This One’s for My Skinny Sisters.

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scrawny sistas

I am a size zero.

I am as active and inactive as anyone else.

There are stretches where I don’t use my body and other days where I find myself on my mat twice a day.

My metabolism is on steroids: I burn through sugar faster than a tub of Ben and Jerry’s in the hands of a woman watching chick flick re-runs after a break up.

I have never shoved my finger down my throat, or been on a diet.

I have tried to gain weight through certain parts of my life—feeling self conscious of my weight and envious of women with beautiful full hips. I tried protein shakes, lifting weights—but saw little changes in my body weight. I became more muscular and fit, but my thin ass stuck around.

Some days I steam kale and eat like my body is a temple and other days I eat popcorn for dinner. I eat whatever I want, when I want and feel good about it.

I’m just little.

I used a picture of my back for the feature image of my last article “A Take No Shit List For Your Well Being.”

A woman commented on the article saying,

“Wouldn’t it be even better if the picture were of a person more realistic? This size zero blow dried super tan model just turns me right off the content.”

I was the size zero in that photograph.

The day I took the image holding my hands powerfully above me amongst mountain peaks I had hiked 24 kms into a valley in Jasper National Park to camp in the bush. I hadn’t showered, I was sweating, I was greasy from bug dope and covered in dirt. Nothing was blow dried or airbrushed. The article was about standing in our power—and in that image I was gloriously basking in my own.

I am also not a model. I am a real, breathing woman who walks on this earth beside all of you.

Size zeros are real women too. Models, for that matter, are real women too.

I understand that our world might be sick of media shoving glorified, thin, air brushed models down our throats, but is the solution to throw all skinny women under a bus because they don’t have hips to hold on to?

We are the reason skinny women splatter front pages of magazines. So instead of spiting fire at a woman because she gets paid to be photographed or has a Thumbelina waist, why not revolt against the seeds we planted that grew into an existence of a world obsessed with exploiting women and body image.

In her article “The Beauty Myth,” Naomi Wolf reported that, “thirty-three thousand women told American researchers they would rather lose ten to fifteen pounds than achieve any other goal.”

Through repeated images of excessively thin women in media, advertisement, and modeling, thinness has become associated with not only beauty, but happiness and success.

From my skinny ass to yours: that’s horrendous bollocks.

If we want to radically shift our world we need to begin stepping over body image—trivial measurements of our worth and beauty, and relentlessly love ourselves.

“Authentic self-love is crazy sexy, whatever your body looks like.” ~ Bryan Reeves

We live in a world where we are quick to judge a woman by what the label on her pants say.

A woman’s “realness” and divinity has diddly squat to do with her waist size.

I want skinny to stop being idolized by the world and I also want women to stop throwing it under the bus.

I want us to all love our juicy souls and fleshy bodies and ride the bus together free of compare, resent and judgements.

The solution isn’t to pass a thin woman on the street and tell her to “eat something.”

I have been self conscious of my body for most of my life. I tip toe and refrain from saying it out loud, because people get offended that someone who’s “skinny” could struggle with body image.

Yes, “size zeroes” have issues with self acceptance and body image too. You won’t automatically be at home in your body when you shrink your waist—that’s not how it works.

We all have to love the crap out of ourselves every damn day.

I get flack about my weight all the time. This summer I had a man walk beside me after a delicious, stretchy yoga class as I basked in the sun drinking coffee and remark,

“Jesus, gain some weight.”

I have people make jokes at the expense of my size on a weekly basis. When I suggest eating a big ol’ greasy burger with poutine at the restaurant I serve at, people scoff and say, “sure, like you eat the likes of those.” They laugh, naïve that what they are doing is in fact misplaced and even abusive.

When I was younger, the girls on my volleyball team laughed at my skinny, knobby knees and flat chest. My nickname was “twiggy.”

I hated my body.

I will never forget the older boys at school who sneered and laughed and bullied me growing up because I was skinny—the ones who inspired my self esteem to build some nasty beliefs about myself that I am still undoing.

I will never forget the women who came up to me in a shopping mall when I was 14 and put their hands around my ankles, measuring the size of my legs and shrieking disgustedly at my size.

I wonder if they would have done the same if I was a 300 pound woman?

There seems to be an awful lot of light on bullying of people who swing to one side of the scale—but what about the other?

A friend of mine told me the other day her nine year old sibling is constantly bullied at school and wears baggy-sleeved shirts in shame of his body. His teacher even brought up that he was “too skinny” in front of his whole class. Allowing and encouraging a class full of fragile, thirsty minds to hear his idiocy and carry on treating others abusively.

After a self growth course this year, a woman approached me and thanked me for sharing my struggle for self acceptance and love about my size zero skinny ass; previously she had had no idea that thin women got bullied too. She had been on the other end of the getting-made-fun-of weight spectrum and was shocked to hear me speak of my own path of accepting and loving my own body.

This just in: we all have to walk a journey to self love and acceptance.

We all have insecurities and parts of our bodies we might feel ashamed of or wish were just a little big bigger or smaller.

We all must face discrimination, assumptions, judgements and deal with other people’s opinions of our shells.

We are dealt genetic cards at birth and show up in all shapes and sizes. Some of us have petite bums, some of us have asses to hold on to, some of us are dealt pancakes, some of us get tits that inspire other women to take fat of their ass and sew it to their chests. We are all so damn perfect and worthy of walking this planet free from harassment.

So unless we figure out a way to turn back time and negotiate our genetics with the universe, I get double A boobs and this skinny ass.

And all of it is just a shell—like wrapping paper tossed aside on Christmas morning to uncover the juicy and sweetest parts of our souls.

I still get in fights with my self esteem from time to time, but I am ferociously learning to take myself as I am and to love myself up—in all my phenomenal skinny glory.

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.”

~ Sophia Loren

The first step in disintegrating body image discrimination is connecting with our own raw hearts before we speak. The solution is being able to see women in all shapes and sizes and refrain from making unjustified assumptions on their diets.

The solution is not to wonder how much she eats and if when she gets up to pee halfway through her meal if she is going to shove her finger down her throat in the company of a toilet.

Skinny is not superior. It’s just another measurement floating around in the genetic universe.

Our souls, our beauty, and our brilliance is not measured by something as trivial as our waist size or our exteriors.

“Size does not make a difference—we cannot take our bodies with us into eternity.”-Thomas Voelker

The solution is to just really love each other, exactly as we are.

I am writing today to say all bodies are beautiful, but I am speaking specifically to speak to my scrawny sisters—those of you who get flack all the damn time—and are too afraid to speak out against outrageous, malicious comments, opinions and jokes because you are “lucky” to be little.

You are extraordinary in all your skinny glory; you are magnificent in all your Thumbelina smallness. I love all hundred and five pounds of each of your size zero asses—don’t spend a moment in shame when faced with other’s disposable opinions of your exterior.

And to those of you who poke fun at my slim sisters, my brosistas, or myself—with preconceived misconceptions that your imposed opinions are somehow justified—hear me roar.

I will not stand for your harassment. I will not cower down from your inappropriate stares at my lanky legs and knobby knees, I will not bend over and take your foolish, atrocious assumptions on what my body “should” look like. I will not shove my head in the sand and be assaulted by your blatant ignorance.

My skinny, healthy ass is marvelous as it is.

And so is yours.

So let’s all get on the damn bus together and build a world that isn’t measured by the width of our hips.

Let’s build one that is measured by the walloping, insurmountable beauty within our hearts and the undeniable succulence of our souls.

More love—less of everything else.

authors own (skinny ass)

“Though she be but little, she is fierce.” ~ William Shakespeare

 

Relephant Reads! 

Relephant: enjoy a diet of loving-kindness:

An inspiring woman:

Weight loss, racism, self-acceptance, humor:

> Why I’d Rather be a Skinny B**** 

Can We Retire the Phrase “Real Women,” Please?

Skinny Love: Skin & Bones.

 

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Editor: Renée Picard

Images: courtesy of Janne Robinson

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Janne Robinson

Janne Robinson is a poet, writer, bushwalker, idealist and animal activist currently residing in Vancouver Island. She cuts kindling with her teeth, eats Bukowski for breakfast and makes the habit of saying the word feminist as much as possible. She surfs naked, pees in the woods, and loves whiskeys that swing their hips when they walk and know what they are doing. Janne’s life-work is to be transparent. She makes a living off hanging her dirty and clean laundry out for the world to see. Her mission is to give others permission to also walk and exist with the same transparency. You can connect with her on TwitterInstagram and Facebook. Please also visit and connect with her Facebook writer’s page. Check out Janne’s website.

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anonymous Mar 8, 2016 8:51pm

This reminds me of the well-intentioned sentiment of “all lives matter.”

    anonymous Mar 9, 2016 7:00pm

    Totally agree with you. It’s easy to say we all need to love ourselves when you’re on the skinny side of the spectrum. I understand everyone gets talked at because of what they look like, but there is no war on thinness going on. People actively hate and discriminate against fat people. Thin and traditionally attractive? Then no. You have no idea what it’s like to be truly hated or discriminate against because if you’re body type. This article is tone deaf to the socially accepted, promoted, and engrained system of fatphobia.

anonymous Jan 20, 2016 3:44pm

Thank you!! You just make me feel much better about myself. I am almost 30 years old with one kid and another due soon, I still very thin. My legs are so skinny that I’m so embarrassed in wearing shorts or dresses. Thank you again!!

anonymous Dec 16, 2015 12:31pm

This. Thank you for this.

anonymous Dec 16, 2015 8:50am

THANK YOU for writing this! xx

anonymous Dec 15, 2015 11:41pm

😀 I was totally feeling this today.. totally.. I love the body positive movement, but have noticed a tendency to shame thin women while supporting curvier women… It's tough! Everyone has their own struggle.. I'm fairly lanky bone structure wise, but I do have some more meat on me, but generally people see me as "tiny" and point it out often.. I try to eat healthy regularly, but many times, while eating a big salad full of lots of healthy veggies and greens, with some chicken on it, complete strangers say things like "Woman can't live on spinach alone", or "is that your lunch?" *scrunchy face*, or "what diet are you on? the monkey diet?". It sucks. Then you get approval, especially from men, when you're thin and you're eating a burger and fries, like, "I love a woman who can eat." Blech. But I still find myself enjoying that sort of attention, which is messed up! I don't know when we'll reach a point when a person's diet and body is left to be their own business. Ridiculous!! Anyway, I loved this article, thank you so much for sharing. Women really need to stick together not fight each other. Humans need to stick together so that we can change harmful cultural conditioning and messages! Much love sista!! <3

anonymous Nov 26, 2015 10:44am

I’m with you, as someone who has been body shamed from both sides, I agree that either way sucks. I do wish I had loved myself more when I was skinny. Now that I’m heavier (lots) I’ve learned to love myself but not because I’m more beautiful but because I realized in the words of Swift “haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate” body shaming is the easiest way to disable a person of being and becoming everything they could be. It is absolutely painful that all we aspire while trapped in this boat of body shame is conformity, and shaping ourselves to the wrapper of the day (Monroe, Crawford, Moss, Kardashian) while we could be achieving so much more, perhaps in the words of beauty pegeants : “world peace”… P.S. Impressive hike. Came from your privilege post, it was fantastic. I would just add, the trick is to learn to leverage that privilege to change the world and I think you’ve done just that by sharing your story. Thank you 😉

anonymous Nov 20, 2015 5:36pm

Thank You!! I am a memeber of the size ZERO club and have only been a non memeber 3 times in 46yrs.. 2 times as a pregnant woman and then after the sudden death of my husband and I had bad habits develop and gained to I size 8.. I’ve been picked on all my life and still get looks of disbelief when I say i eat all the time. I’ve started to just tell people out right I thank god and genetics for who I am!!

anonymous Nov 10, 2015 7:51am

Thank you for this, im the same. 5ft 5, 112lbs (sometimes lighter) and I’ve never had any problems with eating – I eat LOADS! I’m almost 25, my bones stick out all over the place, I love healthy food, I love unhealthy food, I love exersizing, I love sitting in my bed all weekend and not moving. I’ve been called it all, anorexic, bulimic, told I might not be able to have children because I’m too small, told to go to the doctors about my weight, I find it hard to find skinny jeans that aren’t baggy onbmy knobbly knees. I’m so lucky I came out the other side of all that a better person. I feel whole, I have a 23inch waist, and i love the body I’ve got. its just not okay to say any of these things to us skinny ladies, I genuinely can’t help it (trust me I’ve tried) and I don’t want anyone to go through what I’ve been through (and mine isn’t even that bad). So thank-you for this post! Boney or squishey, we’re all loved.

anonymous Oct 2, 2015 10:15am

We all want what we don’t have. If you’re thick your want to be thin, thin your want to be curvy, tall short, light dark, quiet outgoing, etc etc etc.

Great article, and your look fantastic in that hiking photo. Ef the haters, love yourself!

Keep it up

anonymous Sep 30, 2015 5:09pm

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for this. At 42, I just wore a two piece bathing suit for the first time. It’s taken that long to accept that my body size is just fine, thankyouverymuch. Bullying was so bad I wore sweatpants under my pants to make myself look heavier. At 38 I weighed 109 pounds and I still had people telling me I needed to gain weight, like they had a right over my body. The skinny little girl I was sure could have used this, and saved years of not loving herself.

anonymous Sep 30, 2015 3:09pm

this helped me so much, i got called a 2 by 4 in school “flat in the front and flat in the back” people were HORRIBLE, i love myself today and this piece helped me solidify that love THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

anonymous Sep 5, 2015 10:30pm

It’s good see that I’m not alone! At 5 feet tall and weighing 95 lbs, I’ve had to accept that this is as big as I’m going to get. I get mistaken for a kid frequently, even though I’m in my twenties. I have overweight friends that post the typical “anti-body shaming” pics and sometimes I want to remind them that they are lumping me in with the stereotype, but I’m never sure how.
I’m not Photoshopped, I’m not fragile, and for heaven’s sake, I’m not anorexic! When people comment on my size, my usual response is “I’m concentrated!” 😉

anonymous Aug 30, 2015 10:41am

I am a victim of this bullying too, all the effing time…I even cry myself to sleep sometimes. but then again I wake up next morning with a smile on my face, Because I know no matter how you look like fat, skinny, broad or chubby, they're gonna judge you anyway.& The only voice I need to hear for change, is my own. This article is very encouraging and you are true inspiration for people like me. 🙂

anonymous Aug 25, 2015 9:53am

Thank you for this article. Just as I was incredibly thin when I was younger, so are my teen girls and they get the same amount of crap for it that I did. It’s not funny for an adult to say to the girl, who eats more than any boy she knows, “tell your mom to feed you a burger, you’re wasting away!” or “doesn’t your mother feed you? You’re all skin and bones!”. My girls are ridiculed for their thigh gaps, they have been told that it’s not something they should be striving for, I’ve been told they aren’t “healthy”. They didn’t strive to achieve a thigh gap, they just have them. It’s how their body is made.

I had a “friend” who was an advocate of body acceptance-as long as you weren’t skinny. I dumped her and she can’t figure out. She would post pictures of thin models and ridicule them and could not figure out why that was wrong. Sad. Even sadder she has devotees who will follow her to the ends of the earth. We parted ways when I could not make her understand that “All About That Bass” was not an uplifting song for everyone.

anonymous Aug 3, 2015 12:44am

Namaste – from a size zero sister in hk.

anonymous Jul 18, 2015 12:50am

Thank you So much for speaking about this taboo topic. I’m thin bc I have a medical condition that severely limits what i can eat. Its painful and so frustrating to watch all your friends eat pizza and u get an apple. I was being bullied at work by a grown ass woman. She’s not fat, but she doesn’t have an hour glass fugure. She DOES however harbor tremendous insecurities that she projected onto me. It’s socially acceptable to be thin, so I took the abuse, but only for so long. I pointed out the error of her ways and she cried and left the office for the day. The truth hurts . We should focus on out words not hurting others, not pointing out their body shape. I’m skinny, thanks, I’m aware. Embrace sisterhood ladies, it’s powerful!

anonymous Jul 11, 2015 3:34am

You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I’ve read a single thing like that before.

So nice to discover somebody with a feew original thoughts on this subject.

Seriously.. thank you for starting this up.

This web site is one thing that iis needed on tthe internet, someone with a bit off originality!

anonymous Jun 16, 2015 4:51pm

I am 47 and 3 children later, still skinny and also get these comments. I’ve seen doctors, been through so many tests, my own family has remarked on my gigure, ppl can be cruel. It is what it is.

anonymous May 21, 2015 5:36am

AMEN!!!!

anonymous Apr 10, 2015 9:37am

This kinda reminds me of what a friend of mine from college confessed to me once. We first met in a freshmen year ballet class, which we had both taken as an elective. Now, I am naturally thin. I had also been taking ballet since I was four years old, and even though I was never good enough to be a professional, my technique was stronger than most of young women in this class simply because most of them didn't have as much experience.

This young woman, who would come to be a good friend of mine, was never overweight in the time I knew her. However, she was also not thin. She was…really, "curvy" is the best way to describe her shape. Not thin, not fat. Shorter than I was, a bit thicker in most places. The thing is, she suffered from a very negative body image. In high school, she had struggled with an eating disorder.

"When I first met you," she confessed to me four years later, "I didn't like you. But only because you were such a good dancer. Then I got to know you."

…Honestly, I've always felt a little strange about that.

anonymous Apr 8, 2015 8:05pm

I grew up witnessing my fat mother being treated like dirt, called stupid and lazy, passed up for job opportunities even though she had a PhD and is brilliant. My mother who raised two daughter on her own, one with paranoid schizophrenia, while working full time and going to school. Who later became a Benedictine nun. She is still shamed because of her appearance. Years later, when I lost my ovaries at the age of 33, I became sick with anorexia. I had been a low normal weight til I was 35 and then I became obsessed with control over my damaged surgically menopausal body and weight loss seemed to be the ticket. I dropped to 89 lbs at 5'5.5 inches, and I stayed underweight for six years. More often than not I was envied and complimented (even by a therapist) until my weight got to under 95 lbs. I very rarely encountered thin shaming. When I got REALLY thin, people stared but no one said anything, save my doctors. I now suffer with severe osteoporosis. I got to a low normal weight last year finally…113 lbs. I struggle here. The message to lose weight is everywhere. I am the fat one in some of my dance or exercise classes or yoga. It is HARD to love and accept my body, not only because I do have curves now, but because I struggle with thyroid problems, menopause, pains from bad bones. I am not wonder woman with boundless energy. I was castrated. It is hard to let go of regret and mourning for allowing a surgeon to take my ovaries away when I was 33 years old in 2005. I also have social anxiety and pairing my weight down and fat off makes it easier for me to be seen in public and not as self conscious because I don't feel people are judging me as much. I do NOT lose weight easily and am not at my natural weight and have to work incredibly hard to be where I am. I sacrifice time and so much for it. It is hard not to envy the woman in the article, who is healthy and full of life and energy. I am also deeply affected by my Mother's experience and I learned early how unfair and cruel people are. I still think fat shaming is FAR worse than thin shaming, and it is easy to preach loving yourself when you naturally have what everyone wants.

anonymous Mar 30, 2015 5:38pm

Thank you so much for writing this! I was always blessed with a healthy body shape, but ended up having a phase where I basically just starved myself because of how driven I was by fake media, instead of my life goals. Finally, I've found something I truly love and do with a passion (running) and now I feel comfortable in my body. I don't even know how much I weigh or what my pants size is because, frankly, I don't care. All I know is that I can run for a really long time and that makes me happy. Thank you so much for sharing something so powerful that very few people have the nerve to say <3

anonymous Mar 29, 2015 8:41pm

As I read your post, I kept thinking “hell yes!”. I’m in the same skinny boat. I get constant comments about what I eat, or don’t eat, or criticism over my “skeletore hands”. I.Am.Small. There is nothing I can do about it, and making fun of me is no less hurtful than it is to a larger woman, but somehow along the way it became ok to jab me in the ribs, or assume all I freaking eat is lettuce chips. I grew up hearing things like “If you didn’t have feet would you wear shoes, then why do you wear a bra?”. Don’t assume because I’m a size zero that it means I have small feelings.

anonymous Mar 28, 2015 3:19pm

Wonderful post – it is not about being a 00, it is about fitting into the body you were given perfectly -www.simple-truth.com/mindfuldiet

anonymous Mar 28, 2015 10:32am

Thanks for writing this! When I try to talk to others about how I feel being skinny and accepting my body, it sounds like I am bragging to others. We all struggle to feel good about our bodies. I would dread summertime and shorts wearing season every year. I had to work up the courage to wear shorts and be comfortable and not feel shy about my legs. I have countless times had people comment on my size and saying “must be nice”. Nail salon ladies while scrubbing my feet and calves encircle my ankles with their hands and laugh to each other and say “you are soo skinny!” Someday I believe I will keep pounds on. I am now 44years old. 5ft 6 and 108lbs. I am a climber and cyclist and eat healthy and balance that with my love of eating large meals, French fries and whatever else is lying around. I work in an ER and donuts and candies are always there for the taking. When I eat one, co workers like to exclaim “wow! I didn’t know you ate things like that.”
In the late 80’s with models like Kate Moss started popping up, I was comforted in knowing that others thought she was thin and still beautiful.
Thank you for letting me vent. Thank you for sharing! There are few people who actually understand . I love my body. But when life puts a stressor on us, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling not worthy or less than beautiful.

