12 Things I Love about Conscious Women.

Via Damien Bohler
on Dec 11, 2014
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These are traits that I find beautiful and awe-inspiring in conscious women.

I have felt incredibly privileged to meet a lot of conscious women lately. This, however, is not meant as a list for them or anyone else to be a measure of their desirability.

All of these things are completely idealistic.

Life is a dynamic state of ever-expanding awareness and absolute perfection is an illusion. With this in mind I invite you to take this article as an honouring for all women who are always aspiring to grow. I hope that in some tiny way this can add to the journey.

One dozen qualities of the conscious woman.

12. Attentive patience to the growth process.

I am relaxed and trusting when I am around women who know that personal-growth takes time and is a never-ending process. I am inspired by the way they hold patience and trust for themselves that they will continue to unfold to be their very best. I see a lot of self compassion and learning surrounding the inevitable mistakes.

Compassion for their own evolution calms and comforts me, it lets me know that while they will hold me to the fire of my own growth they can also be patient with the parts of me still struggling.

11. Being more than a physical body.

Women are far more than a body to objectify and lust over. To successfully relate to a conscious woman is to meet her on many levels—her intelligence, creativity, emotional, sexuality and spirituality. For women like this, radiance is an expression of her whole being.

It’s a lot of fun to discover all the different ways we connect.

10. Holds a focus on well-being.

There is a vibrancy, radiance and aliveness I see in women who take care of themselves. While these women know that they are more than a body they still realise that the well-being of their body is utterly essential to fulfilling their deepest potential in life.

I see these women taking good care of themselves. They tend to eat healthy, organic and whole foods, sleep enough and exercise sustainably. I find this incredibly attractive. I love the woman who can get naturally high from life, nature and good company.

9. Embracing beauty.

I can’t help but soften around women who seem to actively embrace beauty, including their own.

Women like this walk with a lightness, joy, and gratitude for this planet we live on. They stop often to smell the flowers, revel in the sunshine or admire a view. Their utter delight is infectious and magnetic and I imagine the colours, smells and textures of the world being more vibrant through their senses.

Going for a walk with a woman can be a journey into the little details of the world around me. When I’m with a woman like this, I can’t help but feel as beautiful as she sees me, and all those around her.

8. Truly cares for others and the Earth.

I feel inspired by women that see the beauty of the world without being naive. These women are aware of the problems the planet is facing and care in a way that it determines most of their life choices. She leaves a light footprint on the planet and does her part in living sustainably.

She helps others when they need it and has great capacity for giving. Awakening women know that our planet desperately needs all of us to rise to a new potential for living together—her life reflects that.

She doesn’t just talk the talk, she also walks the walk and that totally lights me up.

7. Is emotionally mature.

Emotions arise, change and move through us, like the weather on Earth. Sometimes it is sunny and warm while other times cold or stormy.

I love being with women who are open yet unattached to these movements of mood. Women who can feel fully and express the intensity of anger, the depths of grief and the lightness of joy and stay with these emotions knowing that they too will pass—all things are impermanent.

Everything is welcome, the world is beautiful and it is also f*cked up and full of injustice. Conscious women can rage when needed, hurt at the suffering on the planet yet also feel the absolutes of joy and bliss.

Nothing is repressed.

6. Lives with integrity and never settles.

I think one of the biggest contributions to the evolution of men on the planet will be radiant women who do not settle for less than a man who can meet them fully.

A woman who lives with integrity and consistently aligns her thoughts and actions is a powerful force. This absolutely inspires me to grow because I want women like this in my life!

Conscious women who are living their truth, fiercely and uapologetically are transforming the world on a daily basis. Bring it on!

5. Continues to open even when it hurts.

Sometimes things go wrong. We all make bad choices, we all get broken hearts and in these moments it is all too easy to play the victim and close our hearts in defiance of life’s pain.

I am consistently inspired by the women who can stay open even when it hurts, even when it feels like the whole world is ending. Transformation is often accompanied by discomfort. By opening into, even counter-intuitively moving towards, this discomfort an awakening woman will grow no matter what.

4. Receives elegantly.

It’s a beautiful thing to offer admiration to a woman who is able to receive it elegantly without discomfort, rejection or false modesty.

