July 13, 2014

Sex, Drugs & Rock & Roll: The Triad for Epic Love. ~ Debra Faith Warshaw

nenuache/Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/nenuache/3813909797/in/photolist-6P2hvt-5zCgo-7YYdWY-6uuWe-4SLD2Z-5BnPn-cbUUMy-6JV6Bh-9vBq6j-5AW7Hr-69fjCt-a4V6iB-bd7Ben-7ugotD-absgRh-5AW7CT-5B1nmA-6JV5Qj-5AW7N2-5AW1jV-2BHiTL-5B1nFL-9yy3y-bd7C9R-k5mEC-bd7AHv-bd7Cnn-bd7A4B-bd7Am2-bd7z4z-bd7zQv-bd7zsD-bd7Avr-bd7ywZ-bd7yok-bd7BBF-bd7CyT-bd7yMH-bd7AR8-8KRRWr-8KRQXn-8KRSWB-2HV4tE-4JTnT5-ppAyz-5zCnM-psCJg-prNqs-6P2izz-prVw6

I am a recovered groupie; a woman whose heart and soul was always being swept away by some musicians lamenting chorus and E minor profession of lost or unrequited love.

I’m a sucker for a profound and clever metaphor delivered in a poetic cry of gut wrenching infatuation and obsessive, lustful need.

Music has been my religion, my temple, and I’ve worshipped at the alter of many a male crooner in my life. “Sex, Drugs & Rock and Roll” was a lifestyle choice and a rebellious badge of honor I wore proudly in my youth.

Nowadays my worship takes the form of a more mature, consciously awakened woman.

My “groupie” status has shifted to suffice with a recent and shamelessly solicited hug from Krishna Das after an extremely spiritually uplifting Kirtan for world peace here in NYC.

I guess I’ve grown up (a bit), my life’s paradigm has evolved; my needs, wants and desires have shifted, but I still love a good metaphor, so I’m going with the idea of Sex, Drugs & Rock and Roll taking on a whole new meaning in my life, an expanded and more evolved meaning.

And actually, it’s a perfect combination of essential elements for healthy, intimate relationship.

So indulge me if you will.


It seems obvious, but, really, really good sex, sex of the “Soul F***ing” variety, includes a whole host of more complicated and elusive elements to take it higher.

Sure, it’s nice to feel love and chemistry during the act, but we will need to go deeper into the realms of trust, vulnerability, presence, connection, passion, strength, courage and intimacy to make it a transcendent experience.

We must practice incorporating all of these ingredients into the mix if we are to differentiate between “groupie sex” or “stale-mate” sex, and mind blowing sex with a spiritually aligned, conscious seeking soul-mate.

Sexual Nirvana is ours for the taking when we can open ourselves up to this level of intimacy.

Personally, I have no more interest in “groupie sex” at this point of my life. It would feel like eating a Big Mac and that’s just not going to happen.


Recreational drugs had their occasional place in my groupie days, but those days are long gone.

The drugs of my present metaphor include the naturally occurring variety that our brains produce when we feel the highs of love, sex and intimacy. These are the only drugs I need and desire now; the organic variety are the sustenance of life, the juice, the steroids of love.

Oxytocin, dopamine, adrenaline, endorphins, pheromones, serotonin; these are the chemical highs that drive us straight into the arms of “The Beast” known as love and relationship.

As empowered and enlightened junkies we need and crave these highs, and when they flow through our veins we can know and feel with no uncertainty the true meaning of life. We are on top of the world, unstoppable, divine forces of universal truth and love, tripping, hallucinating, expansive and free.

These are some kick-ass powerful drugs.

& Rock and Roll…

Rock and Roll is still a necessary and essential part of my life, but metaphorically speaking, the way we choose to “rock, roll and dance” with our life and love is what’s key to fulfillment.

It’s arguably the most critical part of the triad; it’s the foundation piece.

The choices we make in allowing ourselves to flow effortlessly with the highs and lows, the ups, downs and head spinning rounds of life will determine our level of happiness and fulfillment.

The inevitable curve balls and sucker punches we take and give in relationship require an inordinate amount of flexibility and fluidity to survive. We must work hard to maintain the ability to keep dancing, even when we can’t hear the music.

This flexibility is derived from our personal development work. Until we wake ourselves up, examine our garbage and start taking responsibility for the shit that we bring to the dance, we will keep looking to blame everyone else for our lack of harmony and toe stepping gaffes.

We need to find, and then sing, our own authentic tune in our own authentic voice and give up on the karaoke of our less conscious days.

I love that I can still make “Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll” a lifestyle choice but with my own personal spin on it.

Growing up is really about waking up, and that is the new paradigm for my lifestyle choice and proud badge of honor that I now choose to wear.

The music never has to stop; again, a choice. I’ll keep singing, dancing and loving till my very last breath; ever and always the rebel.



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Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: nenuache/Flickr


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