anonymous Mar 28, 2015 9:39am

This is where women are different from men. Men would never complain about a male model who is muscular strong and has incredible looking abs. On another note – men would never complain about the porn industry use of actors who have bigger penises. You just don’t see men marching up and down the street waving placards screaming we want to see “real dicks”. Women however would be more likely to complain and sneer about a sister who has bigger boobs, a more beautiful face, and who has had surgical enhancements. And goddess help the girl is she has used her natural charms to get ahead in life. The sad fact is that women are more than likely to tear down their own sisters to make themselves feel better.

anonymous Mar 28, 2015 6:41am

That was beautiful! In high school, I was a stick, and I remember not loving myself. Since then (10 years) I'm sure I've gained 50 lbs– and now I have too many curves and still want to change my body. Thanks for spreading self love!

anonymous Mar 28, 2015 6:06am

Thank you for the great read! I too have been bullied because of my thinness. I think the word skinny is as ‘kind’ as the word fat.

anonymous Mar 28, 2015 12:25am

thank you for sharing this. My thin friend always used to proclaim she was fat and my response was, “then what am I, a beached whale?” It’s amazing how self-image affects us all, and I’m thankful for your perspective. I’ve always been curvy and had a hard time with that as a young girl. I am thankful now that I love myself the way I am. We are all beautiful. I really enjoyed this piece. Thanks again.

anonymous Mar 22, 2015 10:39am

I've said it once, I'll say it again: Healthy looks good on everybody. In such a diverse group of beings there should never be one ideal size for everyone to try and fit into. Love what you have, and love it fiercely! I'll save the link and hand it to anyone who tells me "I should eat a hamburger" or "You're going to blow away!". The intention isn't always bad but it certainly doesn't come across as flattering. Thank you thank you thank you for putting this into the words so eloquently 🙂

anonymous Mar 3, 2015 12:24am

Thank you for writing this article, it's so inspiring to read this I feel like I can relate to everything about it. I'm 6'2 and weigh 115 lbs and have struggled with body image since middle school. I would hear rumors through the grapevine that I was anorexic multiple times throughout my life. On top of that, people make comments like "How are you so skinny?" "How often do you eat or how much do you eat?". Or the most popular one is when 2 people are having a conversation five feet away from you saying "Dude, that girl is so skinny", not even realizing that the person they are talking about can hear them loud and clear. People automatically assume that when they see a thin person that they are either bulemic or anorexic, which is incredibly judgmental. Throughout high school, I was extremely self conscious about my body image and heighth, even though others would tell me to embrace it. How do you embrace something about yourself that your embarrassed about? These struggles have continued on in my life. I'm now 20 years old and lack so much self confidence that I still haven't learn to accept myself as who I am. It has affected every aspect of my life, especially social situations. The biggest problem that's resulted from this mental abuse is that I have a fear about eating around people. This developed from lunch time during school and feeling afraid that people were constantly looking at me to see how much I eat for them to have proof whether or not I really was anorexic. It got to the point where I stopped eating lunch at school because I was so wrapped up in my head about what other people thought. Unfortunately now that I'm older, that fear of judgement gives me anxiety every time I want to eat when people are around. To compensate for that, I literally leave the room to eat my meal when people are present and if I can't do that then I won't eat any food or wait until people leave, even if I'm starving. It took me a very long time to get over eating in restaurants since I have to physically sit at a table around other people that can see me eat. To overcome this, I've learned to give myself mini pep talks while I eat telling myself "no one's looking, it's just in your head," over and over again until I can reassure myself by looking around the room that truely no one is actually looking. If anyone else out there with weight or body image insecurities experience this fear of eating around others, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It's extremely difficult to live a life when you feel like your constantly being judged by others simply by the way you look. If everyone took a moment to accept others for who they are and not make judgments based on presumptions, I truely believe everyone in this world would enjoy theirs lives a hell of a lot more.

anonymous Feb 26, 2015 1:50am

I think this is so right and women should empower one another, not tear each other down. I am not skinny but I am not curvy either. In fact I have quite a masculin figure, pretty slim, flat chested and shoulders wider than my hips. But I have never hated my body. I have always been grown up around, and believed that loving yourself is the MOST important thing but this seems like an unrealistic goal for so many women. I have had other reasons to be self conscious about my appearance and I understand this battle. What I struggle with is how can we help those, whatever their size, who cannot be happy with their appearance. How can we encourage all women to believe in themselves and stop toeturing themselves because they are trying to fit an “ideal” that is misconstrued. I don’t know the answer but I hope that we can. Great post I will share on my social media.

anonymous Jan 29, 2015 12:23pm

Absolutely! Skinny women deserve to be treated as women. But there is a problem in the fact that the VAST majority of models are size 0 when so many women are not size 0. There needs to be a better balance there. And there is a problem in the fact that so many models are actually suffering from eating disorders to maintain that size 0 as opposed to having the metabolism you have.

anonymous Jan 17, 2015 9:18am

Great. I am male and have the same metabolism. I also had a journey of self acceptance andI'm proud to say I did it. But from that point I made conscious decision to educate myself and put effort into what i would like to look like. Diet (eating high calorie meals few times a day) and regular specific excersises helped me to gain weight. It's good to do it from a point that you have already accepted how you look. Through acceptance i got motivation and mission to gain weight, not out of lack mentality, but out of wanting to grow.

anonymous Jan 16, 2015 10:17am

Thank you for this. I, too, am a size zero. Always have been (except while pregnant of course). For whatever reason, I haven’t ever really struggled too much with body image issues, probably because I don’t think about it that much. I am healthy! My genetics are just very small boned and lean. What I have struggled with are the questions and comments some people seem to think are okay because I am a small person, such as “how much do you weigh?” (really??) and “are you anorexic?” (NO I am not, and never have been) and “what size do you wear or do you wear kids clothes?”. I am not ashamed to say I wear a size zero, I’m just tired of the comments that come after that. Who the f*#k cares what size I am? But I’m another “real woman” who would like to see people just stop using the term “real woman”. We’re all REAL.

anonymous Jan 16, 2015 6:46am

i believe this so much. Im a size 2 and people look at me and are like do you eat? do you even gain weight? like dude i eat more then the normal human being and eat healthy as well. a snack will be yogurt, granola and a little honey to sweeten up then as a drink herbal tea with honey. Im active and I have a fast metabolism. I have more muscle then fat percentage in my body but that doesn’t mean I don’t look at myself in the mirror and think, my shoulders are too wide or that my butt is not luscious enough. my boyfriend will always remind that I’m beautiful the way I am made but you know sometimes you just can’t help but think that you can improve your image you can improve yourself by adding a little more meat in a few places. IT BOTHERS ME THAT I DONT HAVE MEAT ON MY BONES BUT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT I DO AND EVERYONE DOES just in different amounts, we are all different man. I used to joke around with my mom, because she’s got some meat to spare, that we could take one of her boobs and give it to me and my sister and we’d both have C cup boobs and a luscious booty. My mother is over 160 lbs and she is one of the most successful people I know. SHE’S HAPPY WITH HER WEIGHT. She’s beautiful just the way she is and she’s happy. That’s really all that matters to me is that my mom is happy.

anonymous Jan 16, 2015 4:14am

For all my skinny sisters: don’t worry, you will gain weight once your metabolism slows down, and it will. For some is having a kid or two, and for others is just the passing of time. But it will arrive, and you will long for the days when you could eat anything you wanted, and if you aren’t careful, you will have a hard time breaking that habit – I did – and you will gain too much. Of course there is a very small, tiny, skinny, percentage that might remain that thin for always without some major sacrifice, but I have not met them yet. Enjoy being thin. I also was told many times to gain weight, to eat a burger, and I hated that my collar bones were so pronounced, and my hips so square and bony. I always had a butt though, that was my best ass-et. But in my late 40s, 47 to me exact, I gained 20 lbs just because I was stressed, and I was not even eating bad foods, it was just my body’s reaction to cortisol. After I turned 30 and had my first child, the weight begun to very slowly increase, but I loved it because I looked healthy and my hips were round and my bones weren’t so prominent and I looked healthy, and could eat anything still. The increase in weight was very stable and it reached a plateau after my third child, but I was still a size 5/6 and fit. But I knew I better start being careful now. And I was. I have been. But when the weight comes, it’s with a vengeance. It wants to compensate. So worry not.

anonymous Jan 15, 2015 5:27pm

“The Beauty Myth” is a *book*, Janne, and one you should probably have taken the time to read before writing this. Changing one’s body image isn’t as easy as just deciding to “accept yourself”, or following some sappy listicle full of saccharin little truisms like “Take time for yourself” or “Never stop learning”. Real change requires overcoming the inertia instilled within us through mother culture. You do not have the tools to fix this problem.

Being thin and pretty does not endow you with the understanding of what will work for others, Janne. You are not a clinical psychologist; you are not a recovering from body dysmorphia. You have never suffered from the problems you seem to want to fix in others; in the process, you’re (rather shamelessly) hunting for compliments—of which you assuredly receive many, as you are blessed with the cultural ideal. Quit while you’re ahead; enjoy the benefits of being thin and pretty. Just leave the writing to people who have something valuable to say.

anonymous Jan 15, 2015 11:37am

Thank you for this. The term I hate the most is "skinny bitch". Why am I a bitch because I'm skinny? I eat whatever I want, I can't help my metabolism. However, I also don't drink sugary beverages or cream-laden coffee drinks that I see so many women drinking as they are wondering why they can't lose weight.

anonymous Jan 15, 2015 10:56am

When I was in junior high I was diagnosed with severe anxiety. I was sick every day I could hardly eat and was a size 00 because anything bigger hung off me. I weighed 65 pounds in grade 7. I heard non-stop comments regarding my weight from friends to family to strangers. Hearing people say "wow. You need to eat something." Killed me inside because you know what? I already KNEW that I needed to eat something!!! Nobody knows another persons story or why they act the way they do, weigh what they weigh, etc. Even my doctor harassed me when I tried to figure out why I was too sick to eat every day. People don't judge a book by its cover!

I just want to say, if you ever feel the need to say a degrading thing to someone take a step back and think "maybe there's a reason they look like that that is beyond their own choice"

Be kind to each other! 🙂

anonymous Jan 15, 2015 10:28am

Some of the sexiest women I’ve ever met are at both ends of the size scale (no pun intended ). It absolutely has so much more to do with attitude and personality than dress size. Women, please stop worrying about size, it really doesn’t matter much to people who are worth your thoughts.

anonymous Jan 14, 2015 4:32pm

Oh wah, cry me a river. I am a woman who struggle with her weight. I highly doubt that you have been subject to the same body shaming as I have. Its like an old white guy claiming their is no such thing as white privilege. Its not your fault but you will never understand what fat shaming feels like. I don't really understand how any one could think the cover photo for this piece is photo shopped it is obviously not. Meaning its a nice picture of two women obviously feeling empowered. Great. You mentioned one negative comment from this picture. If I where to post the same picture of my self I would be bombarded with negative comments about my body. This kind of bullying happens to large women on a daily bases. Your a tiny women, lovely. Larger Women should not stop fighting for the respect that we deserve because it makes you feel badly your a size zero. Women come in all shapes and sizes your beautiful and so am I.

anonymous Jan 14, 2015 3:59pm

My skinny scrawny boyfriend thanks you. He should weigh a ridiculous amt because he eats and eats but he never gains. And people comment all the time to him about eating a cheeseburger or something. He's always been called, the little guy. It's hurtful. I'm sharing this with him tonight. Being skinny is just who he is.

anonymous Dec 31, 2014 9:59am

Janne, If that is the picture of you with your arms stretched up between the mountain peaks, you have an awesome ass and a killer body. You just keep moving on!

anonymous Dec 16, 2014 9:00am

How liberating! Thank you for this amazing, intelligent and compassionate article.
I am a size zero, and have been battling between accepting compliments, feeling the envy of other women, feeling inadequate when I see curvy celebs, and feeling embarrassed by skinny shaming.
I used not to feel like a "real" woman. I am now trying to embrace my sensual feminine goddess, feel good in my own skin. Reading this article is a beautiful step in my journey. Thank you!

anonymous Dec 14, 2014 6:34pm

I want to enjoy this author but after reading a few of her pieces I find the message to be hypocritical, when you state so many times over that you are a size zero and make what feels like passive aggressive comments towards larger women or women with eating disorders. All that to say size doesn’t matter? Clearly it does to the author. Articles like this, who seem to preach one thing but after a closer look really perpetuate the issues are a huge disappointment. I read another article where again the author tells us how beautiful she is, a size zero, again and again but yet people are abusive to her… I’m feeling she may be trying to get attention cause this message is clearly very self serving and never seems to include others pain and experiences. She has no clue at all of anyone’s point of view but her own. Which is her prerogative but I can’t listen to it anymore.

anonymous Dec 10, 2014 10:35am

I can speak from both sides of the scale when it comes to being OK with who you are – physically and mentally. I’ve never been near what classifies as ‘overweight’, but I was unhappy with my body in the state that it was and wanted to lose some of the belly bump I had goin on. Through the journey of a healthy relationship gone askew, a devaluing I saw through my job, and not an ideal living situation, stress took its toll on my mind and my body. I shrank from 135lbs down to almost 90lbs (about a size 8 down to a 0). I lost the belly bump I wanted to, but I also lost a hell of a lot more. My clothes became loose, my rings wanted to fall off my fingers, and I could no longer sleep on my side or back without a pillow due to the pain I would feel in my bones after laying on them for so long. I was too skinny for my liking. I was not okay in my new form and became so self conscious of how little I had become. I diminished physically and mentally. I finally understood what my sister didn’t like about being a double zero. Through this discovery I have also learned that the most important thing is being ok with ones self. Through this realization, I’ve felt that this is a topic worth conversing about and sharing with the world. Like everything else, every story has two sides. I believe myself blessed to have experienced both sides and to now know where my comfort zone lies and where I most feel like me. And that’s the most important thing 🙂

You can always choose to be nice. So let’s just be nice and embrace who we are and not what we are. We are not the size of the clothes we fit into. We are the minds and hearts of the world. We are spirits in a physical body that comes in all shapes and sizes. We are all beautiful. ♡

anonymous Dec 9, 2014 8:31pm

Coming from a girl who's extremely overweight, I understand girls my size wanting to feel included in society. However, I will never understand girls my size who skinny shame. We get enough body hate ourselves so there's no need to spread more. Size 0 or size 20, everyone is beautiful in some way!

anonymous Dec 8, 2014 2:56pm

thank you

anonymous Dec 8, 2014 9:05am

This is so true, very inspiring. Thanks, skinny sister! I'm so sick of explaining myself, people just don't get that you can be naturally very skinny and healthy at the same time

anonymous Dec 7, 2014 8:55pm

I have not always been a big person, I used to be a size 5 and alot of people hated me for it. Now at a size 20 thats twenty not zero, but I am not going to beat myself up about it, I just have to get to a point in my life that I forgive myself. I will never be a size zero, but I know I wont always be a size 20 either………………..I have to be healthy in my head to be healthy in my body………….I loved reading your article!!!!! Thank you for sharing.

anonymous Dec 7, 2014 6:09pm

Thank you is all I can say.

anonymous Dec 7, 2014 5:08pm

I found the way you dealt with eating disorders extremely offensive and rude. You don't get to pick and choose what kind of stigma you want to break down.
Secondly, saying that society shames thin people is like saying you there is such thing as white racism.
Although, being white (and quite thin! this is coming from someone in your shoes), I have felt discriminated against occasionally and in some cases very hurt by being called things such as 'white trash', but that doesn't make white racism exist, when the huge underlying problem that has been doing on for centuries is racism perpetrated by white people to other races.
Similarly, although you have felt hurt for being thin, your body type is what is glorified by society. If you feel hurt for having the desirable body type, imagine how awful people feel who have not hit the genetic jackpot (or what society determines it to be).
I agree that the main problem is the media's objectification of women's bodies, however, society does not shame thin people, it praises and glorifies them. I think this article could have been a lot better written if it outlined that, instead of the false idea that society bullies those who are thin.

    anonymous Dec 16, 2014 9:41am

    I don’t understand how you can still believe that skinny girls are “glorified” as you say. Did you not read a single comment on this post? Or this post at all? Many of the comments include a small snippet of their bullying experience. I have had coworkers tell me to my face that my body type is disgusting. That I’m nothing but bones and how curves look prettier. Oh what wonderful insight. But I’ve been trying since I was in middle school to gain enough weight to break 100lbs. It hasn’t happened yet and I’m half way through college. So just in case you didn’t get to read any of the comments above your comment, this is my bullying experience. I’m so, so sorry that you still believe that all of us skinny people want this. Because it is just as hard to gain weight as it is to lose weight.

anonymous Dec 6, 2014 10:18pm

I didn’t know skinny people get this much shit from others. I was on the other side of things. In the 6th grade I was 6’2 221 pounds.I print much resented small or skinny people because I caught shit from everyone for being freaky big and suffered from dozens of ridiculous nick names. I would like to say I’m sorry to the small people that I’ve hated for most of my life. I didn’t realize you guys had it just as bad.

anonymous Dec 6, 2014 8:50pm

Amen! People don’t believe me when I tell them I was bullied as a child. They think I’m just looking to bring attention to the fact that I am thin. I have come to terms with my body, and that not all people appreciated it. However, I still feel as if my larger friends don’t appreciate me trying to relate to them with their own struggles with body imagine and comments from strangers. My struggle may not be exactly the same, however I do feel that I can relate. It’s amazing how the rest of the world does not think this is a problem, thank you for shedding light on this problem! It’s not ok to accuse someone of an eating disorder and/or comment on their weight EVER. I wish I could protect all those naive innocent young girls in high school girls that are currently going through this type of bullying. However I do appreciate you asking people to take the first step to end this issue!

anonymous Dec 6, 2014 8:17pm

When I was anorexic many years ago, I was regularly sneered at and insulted. I was even followed home once by a gang of teenagers trying to freak me out for some reason. I recall when I was once working in a store, a man came in, looked me up and down and said — please eat, you could be a beautiful woman. I’ve had grown men walk behind me saying they’d never fuck me because they’re not gay and into 12 year old boys. I’d never fuck them either but who’s counting?! Its very interesting how when YOUR body represents something someone else finds unusual or rare, suddenly the onlooker assumes that they have the right to express their distaste in the most offensive way they can imagine and i dont know, perhaps you’ll thank them for it??! Either they think someone so unusual can’t be affected by their abuse negatively or that that abuse is somehow justified and I would say they think giving it makes them righteous. Everyone who ever assaulted me like that always seemed, well, dimentedly proud of themselves. I am no longer anorexic but I am still small framed and reminded of it often in conversation. When I get a negative comment I try to defend myself with that same pride I notice in my attackers. I work hard to stay in good shape, my shape. If people don’t like that shape they can go fuck themselves. (Pardon my language)

anonymous Dec 6, 2014 3:59pm

I’m 5’2 and a size zero. I’m little whatever. But this article is silly… #whitegirlproblems #firstworldproblems

    anonymous Dec 6, 2014 8:54pm

    So either you have perfect proportions and were never bullied, or you have skin of steel. Either way congrats! And don't be negative about a wonderfully written article about a true problem with women's self esteem issues.

    anonymous Dec 16, 2014 11:29am

    Hi Heather
    We all have our issues… what seems like an issue to one person is not to another one.
    It is great if you accept your body. Well done! But maybe it is a bit shallow to say the article is "silly" just because you can't relate.

anonymous Dec 5, 2014 11:27pm

So I love this article! I am a "fat" girl. Like I don't mean curvy. I mean fat! And have been for most of my life, however I am very lucky to be able to say that I have rarely been bullied for it, honestly in the 14 years that I have been overweight I can think of 5 times that someone (outside of my family) has commented negatively on my weight. And 4 of those 5 comments came from girls who were very near my size or bigger.
Most of my friends are thin, a lot of them have been trying for years to put on weight and I've had to watch them go through more crap as a thin girl than I have as an overweight one. So I know first hand that prejudices and bullying happens to any type of person. And although I have always been jealous of their body size, I've also always known that that is a problem with me, in my brain, and there is nothing they or anyone else could do about it.
Okay now the actually reason I came here, sorry I got a little side tracked there, I want to know from some of you thin girls, your view on "thin privilege". From my view it is a real thing, people are more apt to give a skinny person a job over a fat person, assuming they are both equally qualified etc… But like I said that is not the person applying for the jobs fault, and I would never degrade someone for "winning" against me even if I knew for a fact that they won because they were smaller than me. However I want to know if my view is skewed, if as a larger person I have been trained to believe thin privilege is real. Anyway. Not trying to upset anyone, just looking for honest feedback and opinions. 🙂

anonymous Dec 5, 2014 12:38pm

All too familiar, and I am here to tell you, “things never change”. I was always the “skinny girl”. (absolutely familial) Looking back at my high school yearbook, many of my friends’ comments started with, “stick woman ” or “hey bird legs”. It was always ok to say, “you are SO skinny!”. (as if it would be acceptable to say to someone, you are SO fat!”) My mom would make me full fat ice cream milkshakes with Tiger’s Milk protein and a raw egg for breakfast. I ate all of the junk food, and as much as I wanted of it, that none of my friends would dare consume. I was “envied” that I could wear a crochet string bikini, but poked fun at in a miniskirt, because of my “chicken legs”. I was married, at 24, 5’9″, weighing 115 lbs. (ironically, my husband had first noticed me on the tennis courts, BECAUSE of those chicken legs! 😉 Well, time marches on, and history does repeat itself. One of my daughters suffered bullying (including the new age “cyber bullying”) in middle school, and was often asked about her bulimia and/or anorexia. It was, of course, a difficult and hurtful time, however I was able to relate to her situation and she (we) got through it. (Interestingly, her twin sister had to deal with just the opposite bullying…..girls can be so mean. :/ ) My children are thriving, empathetic, young adult college students and I am now a middle aged woman, dealing with trying to maintain a “healthy” weight. Luckily, I DO have those “skinny genes”, though no skinny jeans, which makes it easier for me to manage my weight.