These amazing conscious women value the hard work they have put into developing themselves and can accept praise genuinely. No matter how many times they hear others speak of their radiance and beauty—people will absolutely will speak of it—they are still impacted.

These women recognize that the observer is seeing ones own beauty, consciously or subconsciously reflected. An awakened woman knows that in order to completely embrace praise is also to welcome others beauty in the world.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” ~ ancient Greek idiom

3. Loves men.

When I’m with a woman who has genuine love for me as a man I feel deep respect for what this takes. These conscious women have done the work necessary to transcend the hurt they may have received at the hands of men.

This does not mean that she condones violence or oppression, rather she sees that many men are hurting too and has compassion and encouragement for us.

She is also a lover of men and deeply enjoys bringing pleasure to and being pleasured by our company. It is a rare man who can stand and meet her fully—she will melt into the feminine letting him know the deepest delights, as her whole being becomes a vessel for ecstasy.

This is the kind of man I aspire to be daily.

2. Loves women.

There is something that touches me when I see women connecting, loving and appreciating each other. It is a beautiful woman that, as much as she loves men, she has the same, if not more love for her sisters of the Earth.

As a group, conscious women can be virtually unstoppable in their impact. These women support, empower and inspire each other to be their very best.

1. Willingly enters the unknown.

Conscious women tend to seek the unknown. From adventures around the globe, to awakening new levels of consciousness within, to exploring deep feelings with others, to experimenting sexually.

I love, love, love being with women who embrace the unknown.

Women who move forward into the new territories expanding before them. To stay in one place, in everything we already know, is to stagnate and conscious women do not stagnate.

This is growth, this is evolution and awakening women are willing participants in this never ceasing universal force.

When we come together in this dance of the unknown, then magic is created—this is the adventure I live for.

Thank you amazing women for infusing this world with your unique gifts.



Relephant Reads: 

10 Things I Find Sexy in a Woman 

How to Love a Wild Woman 

Date a Woman Who Knows Everything & Nothing



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Author: Damien Bohler

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr, pixoto

A few wonderfully conscious, inspiring women:

Another with Roshi Joan:

Rachel, on her wedding day:


Byron Katie!


And my mom!


About Damien Bohler

Damien Bohler is a nomadic soul increasingly delighted by his existence on this strange and wonderful planet. He enjoys writing, climbing trees, walking barefoot, permaculture, integral theory and holding optimistic idealism for the potential of the human species. You can like his Facebook page and be informed about his upcoming book series "Evolutionary Relating", read his other writings at his website, MonkeysCorner or be his Facebook friend .


43 Responses to “12 Things I Love about Conscious Women.”

  1. Melanie says:

    Wow… Where have you been all my life and are there more like you… All I want is a man who sees this in me and can look at me and say – you are the amazing woman I've been waiting for. Thank you… You give me hope.

  2. Lyn says:

    Wow, so beautifully written.
    I am everything you say in this and am striving to be even better, so thank you for helping me realise there are men out there that understand and appreciate us, not be intimidated by us. All we want is an EQUAL on ALL levels
    Superwoman vs realwoman http://superwomanvsrealwoman.com

  3. Miriam says:


  4. Bhawna says:

    I thought only a woman can understands how she feels. But you proved it all wrong. Can't really imagine a man who think like you do exists. Thanks!

  5. guest says:

    These are great qualities – a little frightening but very attractive to this typical male.

  6. Margaret says:

    Beautiful article….thank you.

  7. Monkey says:

    Thanks Melanie 🙂
    Yes there are many men out there like this, and many more growing into this.
    Look closely. Sometimes we are shy, or perhaps not as aggressive as other men in expressing our desires. That insane inducing chemistry might not be there at first meeting either, yet if you take time to know a man who appears sincere you may be surprised at what can flourish.

  8. Monkey says:

    Hey Lyn thanks for your compliment.

    This article is written for women like you, and that genuine desire to always always grow 🙂

    As a man I feel exactly the same. I am looking for an equal who can meet me deeply on many levels.

  9. Monkey says:

    Hey Bhawna, there are plenty of us out there. Other men may not be as expressive as I am in communicating our appreciation, it doesn't mean they don't see it and feel it though.

    I hope you find many of us 🙂

  10. Monkey says:

    Hey Margaret, you are welcome!

