I met my soul mate when I was 15. I am now 22 and we are still stupidly in love.
From this 7 year relationship I have learnt one very important thing…
The silent treatment doesn’t work, they actually like it when you stop talking!
No, just kidding (although this is true, I tend to talk and talk and talk about the problem until he can’t take it any more and apologises!).
What I have really learnt is the importance of having someone in your life, who (no matter what) believes in you and supports you in reaching your dreams (even if these dreams change all the time and are slightly out there).
My fiancé has supported me in everything…and I mean everything.
Even here! I was determined that I wanted to hang from this tire, he tried every way possible to get me up there. He was panting and sweating (I’m not the lightest of chicks, my ass is pure ice-cream and chocolate cake!) but he didn’t stop till I was happily swinging from the trees.
At one point I wanted to be a children’s book writer, he told me to tell him all of my ideas (it was never going to work, I couldn’t think of any themes that didn’t involve a rabbit called Peter or three bears, so that phase fizzled out quickly).
Another time I wanted to be dolphin trainer (that went right out the window when I watched “The Cove,” my gosh that film killed me).
I’ve aspired to be a dancer, he has sat and watched me dance (like an absolute asshole) for hours on end and clapped every time.
I wanted to write a vegan cook book (after only being vegan for five days. He sat and ate 20 different versions of whipped coconut cream and food that tasted like cardboard, smiled and said “maybe we will work on the recipe later babe”).
Basically he has been my cheerleader and my guidance officer for as long as I can remember (he has also been my therapist, although his motto is “Just be happy babe,” to which I always reply, “Aw great, thanks, why didn’t I think of that!”).
While keeping me grounded and giving me the honest truth (to avoid me getting up on stage and performing my horribly choreographed dance to “hit me baby one more time”) he has always believed in me.
I believe every human needs this.
It’s not just your partner, friends are very important too.
Do your friends believe in you and support your dreams? Or are you surrounded by people who doubt you, push their own fears down your throat and dissolve your passion?
Sometimes we lose faith in our own ability, we lose the drive or the belief that we can achieve.
This is where your support group comes in. They should be there to give advice that only comes from the heart. They should be there to reinstall that faith you have lost. They should be reminding you of the reasons you can achieve your dreams. They are your own personal cheerleaders!
Just a reminder here, I support my fiancé just as much as he does me, it is so important to show your loved ones your belief in them also. Lead by example! It’s no good having your friend say, “Do you think I can achieve this?” and you replying, “Nah, you’re no good at that, get back to your day job,” and then expect them to boost your confidence!
If you have a lot of people in your life that are constantly shitting on your dreams, maybe just stop asking for their opinion? Ask like minded people, find others who share your passion or people who have achieved what you want to achieve.
I know there is always talk of “surrounding yourself with positive people” but it is so so so important. My fiancé has believed in my dream for me when I have lost my faith. Don’t ever settle for someone who brings you down, don’t allow other peoples fears extinguish your belief and ensure you are not the one installing doubt and fear in others.
Each and everyone of us deserves to be apart of loving, positive and supportive relationships. They are out there! Do not believe that these kind of relationships don’t exist, they do! They are real and amazing and you can have one!
We fall flat sometimes and as much as we like to pretend we don’t, we all need someone to blow us back up from time to time.
Reach for that person that believes in you and is strong enough to lift you up.
We are all so freaking capable, we just need the right kind of wind beneath our wings.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Editor: Emily Bartran
Photos: Author’s Own