Take heart, skinny girls, and ALWAYS consider how what you say may affect others.

anonymous Dec 5, 2014 10:34am

Hi Janne,
First of all I would like to thank you for all of the writing you do. You are incredibly talented. I also want to share bit of my journey with you. I am also from Sherwood Park . I was always average size, never chubby but decided I wanted to be thinner; to fit the "perfect" thin ideal. I thought it would make my life easier. To me, your body represented everything I strived for; everything I was killing myself for. To me, you are perfect. I realize we all struggle with self-esteem issues, but I could use some words of guidance from someone who to me you were perfect. You and your skinny sisters were what I was starving myself for and had to be hospitalized for and would have died to look like. I know this is my struggle and I don't intend for this to come across as from anywhere but love. I struggle daily to derogate the "thin ideal" that is presented in the media. I know it is what is inside that counts and try to practice self-love but every day is a struggle. I would do anything to look like you. I suffer dissonance when I read your words, as I try to love my body and feel nothing but love towards people like yourself who have naturally thin bodies but still am consumed by incredible jealously and desire to be a size 0.

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 8:35pm

Thank you thank you thank you for posting this article. While I read over negative comments that bully my body type as being unreal and un-relatable to a plus size woman’s struggles I applaud you for posting this. Growing up, my natural body type has been underweight according to the pediatricians. My whole family was like this. I am 20 years old and am a size zero at 103 pounds. I eat three meals a day and exercise at least once a week. Besides the jokes about my small boobs and skinny legs, I am usually comfortable in my body until someone hugs me and tells me I need to eat a cheeseburger. I eat plenty, thanks. I have noticed this going around facebook posted by friends in the similar situation, and it makes me feel like a real human when I see I am not the only one who feels this way. Screw all the people who say it’s not a “real” problem because yes it is. You can’t say you look unhealthy to me when I’m a 16 year old girl running xcountry eating 5 meals a day to gain weight because skinny shaming is “in.” Thanks to the haters, I hated my body you all envied. I’m thankful I have come to a point where I am thankful for my body, and don’t want to be anyone else. Peace

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 8:18pm

Amen!
Although my naughty body learned how to hold onto curves when I broke 25, I was a stick until then. Now I am commiserating with you re: women On the The other end sneering. It's not easy on either end if the spectrum. Can't we all just celebrate that we are women and forget about the esthetics?

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 5:18pm

Maddie,

Yes, you are right. It is a mental illness. I am a size zero and have been my life. I have been accused of doing those things even though I have never and will never. It is unfair to judge anyone period. The point she was trying to make is it doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like: Love yourself. That is the important thing. I was so upset about my weight for so long. If I could just gain 10-15 pounds I would be happy….It never happened. However, with my growing older I have learned to love my body regardless. I am sure no offense was meant to be made by that comment. Having said that, I have been asked if I had done that before. That is always the first thing that comes to peoples minds when they look at me. It shouldn’t be the first things that comes to mind though. We all value how we look to much. The important thing is that we are happy with ourselves and that no one else can be the judge of our beauty, but ourselves. Great post. I could relate to what you said fully!

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 4:56pm

This is a great article. I am the plus size woman on the other side of the spectrum. The world is made of all shapes and sizes and it is time that people except that. I do not overeat, I am not a slob and for most of my life have been very active. I do however have a thyroid disease which has made weight lost almost impossible. Even with this weight I am not jealous of my smaller friends, it is what it is. I think for most that have issues with size is a mental thing. People complain about Barbie and how unrealistic she is and how it can be damaging to young girls. I was born big and stayed that way, I played with Barbies and at 43 I still love them. Never once did I want to be Barbie or think of her shape. She was simply a doll to me. People need to be taught to love themselves from the moment they are born. Shaming should never be part of someone’s life, small or large.

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 4:40pm

Thank you for this article. I have had similar experiences where people think it’s okay to make jokes about my size and then get all surprised when I get offended. I was bullied in school for being skinny and it did serious harm to my self-esteem which I still struggle with today. I am working on it though. It just annoys me that people define women by their bodies. That and the fact that you see other women declaring how proud they are of their own bodies whilst putting down other body types without realising that they are part of the problem,

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 4:37pm

Hello,
I'm finding that a large percentage of people all think we can attain the same body type (everything being equal, diet, exercise, etc.). The fact is we cannot. We all come in different sizes and with different metabolisms. I am curious if you are familiar with theory of Somatotypes? This idea classifies most individuals under 3 basic body types: Ectomporph (hard-gainer/skinnny), Mesomorph (athletic/muscular frame) and Endomorph (fat retainers/ curvy).
http://www.superskinnyme.com/body-type.html — This is a wonderful article that explains this theory. If everyone could understand their bodies better, there would be less bullying and more realistic and healthier expectations of your own body.

As an ectomorph, I truly believe in this theory. I consume over 200 grams of protein per day just to maintain a steady weight. I am a man, and being an ectomorph was a curse throughout high school, but as I get older I try to leverage the pros. As a women ectomorph, you are in a very enviable position and I wouldn't expect you to get much sympathy expect of course from your fellow ectomorphs.

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 1:55pm

while I appreciate what you’re saying, bulimia is a mental illness. In the article you state”I have never shoved my fingers down my throat”. That’s a pretty ignorant thing to say for someone who claims to have been bullied and treated unfairly. As someone who has suffered from an eating disorder, the way you portray bulimia in this article is extremely sad and contradictory to your points. The way you talk about bullying you should respect what someone with bulimia is going through and not say things in such a way that makes people feel badly about themselves.

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 9:53am

Great article! In it you wonder:

I wonder if they would have done the same if I was a 300 pound woman?

The answers is yes.. yes they would and do..

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 9:44am

I wouldn't ever poke fun at a thin person because I definitely believe every body is beautiful. In fact, I found the "fat positive" song All About That Bass annoying because it made fun of "skinny bitches" which ruined an otherwise perfectly lovely song.

But, articles like this are hard for me because thin people are afforded privileges that fat people are not and that is not really being acknowledged here. This is the body weight equivalent of a middle-aged white male telling people of other races and genders that we should all stop picking on each other and be happy. Yeah, while that is true, the world they believe in doesn't exist right now and we have something to fix.

It's not simply a matter of self acceptance, either, which we can also agree is very hard. In fact, framing this as a self acceptance issue and making it about getting to know ourselves is circumnavigating a larger systematic problem. This author is ignoring the fact (or maybe doesn't know?) that fat people have to deal with very real consequences that aren't related to health or even being made fun of in public (which she had the nerve to ask if that happens to 300lb women. Yes. It does ). Fat people are discriminated against when it comes to employment, and job interviews. They make less than their thin counterparts and they are often prescribed "weight loss" and denied treatment that would be otherwise given to thinner bodies.

So while, yeah, my own raw heart is definitely showing on my sleeve in regards to this issue its really really hard for me to listen to people complain about their privilege. The woman who wrote this article (who I'm sure is very nice) has literally no idea what it's like to be a three hundred pound woman, but nearly every three hundred pound woman can remember a time in her life in which she believed she wasn't completely "broken" from her body all the way down to her self esteem and soul.

Just as woman toss out "size zero" as a mark of some impossible standard this author is confident tossing about ideas about weight when she has no actual, internal concept of what it's like to be chronically obese in a world that is not built for overweight people (physically, financially, and emotionally).

So, while I will say congrats on the body positive post, I would respectfully encourage the author to do a little more research into thin privilege.

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 6:54am

As a teenager I was brought into the doctors office and he said "according to this chart"! I was too skinny and then proceeded to ask if I stuck my finger down my throught. I was mortified as a fragile teenager all ready teased because of my weight. Maybe it was good because he could have saved someone else but look at my chart buddy. I've always been this way. I've been self conscious my whole life! I'm better now as almost 40 but I know the struggle.

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 4:15am

In Europe she would be considered normal sized. She is normal sized. It’s just that in the USA there is an obesity epidemic because massive corporations have virtually total control of the food supply; Americans are enraged, jealous and confused over their lack of ability to control of their weight and don’t know who to blame so they unleash on this rather lovely looking lady.

Your enemy is the Big Food corporations, the various forms of brightly colored, massively sugared, addictive garbage they allow you to choose from; and their massive influence on gvmt…. wake up….

anonymous Dec 4, 2014 1:47am

Thank you for this! This was so refreshing to read!
For those still commenting that skinny women aren't actually facing this ridicule or claiming this experience is somehow less painful than your own, I, too, will raise my hand in protest. I can't tell you how often I face ridicule for being thin. I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't trying like crazy to gain weight. I endure countless unprovoked comments and insults about my size. I've had a car full of guys drive by me at the beach yelling "DRINK SOME ENSURE" (in front of hundreds of people, might I add. It was mortifying, to say the least). I've had men and women alike tell me I look disgusting and/or insinuate that anyone who wants to date me must be a closet pedophile, because no mentally sound person could ever desire me. It took me years to work up the courage to wear shorts because I hated always being reminded that I have "chicken legs." I've had family members approach me or other family members "concerned" that I might have an eating disorder. I could go on. I'm not a very active person either. I work in retail management and rarely have time or energy for exercise. Actually, there was a period in my life that I'd endured so much ridicule and became so convinced that something must be wrong with me that I scheduled numerous appointments with my doctor to find out why I couldn't gain weight. I had a gastroscopy done, my thyroid tested, blood work done, my digestion studied, I was tested for several diseases and disorders, etc., all to conclude that I was simply suffering from an insanely fast metabolism. It was during this time that my doctor told me that on average I burn over 3,000 calories per day. Just sitting on my ass. Doing absolutely nothing. If you don't know what that's like, let me tell you, it sucks. It's not only why I can't gain weight, but it's also why I'm almost constantly hungry. I mean seriously, pretty much always. Let that sink in for a moment. Nearly always hungry, all the time. The fact that I eat a TON of food almost makes the situation worse. I have to deal with people constantly assuming I'm bulimic because of the amount on my plate. Just about every time I go out to eat at a restaurant and order a lot of food, the server will say something to the effect of "Are you sure about that? It's really big/a lot of food!" and then they always look concerned or judgemental when they take away a clean plate. I've gotten in the habit of holding my bladder until I get home just to avoid the looks I recieive if I go to the bathroom.
Basically, I say all of this to say it isn't fair to call someone's pain unjustified just because you haven't experienced it first hand. I'm not in any way saying one end is worse than the other. I'm saying real people exist on both ends, and we should all start acting like it! My hips aren't by any means big, but they're still hips capable of being held onto!

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 11:44pm

I love skinny women! Your perfect beautiful!

Peace, love, happiness!

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 10:59pm

I do see the point you are attempting to argue here Janne, but the sheer fact that the entire first half of your article could be replaced by the sentence, “Hey everyone who is body-conscious, tough luck I’m skinny and it’s great!” inherently denigrates the argument you then put forward in the rest of your piece.

The utter hubris to proudly proclaim, even brag, that you have never had to “stick a finger down your throat” or have “even been on a diet” and yet you still have the body we all wish we had, makes your later attempt to relate to everyone’s body-image struggle sound tone-deaf, misguided, and ultimately contrived. Not to mention purposefully including a quote from a reader referring to you as a gorgeous model just for good measure. Forgive me if I struggle to believe the person whose personal elucidation of her situation includes never dieting, never dealing with a disorder, and includes a self-selected reference to her praise-worthy body when she tells me that she knows what we are all feeling.

Your plea for self-love is a good message Janne, but your argument is completely without tact, and sadly, just simply sounds like, along with me, you don’t believe it either.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 10:49pm

I LOVE this article. I’m a strong woman with an ass, runners thighs that will always touch a little and a trim waist. I struggled with not hating on “skinny girls” because I so desperately wanted to be one of them.I wanted a thigh gap and little arms and smaller calves. It took me years to realize each of us is made a certain way and every way is beautiful. I have multiple health issues that make keeping weight off difficult but through diet and exercise I can be healthy. The day I decided healthy is beautiful is the day I became so much happier. Some people are just born differently. I was born with thighs I used to despise but now when I look down I see thighs that can run miles and hike long distances. I see “skinny women” and remind myself that I have no idea who she is or where she’s come from. Even if she has an eating disorder, that is NOT something to shame. Healthy is beautiful, period. Healthy will look different from person to person. If a woman is struggling with a disorder we should always encourage her to be her healthiest and most beautiful self.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 10:09pm

THANK YOU! I am skinny and I need to be reminded that I'm beautiful too.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 8:53pm

I agree with this article 100% and yet seeing your half-naked picture at the end felt off to me. I hope I can explain why. You wrote “Through repeated images of excessively thin women in media, advertisement, and modeling, thinness has become associated with not only beauty, but happiness and success” and then you post a half-naked picture of yourself, looking like the “images of excessively thin women in media, advertisement, and modeling.” You say we’re all beautiful, then I look at all the pictures on your blog and they’re only “images of excessively thin women in media, advertisement, and modeling.” I can also add white. You say you’ve experienced bullying about your weight and you have felt insecure about your body, buy your actions say different. There’s a reason you post half-naked pictures about yourself and it’s not because you’re insecure. No matter how much teasing you received and still receive, you know you look like the pictures of models you post in your blog and that the media pushes as the standard for women to meet. You know it and I know it so why are you writing like you don’t? I’m 5’8″ and a size 2. I’ve had a people tell me to eat a burger but I know most of it comes from their insecurities and jealousy. In their lack of self-love and self-awareness, I’m the ideal they strive to achieve, or some size close to it. When 50% of our country is obese, my self-esteem is not in danger. I’m not judging other women for being what size they are – it’s not my business – and I don’t take what other people say personally – 1. because I know who and what I am and 2. because soceity tells me on a daily basis that I’m ok. You’re like a person on a diet complaining to a person that’s starving. Yes, you’re both hungry but while you’re inconvienced, they’re dying. I don’t know if you can grasp what I’m saying and I don’t know if you even want to, but there’s a reason you don’t see any 350 lb writers posting their bikini pictures on EJ and there’s a reason you’re so quick to do so. Like another commenter said, if you want to celebrate all women, then include all women. Step away from the skinny, white, tan models, and the selfies, and do something different.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 8:31pm

I think what you're saying is great but you cannot compare being skinny to being overweight. We all have self esteem issues. That's human. If we were all truly body positive we wouldn't shame anyone and all be proud of each other for who we are. The only difference in being skinny and being overweight is that your body type is regularly represented in society. That's why we make a big deal about including larger people in everything. Especially women. I do not doubt that you've been made fun of and had inappropriate comments thrown at you but you have to understand that the way you are made fun of is very different from the way we are. It hurts no matter what size, and it's not correct. But your body type is commonly represented as normal or good in society while ours are labeled as horrible and unlovable. You are represented in television shows, movies, magazines, ads, even theater. Skinny acceptance is everywhere. Yes, not everyone is nice to people. But larger people, particularly women, are shunned for their size. That's the difference. So while I think you are great as you are I don't expect you to understand what it's like to be told you can't be hired for a job because you're too large or to have people film you and post photos and videos of you on the Internet. And I certainly don't expect you to understand what it's like to try and find any character you can relate to on any television show that's a normal, loved, overweight lady with no mention of her size ever. It's rare. And it sucks.

With that said, I'm happy you are happy with yourself. You should always be happy with yourself. And don't let others words discourage you ever.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 7:09pm

From one skinny sister to another, thank you for this article!!

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 6:41pm

This was very inspiring. The story of my life.. and barely anyone ever understands. Thank you x

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 6:10pm

This is a wonderful article! No, I’m not a size zero but I’m what people would call a thick, atheltic woman. I work hard to maintain my weight and feed my body and mind what it needs not what it wants. ( most days)

I support healthy living and if that means size zero or a size 16 what matters is that woman support each other to live a HAPPY and HEALTHY life!

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 5:09pm

Thank you for writing this article. Growing up I always felt so self conscious of my body. When I was 13 I had to leave school for five weeks for medical reasons completely unrelated to my weight. When I returned there were rumors flying that I had been in treatment for anorexia. No one had any reason to assume that I had anorexia, except for my thin, 90 pound frame that I had no control over. I was so hurt that people would rush to that conclusion. The same day, we were running laps in gym class and a boy ran by me and shouted “anorexic!” very loudly. I was so embarrassed. This was over ten years ago today and I still remember how badly it felt that people were judging me for my size, for what my body looks like. Because in our society if someone is on either end of the “size” spectrum then they are going to be relentlessly judged. I can’t gain weight. It just doesn’t happen for me. I love food and I eat…a lot. This is just the way my body is and I have grown to love and accept it. But even now there are times when I see a female celebrity with a curvy shape and feel envy. We are taught in the media that it’s unattractive to be too thin or too heavy. Instead of encouraging women to embrace their bodies the media is constantly telling us what we are not. It’s a dangerous pattern that has emerged and I hope that for the sake of women and men alike that people can stop putting so much emphasis on weight. If you are a size zero or a size 16 you are beautiful because you are you and that’s all that really matters!

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 4:06pm

I am in a situation that this article basically sums up. I am a freshman in high school, and I havent been above 85lbs throughout my entire life. People yell at me that I need to start eating, and randomly pick me up in the hall way as if I am a doll. If they didnt know me, they would think I was nine, which by the way my doctor has mistaken me for a nine year old, which is kind of pathetic since she had my information in her hand. When people make comments like this to me I feel like I dont belong with them, and that they dont accept me. I get told to “eat gravy” by sales accociates and “Do you only want half of that burger?” while at a restaurant. I am 14 years old and i wear on average a size 12 kids jeans, but my feet look way to big to belong to me. I wear small bras from the little kids section, but the same size doesnt fit in the womans section. People in my grade can nearly fit their hands around my waist and compliment me on it, or find it absolutely revolting that you can see my ribs through my tank top. That is when they tell me to start eating, and gain some weight. It doesnt matter what I eat, I cant seem to gain weight if I eat more and more, or if I lift weights or if I work out. People tell me often that they “wish I was the same size of you!” As if. Honestly, it sucks. Its aweful not weing able to buy jeans that ACTUALLY fit me right, or find a shirt that isnt covered in sparkles and ponys and fits me. Even in P.E. we take tests to see if you are a healthy size, and of course my numbers arent even on the scale. Size shouldnt matter! People shouldnt be approaching me to guess how much I weigh, and people shouldnt treat “large people” different either. We are all human and that is all that matters.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 3:57pm

Thin shaming is bad and wrong and hurtful. Its shitty and should be stopped. However, thin shaming is not a result of a culture wide, systematic campaign to put a sigma on thinness. Thinness is already valued and praised in our culture. Thin bodies are privileged over fat bodies. Thin bodies are seen and "good" and fat bodies are seen as "bad." Thinness is seen as the ultimate goal and the ultimate achievement. Thin shaming is not oppression. You may not feel this way individually but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. The hatred of fat bodies is so built in to our society that people don't even recognize the discrimination because it is so ingrained. Again thin shaming is rude and hurtful and should be stopped. Bullying people for being thin is unacceptable but it is nowhere near the same as the oppression fat people experience everyday.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 3:08pm

I love love love this Janne Robinson! I am on the OPPOSITE end of the spectrum. I'm working on loving me, all of me. Learning to be present and learning how to intuitively eat. Spent way to much time comforting and soothing myself with food for childhood trauma. I love your beautiful soul! Thank you for sharing your experience!

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 1:20pm

Love this article, thank you.