  11. laura says:

    All of the qualities you list are, to varying degrees, things I celebrate in my husband (and other good men). Why make it all about women? Who are you to tell us how we should be? It’s a bit like racial slurs, you can really only use them if they apply to you. Please, do keep writing. You write well, and there was a lot of good stuff in here. And in future, please consider doing some research into damaging gender stereotypes and inclusive writing. Cheers

  12. Laura May says:

    Wow, what a snag, did that get you laid? Actually, that would have been an amazing article if you simply changed all the ‘ woman’ to ‘person’. Try it, it works! Frankly, it came across as a sexist and self-serving rant about what a sensitive and great guy you are for noticing how amazing women can be (at least so long as they model themselves after your idealised image). The choice of picture backed this up. What you are essentially doing here is perpetuating the ‘goddess’ archetype, which is just as damaging and sexist as the witch, submissive wife, or innocent Virgin archetypes (or the bitch, which I’m no doubt going to be received as after this). All of the qualities you list are, to varying degrees, things I celebrate in my husband (and other good men). Why make it all about women? Who are you to tell us how we should be? It’s a bit like racial slurs, you can really only use them if they apply to you.. Please, do keep writing. You write well, and there was a lot of good stuff in here. And in future, please consider doing some research into damaging gender stereotypes and inclusive writing. Cheers

  13. Russ says:

    Couldn't agree more. I'm in the processes of becoming an acupuncturist and 90% of the student body is women. The energy these amazing women put out is immense and humbling. It has given me a perspective that I hope all men will reach someday. The yin to my yang. 🙂

    Bathe in the everlasting divinity of feminine power. Do not question, just receive, and embrace the infinite wealth which envelopes all known and unknowable.

  14. paige says:

    I'm standing with Laura May! Article caught my eye but the first thing I saw was a fair-skinned woman's derriere! Your original choice of someone biking in the snow was admirable, follow it up!

  15. Monkey says:

    Hey Laura,
    I like the bitch too 🙂 It took me a long time to get comfortable with her though (topic of my next piece which will be out soon). I especially like it if the bitch is conscious enough to recognize and moderate herself so she isn't unduly mean, which I'm not saying you are.

    Yes you are right all these traits apply just as equally to men. Personally I'm not interested in creating gender neutrality, playing it safe or always conforming to completely inclusive writing, I think that would make for a very boring world. I acknowledge that stereotypes can be harmful yet I also trust that individually it is possible to outgrow their confining and cloying nature. What I have discovered is once the shackles of stereotypes falls away we don't actually become all homogenous, in fact we end up increasingly differentiated yet also integrated having access to wider spectrums of possibility for being. As I observe both women and men become more 'conscious' I find that many women become even more feminine and many men become even more masculine. It's like we stretch away from what we are told to be and discover what we want to be and for many women that is feminine and for many men that is masculine, although it doesn't have to be. We get to express our own delicious flavor of that. I actually think its harmful to try and tear that down as if we are going to heal the world by making everyone the same!? I like feminine women and I like being a masculine man. I don't reject masculine women or feminine men either, I'm just not particularly drawn to them.

    I wanted to write something that celebrated the amazing women I have met in my life. I don't see myself telling anyone how they should be. I am listing qualities that I personally find inspirational and if women can read them and feel somehow empowered, as many have seemed to, then I am grateful because I want women to feel empowered and safe to embody the fullness of themselves in this world. That feels good to me. And certainly its not up to me to do that, yet I can still contribute to a climate of celebration and spaciousness. Personally that is what I think I have done. And I am sorry that I could not also satisfy you too. Unfortunately this is the nature of writing, there are always people who don't like it. Thank you for being my critic and keeping me in check 🙂 and also thank you for the compliment.

    I also want men to feel equally inspired, celebrated and empowered as well and at other times I will write more geared to that. However as a mostly heterosexual man I highly enjoy being celebrated by women.
    As the sexes what is wrong with loving each other up? I am all for a world that looks to our best qualities, even if they are generalities, and speaks out loud "you are gorgeous. I celebrate you".

