I say faulty, I mean false, because when we find ourselves drowning in a sea of chaos, it’s because we’ve been denying our own vast, raging sea of ignored emotion that’s been calling to us, begging to be excavated so it can be purified.
Begging to be seen and acknowledged and most importantly, accepted, so that it too can continue its natural ebb and flow without all the weight of our emotional burdens bogging it down.
There are a lot of pieces to be integrated, not only the fallout of what has occurred and what you may have experienced in the past weeks or months, but a whole history of certain ways of being that are no longer attractive or desirable as you move forward.The old story does not hold as much weight and a new one has yet to emerge and come into focus. There may even be a sense of no longer knowing who you are by any intellectual definition. ~ Lena Stevens, The Power Path
If chaos reigns, feed it by becoming it. Become the chaos by shirking the debris that it wants to claim. Lighten your load and give it what it wants, because it’s really here to help.
Accept the help. Accept everything its offering. At the same time, accept everything that you see, everything that’s rising from the depths. These are the true gifts, the mysterious reveals that, in all our self-awareness, we’ve failed to see.
The revelations so obvious that we’ve failed to notice. But our failure to notice them doesn’t make them go away; on the contrary, it makes them stronger. It neglects them. It enrages them until they’ve built up enough power to create a tidal wave in the center of our being and completely level all of our plastic defenses.
Then we’re back at square one, which is exactly where we need to be.
…Like Persephone looking back to her Underworld home…we also have to look back and remember what we have learned about ourselves and others… We remember what aspects of our personality needed to die so we could have a renewed, more meaningful life… ~ Cathy Pagano, Wisdom of Astrology
Don’t panic. Don’t pick up the pieces. Create new ones, forged with the blood, sweat, tears and wisdom of the past, and build what your soul’s been screaming for.
Our future awaits us in the fragmented wake of our past…will you claim yours?
…The next two weeks will bring lessons in self-transformation toward a more effective destiny, or set of duties and disciplines. Continue to maintain balance as you clean up the residue of what has already fractured in your life. We are now in a new era, and are on the threshold of things beginning to develop a lot more quickly than they have in recent months. While things may still feel somewhat slow, they are about to quicken in a big way. ~ Robert Wilkinson, Aquarius Papers
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Editor: Renée Picard
Image: Carlos David at Pixoto