I was diagnosed at age thirteen with Crohn’s disease, a severe autoimmune condition that attacks the intestines. I could eat like crazy and not gain an ounce because my intestines just wouldn’t absorb anything and I was living with basically permanent diarrhea, bleeding internally. Most of my teen and early adult years were spent struggling desperately to gain weight, eating ridiculous amounts of calories just to keep from dropping below 100lbs. I’ve been ghoulishly skinny at many times in my life, and very self conscious of it. Then on top of that, my diet has always been very strict because so many things will make me incredibly sick. I only eat things I have prepared myself, and I seldom eat when away from home because digestion is such an issue, so I have strangers offering me food in social situations which I have to turn down, and people look at my weight and the fact that I’m turning down food, and the judgement is so immediate and evident. Then even when, on occasion, I’ve explained my weight to strangers, I’ve been told I’m lucky to have a disease that means I’ll never have to worry about being heavy. I have walked down the midway at my county fair and had carnival workers shout at me that I’m too skinny, without understanding that I had fought tooth and nail to be there that day. I have fought tooth and nail almost every day for a dozen years to stay alive and do simple things that most people take for granted, and throughout that process I’ve been so skinny at times it literally hurts. I have often wished people would see the fight in me and my strength of spirit instead of judging my physical frame and jumping to the assumption that I’m starving myself.

I also have a sister who is perfectly healthy and eats like crazy and can’t seem to get beyond 105lbs.

I’ve always felt that one body type doesn’t have to be ugly and unacceptable for another body type to be beautiful. Rather we need to redefine our ideas of beauty because it’s everywhere.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 6:36am

Thank you so much for this article! As a ‘skinny sister’ myself, this is one subject that always gets me a bit fired up. I’m so happy to see some focus on body shaming shifting towards us skinny gals. I always see internet memes with the “Real women have curves” line and it saddens me. Curves are not what make a woman and those of us that perhaps have straighter lines are no less of woman.

anonymous Dec 3, 2014 12:57am

Thanks you for this. I’m a skinny ass. Have been my whole life. I was constantly teased growing up because when all the other girls had breasts I COULDN’T wear a bra. I felt horrible growing up being sneered at by both girls and boys my own age cause i still looked like a little kid. I’m still skinny, I’ve had a son since then. But I still hear the comments about “picking up weight”, and that I’ve probably never had a decent meal in my life. And then when people actually see me eat, cause I eat anything and every thing that my little ‘ol heart desires then I have to deal with the snide comments that I probably stick my fingers down my throat or that I work out like a crazy person. Before it bothered me a lot but over the years I’ve come to the realization that with many people it’s either resentment for the body I have or they just HAVE the need to be nasty. I have a number of friends who are as skinny as I am and others who are not and I constantly tell them how beautiful they are, because they are no matter their size. I finally realised that being “A REAL WOMAN” isn’t about body size or shape but loving yourself and being happy with your life and doing that which brightens your life and enhance your own happiness.

anonymous Dec 2, 2014 10:22pm

I loved this! I hated when people would tell me I'm scary skinny or that I have the body of a 12 year old boy. I'll take one ticket for that bus please. We're all beautiful.

anonymous Dec 2, 2014 7:01pm

Very true. I have been told that I don’t count in the elevator or that I would float away in the wind. Its rude to talk about people who are bigger than me. I could never tell someone that they are fat but I get “skinny” comments all day. The most I have ever weighed was at the full term of my pregnancy when I weighed 115 pounds. I’m happy that I am not the only one out there and I’m going try and start being happy with my body, flat chest and all.

anonymous Dec 2, 2014 6:11pm

Thank you! So tired of the skinny bashing. I have been thin all of my life, bullied because of it and the recipient of inappropriate remarks and name-calling all the way into my 40’s. No matter what I say or how I try to to explain it, people do not want to hear that being “skinny” is just the other side of the coin. Regardless, I have friends of all shapes and sizes and love every one of them. What they look like doesn’t even occur to me and I think the same holds true for them about me. Acceptance and love is beyond skin deep.

anonymous Dec 2, 2014 5:37pm

valuing skinniness is the issue. skinny ppl like myself will say i can’t help it, but the second i think i’m gaining weight ill change my eating habits. it is out attitude that fat is ugly is the problem. and that won’t go away until people start seeing fat as equally attractive, that starts with the individual deciding that fat is not ugly

anonymous Dec 2, 2014 5:00pm

I DID reverse grab a woman who decided it was ok to put her hands on a stranger while publicly mocking them. I was in an open dressing room (NYC in the 80s) trying to hide my skinny self in the corner and this rather rotund woman shrieked “oh my gaaawwwwd!!! You’re soooo skinny!!! Don’t you ever eat?!?” Whole wrapping her fingers around my wrist to demonstrate the obvious to everyone in the room. She caught me in a bad mood… And I grabbed her wobbly thigh, shook it and announced “don’t you ever stop eating?!?” with the same sh*t eating grin she had on her face. Guess who got the stink eye and gasps from the audience? Not the rude woman who started it.

anonymous Oct 24, 2014 7:14am

Thank you, thank you, thank you. So powerful! No to body shaming in ALL it's forms!

anonymous Oct 22, 2014 4:50am

So much love for this. The thing I've never understood as a (naturally) skinny lady is when people comment things like 'look at that skinny b**ch, she must be anorexic' as if it is okay to ridicule someone for this reason. No. Anorexia is a serious mental health disorder, which should be recognised with empathy, not horrible insults.

anonymous Sep 25, 2014 10:24pm

Thank you! I am a naturally tall woman (my parents are 6'2" and 5'10") who was also born with cystic fibrosis, a deadly disease that makes gaining weight extremely difficult. Throughout my life I have either heard "oh you're SO lucky" (because I have a disease that, in addition to having a life expectancy in the 30s is also, coincidentally, responsible for making me skinny? If that's "lucky", I wish I wasn't!) or, especially more recently, "god, you need to gain weight!" Total strangers feel justified asking me if I've eaten that day, or making inappropriate comments about my weight, never even CONSIDERING that they might be rubbing salt in an already very open wound. It's both humiliating and sad that anyone, regardless of size, should feel uncomfortable about being in public because their body doesn't match some made up idealized version of "normal."

When will we realize that attacking people based on their weight is no more the "solution" to lookism and shallow thinking than drinking a glass of water is the solution to drowning? Beautifully written article.

anonymous Sep 23, 2014 4:24pm

And the taller you are, the worse the skinny comments seem to be. I'm all arms and legs. All skinny. I gave birth to a set of healthy twins and am back to skinny one year later. I've heard all the stupid comments. My thought is wouldn't it be interesting to see if it were socially acceptable to make similar comments of size back to the people who say these rude comments? To have someone say to me, "Oh my goodness, you need to eat something," I'd love to say back, "Maybe you should stop eating so much pie." But oh ho no, that's not socially acceptable to pick on plumper people. Apparently, it's only "acceptable" to pick on skinny people. It's not acceptable to pick on anyone! Thanks Janne for speaking up for all us skinny people!

anonymous Sep 23, 2014 4:21pm

I think that it is still valuable for you to consider presenting different size, skin tone, and shaped women for photographs in your blog. If a particular image of body is over represented as positive and you have the opportunity and position to present other body types positively, I hope that you will have the inclination to take it up.

All women's bodies are over scrutinized. No woman's body type escapes school, or work, or whatever unscathed. And internalized body hatred causes women to lash out at each other and their own.

But the fact remains that thin, white with a tan women are over represented positively as healthy and beautiful. When someone harasses you for your weight, as a thin woman you have more representation supporting you as great the way you are and as ideal.

If even in some small way, through your blog or other ways, if you could add to presenting other bodies as beautiful too it would go a little ways towards removing the internalized self hatred that leads woman to bite other women over their sizes.

anonymous Sep 23, 2014 4:16pm

Thank you what a joy to read. I must admit though, there had been times I ran into those skinny women with animosity and then looked at parts of myself that were jiggly. And after a while it occurred to me that I once was one of those skinny ****es – that is before I had my children umpteen years ago. I do, I do still work out and have come to terms with what I cannot do and cannot achieve as far fitness and as afar as liking what I look like. So, here, here! to all women in all kinds of bodies. – Stevie

anonymous Sep 23, 2014 9:53am

Absolutely FABULOUS and long overdue! You ROCK!!!

anonymous Sep 23, 2014 2:19am

I get it and got it. People will never understand the horrifying things people say to really skinny people got it my whole life. Didn’t gain weight until I was 45 and my thyroid tanked and not working out for 19 years. Now at 47 I could lose about 15 and this little belly is like a foreign appendage to someone who Never weighed over 115 and I am 5’9″. I was very ill and hit 89 pounds and the comments were so unconscious.This angry woman who said get over yourself doesn’t understand and I will say even after the continual barrage of naive mean comments over my weight my whole life and trying to keep weight on, I would rather be thin than over weight. Now I just get OMG you look so much better now lol, like I was some horror show before. I will say I like having some boobs now. Lol it’s really loving yourself and being healthy that is important! But I get it, I really do.

anonymous Sep 22, 2014 11:18am

I'm sorry, but your "persecution" is a lot less intense than someone who's fat and black. You get to be a pretty, skinny white lady. Don't even pretend you know what it's like to be targeted. Get over yourself.

    anonymous Sep 22, 2014 8:04pm

    Right?!? Thank you

    anonymous Sep 25, 2014 7:34pm

    So, you’re saying because people have said worse things to you that its alright for you to continue the cycle. This is not a competition for who is suffering most. She’s saying LOVE yourself no matter what shape, size, or COLOR you are. You think being a “pretty skinny white lady” means life is easier and that worse things have not been done to that type of person? How about you get over your close-minded self and realize that you saying that only perpetuates the discrimination. The issues will not go away any time soon in our current world but it sounds to me like you need to change the way you think. Learn to empathize, learn to agree that other people have a hard time as well. Some peoples’ situations or experiences may be worse than others, but the only way it gets better for ANY of us human beings is to not treat others’ bodies, lives, experiences, or whatever like they are any less or more than our own. The only way we can change the world that objectifies us is to change our own thinking first and personally stop objectifying and discriminating against others. YOUR get over yourself and don’t downplay her feelings because you feel pain from your own.

      anonymous Dec 3, 2014 7:50pm

      I don’t know if you actually read the article but she constantly compares her pain of being skinny with the pain of being fat. “I wonder if they would have done the same if I was a 300 pound woman?” So no, she’s not JUST saying love yourself. She’s saying skinny people can’t love themselves too and are discriminated for being skinny.
      So sorry that being skinny brings discomfort to you, but you probably never got discriminated because of your skin color. Try experiencing that. If you haven’t, I don’t think you have any right to tell people to get over it. Why don’t you start up a new article about being a white lady and how much you’re self conscious of that also? And in the end, make sure that the answer is to love yourself. ‘skinny is not superior’?? Well you wouldn’t believe how many women get hired based on their looks in this society. As much as you want to shout to the world that it’s not. it is. Not saying that they both come easy, but in society being skinny and white comes with MUCH more benefits than does being a ‘300 pound woman’ who’s black.

      ‘How about you get over your close-minded self and realize that you saying that only perpetuates the discrimination.’ I think you meant to say that to the author. This article just gets women more angry at each other. And women get criticized of their looks ALL the time. Instead of telling women to love themselves and ‘skinny people are hurt too’, you should be proactive to change society’s emphasis on women’s physical appearance to their skills and accomplishments instead.

    anonymous Oct 22, 2014 7:32pm

    You’re kidding, right? The pain of getting harassed, made fun of, ridiculed, looked down upon, laughed at, and mocked is equally as hurtful whether you’re skinny or overweight. Being white or black has nothing to do with it. Body shaming is what the deal is. Why people have to justify being rude (that includes playing that damn race card) on a subject in which the author is sticking up for all women everywhere is beyond me. What is wrong with us, sisters? We need to be lifting each other up and supporting one another, not bringing someone down because of something as irrelevant as race, weight, size, religion, appeal… WHATEVER. We are a human race and we need to start sticking together! Rising above the norm of ridiculing others in order to make ourselves feel better and instead being a support system is what is going to change the world for the better!

    anonymous Dec 3, 2014 6:46pm

    She isn't pretending she knows what it's like to be targeted. She's saying she knows exactly what it's like to be targeted for being skinny.

    Granted, the media tends towards eulogizing the thin frame (even if the models have to starve themselves to attain it), but this isn't the fault of naturally skinny women. But never mind that, I've had to put up with being told by someone that I made them feel sick (I was getting undressed in a public changing room at the time), people who don't even know me insist I eat more, and I can't count the times I've been told, directly and implicitly, I am not a real woman. To top it all, I've been told countless times, by black women, both in jest and in serious malicious spite, that I'm not a REAL BLACK woman!

    I've never been told to stop eating or to eat less, or to had a perfect stranger assume that I don't exercise, or assume that I don't know what foods are meant to be good for me and make snide comments about it. However, as a skinny black lady who's experienced snide comments for the exact opposite reason, I'm pretty sure that hurt feels pretty much the same, regardless of body size.

anonymous Sep 22, 2014 6:48am

Having spent time at each end of this “debate” I absolutely understand where is everyone is coming from BUT I definitely have endured more critism and had fewer positive body-image reinforcements being overweight. I mean you can look at television and print advertisement and get the gist of it. Lets stop with the back and forth.

anonymous Sep 21, 2014 8:32pm

Thank you. Just …. Thank you. I’ve heard those comments my entire life as well. It’s so awesome to have someone stand up for the tiny women of the world!

anonymous Sep 21, 2014 8:21pm

Wow never have I related so much to something written about a woman's body! I am in the same boat as you and so happy that your article is being shared! I will be continuing to share with my skinny ass friends as well!

anonymous Sep 21, 2014 6:23pm

Thank you. It's ALL written in here, what a great article. Me myself had been, and still fighting with everything of the above, and beginning to gain self-confidence and self-love finally, for the first time in my life… Blessings

anonymous Sep 10, 2014 7:01pm

Someone made a comment about your picture basically saying that you were a thin, super tan, airbrushed looking model with pretty styled hair when in reality you were a greasy sweaty mess? How rude! Don’t let someone ever talk to you like that!

anonymous Aug 29, 2014 10:34am

Skinny women and fat women and all the women in between are upset about body image issues. When are we going to stop pinning the issue on our weight and admit that we're upset about objectification?

anonymous Aug 29, 2014 9:13am

LOVE this!! Thank you thank you for sharing… ALL the freaking time I get "asked" why I work out, why I eat healthy- to just eat the freaking ice cream- and you know what- sometimes I do- but I ENJOY working out and being active, I LIKE healthy food. so yay- and I will never forget being weighed in 4th grade before I could go down a water slide on a class trip, and not weighing enough and having to walk down the stairs while all my classmates went down the slide. Humiliating for sure……
Just now · Like

anonymous Aug 28, 2014 4:49am

I can so relate to this article. I am the same size, and the number of comments people make about my body each week is, well, high. Especially in the work-place. I feel the same way, sort of incredulous and sad that people feel okay making comments to my face. Like the guy who biked past me in the park and yelled: EAT FOOD, into my face as he passed. I'm constantly being told what I should be eating, being nicknamed based on my size or catching men at work talking (negatively) about my size behind my back. I had a client at work tell me I was "hardly 2 shadows". I'm not THAT small. I have boobs, I have thighs. I'm so sick of my body size being brought into conversations or arena where it is not at all relevant. I am capable of feeling just as unsexy as the next woman – clearly my lack of ass, thickness is not to the liking of many, and the (proclaimed) jealousy of others. The bottom line for me is that everyone needs to step back and consider the appropriateness of commenting on a woman's body like we live in an obligation to look like… well, we can never hit that mark, right? Were always going to be "too" something. So fuck off, commenters. Why do you body shame another person?

anonymous Aug 27, 2014 10:05pm

Just read this, and am so glad someone has put it in writing. I still feel like I have to make excuses or apologize to people for being tall and thin, including parents an in-laws who tell me I need to put on weight and tell strangers what size I take when others comment. Good night, I'm 36 with three kids…why do people think it's fine to comment, and why does it still bother me?!?!? Spot on that the slightest inking of someone being "overweight" and everyone needs to be supersensitive, but flip the coin and comments can freely fly. Kudos to this post.

anonymous Aug 27, 2014 8:36am

i agree with you! But at the end of the day woman are judged left right and center! You said at one point "I wonder if someone would have done that to a 300 pound woman." Well no. But they would say things like
"loose weight" and
"ugly fat ass!" Big woman get judged just like skinny woman and skinny woman get judged just like big woman! None of us get it worse than the other! I think media is to blame not woman! When your skinny you blame big curvy woman for being sexy, but when your big you blame skinny woman for being unhealthy! I think there is a size that we all should be and that is healthy! I think none of us woman are to blame! Its media! By the way i'm on the plus size! And I do tend to think that its good for bigger sizes to be introduced to the media! Not because bigger is better! But because models are skinny! Full stop! Models and media tell the society to be skinny! Thats why big woman get annoyed! Because media are always saying be skinny be skinny!! Thats not right! Thats why big woman get annoyed! I think woman should be less judgemental and more understanding towards each other! Girl instantly judge other girls on there appearance! I think we need to see the good in each other really and stop going on about the appearance of each other! xxx Feel sorry for you though! I got bullied to, I have had many hardships in life and im only 15! Yes very young but thats ho cruel people are! Walk tall and proud girls!! Whatever size you are! xx

anonymous Aug 16, 2014 2:13pm

Fabulous article – I have experienced almost everything you have written about. I don't know how many times i've been called anorexic or told I look 16 (i'm approaching 30).

I've finally been able to put on some weight, I have tried on/off since I was about 14 to gain weight and nothing worked.. What finally worked? My metabolism slowing down as i've started to get a bit older. I'm now 5'6" and 115lbs, the most i've ever weighed. Thank you for writing this article

anonymous Aug 5, 2014 12:41am

Absolutely totally agree! So sick of being patronized because I'm petite! http://www.startedearlytookmydog.wordpress.com

anonymous Aug 4, 2014 7:38pm

I truly agree with your sentiment; it echoes my own personal beliefs as I also believe that the size of our body should not determine the worth of us as women, and more importantly, as people. We are taught to judge women by their weight first and accomplishments second, and it's a thing that has done us a great disservice as a society.

I don't know if saying "skinny women have it hard too!" is the way to do it. I say this as a woman who is a size 8, making me too big to be part of the "thin club" and too small to jump on the "fat acceptance" bandwagon. My mother has always been very slender, despite consuming heroic amounts of food and going on 20 minute walks as her form of exercise. On the other hand, I've always needed to be very conscientious of what I consume, and engage in a variety of physical activities to stay where I am. I've been on both sides of the debate amongst my family and friends. When my mother comes to visit, she still makes off hand comments about my weight, or suggests that I work out more, and if we go clothes shopping she zooms straight for the plus size section. I have also had friends that are much larger than me who've made comments about my appearance in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable, as if it is my fault for being the size that I am, or as if I have purposefully done this to make them look worse than me.

Only one of these situations led to me having very disordered experiences with eating (hint: it wasn't my fat friends).

And that for me is the difference between "skinny shaming" and "fat shaming". It hurts being told that you are too thin, that men don't think you're sexy or that you aren't a "real woman". But the moment you leave that situation, you are also surrounded by so much media that says "skinny is good! you are good for being skinny!" For people who are fat, there is so little acceptance in our mainstream media. I'm not talking about those facebook memes that your Aunt Sally likes and floods your feed with about how real women have curves. I'm talking about the endless advertising, the magazines, the movies, fashion blogs, video games, porn….

I've seen and experienced skinny shaming that hurts feelings. I've seen and experienced fat shaming that has led to eating disorders, depression, attempted suicide. I work with middle schoolers, and I've dealt with several girls who are only 12 years old, already refusing to eat their lunches, or being put on ridiculous diets for their parents. If that is how they are taught to view their bodies at that age, what will they have internalized by the time they're 16? 20?

I don't agree with the body acceptance posts that put down women who are small to make those who are large feel better either. But I understand why so many women who are fat are so angry, and so vocal, and want to be seen for who they are as individuals rather than how much they do or do not fit into society's small box of attraction. I've known many women who are thin who feel similarly, because they are seen as pretty objects instead of people who have thoughts and ideas and talent. Which could bring me to a whole other tangent about society's portrayal of women in general and how as long as we allow mainstream media to set the standard that women are to be deemed attractive first, people second is horrifically damaging to women.

I hope that I see more and more movements that focus on changing the way we value people, placing their minds and hearts over their outward appearances. As you said, it is the first step to changing this bizarre culture we've created around women's bodies. I hope that this spreads. I hope more women are placed in positions of power to change this in our media, or that the men in power change their own views regarding women, and spread these messages. I hope that we can have more of these discussions without needing to still play the skinny vs. fat game or the "who has it worse?" game. Because as long as we play that, everyone loses.

I'm rambling now, and not too sure how to sum it all up. Thank you for the article. It was a thought-provoking read 🙂

anonymous Aug 3, 2014 10:00pm

I think the fact that women who have "ideal" bodies – whether by genetic luck, illness, or obsessions/disorders – still have body issues perfectly illustrates that societal messages are not about health. It's about controlling women.