  16. Hi Damien! I have to say I laughed when reading some of the comments made on your article. First I appreciate that you are able to articulate some of the qualities that many woman embody–they are all worthy of our attention. It’s nice to see something written by a man that recognizes the value of these qualities and admires them. But I do have to admit when I first saw that photo at the top it immediately seemed so stereotypical. Any young woman hitch hiking in short shorts where I live would usually not embrace the 12 qualities you list. Of course, you might not have had a choice in that matter but still! On the other hand, I don’t think your post is sexist even though it applies equally for men. The only thing you left off your list IMHO in a sense of humor. Perhaps if you had included it, we could all have had a great laugh at how we all responded in these comments. 🙂

  17. elephantjournal says:

    Thanks for the comment Kathy,
    The editor of this piece chose the photo, not Damien.

  18. Janelle says:

    1) I see Sarah Christine’s “Conscious Women” song link on Facebook.
    2) I like it. Related article pops up “12 Things I Love about Conscious Women.” I click.
    3) I read title again “12 Things I Love about Conscious Women.” I scroll.
    4) I see the editor’s photo choice and think “NUMBER ONE: THEIR ASSES!”
    5) I wonder “What else will be on the list? Tits? Flowing locks? Luscious lips?”
    I love my body and I love helping other people to appreciate their bodies, too. 🙂 I love my ass, tits, flowing locks, and luscious lips — AND I feel a little sad for the author of this piece, because I think the editor’s choice of photo really distracts from the message of this article. The author even says, Women are more than just bodies to lust after. The photo brings to mind the stereotype of the sexy hitchhiker, showing leg, alluding to more intimacy, in order to get a ride. By omitting her face, she is not given an identity — she’s just a round ass. Part of me wonders if the editor chose this photo to gets lots of comments and traffic? Or just an oversight? My opinion is that focusing on and celebrating our sexy parts (like dat ass above) is something that I’d like to happen after we get to know each other, and get permission to ogle.
    I love that other commenters expressed that these qualities are “people” qualities and not just “women” qualities ~ and I also love that the author responded and supported his view of wanting to celebrate women. I like being celebrated. Thank you. And I celebrate you, too!
    I’d love to hear more opinions. I’m not interested in being prudish or stifling conversation about sexuality. At the same time I felt like the photo choice reinforced that a woman should be a sexy body (old crap). So, where do we go from here? Exciting as we all grow and learn together.
    Finally, if you want to hear a great song, check out Sarah Christine’s Conscious Women on Soundcloud. Oh! And one more thing. I am speaking on a Global Summit called Brave Body Love next month. It starts on Feb 14th and we can keep talkin’ bodies there!

  19. Anne says:

    Damien, Well said and I had no problem seeing it as an appreciation of the women you’ve met not a list or requirements. It is your observation, appreciated. I am this type of woman and find it difficult to find a man comfortable with me. Many times in order to promote marital harmony I’ve become something else, it ruins my soul. Wish me luck on my path to find peace again.

    Editor who posted the photo-not impressed esp. from Elephant Journal. What do tell in that photo relates to the title/article….hmm.

  20. Giovanna says:

    It is an awakened conscious which can acknowledge that objectifying women goes far deeper than the body; it is also possible to objectify the minds of women simply by discussing their cognitive abilities as attractive or unattractive based on their gender. I realize the intention of this article is to empower women, however, by discussing cognition in this way, as gender specific, a notion is created that women inherently have quite different brains than any other gender. Perhaps a more enlightened mind can see how this may reaffirm inequalities and negative differences among genders instead of looking through a more collective lens which allows the mind to think of each person as a human being and not bound in any way to the identity given to them by society. The gender a person subscribes to is completely irrelevant to their innate human ability to attain an awakened consciousness.

  21. Shelly says:

    I hate to be a party poop, but alas I am used to saying what I think. I was looking forward to reading this actually until I saw the picture of the woman with the perfect ass. I find it beautiful thats to be sure. But isn't it somehow….misplaced here? What is the connection of being a wonderfully conscious woman with the flawless and young body? I suppose being 56 has changed my perceptions of whats important. My views have changed over the years, I am more conscious and will continue to grow till I leave this earth. And believe me, when the tight ass gracefully sags and the firmness transforms, something else becomes awakend.

