How can you tell if someone does CrossFit?

Don’t worrytheyll tell you.

Bonus! This makes fun of me, too!

An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar… 

…and I only know this because they won’t shut the f*ck up about it.

10 CrossFittm Things:

1. “Typical CrossFittm Workout.” (youtube.com)

2. The first rule of CrossFittm is:


First rule about Crossfit: talk non-stop about Crossfit.

3. Let’s get serious: “Actual CrossFittm involves standing on the medicine ball while throwing and catching the weight. Then posting on instagram, twitter, and facebook about the activity.”

4. Another great CrossFittm video via our elephriends the Kloons: “Cross Fit by Jesus.” Tithe it up:

CrossFittm works. You’ll just have to take my word for it.”

5. More CrossFittm humor:

msNNJd7 imgur

6. Seriously, be careful with your alignment and joints, friends:

2ri1nl crossfit funny



7aDDG6C crossfit


8. So many quotable quotes. Serious around 4 minutes in.


“CrossFit, starts in the gym and ends on Facebook.”

“Crossfit. They take all the boring shit, like safety…and effectiveness. And replace it with cool shit, like violence…and danger!”

Not nearly as good but good:

Deadlifts from the Washed Up Loser Olympics by InfiniteElgintensity





10. WHAT


In conclusion: like paleo or gluten-free, CrossFit is good, but Crossfit the fad is sketchy. Do it responsibly.

More: “The theory behind crossfit is good. Combining all sorts of different approaches to fitness to become well-rounded. The practical application of crossfit as a whole is bad. Why?


CrossFit: Confessions of a Cynical Cult Member.



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Mayela Pesil Nov 12, 2015 10:31am

Dear elephant journal, I started reading this post because I thought it would be the typically sarcatic post where you just joke around, until It started turning into a critique to those who practice this sport. I think that you missed the point in the whole article.. which should be promoting physical activity and a healthier lifestyle. No matter what you practice call it yoga, gym, crossfit, football, running… they are all physical activities and they have all got their risks. Personally I don't think it's right to say things about certain sport because the whole point is to keep moving, improve your health, feel better…. to be a better version of youself…

nlclarkson Dec 7, 2014 11:00am

I'm all for making fun of CrossFit (even as someone who has done CrossFit for several years). The fifth point on your list really disappoints me, though. I really wish I weren't seeing the most messed-up gender-policing and transphobic aspects of CrossFit culture (which is both internal and external to CrossFit) reproduced here on Elephant Journal.

Valeria Dec 1, 2014 7:07pm

That was exactly my gut feeling. I never tried it but the fanatics throwing around weights and always talking about it threw me off. I’ve done weightlifting with personal instructor who was a pre-med graduate for 4 years between my dancing and yoga journeys. I cannot comprehend how people throw themselves into care of an instructor who got their certificate yesterday after doing it for 6 months himself and not have their backs and joints blown. Not saying all instructors are like that but I’ve seen enough injured ones coming to recover to the yoga studio I go to!

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