To wait, takes work.
And oh how quickly I fall from the sweet graces of patience
With wings made of wood and paper.
Why am I surprised?
We all have trouble with the dismount.
Learning to land with grace,
is about losing the fear to fall.
And I have certainly slowed down,
but I can still come on strong.
Like a rusted old rail car picking up steam.
I roll, but I resist…
The resistance would be enough to start a fire
if the wood weren’t still wet…
still wet, from last night’s rain.
The same rain that soaked the ground
And turned the dirt to mud.
A thick mud that has slowed me to a crawl.
I am on my hands and knees
And I am nothing more than humbled.
Humbled to be here.
To be stuck in my tracks,
So that I do not have to search any longer.
So that I can stop running, and finally learn to stand.
But to stand…
To stand is easy.
To be poised…
To be poised takes purpose.
I engage all the muscles in my legs
and squeeze the self-doubt from every cell.
My foundation is strong.
It is strong and stable.
It is a foundation on which I have learned to wait.
And so I wait…
Knowing that I will never be ‘ready’ and yet still I wait.
But I wait not out of fear…No.
I wait from a place that feels
A place that knows that all movement comes from stillness
And that the many paths lead to suffering
But only one is paved with intention.
I wait, because love lives in the moment before we take our first steps.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Apprentice Editor: Ffion Jones / Editor: Travis May
Photo: Hartwig HKD, Flickr