  22. barkerletter says:

    yeah, I dunno. You could probably get away with calling him dorky but nudging it over into the "sexist" category? That's the great race though innit … to see who gets to "sexist" or "manhater" or "mysogynist" first. I don't think grabbing the moral high ground serves the discussion. Yeah he's snaggy but probably sincere…

  23. Shana says:

    i enjoyed that – thank you.

    it’s kind of your love call and it relates well to mine.

    i didn’t think it was sexist – just personal.

    beautifully written.

    hopeful. 🙂

    God bless you! 🙂 thanks for writing – keep it up, dude! 😉 🙂

  24. @elanvitals says:

    Seriously awesome words!

  25. sabrena says:

    Great article, brought down by the photo- incongruous with point #11….

  26. this if fucking beautiful. Thank you.

  27. im sorry, too, for all of the commenters who chose to focus on the ass of the woman in the photo. Perhaps we could see the greater picture of a woman whose confidence is allowing her the freedom to pack her bags and move on. To adventure. To feel fearless. Perhaps we could disassociate with the "ideal" body, the perfect legs, short shorts whatever, and not stereotype a photograph; it is just a picture, a representation that is associated with a figure only because we choose to respond to it that way. Whose to say that the fit legs and butt aren't followed up with a fit heart and soul. Judge less.

  28. Shana says:

    great response

  29. Sambo says:

    Your response sir, was perfect. I see nothing sexist in it. I am not just a person – I am a woman! Why should it be considered sexist to embrace being demure and feminine. I kick ass when I need to.

  30. Sambo says:

    Wow the pic was the last thing I saw, I actually had to scroll back up to see what all the fuss was about. I see a young, free spirited woman on the search for adventure and life! This is my first time commenting on an article here but I couldn't just let it go past.

  31. Dena says:

    Thank you!

  32. Irie says:

    Nahhhhhhhhh, what a bitter response to a beautiful article.

    "He is taking ownership of something he has no business owning. It is privilege." He doesn't speak for me as a woman, but NEITHER DO YOU. Pretending that a male can't understand a female perspective simply because of his gender is sexist and sooo self-absorbed. You are taking ownership of something you have no business owning. Just because you are a woman doesn't mean that you have absolutely anything in common with me, or understand my perspective on life. Judging from your response, I have much more in common with the male author than with you. But seriously, stop defining women and how they feel based on your sole mindset.

  33. Courtney Bee says:

    Damien, thank you for this beautiful article. As a woman who’s ran the gamut in gender identity, sexual orientation and all things involving the “illusion” of self, your response to writing gender inclusively put the finger on a point I’ve been wrestling with for quite sometime. Thank you for celebrating me! I likewise celebrate you, as a man, human, and soul. Please keep writing unashamedly, as I will keep reading.. And to the other commenters.. Rest assured that although our paths are different, the destination is the same! Live to love and learn 🙂


  34. Ashley says:

    Wow. A little sexist don't you think?
    Me and my lesbian lover appreciate qualities similar to this in both eachother and our friends who are MEN.
    It's 2015, women do not need a patronizing pat on the head from you putting us in our place. And no woman is here on this earth to serve men like you.

  35. jennmeag says:

    I like this, thank you.

  36. cosmicmom50 says:

    Yep, paige! I was drawn to the article, but when I saw the pic at the top of the page and its depiction of an adorable little ass in short-shorts, typical media representation of the "ideal" woman, it just seemed like another objectification of women. I wonder who picks the pics? It totally detracted from the objective of the article, IMHO.

  37. Annie says:

    Thank you for writing such a beautiful and appreciative article. I appreciate you too. Blessings, love, and light to you sweet heart. 🙂

  38. Elizabeth says:

    I LOVE this so much. I am all of these things and always evolving. I thank you for reminding me of it all. The past 2 weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions and I needed to read this and reaffirm. I agree with many of the previous comments and truly hope to find a man who sees these things in me. But NYC is pretty brutal. Namaste.

  39. crystal says:


  40. caj says:

    I've been thinking the same thing – also my first time commenting.

  41. Tasara says:

    Why are we looking at a young woman’s ass before reading this article? Why does the zine have to sell the article with sex, when that kind of contradicts the purpose of the article?

  42. bjlobo says:

    Yes. A beautifully eloquent expression of what I, as a heterosexual woman, hope my man/men see and love about me. Thank you, totally appreciate you in the world!

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