The suffering, the mental damage is the same. The fact that people are extremely cruel to the fat doesn't negate that society is also cruel to the thin. We all suffer from body shaming. We're all on the same cruel bus, even if some people are sitting in the window seats with nice views. This isn't the Oppression Olympics. We're all being oppressed and it sucks for all of us.

anonymous Aug 1, 2014 12:23pm

I've also been on the smaller size, and my sports coach/teacher would always point out how I don't eat enough and say that every time I got sick was because I don't eat enough and am too skinny. I also watched her daughter (who was a grown woman) make fun of a 12 year old for being too skinny. But if you defend them/yourself people say "why? it's unhealthy to be so skinny" or "you're just buying into the media" I think everyone should read this article

anonymous Jul 29, 2014 11:58am

Thank you for writing this!!! I have been naturally skinny my whole life and have usually struggled to keep weight on. I am a ballerina and so on average I dance 3-8 hours a day. I was made fun of in school for how skinny I was, and once a boy in junior high told me that I was so skinny I looked disgusting. I couldn't help it. My mother is a size zero and I got her side of the gene pool. Being a ballerina, I have people make assumptions all the time that I must have an eating disorder just because I am skinny. I am sick and tired of the skinny stereo types and people calling me out in public for my weight! I get asked all the time what I weigh in group settings like its ok because I am skinny. I was once asked at a dinner with a friend's family how I felt being the skinniest one at the table. How awkward is that?

anonymous Jul 26, 2014 11:03am

Well said. It drive me insane when I hear "real women have curves". Because I was born destined to be an A cup and narrow hips, am I not a women too?

anonymous Jul 26, 2014 9:53am

Thank you so much for writing this article. Growing up, I was always very thin and always wondered why I never had boobs or curves like everyone else. I tried so hard to gain weight, and just like you, eating became a chore. I’m slowly starting to accept my body for it’s size and this article gave me so much strength. You are an amazing writer, thank you!

anonymous Jul 25, 2014 9:26pm

Hi, I first saw this article posted in my Facebook feed. While I generally agree with the overall body positivity, I think this article truly missteps in a major way. Fat discrimination is a real societal issue, and deals with directly oppressing a group of people. While it's contemptible to make rude comments about a person's thinness, and thin people may have their feelings hurt the same way a fat person can, it does not change that thin people are afforded privilege that fat people are not. With or without consent, thin people receive better treatment and far less judgment than fat people in every aspect of their lives.

    anonymous Aug 3, 2014 9:58pm

    I think the fact that women who have "ideal" bodies – whether by genetic luck, illness, or obsessions/disorders – still have body issues perfectly illustrates that societal messages are not about health, really. It's about controlling women.

    The suffering, the mental damage is the same. The fact that people are extremely cruel to the fat doesn't negate that society is also cruel to the thin. We all suffer from body shaming. We're all on the same cruel bus, even if some people are sitting in the window seats with nice views. This isn't the Oppression Olympics. We're all being oppressed and it sucks for all of us.

anonymous Jul 25, 2014 7:06pm

I don’t get it. I was a male model and had to work really hard to maintain th status quo. You may be small, but in this picture your hips are huge! Why are you talking as if you represent the small minority of people who cannot gain weight. When you are simply just small? You’re not skinny!

anonymous Jul 25, 2014 4:21pm

This made my day… Love.

anonymous Jul 25, 2014 2:54pm

This was beautiful. You just described my life experience with uncanny familiarity. I too, am finally learning to embrace my gorgeous, skinny body, despite a world full of haters telling me I should be bigger. Fuck 'em! I am exactly where I should be. I practice yoga, make love, travel the world, cook good food, write passionately, and love life more and more- my body is serving me perfectly. Thanks for giving your skinny sisters a voice. Much love 😉

anonymous Jul 25, 2014 4:00am

Ok so I first want to say that I agree with what you wrote and think that no matter what peoples weight/size is, everyone has insecurities & although it's often a lot harder for "bigger" people in a world wear "skinny" seems to be the ideal, I know that thin people have body image issues as well. (I've been both skinny and a bit overweight so I know both sides). I think the problem is with the photo you posted. I read your description saying you had just climbed a mountain & were hot and sweaty, etc., but your pose doesn't show that at all & it doesn't evoke strength to me. It evokes sexuality. I asked my boyfriend what he thought of this photo and specifically about the girl in the photo. I asked him what he thought her "message" was or what she was trying to "portray" with this photo. & he said "she looks like she's trying to claim she's all 'at one' with nature and all spiritual and stuff but obviously she just wants people to look at her ass & think she's hot." & I said, she said she's posing to show strength and confidence in herself & pride in the accomplishment of hiking" and he laughed and said "ya right! Why is she basically naked then?? & if she was hiking why is her hair perfect?!" My point exactly. Firstly, it seems very hard to believe that after you've hiked 24km and got all sweaty, your hair would 1. Be down (sure you could've taken it down after your hike but then it wouldn't look like that) 2. Be dry (there's no trace of sweat) 3. Be full and have perfect waves in it. (If your hair actually looks like that after a sweaty hike, I think you should be famous because I've NEVER seen that be the case for any other girl, especially one with long hair. Secondly, why would you pose for a photo (which you planned to spread around to entice girls to be proud of their bodies) in your underwear with your butt cheeks perked & hanging out?? Who does that after a hike?? It seems like not the right type of photo for what you're promoting. Why couldn't you post a similar photo with your pants still on?? It just seems like you wanted to show off how hot you are and how glorious your ass is (because I'll admit, it's amazing!). But it's hard for you to be respected for what you're trying to stand for when you've just put yourself in the exact same position that every magazine & marketer puts women in…portraying women's bodies in a "sexual" way for attention. I don't feel as though you'd be so "proud" to show so much of your body if you had cellulite showing and if you looked not so "amazing". If that is really you in the photo then congrats because you have the body every girl dreams of having! You aren't super skinny with no shape & if you were, I doubt you'd be so quick to "flaunt" it. But your message is good! You just need to understand that it's hard for people to take you seriously when your photo shows something so much like what we should be fighting against…A sexualised body image. It's not very relatable to the "average girl" even the average "skinny" girl. Maybe think about that before assuming that the lady who commented on the photo was way off base. You are arguing here against sexualising women but all you did in this photo was sexualise yourself.

    anonymous Sep 10, 2014 7:25pm

    I’m so glad someone said this. I was honestly thinking the same thing. I definitely think her message was great. No matter what size, women shouldn’t be bullied or put down about the way they look. Fat or skinny, black or white, etc. But, that picture makes her look little full of herself. The fact that she was obviously trying to look sexy, and then acts offended when viewers say she looks like a super tan model just makes her look silly. Like you, I just can’t take this individual seriously :/

anonymous Jul 24, 2014 4:39pm

This is an awesome article! It is definitely an eye opener for anyone, regardless if they’re a size 0, plus sized, or in between. Thanks for your insight on this matter and may we all learn something from it. I sure did

anonymous Jul 23, 2014 6:29pm

Thank you for writing this, this perspective definitely needs to be read by more people! I did ballet for 16 years and have a naturally fast metabolism, so I've always been somewhat of a waif. Last weekend, when I was out with friends, a homeless man yelled at me, "What's wrong with you?". Naturally, I was confused, so I asked "What?" He said, "Why are you so skinny?! You should go eat something." I obviously know not to take these type of comments to heart, but it is frustrating when it happens so often. Maybe if more people can read this and see the hurt it causes, people will feel less entitled to speak to skinny people like they aren't worthy of basic respect.

anonymous Jul 23, 2014 4:24pm

You go girl! I was you back before I got over 40 & my metabolism stopped being on steroids. I was a size 2 up to size 4, but I was a skinny, no boobs, no hips waif. I definitely had issues with my body. The interesting thing is that when the tides turned & my metabolism changed it didn't bother me at all that I gained weight & became more rounded. Part of my issues when I was brutally skinny was that I didn't feel very womanly…well, that's definitely changed. Life is funny that way. However, I still need to work at loving myself more & I LOVED what you had to say here cause I could relate to it way too well. Thanks for speaking up for the skinny folks LOL!!!

anonymous Jul 23, 2014 1:40pm

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! As someone who has always been naturally skinny, this really hits home. <3

    anonymous Jul 23, 2014 1:52pm

    Also, my nickname in jr. high basketball was "Stix" – I feel like this article was written for me! <3

anonymous Jul 23, 2014 12:00pm

Well done. Thank you!!

anonymous Jul 23, 2014 7:59am

Riding the bus with you, Sister! <3

anonymous Jul 23, 2014 6:46am

I am a large woman, my best friend is a tiny woman. We see the world through each other's eyes on a constant basis. When I see a post glorifying curves by bemoaning no one loves a stick, it sickens and saddens me. There is no cruder example of having to lift yourself up by putting another down than what we see "friends" post on FB every day. I will never tire of pointing out the objectifying nature of all of it. Reclaim our selves, brothers and sisters. ♥

anonymous Jul 23, 2014 4:32am

Love this, very true, I am on the leaner side with smaller chest! I have decided to get goddess tattoo (my first at 41) in Sanskrit on inside of my wrist to remind me all women should feel like goddess no matter size/shape etc. Whether it be sensuality or strength or intelligence that we feel is our biggest confidence, we are all goddesses.

anonymous Jul 20, 2014 11:33am

Totally! All the time! I have talked about this a ton… love it. People have no problem making comments about skinny people's weight and insinuating eating disorders. I appreciate this! Kiersten

anonymous Jul 11, 2014 3:20am

No matter whether you are thin, average, athletic, or a bigger girl all that does matter is loving yourself for who you are. Janne is right, our bodies are just a shell, we need to surround ourselves with people that enjoy and appreciate us for our true selves. Self confidence speaks volumes. Everyday is a gift, would you want your potential last day on this earth be you focusing on your body image all day and not being your true self, doing exactly what you with want no limits? Everyone deserves to live that way, ignore the haters and love your true self!

anonymous Jul 9, 2014 10:45pm

Completely relate to this article. People think its OK to bully us skinny girls. If I had a $ for every time someone told me to "please go eat something". Do they think its funny? Dont they see how offensive it is? Maybe that person in reality IS struggling with an eating disorder – and then hearing that. I am 29 and 5ft3 weighing 95lbs – a double zero. Just as obese ppl find hard to shop for clothes, its such a struggle to find anything that does not have glitter or Barbie on them…

anonymous Jun 25, 2014 3:04pm

Love this article!
My husband gets told all the time that he's too skinny.
But he eats a ton, it's just his build.
And he is gorgeous!
We never understand why people feel it's okay to comment on how skinny someone is, while they would never direct the same kind of comment to someone who is fat.

anonymous Jun 22, 2014 10:56am

Men desire beautiful women, and they choose what they like and dislike. Women do not define what is sexy to a man, a man does. That is why women can't change the social norms of what men want. Also, the size of your waist has nothing to do with "real women." There's so many things men can find sexy about any women. more then just apperance but for me, I personally think being excessively over wieght is a major turn off, even if the women is comfortable with it. Same goes for men, men can't just wake up and say all women are going to love guys who drive an '88 Oldsmobiles. Women define what they find sexy. They don't ask men "is a beard sexy?" Or "what's a small enough waist line to be consider sexy?" So just remember its not the media putting skinny models on magazines because they're trying to make an image of sexy. It's what men have define and the media must follow.

anonymous Jun 21, 2014 7:32pm

Yes, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Yes, you ARE a soul and HAVE a body. But the true burden of those who are treated unfairly for being skinny, or white, or wealthy, or young, or attractive, or brainy, or a man in the workplace, or Jared Leto…no matter how many Individuals you may get to testify otherwise, the MASSES prefer those things! They would prefer to sleep with them, employ them, photograph them, film them, listen to them, give them free things, and if at all possible, be them. Good luck with that.

anonymous Jun 21, 2014 1:47pm

My heart & my soul thank you for composing such a fantastically written article. Much love from one skinny sister to another! <3

anonymous Jun 21, 2014 11:56am

Inspiring, beautiful, awesome and wonderful. I agree on everything.

Although one tiny bit of missed point when discussing being at home in your body and being fat: http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/10/lets-talk-abo

Just something for thought.

anonymous Jun 21, 2014 9:03am

Thank you for writing! It sums up how I've been feeling lately. We shouldn't feel guilty for being slim or in shape.

anonymous Jun 20, 2014 6:23pm

Thank you for this! I am 45 years old and all my life have had people commenting on my size and these have not always been nice comments…are you anorexic? – you're so skinny! – etc, etc. I would never say to someone you're so fat, or how much do you eat? I am comfortable with my lean, slim size 2 figure, though it has taken me years to get here. People (and I'm sorry, quite frankly, women) need to just accept each other for who they are and embrace the bodies they live in…we are all beautiful!

anonymous Jun 18, 2014 1:26pm

Hey there

A friend linked this article for me. I absolutely love it. I’ve had people asking me if I had bulimia, people telling me they didn’t want to hug me because they were scared I would break, a boyfriend dump me because he thought I was too skinny for him…

I hate how people tell me I’m oh so skinny, but I can’t tell anyone they are oh so fat. Or that they should eat less. But it’s perfectly acceptable to tell me to eat more. I hate it.

I’ve always struggled with my body image, and I still am. It’s hard to find clothes that fit me…

So thank you, for this article. Thank you that even across the world, this is a big ass issue (pun intended).

Love, Lotte

PD: gorgeous picture. Truly inspiring.

anonymous Jun 17, 2014 8:58pm

Beautiful article, as a young lady I weighed a mere 98 pounds most of my young life, now at 50 I am over 200. Just now beginning to love me for me. Your article is inspiring and truly a gift to all. Thank you!

anonymous Jun 11, 2014 6:35pm

Thank you for this! I often wonder why it's socially acceptable to walk up to someone thin and say, "Wow, you're so skinny" but it's not acceptable to do the same on the other end of the spectrum.

anonymous Jun 4, 2014 4:05pm

thank you so much for this! i can't understand why people think it is ok to comment on my weight or food choices just because i am thin. it makes me feel self conscious and i'm just being me! i've been small my whole life, i need to accept myself as is and not try to be someone i'm not!

anonymous Jun 4, 2014 11:02am

I think the real point is, people need to stop policing women's bodies. No matter what size they are.

anonymous Jun 4, 2014 2:07am

From my fat ass to your skinny one: a huge, resounding “hell, yes sister!”

It just kills me when people think it’s OK to say bitchy things about skinny women, as if they forgot the whole point of ‘body positivity’ is about reveling in what we CAN do and what we offer the world outside of bullshit constructed labels that keep us from seeing each other as the amazing humans we all are. Great article!

anonymous Jun 2, 2014 6:33pm

Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking the time and actual effort to make a very good article

anonymous May 30, 2014 10:28pm

Thank you for this! I put up with various comments nearly daily on my weight and needed to hear this. I'll learn to love my skinny ass too!

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 7:01pm

    Dear Beth,

    You are so welcome! I love your skinny ass, and my own and all the damn asses.

    Thanks for your voice 😉

anonymous May 29, 2014 6:51pm

i know am i missing something? that ass is phat

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 7:00pm

    Yo Matt,

    My ass is phat– and so it my soul.

    Peace!

anonymous May 29, 2014 2:46pm

Awesome article. My family has issues on both ends of the spectrum. My daughters are very skinny. My oldest daughter, age 23, can sometimes wear a size 12 kids dress pants. Other girls use to follow her into the bathroom at school, hoping to catch her throwing up, just to keep her small size. Girls are cruel. I, on the other hand, have always been overweight. I feel like people look at me like I ate all the food and starved my kids. Beauty is on the inside. Embrace it.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 7:00pm

    Deb,

    Wow. Sounds like you see and live within both sides of shaming–truly. And on such personal levels. I just want to tell you her skinny ass and your maybe not as skinny as are both equally as magnificent and worthy of walking this planet without judgement. Plant your feet and own your brilliance and remind your daughter, and yourself that our brilliance is NOT measured by something as trivial as our waist size.

    Power, love and gentleness on your journey and hers,

    Janne

anonymous May 29, 2014 9:28am

Thank you so much for this article! I just read this ( explicatives excluded) to my 11 year old daughter . I’ve fallen victim to this type of harassment daily. In fact, when people comment about my weight or what I’m eating I automatically respond with “it’s because of my thyroid condition”. When in reality I have always been “slender”. I am tired of justifying my size to make others feel more comfortable with themselves. What is even more disturbing is that I have seen people ( i.e.. third grade teachers) do this type of harassment to her. They try to damage her self image that I have worked so hard to help her maintain. She is just tall and skinny and I hope proud. Again, thank you.

Amanda

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:58pm

    Amanda,

    I am not sure if there is anything more flattering as someone being touched so deeply that they fill the need to fill their childrens fragile brains with it. Belief systems are set in place when we are so very young- it is the time to do it and say and then say it again incase it gets forgotten.

    Keep pumping your beautiful skinny daughter full of love and confidence and implore her to speak up against any shaming or harassment she receives. I don't know what her name is but please tell her I feel her, I hear her and I've got her back. My information is in my bio to get in touch on facebook, twitter etc. Most kids are born with cell phones in their hands so tell her to feel free to connect with me. I am an ear and heart available in her journey- and yours.

    Thank you for taking the time to write me Amanda, you are one great momma grizz. Go get em!

    Love,

    Janne

anonymous May 29, 2014 8:35am

Thank you so much for this article. I guess some people who don’t live with it don’t realize the gravity of their inappropriate comments. They may have been shamed so much for not having that current standard of beauty body that they actually believe skinny shaming doesn’t exist.

It does and it’s horrible. It is just as real, just as prevalent, and just as abusive as fat shaming, racism, sexism, etc…

My hope is the same as yours, that we all can pull ourselves and each other out from under the bus, get on that bus and drive it to the nearest coffee shop for a full fat latte and a big blueberry muffin with real sweet cream butter. Mmmm… butter… And that we can do that without tearing our glorious variously sized sisters (and brothers) down.

Thank you, again. Everything you said here needed to be said, and needs to be said again and again. Now I’m off to finish my dark chocolate raspberry brownie breakfast.

~A

P.S. Your ass and your hair look great in that pic. 😉 Congratulations on the hike. 24 kms is a huge win.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:54pm

    Amberlina,

    YES!!! So much FUCK YES!! Excuse my excitement and swearing. As I read this I am eating a blueberry muffin with mounds of pink sugary icing in the sunshine at a cafe in the town I live at. (I kid you not). I wish you could pull up a chair beside me and take half of it while we share the afternoon. I think we would hit it off well– find me on facebook, one can never have too many link minded, funny, kick ass sisters.

    Some people don't get the gravity of their inappropriate comments– just as you said. All shaming is unacceptable and needs to be nipped in it's horrendous judgmental unjustified butt.

    Thank you! My ass's head is swelling. I have honestly never gaven my butt much thought, with publishing this so many people have mentioned it that I am spending time in gratitude of it (for more than its main purpose…). It was a 42 km round trip hike in Fryatt Valley with a 30 pound bag, it was the most difficult thing I have physically done and most awesome.

    Love to you!

    P. S When people ask me what kind of milk I want in my coffee I always say "full fat".

anonymous May 28, 2014 7:38pm

Hi Janne
From a girl who is always going to be a little bit fat: I thank you for writing this. In Asia, I am never thin enough, always a little bit too fat. But when I write articles about body image, the predominant comments from readers in the West is that I'm not fat enough to merit writing articles about body image /fatness / weight issues… so this is precisely it, right? That if we're going to go by the standards of this funny place called The World, we will never ever meet them. There are so many phrases in this piece by you that I want to pull out and tattoo to my head, scrawl on my walls and make tshirts. This needs to be said, for skinny sisters, fat sisters, in-between sisters, ALL sisters xxxxx

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:49pm

    Jamie,

    I had to severely coax my head into not swelling as I read your words. The fact you so deeply resonated with my words to think even for a nanosecond of permanently putting them on their body blows me out of the ball park.

    You meet my awesome merit, keep writing your heart out and if anyone tells you that you are unqualified tell them your soul doesn't fit in a pair of pants and it does what it wants!

    Love to you,

    P.S if you DO get a tatoo, let me know 😉

anonymous May 28, 2014 1:08pm

I think you are my favorite writer! You respond to everyone. I love that. It makes me feel connected in a very good way. Thank you.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:43pm

    Hi Jim,

    I LOVE this message. I have and do spend hours replying, and my mom and others have said, "eventually you can't reply to everyone." But the way I see it, each one of the 127 people who replied to this article took the time to sit down, read my words and then be vulnerable and open and write me with their experiences. They deserve and are worthy of my energy and time- I want to acknowledge those who acknowledge me.

    Thank YOU for writing me. You rock!

    Janne

anonymous May 28, 2014 9:23am

Hey, you quoted my cousin Bryan Reeves! Super cool! 🙂

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:41pm

    Emily,

    Your cousin Bryan Reeves IS super cool!

    I love his brain and tremendous heart. Thanks for taking the time to stop by.

    Janne

anonymous May 28, 2014 8:20am

Awesome article Janne..

Put away the mirrors and scales and pay more attention to the state of your mind. It'll play some crazy tricks on you if you let it, regardless of your body shape!

anonymous May 28, 2014 3:16am

Awesome article Janne..

Pack the scales and mirrors away and watch your mind instead. It'll play all kinds of nasty tricks on you if you're not paying attention!

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:41pm

    Hell yeah Steve- hell, freaking yeah!

    Love,

    Janne

anonymous May 28, 2014 12:51am

thank you <3

and i hear ya, truly. when i first became vegan, i got skinnier than i had been in high school, and i received many negative comments. and as a bipolar patient, in my adult life, i have also been 70 pounds heavier than that "skinny" weight. and i have cross-dressed in both places.

what i learned forever altered my perspective. i am a kinder, gentler, softer person, because i know just how hard it is to be fat, skinny, or just simply to wear the 'wrong' clothes, and just how much negativity can be cast upon those who are somehow outside the 'normal' margins.

so thanks for sharing. and for caring. and i hope those 24km were amazing. did 16.2 miles yesterday, and still probably look weird, but i felt the mountain air, hollered with the ravens, and got lost in the winds of our home <3 _ tb

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:40pm

    Gaddamn this is beautiful.

    I hear ravens hollering and look at the mountains everyday from my cabin. Such a gift. It was a 42 km round trip with a 30 pound bag. I was depleted but my soul was full. Ate so much dehydrated food that tasted like cat food. :l

    Thank you for writing me! Your voice gives my voice more might.

    with love,

    Janne

anonymous May 27, 2014 11:48pm

This is all well and good but being skinny today in this culture is like being white, you can't get upset when someone calls you skinny (C K Louis, "oh no he called me cracker, he really ruined my day") Come on you know you love it, the size zero and the "Oh I can eat anything" Just be happy and stop acting as if there is a thing such as "skinny shaming "today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4f9zR5yzY

    anonymous May 28, 2014 12:07pm

    Hi Nadine,

    Thank you for your voice.

    The only common thing being skinny and white have in common is that they are part of our useless exteriors. I wonder if a overweight person would find it as light and humor filled if I told them comedian Chris Addisons joke, "It's easy to distract fat people, it's a piece of cake." Or if I walked up to someone eating a burger and said, "How many calories are in that?"

    How does that make you feel? And me look? Like a shallow jack ass, right?

    Retaliating in fury against "skinny" isn't it. I will again revisit the whole point of my damn aritcle- can the crackers, the cheeseburgers and the cake hang out on the bus with us? In a picnic? And we quit being nasty to each other on something as insignificant as the width of our hips?

    anonymous Sep 10, 2014 7:10pm

    Agreed! Couldn’t have said it better myself!

anonymous May 27, 2014 8:03pm

I was always a skinny kid… had to put up with the nickname "Skindy… a cross between a skinny and a Cindy". For years I wouldn't wear short sleeve shirts because I was so self conscious. And for many years tried to "eat more" but to no avail. I got to the point where food wasn't enjoyable… it became a chore to eat. So fast forward 45 years. I am now 52 and finally putting on a bit of weight… after discovering that my many years of "fast" metabolism and a mysterious muscle disease was a result of celiac disease. Yep, now that my gut has healed, I am finally keeping on a bit of weight. I am a musician, and a grandma of 4, but have people ask if I am the mom. All those years of ducking my head and being self conscious… no more, I have grown to like the body I was blessed with… especially now that I am feeling so much better! For my daughter and granddaughters… the lesson I want them to learn is to seek to live healthy and see that no matter what body they have been given, it is a gift… one to be taken care of and proud of… a one-of-a kind, never to be duplicated and very special.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:38pm

    Your words Lucinda, wow. They resonate so deeply with me. I struggled, and have up until a few months ago to gain weight. Not for me– but for the people who constantly told me to get bigger. I heard it so often I believed it. I just recently accepted that I am this little, and that it isn't my desire to pack on more pounds so that someone can feel relieved when they see me that I don't have a possible eating disorder.

    I am glad you found out about your celiac disease, I truly relate to eating being a "chore".

    Our bodies are such gifts! YES! I am proud of mine, and am happy to hear you echo the same. I want to live in a world of more Lucindas.

    Shine on sister, shine on.

    Janne

anonymous May 27, 2014 6:01pm

Thank you for this..just today I met a new woman that I was going to be working with. Me? I am thin, her? She was overweight. I don't care what a person's size is because my life sounds like yours. I have been picked on, and I care about a person, not their body.. Most overweight people I've met (which is a lot) think that for some reason skinny people don't get made fun so they need to "teach us a lesson" or something, idk. Well, this girl hated me, I felt it. She didn't acknowledge my presence, nothing..not until after I had to prove to her that I was a fun and happy person did that "hate" feeling go away..sigh. Anyway, thanks. When I read things like this, I don't feel so alone in this world with my struggles.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:35pm

    Lara,

    It is strange that people can think shaming in any way, shape or form is okay. You are not alone- we're in this together. Power to you for knowing your value and worth and not just taking it.

    Love,

    Janne

anonymous May 27, 2014 5:47pm

Same story for me. Whenever I get a passive-aggressive comment about how thin I am, I go for humour and tell people: I know, I chose my parents really well. 🙂

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:32pm

    Har. I am glad you can reply with humor– I sometimes lack the ability to do so. I like to make light of something and also be stern while saying so.

    It takes a tremendous balance to be graceful when poked. You have it in mounds.

    Power to you skinny sister,

    Janne

anonymous May 27, 2014 2:55pm

I’m sorry I don’t buy this. ..

Not the every body should be happy with themselves theme. That is a given, of course that should be the case.

But the poor me thin priviledge? Eh.

I once had a girl who could eat everything and barely put on weight tell me it was as bad as my situation of smelling food and putting on weight.

The difference is you see your body type almost EVERYWHERE classed as an ideal. I only see mine classed as an ideal on fetish websites.

Get it?

    anonymous May 29, 2014 1:19pm

    But, our everyday social lives and society is filled with "overweight" individuals. Thus, in our daily lives we are the ones (skrawny gals) who are criticized by the majority. We don't live surrounded by movie stars that reinforce our naturally skinny bodies, we live around individuals who are of average weight or are overweight that assume we are anorexic.

    anonymous Dec 7, 2014 5:12pm

    perfectly put.

anonymous May 27, 2014 1:37pm

This is so perfect. It's great to hear someone finally express all of these thoughts I've had in my head. Beautifully written.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:31pm

    Thank you Kaylee!

    Appreciate your time to say so,

    Janne

anonymous May 27, 2014 1:00pm

I don't disagree with your overall opinion, but I would strongly like you to remember that while it sucks for all women, it still sucks way more for fat women. I say this as someone who has been considered both obese and underweight on the BMI scale, and who has stuck her finger down her throat (which you seem to be somewhat unaware that eating disorders have very little to do with being motivated by weight).

Being comfortable or not comfortable in your body can happen to people at any weight; being systemically discriminated against by doctors, employers, and businesses is something that happens to fat people. They are by far and away the ones that are most hurt by our society's shitty attitudes towards women, and while I absolutely hate slogans like "real women have curves" because hell, you are a real woman even if you don't have curves! I also at the same time support them, because when there is systemic unfairness the correct approach is to correct for the group that is most hurt by the unfairness.

Think about sexism. Sexism hurts men, too – a society that tells them they can't cry and their worth is based in masculinity is shitty. But the movement against sexism is called feminism because far and away women are the ones who are far more disadvantaged by the paradigm, and righting the wrongs against them is the primary concern.

I completely understand where you're coming from, and I feel you. But honestly, we skinnies are not all that important right now. I hope for a world where no one comments on anyone's weight, ever. But while I get shitty off handed comments thrown by me at people who think anorexic is a compliment, it is nowhere near the discrimination and treatment that fat women get. I have severe body image issues, but I can get hired for a job more easily.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:30pm

    Hi Violet,

    I appreciate you taking the time to reply. So much of this I felt a YES! too, and also so much I don't agree with. Which is fine, we are all meant to speak and be heard and not always agree, right?

    I agree we can all be uncomfortable in our skin regardless of our waist size. We must work at self love and acceptance every damn day. I don't agree that anyone is "more hurt" by harassment, judgement and abusive comments. I think it hurts all woman to have media shove air brushed, glorified, thin women down our throats claiming a size zero is the key to happiness. I enjoy and support the "real woman have curves" photographs and articles as they are a stand against this. I don't like the term "real". I don't think defending "fat shaming" is any more or less important than "skinny shaming". I just want to run all shaming over with my equality bus.

    I am a equalist with a small dash of a feminist. I don't think the cure for sexism is throwing men under the bus. I think women have struggled for so long for equality so I understand strong feminists. My mother is a HUGE feminist. We all have a choice in how we react to sexism and people attempting to shame us on our body weight, regardless of our gender or size. We can hear something, let it roll off our backs and say, "meh, that's your shit." or we can also stand up and say, "hey that's your shit, and it doesn't sit well with my fabulous self!". Some days its worth the energy and some days it's not.

    I think us skinnies, and not skinnes ARE important now and everyday. I think it isn't talked about, and many women and men lack the ability to speak out about this harassment and I implore them to do so. I hope this article creates a space for people to acknowledge where they were wronged and didn't speak up, and that they do in the future.

    I also know lots of skinny people who are as charming as door knobs, and don't get hired for jobs. If an employer is hiring solely on someone's waist size- that is their choice, and you and I have no accountability over it. I hope they hire whoever fits their company and not just their preferred waist candy.

    Thank you for your voice, I see you.

    Janne

anonymous May 27, 2014 10:27am

Amen. The thing that gets me is you arent THAT tiny. Im 5x smaller than you, so to me, your body is beautiful and you’ve got some meat on your bones! I’ve dealt with the same my entire life. I also speak up now, for myself and other, that I’ve gained some confidence back from the ongoing abuse. People do not realize that they are causing a lot of damage. They don’t see it the same way as on overweight person. They wouldn’t have the nerve to say those things to an overweight person. Keep doing what you’re doing. We have to keep spreading awareness to stop the bullying. <3

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 6:00pm

    Hi Ashley,

    It astounds me that people don't see it as the same, because it is. It's abusive. I will keep on doing what I am doing and I implore you to speak out against any outrageous opinions you collect in the future.

    Love and light,

    Janne Robinson

anonymous May 27, 2014 12:31am

I think this piece does a really great job of highlighting the fact that all women- all people for that matter- are vulnerable to feeling insecure about their body and that body-shaming of any kind- whether it be because one's body is "too" "fat" or "too skinny" or "too/not curvy", etc. is unacceptable and that people of all sizes are celebrated. That said, I think it's important to acknowledge that "skinny" people, despite the rude comments they receive from people or the insecurities they may have about their appearance, nevertheless occupy a position of privilege in that society- magazines, tv shows, advertisements, clothing stores, etc- tells us that that kind of body (however modified) is the ideal and the only definition of beauty and health. Ashley Solomon at Nourishing the Soul puts it nicely re: the fact that not all bodies are shamed equally:

"Perhaps I’m splitting hairs here, or playing right into the Pain Olympics (Waaa! We have it worse!). But I think that this statement is 100% untrue. To me, it’s like a white person saying, 'I want you to know that I am just as prejudiced against as a black person.' I just don’t buy it…..Everything that I know from reading countless research studies, following the HAES movement, working with patients across the full weight spectrum, and living as a person in a weight-focused world tells me that fat people have it worse. Period. Larger folks are shamed at nearly every turn – in the workplace, at the grocery store, on the internet, at restaurants, on the playground, in the voting booths, and in their own families, as a start. While perhaps (and I say that tentatively), the comments are more underground when it comes to people we consider overweight or obese, the effects (in salary, opportunities, respect, etc.) are profound. I think it’s important that we take a cold, hard look at the discrimination happening against larger people. We have to recognize privilege as it exists, or we are doomed to live blind and biased. That’s all. Now that I’ve stated that fat people have it worse, I recognize that it’s not all that helpful to pit one side against the other, and that’s not what I mean to do. Really. It doesn’t make what’s happening to [skinny women] better. I just think that making the comparison doesn’t have to be part of her argument. This actually shouldn’t be a battle of who is more shamed, because the real victims here are women in general. When fat people or thin people are shamed for their weight, we are all hurt. If we grow up fearing being anywhere but in the dead center of the weight spectrum, we perpetuate the stigmatization and we become terrified of letting our bodies find their natural rhythm."
http://www.nourishing-the-soul.com/2012/05/are-sk

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 5:42pm

    Hi Ariel,

    Interesting article. I have to say I don't agree with all she said. I squished my face up in confusion and anger and said, "Fuck that" outloud in the face I am sitting in. Excuse the language. What I DID enjoy was that " this actually shouldn't be a battle of who is more shamed because the real victim here is women in general." That rings true. And not just all women, all human beings. Although I didn't speak to a male demorgraphic with my article- I hear you men, I've got you in my heart too.

    The issue I had and the swear inducing part of her and your for that matter comment is the "privilege" part. I would like to take the sentence "thin women occupy a position of privilege in our society" and run it over a few times, back and forth with my ferocious, mighty heart.

    If someone decides to see another as "privileged" because of their waist size that is their choice- not my own. I have no accountability over the way people may treat me. I get to exist as I am and live my life and progress, evolve and grow and deal with the people I cross paths with.

    I don't view my waist size as a "get out of jail free card" or a "pass go and collect 200 dollars because your skinny" card. I just see it as part of my exterior. I didn't show up while being created and choose what my measurements were. If someone deems me "privileged" as a size zero that is their own opinion and shit to deal with. I feel privileged to just walk upon this earth in the company of all the other magnificent souls, and I demand of the world to stop imposing judgment or shame on me all the same as someone who isn't a size zero.

    I appreciate your voice, and I hear you.

    Janne

anonymous May 27, 2014 12:30am

Thank you! I'm naturally skinny, and seem to have the same active/not active lifestyle as you. I had a woman approach me in the mall when I was a teen and asked me to please eat a sandwich. I will never forget that. Fat or skinny, mean comments hurts both ways. People seem to forget that.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 5:34pm

    Hi Josie,

    Thank you for your voice. Writing this has been incredible for me as it reminded me that I am not alone. There are hundreds and probably thousands of people who have been told to "eat a sandwich". Comments do hurt both ways- it's my job, and your job to remind people of that, however uncomfortable it may be.

    Strength to you my skinny sister,

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 10:19pm

been on both sides, was super active healthy skinny in my early 20's, now pleasantly plump in my mid 30's (post baby).
I received negative comments about my body at both weights. all I can say is that the people negatively commenting on the bodies of others must be pretty unhappy in theirs. its a sad commentary on our society when there are much greater issues at hand in this world. great article 🙂

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 5:32pm

    Hi Hobbit,

    We are a mirror for our world. When we exist within red and insecurity we see red and reason to be insecure in this world. I agree 100% with you. Thank you for your voice,

    Golem.

anonymous May 26, 2014 9:58pm

I hear your words about your struggle and empathize with it. I too, am on the thin side, always have been, but the difference is that I recognize that we live in a world that gives people with bodies like mine (and yours) certain privileges that it does not give to overweight ones. It's because of these privileges that calls to "begin stepping over body image" ring a bit hollow. You haven't lived the experience of an overweight person, so asking them to discard their hang-ups and baggage about their size seems a bit ignorant. Like people who claim not to "see color" and that in order to "get over" racism, we should stop talking about race issues, it's not simply enough to just focus on love. We must actively start dismantling the systemic causes of body dismorphia, which starts with acknowledging your privilege as a thin person – not defending it.

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 5:30pm

    Hi!

    I read your words with understanding and I relate, there is truth ringing. However if other people make a choice to treat myself, or you, or another by their weight that is their choice- not my own. I have no accountability over the way people may treat me. I get to exist as I am and live my life and progress, evolve and grow and deal with the people I cross paths with.

    I don't view my waist size as a "get out of jail free card" or a "pass go and collect 200 dollars because your skinny" card. I just see it as part of my exterior. I didn't show up while being created and choose what my measurements were. If someone deems me "privileged" as a size zero that is their own opinion and shit to deal with. I feel privileged to just walk upon this earth in the company of all the other magnificent souls, and I demand of the world to stop imposing judgment or shame on me all the same as someone who isn't a size zero. (we're all on the bus, remember?)

    No where in my article did I ask an overweight person to discard their hang ups or baggage about their size. If you view existing as a size zero a privilege or a reason to lie down and take harassment that is your opinion, and how you see the world. I do not agree, and I will not lie down and accept harassment or bullying on my size.

    thank you for your voice,

    Janne Robinson

      anonymous Mar 2, 2015 10:13pm

      It's really bothersome that you're disregarding your privilege. In your defensive reply, you completely ignored and distored many valid points. She never said to accept abuse. She said to acknowledge that your problem isn't as bad as others. You're very self serving and your "kind" replies aren't covering up your strawman arguments. Sincerely, a fellow thin girl

anonymous May 26, 2014 8:38pm

This. Because even though ‘I’ am not skinny, all 5 of my kids are. My daughter is 10 and wears a little kids size 8 to fit her in the waist, but for pants she needs a girls 14slim to be long enough. She’s already been deemed a ‘stick’ by her friends. She is active and eats well. Alot has to do with genetics. I hate hearing from people that I should feed my kids. I do. They eat like crazy. But they also burn it off like crazy. From a mom that’s hoping to teach her kids that there’s more to life than the size of your body, your skinny, healthy ass is marvelous. Lol. Thank you 😉

    anonymous Jun 1, 2014 5:22pm

    Hi Jackie,

    You go momma grizz on those people calling her "stick". I hope that she can read these words and know she is not alone. And I hope that you can spend time assuring her that taking those comments with a light heart isn't how she has to take it. She can stand up and say, "HEY!" whenever she wants. She has a right as human being to not take harassment. We all do. Love to you, thank you for your voice and strength for her journey in this sometimes harsh world!

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 8:31pm

Unfortunately, I’m not receiving the love you say we need more of. I agree. We need both love and compassion for one another. It must be lost somewhere in this rant. I do hear that you feel unseen and you suffer. As we all do… hoping you get all you need.

    anonymous May 31, 2014 2:46am

    Hi Randi,

    I think we could douse our world with love so many times a day we would be drowning in it and then we could wait a moment and add more. We all need love and compassion. The words above are not meant to be a rant- but awareness in an issue needing light in our world and society. I am glad I spoke out about it and have opened the doorway for others to speak of their suffering, harassment and journey within our world.

    I feel very, very seen.

    Thank you for your voice,

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 8:13pm

Thank you so much for this. Im a size 3 im almost 21 and I get told by my family and friends im to skinny. My sister looks at me like I do crack but I dont I cant help my body. My family thinks I dont eat. I eat like a horse. Im a person not just a skinny bitch that has problems. Im a normal girl. Im not that active. But I do walk places and eat right when im not eating horrible food. I needed to hear this Ive always been secure about my weight. Now I feel like im beautiful. Thank you so much.

    anonymous May 31, 2014 2:42am

    Hi Shannon,

    Thank you for your voice. Thank you for standing in the light with me on this issue. Sounds like your family could benefit in reading these words, or having a discussion on it. They should be the ones having your back at the end of a weary day. Skinny is beautiful. Fat is beautiful. And everywhere in between is also beautiful.

    I hear you, I see you, I've got your back.

    Love,

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 7:39pm

Lassie, it's bollocks, not bollux.

    anonymous May 31, 2014 2:40am

    Well, darn.

    But, you caught my drift right?

    😉

anonymous May 26, 2014 6:08pm

I'm calling BS on this one. There is a HUGE difference between fat and skinny shaming. Yes there are memes about "skinny girls not being real women" but all of the skinny shaming comes out of jealousy and envy. NOBODY is ever jealous or envious of a fat person. So even if a skinny woman is shamed for their size its never because they are seen as disgusting to the general public its because they are what society considers an ideal body type and it is a tactic to cut them down out of jealousy. I am a man. I am in great shape now. I use to be overweight and I have also been very thin and I can tell you any comments people made to me about being "too thin" were NOTHING compared to the comments shaming me for being fat. You have no idea unless you have been there and back. So I'm sorry…this whole thing with people whining about "skinny shaming" is complete and utter BS. I'm not saying its nice to put anyone down. Am I condoning shaming anyone? no….however when a thin person is shamed its out of jealousy. When a fat person is shamed its because society and people in general look at them as subhuman and disgusting. No matter how you slice it a thin person will ALWAYS be privileged and have advantaged because of the way they look. Its like a rich person bitching because people are making fun of them for having too much money. Its absurd. Thin people have major advantages in life. Get over it.

    anonymous May 27, 2014 5:26pm

    So….because some may perceive me as being at an advantage due to my appearance, I should just smile and nod if strangers accuse me of being a drug addict and tell me I'm not a real woman and that my body is disgusting? At 32 years old, I'm over it, but as a self-conscious, gawky teenager, I feared being seen in a bathing suit or shorts because I knew people would think it was cute and appropriate to make hateful comments about my awkward body. Oh, but it's cool, because they were just jealous.

      anonymous May 31, 2014 2:30am

      No–Fuck no Elizabeth.

      I want you to stand in your power, your brilliance, your worth, your truth and knock inappropriate, abusive, judgemental opinions out of the ballpark with your ferocious might.

      I've got your back, sister.

      Janne

    anonymous May 28, 2014 9:31am

    Is it envy if a man is the one telling women that they're not a real woman because they're too skinny? Because when a man is telling me I don't measure up as a women due to my lack of double d's, I'm pretty sure I'm just getting the same old "you're less than a human and gross to look at" message that fat people get. That's pretty hard to get over.

      anonymous May 29, 2014 2:12pm

      The difference is that as a culture and social system, there are constant messages being sent that fat is bad, fat people are lazy, stupid, sloppy, and less worthy of love and respect than thin people. You might experience some discomfort on a personal, individual level, but you are not being constantly and systematically discriminated against due to your body type. I'm not saying skinny people don't get teased (I was teased mercilessly as a pre-teen and through school for being thin) but we experience a minute fraction of the discomfort and discrimination that fat people do.

        anonymous May 31, 2014 2:39am

        Yes, I agree.

        I'm not saying skinny is riding on top of the bus or in first class, we're all on the bus. This isn't about who get's more flack and who is more worthy of speaking out against harassment. We are all worthy of sticking our hands up and saying, "Hey, that doesn't feel nice. Zip it jack-ass." I want us all to sit on the bus together and have each other's backs, beat of society norms of "real woman".

        I want the size zero's to know they are not meant to cower over and take abuse because they are "more privileged" therefore there voices are irrelevant.

        Janne

          anonymous Aug 19, 2014 12:54am

          Definitely agree and you should feel empowered and supported to know that you do not need to take abuse due to your thin privilege. Guilt and shame does not achieve anything. You acknowledge this privilege exists so that's the first step. You're right, we are all on the bus together, so while you're feeling proud of your body and your shape and empowered in that, remember to bring along with you all those who maybe don't feel the love, be they fat, average, old, young, red, white, black, or whatever. No one gets higher by oppressing or putting down others, so while you big up your skinny girls, remember to acknowledge those who don't necessarily benefit from being a part of that group. Then you are using your thin privilege to best effect.

          anonymous Dec 7, 2014 6:57pm

          I love what you had to say, Janne, thank you! What I am getting from all of this isn't who is 'better off' or 'worse off', but just you shining a light on the fact that being thin isn't necessarily the dream it is thought to be by most people, and that we all struggle- period! And that we are all unfairly judged. . .I used to have about 10-20 extra pounds on me before I learned about some blood-sugar issues I had going on, and I was always self-conscious about my body- many years ago I started working with a naturopath and cut out all sugar, alcohol, and caffeine- and lost 20 pounds without trying, and I ate CONSTANTLY- but I had found foods that my body was able to properly metabolize, and that is why I lost weight. Anyhow, I remember being in a group of women shopping for clothing, and I said "they don't have my size- I need an extra-small" and a woman who was moderately over-weight said bitterly to everyone and no one "You women and your extra smalls!" I, in that moment, felt like I had done something wrong, and little did she know I had major body issues my whole life, and even since losing weight, it was still an issue. . .not to mention that this 'thinness' was a result of strong commitment to a particular diet for my own health, energy, and balance, and was not about being thin at all- it was a mere by-product of how I was taking care of myself. I also exercised regularly and happen to have a naturally fast metabolism. I never 'tried' to lose weight, or limited myself with food- I ate/eat 5-6 meals a day of substantial quantity! Anyhow, that was just a small moment compared to what everyone is talking about here, but, yes- I grew up with a very low self-esteem and then finally got to a place where I felt good about my body after 34 years, and then was feeling resentment and criticism from another woman. Anyhow- I am not trying to say I am a victim here- just acknowledging the ways that we all can feel attacked and misunderstood, and to bring a reminder that we all have our own story, and we all have feelings! I echo the call to support each other, regardless of size!

      anonymous May 31, 2014 2:34am

      Mel,

      Any man who judges your womanhood by your breast cups hasn't spent much time acquainting himself with the divine fem. Your brilliance doesn't fit inside a Double D.

      Speak up– thank you for your voice.

      with warmth and might,

      Janne

    anonymous May 31, 2014 2:29am

    Hi Max,

    Shaming is shaming. Bullying is Bullying. In your reply I hear you holding on, with much fire to the "fat" and "skinny". I would like to revisit that although this article IS about body image and verbal abuse that slips by without a slap on the wrist for the skinnies, this article was at the core of it all about the inside bit. It isn't about wether skinny people are bullied more, or fat people. It isn't about wether as a size zero I put up with less than a size 8- it's all completely irrelevant.

    My words are about irrepressible self love and acceptance of the bit that counts- so unless you can squish someones brilliance, and their soul in some jeans, this argument isn't worth your energy or mine.

    Thank you for your voice,

    Janne

    anonymous Dec 7, 2014 5:10pm

    well put!

anonymous May 26, 2014 2:19pm

Hi! i just read your article and i ilove it i,m size cero too since i can remember, i almost cry reading this because im identified , i lived thouthg the same things, i tryied to go for that numbers that i have never reach, its the same story that happened to me , people dont know that we ,the "skinny ",cry because they laugh and make jokes of us like with the over size people, and the way you put it on words just full me, thank you for wrote this i send you lots of love from Costa Rica.

    anonymous May 27, 2014 2:12am

    I am so glad my words filled your heart to a point of tears you resilient, feisty, beautiful, skinny soul!

    Thank you for your voice, it makes mine stronger. Pura Vida my sister- loving you back.

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 2:09pm

Speaking as a Fat Lady, I think you are beautiful. I'm so tired of people feeling the need to criticize others for their body shape, whether skinny or fat or anything in between. I don't let it pass when people say, "She needs to put down the cheeseburgers and walk a couple of miles.", and I don't let it pass when people say, "She needs a pork chop or ten." Both are equally as rude and, quite frankly, no one else's business.

Keep on enjoying life, whatever shape it takes. I'll be right there next to you with my round self! 🙂

    anonymous May 27, 2014 2:10am

    Loving your juicy, fleshy soul sitting next to me on the bus Lys,

    your sister.

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 2:08pm

I am astonished by the praise for this article, and I’m probably going to be chastised for saying this, but how dare you? I’m morbidly obese and would LOVE one day to not stress incessantly about what I put in my mouth. Or if I want a serving size of ice cream, to not see the horrible looks of those judging. I worry about belly bulges and double chins. If it’s even a degree hotter than 68 I’m miserable. So how dare you complain when there are others of us that look upon you saying, “why I couldn’t I have born with those genes?”

    anonymous May 26, 2014 7:34pm

    Hi, Courtney!

    I'm fat. I currently weigh around 350 pounds. At my peak weight I was 500 pounds. I tell you that so you know where I'm coming from.

    I believe that she has every right to complain, and let me explain why. You see, whether we are big or small, fat or skinny, dealing with collarbones or belly bulges, no one…NO ONE…has the right to shame us for our body types. It is just as stressful for her and those like her, I have no doubt, to always be criticized for being too skinny as it is for someone to be criticized for being too fat.

    Those of us who want everybody…meaning every body….to be accepted need to work together to achieve that goal. That means that ANY body criticism needs to stop, no matter what kind it is.

    The thing is that she is beautiful, and you are beautiful, and I am beautiful! Our bodies are amazing. They breathe in and out, the blood runs through our veins, our brains work and our eyes blink. Our bodies do all of these things without us even having to try and MAKE them happen consciously. Isn't that awesome? We, as human beings, need to stop focusing on all the things that society has branded as 'wrong', and focus on what is 'right', and 'right' is who we are. Now. This moment. That person may change in a minute, or a day, or an hour, or a year, but that person will be 'right' as well.

    Don't be angry with her for putting her feelings out there. They are valid feelings, just as your feelings are valid for you. Her feelings don't invalidate yours in any way. Empathize with her, because you're both dealing with two sides of the exact same coin, and if we're ever going to melt that coin down and remove it from our world, we have to do so together, not fighting one another.

    Thanks for listening. 🙂

      anonymous May 26, 2014 8:53pm

      Now I am feeling the love and compassion I came searching for. Thanks you, Lys.

      anonymous May 27, 2014 2:09am

      Hi Lys,

      I love everything that you wrote. Except this wasn't meant to be a complaint, it was an outcry at harassment and a stand for others who have struggled or are struggling with self love and acceptance in the midst of low blows on their weight.

      Thanks for sharing your juicy soul with us- I love what you have to say.

      Janne

    anonymous May 27, 2014 2:06am

    Hi Courtney,

    I dared to write this for countless reasons. I was bullied when I was younger. I ate my lunch in the bathroom, shoved tissue in my braw and fantasized about what boobs and curves would feel like. What if a young girl or boy in junior high struggling with self esteem and harassment finds my words?

    This is not me complaining–more so shedding light on both sides of bullying with body image that occurs. The whole point of this article was to love ourselves regardless of something as trivial as our waist size. Underneath it all- I've got the same thing that you do. A soul and a red beating heart.

    Can you hear that and step over the rest?

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 1:53pm

Janne, I am a photographer who regularly shoots editorial and fashion shoots in New York City and I absolutely love your article. I can't count the number of times that people have told models that I've been in the middle of shooting with on the streets of New York that "skinny ain't pretty." So many people assume that all models are anorexic or bulimic. They assume those girls never eat. And, probably worst of all, they assume that those models are their enemies.

I can't speak for all models, but I can definitely speak for the girls I've watched devour an entire meal and then dive into a dessert after a photo shoot. I've known models that work hard to stay fit so they can eat what they want when they want and still keep doing the job they are paid to do. And I've seen those same models look at pictures of other women and tell them how gorgeous THEY are.

Skinny women are not the enemy. They aren't there to make you feel bad about yourself or to talk badly about you. They are working, living, loving, and doing all the things that you do and trying to make the most of their lives. I haven't met one that's actively trying to make non-thin women feel worse about themselves.

It gets exhausting trying to correct someone every time they post something like, "She needs a cheeseburger," under a picture from a shoot I've done, but I do it anyway because I hope that, next time, that person will think twice before making a comment like that. Most people don't realize they're being hurtful or bullying, but they are, and I love that this piece you wrote really cuts to the quick of that. I'm glad a friend shared this fantastic piece with me and I will share it with everyone I know! You've got a new subscriber! 🙂

    anonymous May 27, 2014 2:00am

    Good evening!

    Thank you for sharing your experience within the model world and also from a male looking in. But above all, thank you for standing up for the sisters you walk beside and having there skinny backs.

    "skinny women are not the enemy" Amen.

    so very grateful for your voice & you are my first subscriber I have knowledge of- so that's flattering 😉

    with warmth,

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 12:50pm

Gotta tell ya- if that's your ass posted for the world to see in the pic above, it ain't skinny, it's quite round! I mean this in the nicest possible way~

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:54am

    Ha! Well, It is my tush!

    Thanks–it's rounder than the rest of me, I promise 😉

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 11:32am

This made me cry. Thank you… <3

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:53am

    Sending you love and warmth and fire.

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 11:18am

I am so grateful that someone is speaking out for ALL body types, but particularly the skinny girls. I can relate with every single sentiment and I absolutely agree that we need to start loving each other in EVERY form. I've often kept quiet about my struggle with body image, too, because I've had friends respond in ways that are less than sympathetic because I'm "not allowed" to feel that way – when in reality, I have been bullied and made to feel insecure about my body my entire life. I've been asked if I'm on drugs, have an eating disorder and have had grown women make sounds that my body must be disgusting. To this day, I won't go to the bathroom in a public place in the middle of a meal out of fear that people assume I'm throwing up. I cannot believe I'm not alone in that!

Thank you so much for your words of empowerment – here's to the thin girls!!!!!!!!

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:53am

    Hi Nicole,

    Thank you for taking the time to write me and share your side of this struggle. It feels so good to know we are not alone in our journey and battle. I truthfully have never said out loud to anyone that I secretly fear others thinking I am throwing up when I pee mid meal- this was the first time I wrote about it and released it. Glad I wrote that line- I think it resonated with many.

    I love your skinny body all up- and your beautiful fiest, thank you belle!

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 10:41am

I am certain I could read this every day for the rest of my life. Though, even after reading it once, I felt empowered…as I am sure many other readers did as well. THANK YOU for this.

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:49am

    Then it is all worth it.

    Thank you Melinda, thank you!

anonymous May 26, 2014 9:48am

I’m curious–who ever told you that you have a small or skinny ass? Because if that picture is truly of you in the bikini and hands above your head, girl it looks (to me) like you do not! I am 5’5″ and 135 and for the most part love my body (work in progress), and I would LOVE to have that juicy ass you have!! Were you born with that too or did that come from exercise?

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:49am

    Shell,

    Way to make a girl blush all over! I exercise through yoga and hiking. But not overly so. I want to say I was born with it- but it could be a bit of both. I haven't ever gave my ass much thought or love- this article is making it's head swell 😉

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 9:43am

Also if you get chance can you let me know what brand your clothing is that your wearing in that picture of you stretching. it's beautiful and i'd like to see if i can get it in the uk. SUPER FLATTERING!! 🙂

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:47am

    Hi Jem!

    Are you meaning my bikini or tank top?

    I bought those bikini bottoms in Costa Rica. A local woman makes them in Santa Teresa. If you look up Don Johns hostel on facebook and message him he knows the woman who makes them and can put you in contact 🙂

    happy hunting- although I am sure your tush looks great with or without flattering bottems. 😉

    Janne

      anonymous May 27, 2014 9:43am

      Thanks Janne I will try to hunt down this woman and try to sort a bikini from her 🙂
      Ha ha my tush is a tad larger but I'm going to try and pull it off anyway!!
      🙂 I so love love love your blog, Jemma

        anonymous Jun 1, 2014 5:20pm

        I actually had those bottoms taken in because they were too big!! They will be perfect for you 😉 If you find Don John on facebook they will connect you! Promise. He is a big promotor of her stuff as she is local.

        Love,

        Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 7:15am

'Bout time, Janne Robinson, someone put this in words! Thank you x

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:45am

    It felt so good to release these words into the light!

    Here's to more skinny people standing up too- especially for the young ones.

    Thanks Lisa.

anonymous May 26, 2014 7:04am

Love you writing, very inspiring 🙂

anonymous May 26, 2014 6:20am

I don't think you have a skinny ass, I think it looks great!

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:43am

    Ha! Awesome. You're right–my ass has more body than the rest of me. Thanks for noticing 😉

anonymous May 26, 2014 4:27am

well said – thanks for representing us skinny ones & the comments we receive on a daily basis. Which are totally bullying! Highlighting the illusion that happiness is skinny is the pearl here! much love & respect to you xx

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:42am

    Yes!

    You get it. Article had little to do with any size ass 😉

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 26, 2014 1:01am

I appreciate this article, and yet am frustrated by multiple comments. Each and every one of us has a natural body size and should not be discouraged by it. Posting your height and weight will only discourage those that do struggle with eating disorders. If you truly want to be appreciated outisde of your height and weight, don't publisise it.

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:41am

    Hi Michele,

    Thanks for taking the time to reply. Perhaps they weren't speaking about their weights to shove anyones face into it or be represented by it but just to say, "I'm skinny too." To be seen, heard and bring a voice to the issue. I am grateful for theirs and yours.

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 25, 2014 10:43pm

Thanks for writing this, this is fabulous.

anonymous May 25, 2014 5:54pm

THANK YOU!!! I have often said very similar things to people privately – so thank you for putting all of this wonderfulness together in one, well written article about true inclusivity, acceptance and in perspective that we are just flesh and bones – the soul is what counts. There were so many highlights, and this in particular really resonated: "The solution is not to wonder how much she eats and if when she gets up to pee halfway through her meal if she is going to shove her finger down her throat in the company of a toilet." I still wonder if people who aren't my friends are thinking that when I leave a table. Sending you lots of good vibes for representing us naturally slender ladies (and men) so well!

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:38am

    This whole reply is so fantastic Kristen. Thank you!

    I have often thought that when I go to the bathroom- and it's an ugly, odd thought to have as I have never counted a calorie, or shoved my fingers down my throat. We must be so careful with what we let leak into our brains. I contemplated deleting that sentence when editing- I am glad it stayed, just for you.

    with warmth,

    Janne

anonymous May 25, 2014 2:55pm

Well. said.

I tried to gain weight for years, until it crept on naturally as I entered my forties. The 'best' one came from a 'friend' who said, as we were bemoaning the plights of being thirty and single 'you don't have any problems in life: you're skinny'. Me: …..?? What do you say to that? Sigh.

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:34am

    Hi Cindy.

    Yesh. Well here's to hoping we pull ourselves together and recognize our brilliance as something other than our waist size. Skinny girls have single issues too 😉

    Thank you for taking the time to write me!

    Janne

anonymous May 25, 2014 9:36am

This is amazing!! And so needed – this is literally the first article I’ve read that sums up what I’ve been experiencing and feeling MY WHOLE DAMN SKINNY LIFE. It’s such a shame that this is ONLY the first article I’ve been able to find, but maybe this is only the beginning!?! I hope so. Such gratitude to you, for starting this conversation, and helping me and others feel less alone.

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:33am

    Hi Cynthia,

    I wish I would of had a place of relatibility to lie my heavy heart upon growing up. I so hear you. I am also unsure why no one speaks out about this- I hope that I hear many, many more voices on the issue. Thank you for yours.

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 25, 2014 8:41am

YES! Thank you for this! At 5'3 and 99 lbs. I'm considered pretty little. Either they think your anorexic, a meth addict or you have cancer. Nope, just physically fit with a turbo metabolism. If we could all just drop the veil of judgement and see the soul of humanity in each individual this world would be a better place. It's really that simple.

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:30am

    YES! to you. So wonderful. Here's to seeing more souls, and less shells. (But still loving our shells nonetheless).

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 25, 2014 8:38am

Thank you! I'm 35 and weigh 95, I've had similar experiences.
Skinny women are not sick, we are just skinny! We are just little!
Have a nice a life!

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:29am

    Your message made me smile. Yes! We are just little- and so stinking wonderful in our littleness.

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 25, 2014 2:03am

Great article! I've been skinny my whole life and I'm in my 50's. I marvel when someone thinks it's okay to say to me, "Have you lost weight?" using a tone that reflects it is not okay if I have. I would never say to someone, "Have you gained weight?"

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:28am

    It's a silly world we live in sometimes. I hope to open a few minds with this- thanks for your voice sista.

    Janne

anonymous May 25, 2014 1:37am

Excellent article Janne! Beautifully written and eloquently expressed! Loved it.

I could sooo relate, and being a fellow skinny sentient being was always trying to put on some weight…as guys are just as much as affected as you beautiful, skinny girls. 🙂 With the billion dollar, weight-loss, fat-burning industry and its prevalence in the media – many people are striving to be thinner these days, though if you go a touch too thin (ala Tara Stiles for example), or for myself at times – you immediately engage a full-on critique by those who believe you have something wrong with you.

It's quite frankly looney tunes, and a mix of contradictions – and what's really crazy is, you're fantastically beautiful (from head to toe)….and have a beautiful womanly figure. Though, you already know that! …just thought I would reinforce that one more time.

Anyhow, your article really hits the nail on the head, in a big way!!

It will undoubtedly help a great many people (and already has, I'm sure), who like us…lived in a shadow of doubt, and wavering self-love and acceptance – who will see this as a blessing, and their beautiful skinny-ness in the light it deserves. 🙂

Warmly,
Tim

    anonymous May 27, 2014 1:28am

    Hi Tim,

    Thank you for writing me. I so wish I could of written this to be inclusive to all fellow skinny beings- I am glad that it spoke to you in some way even though I spoke mainly to a female demographic.

    The goal is for us to toss aside our exteriors and get our love on for our souls- but also be comfortable in our skin. No room for self doubt or wavering self love and acceptance. Thank you for all your words, they all resonate so. I am both flattered and grateful!

    warmly,

    Janne

      anonymous May 29, 2014 12:30am

      Hi Janne,

      Thank you for your kind, supportive, and positive words. I agree, there is no room for self doubt or wavering self love.

      Excellent article, and thank you for taking the time to reply. You're awesome!

      My best,
      Tim

        anonymous Jun 1, 2014 5:19pm

        No YOU'RE AWESOME!

        love,

        Janne

anonymous May 24, 2014 3:10pm

Who is throwing skinny women under the bus? No one. Literally. No one.

    anonymous May 24, 2014 5:11pm

    Hi Kate,

    I am not sure you read the article. I was inspired to write this after a woman commented on a photograph of myself in an article I wrote this month saying, “Wouldn’t it be even better if the picture were of a person more realistic? This size zero blow dried super tan model just turns me right off the content.”

    I have dealt with harassment, verbal abuse, bullying, judgments, assumptions, and jokes at the expense of my weight my entire life. I listed above ^^^^ some examples.

    I wrote this to speak out against harassment to skinny women but the big picture was about body image and our world- and learning to love our bodies regardless of our waist size. The article was about self acceptance and love and our divinity taking precedence over our exteriors.

    I am a skinny women, and I have had people try and throw me under the bus. This article was my raising my hand to speak about it.

    Janne

      anonymous Dec 24, 2014 7:56am

      Hi Janne,

      First of all, bless you! You are just an amazing, thoughtful, and an inspiring human being and I praise your spirit and strength to stand up for what you believe in!

      I too have dealt with bullying and harassment due to my slight and stunning figure. It is unfair that others are not gifted with the natural looks, intelligence and all around sophisticated understanding of the world that you and I share. When I go for hikes, I too look air brushed and model-esque. Some would say I am too beautiful; others would say I am just perfect, but I say f*** the haters!

      I found your bus analogy to be particularly compelling. Much like Rosa Parks, who stood up to a system of injustice and segregation by refusing to give away her seat, you are bold enough to stand up for those who are too often put on a pedestal. That is, unless your “bus” reference is a clever and subtle allusion to “Mean Girls”, a masterpiece exposing the threats of our thin-phobic society.

      Us skinny bitches will hopefully form a movement, and some day, maybe even achieve equality– just as we fought for civil rights and independence from England– we too shall overcome! Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, Merry (or Happy?) Kwanza, and Happy New Year to all!

      Here's to a new world filled with only the most beautiful people! Thanks for your inspiration.

      Love,
      -Barbara "Barbie" Smith

    anonymous May 24, 2014 9:27pm

    People definitely throw skinny women under the bus. Probably the only ones that would know this are skinny girls and trust me, as one, I can assure you this is surely the case. Women I don't even know seemed to think it was acceptable to make critical comments about my weight. I don't walk up to people and comment on their weight when they are overweight, underweight or otherwise. It is simply rude and injurious to their body images to do this.

      anonymous May 26, 2014 11:25am

      Yes it is! Let people know. Speak sister.

      Some people truly have no idea. I served a table last night at an oyster bar and a man and his wife and another couple made a comment about me "not eating" (the day I published the article) and I wrote the link down for them 😉 I also told them I had a fast metabolism and one of them admitted their daughter is a rail and also gets bullied- they apologized after. People don't always think with their hearts before they speak. Thanks for your voice Melina!

        anonymous Sep 23, 2014 11:17pm

        Kate is either a troll or a wag. It may just be a joke, because she said, "Literally." Not as in "literally no one," but as in "literally throw them under a bus."

        Be that as it may, wonderful article, Janne! You nailed it! I've been skinny all my life, and had nothing to do with it. 60+ years of age, and no beer belly. Not for lack of beer, either!

        I've seen skinny-shaming plenty of times; that's what we mean (figuratively) when we say "throwing them under the bus." I make a point of it whenever I see it to speak up for the skinny, just as I would regarding religion-shaming, ethnic-shaming. We just need to get past all that and appreciate one another.

        Best wishes on your continued success in writing. You have a worthy voice, and a beautiful body! 🙂

    anonymous May 25, 2014 9:40am

    Have you not seen countless memes and pictures being posted all the time on Facebook? "Real women have curves, only dogs go for bones." Or the pictures of skinny actresses on top, and somewhat curvy, classic actresses like Marilyn Monroe on the bottom saying: "When did THIS become more sexy/attractive than THIS?"
    There is judgment and name calling on all sides of the spectrum. The point of this article is that some women are a size zero, and they are just as beautiful as any other woman. We are all beautiful.
    Wonderful article!

      anonymous May 26, 2014 11:23am

      Yes!

      So true. I like those articles in a way- because in my own eyes it is someone standing up and saying, "All bodies are beautiful. My tush is marvelous." The media does spend too much time on skinny. But they also do throw skinny under the bus so I feel mixed. Raw beauty talks is a company I really enjoy. They have women photographed without makeup and interviewed. They posted a photograph on instagram a few weeks ago of a man holding a sign saying "The definition of beautiful does not require the word skinny". I understood their point but still went "HEY!" at it. We all be on the bus, man. I started to write this article then.

      We are all saying the same thing in different languages. We are all beautiful indeed.

      Thank you Mindy..

        anonymous Dec 3, 2014 1:33pm

        One of the things that occurred to me as I read this – as a non-skinny, curvy, plus-sized woman – is that you and I have been bullied in all of the same ways that I have, except for the opposite reasons. My friend and I started a blog called Fashion Penpals to celebrate the style of people of all shapes and sizes, and earlier this year, a friend of mine contributed a post about struggling with being "too skinny, too flat, etc." her whole life. It made me realize how much she felt many of the same issues as us plus sized ladies.

        I do think that the "real women have curves" and "eat a hamburger" comments come from people who are angry about how they've been treated, and it becomes this weird knee-jerk reaction. I admit that sometimes when I look through fashion magazines, I will catch myself literally looking for any reason to judge the models (I even do this with plus size models, believe it or not). Being conscious of that behavior helps me slowly change it, but I think it's a defense mechanism that many women carry as a means to avoid feeling bad about themselves. The especially sad part of that is that we still tend to feel bad about ourselves, anyway. It's a vicious cycle.

        The truth that should be spread more prevalently is that nobody actually agrees on what the ideal woman looks like, or the ideal man, for that matter, and that's worth celebrating! There are *plenty* of men who love skinny women. There are plenty of women who love skinny women! And "average sized" women, athletic women, plus size women, short women, tall women, all races of women, all ages of women, and of course, all men, too :). Find the people who love and celebrate you for you, in all that makes you a complicated, interesting, valuable person.

        Thanks for writing this. I *had* to share it on the Fashion Penpals Facebook. It made my day!

          anonymous Dec 4, 2014 11:23am

          I couldnt agree more!
          I have been harassed my entire like for being over weight, and my niece gets comments for being too thin. No one wins.
          I have seen comments from posters like "All fat people need to be put on an island with no food until they all lose weight" or "No man wants a fatty".
          Then the same day I see "Only dogs want bones" or "You'd cut yourself open on their hip bones!"
          It makes me sad that no one will ever be good enough for other people.
          I've lost over 140 lbs and still have about 50 to go. People in my family cant get past the weight loss to see me anymore. Now, I am the chick that lost weight, not the kind human being that has a wonderful life, or loving family.
          My niece is naturally thin, plus a part of the Army National Guard. So, she is required to be in top shape, to do her job. She works out, eats healthy, runs. She isnt doing it because SOCIETY tells her she has to be thin. She IS thin, and her job makes her maintain the powerhouse build. I'm so proud of her, for reasons that have nothing to do with her size 0.
          If for five minutes people could just see inside our hearts and our souls, no one would care what size pants they wear. They would see that we are all the same, and that true beauty comes from how we live our lives and how we treat our fellow human beings.

    anonymous May 25, 2014 3:37pm

    I think you literally mean "figuratively." 😉 Especially, and hopefully, when it comes to the bus? 🙂 Seriously, I do think there’s a lot of rhetoric, some on elephant, much in our culture, about “real” women not being model-thin. For further relephant reading, see this image and read this article, if curious: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/01/can-we-ret

    Yours,

    Way
    ~
    Waylon Lewis
    Walk the Talk Show, elephantjournal.com
    8 million readers/month, 1st in #green twice nationally on twitter, Awards
    “Straight cash, homey.” ~ Rumi

    anonymous May 26, 2014 4:21pm

    clearly, you have never been bullied for being what people label as skinny. I was, at a certain point in my life, a double zero. No amount of food would make me gain weight, it was just the way my body was. I have gained weight as the years go by, but still remember the "no boobs, skinny legs, eat a hamburger comments", and still get the "remember when you were skinny? you are getting chubby. enjoying those chips?" when in reality i am as healthy as any 25 year old can be, "proportionate" height/weight, active lifestyle, healthy food choices. the fact that you have never gone through it doesn't mean it does not exist. you are ignorant to this issue, therefore you shouldn't contradict the author's comments. Bullying someone about their weight is WRONG, regardless of what number is on the scale.

    i really hope that you never get teased about your appearance, so that you never have to feel the self doubt and self loathe many of us work so hard to overcome. and if you have been teased already, please be a little more empathetic, don't let your ignorance get the best of you.

      anonymous May 27, 2014 1:21am

      Thank you for your feist my skinny sista!

      Thank you for your vigor, support and voice.

      with love,

      Janne

    anonymous May 27, 2014 10:33pm

    People do make fun of skinny women. I've been called "twig" and "stick" throughout my teen and adult life. Every time I go out to eat with someone, who is bigger than me, and I get a doggy bag for my food (or if I start with a smaller portion), a comment is made ("no wonder you're so skinny") in a snide voice. There are memes and blogs all devoted to telling skinny women they aren't "real" because they don't have curves.

    No body should be made fun of because of there looks. Skinny or thin.

    anonymous Dec 5, 2014 4:32pm

    I'm sorry, but that is completely false. As someone who is a size zero, I hear it all the time. If I'm not being told that I don't eat enough, need to "eat a cheeseburger" or that I must have an eating disorder, I'm being told that I am not a "real woman" because I don't have very pronounced curves– and that's putting it lightly, my curves barely exist at all. So yes, there ARE people throwing skinny women under the bus, you just don't think about it when it happens because there aren't nearly as many people who get upset over skinny shaming as there are that get upset over "fat" shaming. My nickname was chicken legs when I was growing up because of how skinny my legs were along with the rest of my body. Just because you don't see the problem doesn't mean it doesn't exist. As for being a "real woman," that phrase shouldn't be limited to one body type. Real women come in all shapes in sizes, whether it's a size zero or a plus size.

    anonymous Dec 10, 2014 8:32am

    Agreed. Hop onto chive and get all the positive reinforcement you need. Not everyone says nice things all the time, no matter your size.

anonymous May 24, 2014 2:02pm

How about for our skinny brothers, too!!

I also was teased a lot growing up for being skinny. Even as an adult people would tell me I need to eat more. I simply felt healthy. As a culture, we value bigger is better, supersize everything: our homes, our food, our muscles, our market, our wallets, our reach, etc. except our women. We don't like supersized women. But don't be too skinny, either. You ladies just can't win in this insane setup.

As a man, being called skinny was just another way of being emasculated, as if I wasn't physically big enough to warrant my masculinity. Craziness all of it. Great article.

Cheers to the skinny people. And the fat ones, too, and everyone in between. We're all too sexy for our shirts … and this insanity!

    anonymous May 24, 2014 5:06pm

    To sweet, sweet Bryan.

    You are the very definition of all things masculine should be, in my eyes- with your open hearted vulnerability, strong voice, grace and confidence. I think you are in the top 10% of men who walk this planet.

    I am sorry to making this not inclusive to men- I did try but somehow it didn't fit with my own personal experiences.

    Loving your skinny ass,

    Janne

    anonymous May 25, 2014 3:09pm

    Bryan, you should contribute your own story! It's true, this affects men so much, too—fat, weak, skinny, short—we've heard it all. http://www.elephantjournal.com/submit

anonymous May 24, 2014 12:32pm

Thank you for sharing!! I am also a tiny gal, 5'4 and weight fluctuates between 108 and 111. I go back and forth all the time thinking I need to put on some pounds and I've tried everything except eating McDonald's everyday. For me it's not about packing on the pounds by any means possible but feeling good inside and out. I'm small, I'll probably always be small and self love and acceptance are key. So thank you!

    anonymous May 24, 2014 5:03pm

    Jess,

    This made me smile as when I was fourteen I worked at Mcdonalds for a year or so and ate it a few times a day- horrendous amounts. My small ass stayed the same.

    "It''s not about packing on the pound by any means possible but feeling good inside and out."

    You got it girl- you are already there. Loving your voice.

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 24, 2014 10:55am

This this 1000 times this!!! I am 5'5" and 100 lbs. I have not reached acceptance, let alone love, of my body. But I am trying. Thank you for this.

    anonymous May 24, 2014 5:01pm

    Well in the meantime I am going to love all 100 lbs and 5"5 of you.

    It helped me love my body being naked. I used to feel uncomfortable naked… so I started to sleep naked, spend time in front of the mirror naked, do yoga naked. I got vulnerable with my naked body, loving it all up. It helped my confidence and sex life. A small suggestion from my own journey to yours.

    Thanks for writing me Kate!

    with warmth,

    Janne

anonymous May 24, 2014 6:36am

I was a 5'6 105 lb flat chested "girl" until I hit my mid 30's. I remember trying everything to gain weight just so I could feel better about my tiny body. I was treated and referred to as a young lady or girl until I finally had breast enhancements and gained weight. I have 3 children now and weigh 135…I am also pushing 40. Now I've been made to feel uncomfortable because I'm a bit heavier than some of my relatives. Luckily I'm old enough now that I really don't care what others say, think, or feel about my body. It's mine. I live with it and I love it. Those who have an opinion can either keep it to themselves or kiss myy ass!

    anonymous May 24, 2014 4:59pm

    YES! So great! You sound so powerful and confident Charity. It's so refreshing to hear.

    Hell yeah- love your body all up, always.

    Thank you for your voice, it makes mine stronger.

    Janne

    anonymous Sep 2, 2014 9:04pm

    Yeah…I'm 5'6 I weigh 140 and I'm constantly badgered for being too thin. Want to weigh about160

anonymous May 24, 2014 3:43am

I'm a skinny 54 year old male. I've heard the same comments my whole life. It crosses the gender line too. Oh well. I'm proud I don't carry a beer belly – and my wife is too!

    anonymous May 24, 2014 11:41am

    Was thinking this through the whole article. Much of this is human nature–our weak tendency to prejudge others is sadly universal. 🙂

      anonymous May 24, 2014 4:57pm

      Judgement isn't reserved for just us vaginas- amen. Thanks for the reminder 😉

    anonymous May 24, 2014 4:56pm

    Jim,

    I tried to swap this to make it less gender specific a few times- but when writing about my own personal experiences it was hard to apply the whole article to all skinnes- regardless of gender. I tried to throw in a "brosista". I will work at making my writing including of us all- thanks for the reminder.

    with warmth,

    Janne

      anonymous Nov 30, 2014 11:33am

      I have to agree with Jim. I get more comments from people wanting to feed me or bulk me up then most people could ever realize. It is pretty difficult to be on the lighter side in one of the most obese states in the Union.
      It is really hard to wrap my mind around. Health shaming…who would have thought?

anonymous May 24, 2014 12:03am

Awesome article, Im not teeny, not large but curvy and have/had body image issues as do most women at some point in their lives , sometimes for their whole life. So sad. Women's bodies are so beautiful when naked, big or small. If that last photo is of you, beautiful, you don't have a skinny bum :), you have a beautiful womanly bum :D. Thank you for a fantastic article. xx

    anonymous May 24, 2014 4:55pm

    Hi Kate,

    Yes! This article was about the flack on body image I've had in my body but it was mainly about all bodies- and just loving our souls up regardless of what the label on our pants says. All bodies are beautiful!

    The last photograph is the one I received some flack for- and Thank you, I am proud of my whole teeny body and bum 😉

    Thank you for writing to say so, sister.

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 23, 2014 9:41pm

From one teeny gal to another, thanks. 🙂 I was also very self-conscious of my small size as a child, not to mention going through late puberty (losing my last baby tooth as a sophomore in high school. On the upper right side. Looked good in my soccer photos…). I am familiar with the snide comments to 'gain some weight' from perfect strangers, and I've never understood why they felt it was appropriate to comment, when to say the opposite to a larger person is incredibly rude. Thankfully, I've reached the age where I just don't give a crap anymore, and I enjoy my build and my strength.

    anonymous May 24, 2014 4:53pm

    Here's to not giving a crap!

    Love that- Thank you for sharing Kris 🙂

    with warmth,

    Janne

anonymous May 23, 2014 8:40pm

WOW!! Completely nailed it!! My skinny ass humbly thanks you! X

    anonymous May 24, 2014 4:52pm

    My skinny ass high fives your skinny ass back.

    warmly,

    Janne

anonymous May 23, 2014 8:20pm

Dana M: <3

Olivia M This is perfect.

    anonymous May 24, 2014 4:52pm

    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you 🙂

anonymous May 23, 2014 8:15pm

Mary Bradley Love this! Thank you!!
Like · Reply · 1 · about an hour ago

Lauren H Wow…this article feels like it was written about me. I've been skinny my whole life too (well, fluctuated about 20 pounds) but I get it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Mercedes B Oooh gosh I am in this very same boat. Everyone assumes I'm puking or on drugs…non of which are true! Just very lil parents n a crazy fast metabolism

Jen Blanchard Thanks for this!

Tania Diaz M Andrea M

Allison L Thank you! Working on undoing all that insecurity myself…

Paula S Thank you for writing this. thank you thank you thank you.

    anonymous May 24, 2014 4:11pm

    Thank you! This needed to be said. I related to everything you said.

anonymous May 23, 2014 6:30pm

Beautifully written, thank you so much for this.

    anonymous May 24, 2014 4:51pm

    You're so welcome Justine.

    warmly,

    Janne

    anonymous May 25, 2014 12:18am

    I SO appreciate this- your writing, your perspective and the fact that SOMEONE is finally saying this publicly!
    I am NOT a size 0- I am a very mid-weight, size 6-8, but I have noticed and been entirely annoyed when I do lose weight (usually after being sick), that people find it appropriate to say "You're so skinny!" as if it's a complement.
    I look at them and I say, "well that's rude".
    I know they mean well, but I think it's inappropriate to comment on being skinny, fat, etc. Sure! Say I look strong if I do, say I look happy if I do, say I look tired- whatever, but euughhhhh! It makes me so angry that people are so short-sided and one-dimensional.
    I too, have defended people I've seen on the street- when people I'm with comment that they must be anorexic- with the obsession with accepting heavier people we have made no place for thin people.
    SO yes! Rock your beautiful self! and thank you!

    anonymous Jun 5, 2014 6:16pm

    Well I think your gorgeous. Tx for sharing

    anonymous Jun 21, 2014 2:36pm

    Wow. I never knew there was discrimination the other way around. I always thought that it was people who were overweight that got picked on. It seemed like people always wanted to aspire to be thin. I am 5'-5" and 230 pounds. My stomach is a little pudgy, but I have nice thighs and hips. I used to have a chest that people would pay to get 40 G cup, I was known for my huge chest and I was self conscious about it since I was in 3rd grade. I was the only kid in 3rd grade wearing a 36 B cup. I inherited this large chest size from my grandmother. I always wished for a smaller chest so that I would stop being harassed. Well in July of 2011 I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer Stage 3B. I went through chemo, surgery and radiation. They took both of my breasts and I had reconstructive surgery. I asked my surgeon to make my breasts as small as possible without me looking weird. I now have 44 B cup size breasts. I love the new size, but more than that I am happy to be alive. Do I wish I was thinner? Yes, but I love myself as is and don't spend time beating myself up for the weight I am. If you would like to contact me to comment or talk my email is [email protected] or you can find me on facebook under the name Anjela Rush-Jackson

    anonymous Jul 24, 2014 11:35am

    Janne, you are so right here. I have been on both sides of the spectrum, I was a very skinny kid/adolescent that was lanky and stick like. I had boys call me anorexic and girls hate me just because I was thin. Later in college I went and gained a lot of weight (combination of processed foods and a slower metabolism). I once overhead a man say to his friends, that I had a pretty face but too bad for my fat body. People in my family even commented…One bout of anorexia, some yo yo dieting and a decade later I am finally in a place where I love my body and fill it with only good food, most of the time.

    anonymous Jul 25, 2014 2:31pm

    Thank you for such a well written reminder for us not to think that tho someone is a different size than us, it's all a part of who they are and why we love them. Big or small, short or tall, the shell of the person doesn't define us.
    thank you!!

    anonymous Sep 21, 2014 11:35pm

    Yaaaaay for us "petite" gals. I am so over being told oh gosh you need to eat more. And even being grabbed round the waist and told oh you've no fat on you…. So just yay 🙂

    anonymous Sep 23, 2014 4:11pm

    Thank you what a joy to read. I must admit though, there had been times I ran into those skinny women with animosity and then looked at parts of myself that were jiggly. And after a while it occurred to me that I once was one of those skinny ****es – that is before I had my children umpteen years ago. I do, I do still work out and have come to terms with what I cannot do and cannot achieve as far fitness and as afar as liking what I look like. So, here, here! to all women in all kinds of bodies. – Stevie__

    anonymous Jul 29, 2015 10:10pm

    Great article. Being skinny isn't just a curse for some women, its not a lot of fun for a guy either. I was always like a greyhound, super skinny and tried everything to put on weight and nothing worked. I tried protein powders, creatine etc etc. In the end i just had to wait until I was a bit older and my metabolism slowed down.